FOREVER! I know, I am so sorry it took me so long to post in this story. I have been so stuck on this chapter. I knew where I wanted it to go but when it came to getting the words out I hit a road block. This chapter is long, but I like it a lot. It was fun to write…. Regina, if you read this I dedicate this one to you. At the end I hope you know why!
Chapter Ten
Three Months Later…
"Now aren't you just a handsome young man."
Jumping slightly from the disturbance Tommy glanced up, his eyes meeting those of an elderly woman. She smiled down at him.
"Sorry to scare you darling," Her voice kind as she spoke to him, "I saw you sitting here alone and thought I'd come flirt a little."
"Flirt?" Chuckling Tommy grinned up at her.
"Yeah. Haven't done it in years, so maybe you could teach me a thing or two."
Tommy reached over the seat next to his, lifting up his carry bag he motioned for the woman to take a seat.
"Something tells me you would have no problem in that department."
Chuckling as she took a seat she replied, "Something tells me you have no problem in that department either."
"I don't want to brag or anything," Tommy began as he smiled winningly at her, "but, you would be correct."
"Would you be surprised if I told you I was quite the popular one back in my day?"
"You mean your days are over?" Pulling out his charm Tommy added a wink as the woman blushed slightly.
"Goodness gracious," Her aged hand moved back and forth as if she were fanning her face, "You're making an old woman blush."
Tommy shifted in his seat, moving his eyes around the room, giving the impression he was searching for something, "I don't see an old woman in this room," his questioning gaze met hers before he continued, "Where did you see her?"
Her eyes lit up as she stared over at Tommy, "And now I'm in love," Came her response.
Silence fell over the two as Tommy turned his attention back to the papers resting on his lap. His appointment was coming up shortly, which meant he could be sitting there another hour. He liked his doctor, so did the rest of Toronto, everyone under the sun seemed to have appointments the same day and time Tommy did. Since his illness was progressing the way the doctors thought it would, he was not considered high priority when it came to getting into his appointments. Not even his celebrity status hurried along the long hours of waiting.
His back was hurting, more than usual, his neck was sore, and slowly as the minutes passed, Tommy was becoming impatient. Sighing he shifted in his chair once again, trying to find a comfortable position.
"Sighing is never a good sign," The elder woman spoke softly.
"Never?"
Her head shook, sending her white curls back and forth, "Never. I believe it means there's either a lot on the mind, or some sort of pain. Sometimes even both at the same time," Her lips turned in a small smile, "Which is it for you honey?"
"Both," Tommy answered leaning his head back against the wall, "With the pain comes the thoughts, and vice versa."
"I know how that goes."
"I was supposed to see the doctor a half hour ago. He sent his nurse out here to tell me it would be another hour."
"Always the dreaded part of coming to a doctor's office."
"Tell me about it."
"You in here often?"
Surprised by his willingness to be open with the older woman Tommy shifted again in his seat, trying with great difficulty to face her better. She smiled at him, small wrinkles around her eyes crinkled, he felt his own lips curve at the sight. Somehow being around the tiny woman Tommy felt calm. He only felt that way around Jude, and once back when he was a boy with his mother. His head still rest against the wall as he opened his mouth to answer her previous question.
"Once a week. Have been for about a month now."
"Like the doc that much?" Laughter filled her tone.
Tommy's eyes rolled as he chuckled, "Yeah. Right!"
Her aged hand reached over and gently touched the top of his, "How sick are you darlin'?"
Frank with her question. She certainly was something else. Not even knowing who she was Tommy once again felt a stir when he wanted to tell her. Jude and Kwest were the only two people who Tommy would let his heart open up to; now he felt his heart opening for the small woman who held his hand.
"I'm dying," Tommy spoke on a whisper.
Her eyes clouded over with tears before she gently squeezed the hand she held, "Physically. But I bet you're not in here," With her other hand she reached up and tapped Tommy on his chest. Over his heart.
"I never thought of it that way," A sigh escaped his lips as he felt himself close to tears, "All these months have gone by and not once have I ever thought of it like that."
"Most don't."
Tommy sat up so he could look her in the eye, "Why not?"
"I think most believe when one part dies it all does. It's not true though," Her eyes lifted up towards the ceiling showing she was in deep thought, "The heart never stops beating. Never stops pumping blood through out the body. Never stops living just because another part starts to fade. This is when the heart steps up and works even harder. Trying to keep the soul alive."
"Making up for the loss of the other?" Tommy questioned thoughtfully.
