WARNING: strong language.

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: There were a few people that left reviews on the last chapter that I felt needed to be addressed. Some people did not like the fact that Rose came to terms with the bonding through torture. It was called abusive. I completely understand, but I did this on purpose. Soul Bonding is a curse. A curse usually means evil. There had to be harsh consequences, and Rose needed something this extreme to face her problems. I'm sorry if you don't like the method but this is how I planned it would go.

Thank you so much to SunriseImagination for Betaing this story for me. She makes my story better for you guys. Definitely, go check out her story.

And thank you to all of you that have taken the time to Favourite/Follow and review this story. You guys are so amazing and I love you all. Thank you! xoxo

Now on to the chapter!

Chapter 11

December 2nd

~oOo~

It was dark when she opened her eyes, much like when she had closed them. In fact, as Rose groggily looked around, she thought for a moment that no time had passed at all.

The moments before she fell asleep again were fuzzy. After she crashed in Malfoy's arms she had been awakened by just about everyone imaginable. Madam Pomfrey, Healer Lynde, her parents, family, and friends were all there, and it was all overwhelming. They all fussed for a while and most people were crying tears of joy to see Rose alive and well. Hermione appeared to be restraining herself from wrapping Rose in a hug and kissing her face over and over again.

Even Al looked like he wanted to cry. He had Lily clinging to his arm with tears streaking down her cheeks. Rose's friends were all huddled together relief evident on their faces.

After all the emotional crying and words were finished, Rose was forced to sit up and have about every test Madam Pomfrey could run on her. And after about an hour, the old nurse had declared that despite being a bit bruised and sore, there was nothing wrong with Rose and that all she needed now was to rest. She then ushered everyone out, telling them over and over that Rose needed her rest after what had happened and that they were only crowding her now. Hermione and Ron argued that they wanted to stay with her, but Rose had seen the dark circles under their eyes and knew that if they stayed they would not sleep. They left when Rose had assured them she was fine and that she would see them in the morning. She had then passed out from exhaustion on her pillow.

The hospital wing was quiet and peaceful now. Nothing appeared amiss, but Rose couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right. Glancing to her left Rose saw the soft light of what must be dawn coming through the windows.

So some time must have passed, though whether it was just the morning after passing out or days later she didn't know.

She moved, pushing herself up on her elbows and wincing at her sore muscles and throbbing headache. Everything hurt and she dreaded getting up. She felt oddly cold in that dim light room, even though the room itself was warm and Rose was covered in blankets.

Then why?...

Suddenly she froze, becoming aware of what was missing. Her breath catching and her heart beat rising alarmingly fast.

She felt herself start hyperventilating.

Scorpius, she thought desperately. Where was he? He wasn't there, he wasn't next to her like he should be.

Rose moved her eyes around the dim space, searching for the blonde boy she needed.

Her magic reached out, hunting for its other half, searching around her desperately. She did this almost automatically, knowing that she needed to see him, to make sure that the darkness hadn't gotten him too. And just as she was starting to freak out completely she found it, the soft steady beat. The sound filled her ears and Rose felt herself slump with relief. She closed her eyes and drank in the rhythm of his heartbeat so close to her.

He was alright, he hadn't left her. They were alright. Nothing bad had happened.

Looking to her right Rose squinted, searching the darkness for him. The torches were out, making the room so dark and in shadow. Even with the sun rising, its light was dismal at best. It took her a moment but she finally spotted his outline by the window just over from her.

He was sleeping, that much she could tell from his heartbeat, and the longer Rose looked the clearer she could see him. He was resting on the wide window sill, his back pressed against the side, one leg stretched out in front of him and the other dangling over the edge.

His face looked peaceful in the dim light of the rising sun and Rose felt calm at just the sight of him.

Sitting up slowly, Rose moved her legs over the edge of the bed. Trying to ignore the pain, she stood. She half expected her legs to give out under her but they held fast, if not a bit wobbly.

Rose moved deliberately, tentatively, around the next bed and over to the window that he sat at. As she walked toward him, she felt the pull to be closer; it was like a primal need, an instinct. She needed to be next to him, to feel his skin against hers. Even if it was simply holding his hand, the Bond was craving connection.

She was about six feet away when he opened his eyes. He turned his head, which was still leaning up against the stone and his gaze fell on her with a heaviness that startled her, making her falter in her step. Because they weren't sleepy or dull like one might expect after waking up, but bright and... glowing?

It must be the trick of the light Rose thought dimly.

He watched her as she walked over, his strangely bright eyes following her progress. He didn't say anything, not even a greeting as he moved his leg, pulling it up close to his body to make room for her on the ledge.