Her eyes met his again before she smiled, "Exactly."
"Is that how we can find a calm in the storm?"
"Hmm. You catch on quick handsome," Placing her other hand over his she pat it gently. Reminding Tommy of a lost embrace his mother would have done years ago, "Now I don't know what higher power you seek but for me--- I believe God never gives too much. He never over fills on the burdens without equaling it out with a release. We have the bad and we have the good. Simple as that."
"If only every person thought the way you do."
"It would sure be a hell of an easier planet to live on."
Laughing Tommy cupped both of her hands with his, squeezing them with warmth. His new friend was quite the woman. Her words spoke to him. He never thought of his heart being alive… he felt love and emotions, yet the cloud of darkness seemed to follow him around. His heart did beat, did pump life through out his body, yet all the months that had passed by made Tommy feel guilty. So much time had been wasted, so many hours passed he could have spent with a better attitude. It was too late, his time was dwindling down, the clock of life ticking faster to the end. He did the only thing he felt he could. He sighed. Long and hard, dragging in the attention of the older woman sitting next to him.
"No regrets dear," Tommy turned to face her when she spoke, "Don't let more time pass by thinking of the inevitable. Just follow your heart and spend the time you do have enjoying life. Letting those you love know it, leaving them with memories of a happier you. The person they are so used to seeing."
"Where have you been all my life?"
The stranger laughed happily, her eyes twinkling up at him, "Why I've been waiting for this moment. For you to come along and sweep me off my feet."
"I'm here now," Tommy winked.
"I would be temped honey if I wasn't old enough to be your grandmother."
"You don't look a day over twenty-five."
Her cheeks flushed a shade of pink before she once again brought her hand up to fan her face. Tommy chuckled at her. She truly was something else. He wished all of his doctors visits could go this well.
"If I tell you something will you promise not to think of me differently?" Breaking the short bout of silence that fell between them she questioned Tommy hopefully.
"Yes."
She leaned in closer to Tommy, touching her lips to his ear before she spoke, "I was a closet Boyz Attack! fan."
Tommy's eyebrows shot up in question as he coughed to cover up the laughter that threatened to burst out. His friend grinned wildly at him as his turn to blush came.
"My husband didn't much care for the genre of music, but I always thought of myself as the hipper half of our whole," She sighed in happy thought's before continuing, "I saw you guys on a late night show one night. It surly was a rough time back then… I had many sleepless nights. Finding myself stationed in front of the television, channel surfing, isn't that what you guys call it?" She asked not expecting an answer, "Can't much remember what show it was, but I remember being perked up by the music they were playing."
"What music?" Tommy asked. Afraid to find out what exactly she saw and heard.
"'Pick Up The Pieces" It caught my ear so I watched and there you guys were. Dancing around singing that song."
Tommy groaned at the thought of any mention of his "boy band" days.
"I was hooked from that moment on. I bought every album, even a walkman to listen to them with."
"Seriously?" Tommy asked. His face flushing in uncomfortable embarrassment.
She grinned sheepishly before nodding in excitement, "Oh yes. I even saw you guys in concert once."
Once again Tommy's eyebrows shot up as disbelief filled his eyes, "No!"
"Bet your life I did. I talked my good friend Shirley into letting me take her granddaughter and a couple of her friends to the concert. We had floor level seating and one of the girls swore up and down that you winked at her."
Laughing Tommy shook his head in amazement, "This is too weird," Covering his face with his hands he hid the blush that deepened his skin a rosy color.
"Why is it weird?"
Letting his hands slip a little Tommy turned his head to face her, "I try to not think about those days."
Her eyes saddened before she softly asked, "Why not?"
"I was in a boy band, the epitome of all to laugh and mock."
"Don't you say that!"
"It's true," Tommy rushed to defend, "That time in my life is something I boxed away. Hoping to never see again."
"Are you embarrassed?" She looked sad as she asked him that. If she really was a fan Tommy believed he hurt her feelings.
"Maybe."
She sighed. Her gaze drifted from his, leaving Tommy to wonder if he offended her in some way. She quickly was becoming a friend to him. Guilt filled him as he watched her look straight ahead. Deep in thoughts she sighed again before letting her head rest against the wall.
"Everything we do in our lives is a stepping stone to where we are now…to where we'll be in the future," She closed her eyes as she spoke, "We all do things we regret, and even look back on in horror and embarrassment. Yet when we find ourselves wondering how the hell we got where we are now, can we honestly say those times were not part of the pathway?" As she asked the question her eyes opened, pinning Tommy with a kind stare.
"I don't know," Tommy replied uneasily.
"Think back then. If you never joined Boyz Attack! would you be where you are today? Not meaning the doctors office… but would your life be where it is now?"
Tommy shook his head, "No it wouldn't."
"And are you happy with where your life has lead you?"
"Yes."
"Would you have ended up here if you never joined that boy band?" Her eyes bore into his. Her questions going straight to Tommy's heart.
"Probably not."
"Is that epitome of all to laugh and mock looking so bad now?" The way she used Tommy's words against him made him feel sad and happy at the same time. No one ever, besides Jude, made him feel good about his days with the band.
"Surprisingly no."
Her eyes crinkled as a small smile lifted the corners of her mouth, "You should be proud of your past. All the bad and all the good, all of it should be regarded the same. We are who we are because of the decisions we make in life. Don't regret who you were just because a few knuckleheads out there perceive it as "un-cool." Turn those minds around and show them you are proud of the man you are now because of the man you were then."
"Isn't it a little too late to be showing the world that?"
She shook her head, her curls bouncing with the movement, "No dear. It's never too late."
Never too late to take on the world. Tommy half smiled at the thought of him hobbling out of his house and announcing in front of all the paparazzi he was proud to be "Little Tommy Q." He had spent years threatening any person who dare use the dreaded nickname against him, now his new friend was telling him he should reverse every thought and be happy about the times he wore a white suit, bandana to boot while he danced around singing poppy songs about young love.
Was she right? Did this woman who had easily won her way into his heart have a point? Tommy mulled over her words. He never would have had his career if it was not for the band. Jude would never have come into his life. Now she was his life, all thoughts of never knowing her pained him.
"I think you're right," Tommy announced into the silent room.
She shifted next to him before replying, "Am I?"
"Yeah. I never would have met Jude if I wasn't a producer, which never would have come about if I hadn't been in Boyz Attack!"
"I believe you are thinking correctly now."
Tommy smiled before turning his head to face her. She was smiling as well, "Score one for you."
Her smile turned into a laugh, filling the room with the joyous sound brought a warmth to Tommy.
"How is that beautiful wife of yours?"
"Beautiful as always," Tommy found himself easily saying.
"That she is."
Nodding Tommy shook his head, "She's also mad at me."
Her face paused in curiosity, "How so?"
"I wanted to come to this appointment alone. She wanted to come with me, so one thing led to another, and now here I am alone."
"Ah, so you angered your wife?"
"Yes. She helped me up here then left. She was mad but a while later she called me and said she was sorry for hovering over me all the time."
"Is it really that awful to have someone willing to take care of you?"
"No," Tommy answered, "But it does get old when someone is constantly doting over every need."
"Tommy," her voice turned stern as she sat up straight, "I come from experience with this topic. All I can say is, when someone you love is sick, we tend to get overprotective. Especially a wife. I bet Jude is doing what she feels is the only thing she can. That's how I felt. The outcome is already laid out, yet the trials and paths to get there are not.
"I bet it becomes most annoying to have someone constantly hovering over you all the time--- but I would let her. She loves you, she wants you to be comfortable, she wants to take care of you. You should let her, don't let your independence slip away, but let your wife do what she needs to. It's her way of coping."
"It's hard."
"Yeah it is. Try to think of it as an overall picture."
"Thanks," Tommy began, "You said you were speaking from experience?"
"Yes."
"May I ask what experience?"
Tommy heard her clear her throat before she slipped her hand into his. Asking for a silent comfort.
"My husband was very ill before he passed away last month."
"I-I'm sorry," Tommy stuttered. Shocked by her words, "I didn't mean to bring it up."
He watched her as she closed her eyes, shielding herself from crying out. A tear slipped from her eye before she shook her head. Deep in thought.
"He used to have to come here all the time, appointment after appointment. Sure did take toll on his frail body. Yet he fought me time and time again about constantly stepping on his toes. I yelled right back letting that old goon know I was doing what I had to. For the both of us."
"Did he stop yelling?"
She laughed in remorse before finally opening her eyes, "No, my husband was as stubborn as they came. He yelled, I yelled. That went on right up until the moment the good Lord took him home."
"How do you live without your husband?" Tommy asked. He often thought of how he would feel if Jude was the one sick. The thought of having to go on without her broke his heart. He would be one of the stories he always heard on the news, dying of a broken heart.
"You just do," Tommy squeezed her hand a little tighter as she spoke, "It's really hard. We were married for a very long time, a lot of things shared. One day everything is normal only to have it ripped out from under you. I spent many days lying down numb before I found a way to make the hurt not hurt so bad."
"And that is?"
"I come here everyday," She smiled sadly at Tommy, "I decided I would volunteer to pass the time. It helps to make my days move along faster, while giving me the satisfaction of knowing I can help out around here. This doctors office became my home away from home when my husband was in his last stages of cancer--- I'm giving back."
"You are an incredible woman," Tommy spoke in awe.
Minutes passed by in silence as Tommy found his attention brought back to the paper resting on his lap. He had been writing down words before his friend took her seat. Aidan had been on his mind, as he always was, leaving Tommy with feelings and emotions he was trying to let out. He needed a way to leave something behind, a something that was from him to his son. Digging through his bag he retrieved a pen before he touched the tip to the paper, words and thoughts filling the lines.
"What are you working on honey?" Her soft voice questioned as more minutes passed by.
"Lyrics."
"Are you writing a song?" Her excitement filling her voice.
"I think," Tommy smiled as he found his gaze meeting hers, "Some thoughts about my son."
"Oh how precious," She touched her heart as she spoke, "Can I see?"
"Sure. Its rough but at least it's something."
She leaned over peering over his arm before reading out loud the first part, "To know you in a way, Only a father would know, To hold you in an embrace, Only a fathers love can show. To see your smile each day, Only a fathers hope could hold. So I ask this of you, one small wish---"
"I was thinking of putting a chorus here," Tommy scribbled down a few words before he read out loud, "Close your eyes, Count to three, Jump on board, Come away with me. The winds are right, our time is now, Water rippling, our time to sail.
She smiled before picking up the song with the next verse written, "To an unknown place, A new adventure to face. Pirates in the distance, headed our way. Prepared to fight, a captains race, Canons are launched, Battle shouts are cried. As I sit here and watch, my pride, I cannot hide."
"And then I was stuck," Tommy stated as he tapped the pen against his thigh.
"Wow, I really like it," She ran her fingers over the page before asking, "What made you think of pirates?"
Tommy laughed at the memory her question brought, "Long story."
"I have time darling."
Grinning Tommy faced her, "Yeah?"
"Of course."
"When I was six, I thought I was a pirate," He chuckled softly picturing himself as a little boy, "I only dressed in my pirate costume I had worn for Halloween. Months passed and I wore the getup every where I went. Even the eye patch. I made everyone call me "Captain Tommy.'"
"How sweet," She gushed, "Wish I had a picture of that."
"How embarrassing is more like it," Tommy teased, "I went to school dressed like a pirate, I had all my classmates call me by my new name, even the teacher. How I was never made fun of boggles my mind to this day."
She shook her head as a giggle escaped her lips, "Absolutely adorable."
Tommy shook his head again as he grinned, "That's where I thought up pirates. I guess passing a small memory of me along to my son."
"Beautiful. Really beautiful honey."
Before Tommy could reply one of the nurses who worked under Doctor Jacobson appeared in the doorway. Her gaze landed on Tommy's before she smiled in acknowledgement.
"Mr. Quincy?"
"Yes?" Tommy turned his attention to the nurse.
"The doctor will see you now."
"Thanks," Tommy answered.
He reached over picking up his carry bag. Sliding the paper and pen into the side pocket he grabbed for his cane. Slowly he edged his rear to the edge of the seat before carefully lifting himself into a standing position. After swinging the bag over his shoulder Tommy clutched tightly to the head of the cane, pushing his weight into it before taking a few steps towards the nurse.
Once he made it to the doorway he turned around to face his friend. She smiled at him. He found his lips curving upwards again. For a stranger she certainly made an impact on his life.
"I forgot to ask you what your name was," Tommy spoke.
"My name is Lucy."
"Lucy?" Tommy grinned, "As in, "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds?'"
Her face lit up at the mention of the song, "My husband loved the Beatles that was his nick name for me."
"I had a feeling," Tommy commented as he leaned more into his cane, "My wife was named after a Beatles song. Close to my heart as well."
Lucy smiled again before she spoke, "You take care now honey, and you let your beauty of a wife love on you."
"I will."
"Good."
"It was nice meeting you Lucy," Smiling her way for the last time Tommy left Lucy with another thought, "I hope I swept you off your feet Lucy… because right now after meeting you, my sky is full of diamonds."