Rose sat down gently, careful not to jostle her already pounding head more. She stretched out her legs, almost touching his foot but deciding that she didn't want to intrude in his space any more than she already was. She tried to get comfortable on the stone ledge but found that it wasn't the ideal place to sit, let alone sleep.

Rose looked Scorpius over. He wasn't watching her anymore, rather he had turned his head to gaze out the window at the rising sun and how it cast brilliantly bright oranges and yellows into the dark blue sky. He had changed since she had last woken up, and was dressed simply in a pair of sweatpants and an old worn tee-shirt that looked like it had seen better days.

His hair looked sleep worn and tousled but his face held no sign of sleep at all. He still hadn't said a word and the silence was starting to bother Rose. They hadn't said much while everyone was there fussing and talking, and since Rose had passed out just after there hadn't been time for anything other than a quick,"You okay?"

Now though they had the whole wing to themselves and he was as quiet as the grave. Usually you couldn't shut this boy up, but here he was turned away from her watching the sunrise.

Rose was disoriented. She didn't know what day it was or how long she had been out. But more than that she wanted to know what was wrong with the blonde boy. The way he was just sitting there. It unnerved Rose deeply.

There was a tension in the room. A feeling that Rose didn't understand, it was cold and felt a little hostile, like an animal ready to strike. There was something wrong, very wrong with the way Scorpius was acting and though he had made space for her on the sill Rose got the feeling that he didn't really want her there. Knowing somehow that it was crossing some sort of invisible line but not knowing what else to do Rose spoke.

"Scorpius?"

The word, his name, his first name, rang oddly loud and unsure in the complete silence of the Hospital wing.

He made no move. The clock on the wall ticked the seconds by. Rose heard nothing but it and her own breathing. She was even a bit unsure whether he had heard her or not.

Tentatively, Rose tried again. "Scorpius, are you-" Rose faltered, uncertain.

"Scorpius are you alright?"

He turned at that and Rose shuddered slightly at his eyes. She had always found them so beautiful and alluring, so annoying filled with mischief but these... These eyes, well, they scared her just a little. She shivered at the brightness of the grey almost whiteness of them.

Something was wrong. Something was terribly terribly wrong.

He turned his head again to gaze out the window and Rose thought that he wouldn't answer her.

Then he did. "No, Weasley, I'm not alright."

His voice. Rose felt her throat tighten. It was low, gravely, and lacked the emotion that should have been there.

She shouldn't talk, this wasn't her place, he was dealing with his own things and Rose knew he didn't want her to interfere. But she had just woken up, and the memories of The Darkness were still fresh in her mind. There was one thing that stood out to her, bright and clear. They needed to talk.

"What is it?"

He was silent for a long moment, so long that Rose thought again that he may not respond, but then he did and his words cut more than the silence ever did.

"You, Rose... Just you."

Rose was taken aback, not knowing what he meant by that. Her mind flashed back to the way he had held her after she woke up, however long ago that was, the way he had promised everything was okay and that she would be alright.

She had thought that that was the start of their healing. Thought that when they did talk, that they would have a solid ground to start on.

But now it felt like there were on two very diffrent grounds. Taking a breath she prodded the hornets' nest again.

"What? Scorpius, look at me. What do you mean me? What happened?"

He trained those eyes on her again and Rose realized why his eyes were so bright.

He was crying.

She had never seen that before, she had never seen him cry. The wetness that made so many people's eyes red and puffy only made his brighter. She felt breathless with the realization.

And those wet eyes were hard as he ground out a word, "Don't."

His voice was stiff and strained. It was a warning, she knew the sound of a person on the edge of an explosion, but even though she knew she should get up and go back to her bed, leave this boy to his thoughts, she couldn't. Because that would mean that he would be alone and whatever was hurting him, even if it was her, would only dig its way in deep. Rose knew what it was like to hold ones feeling inside, all too soon it became impossible to even think about let alone talk about.

And Rose didn't want him to hold the pain inside. She didn't want him to hurt alone. Even if these feelings were all too foreign and strange to think about.

"But what's wrong?!"

His eyes sparked, "You want to know what's wrong? Fine. I'll tell you, Weasley. You broke me. You broke me and I don't know how to fix it!"

Rose's heart skipped a beat, she opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out she was so stunned, but it didn't matter, Scorpius was talking again, and now that he started it seemed that he wasn't going to stop.

"Do you know what you did to me, Rose?" His voice once low was rising, his eyes sparkling with tears and anger. "I tried, I tried so hard to respect your boundaries, to give you time to adjust. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, I knew how you felt about me, about this," he gestured between them, symbolizing the Bond, "but I thought that you were adult enough, hell responsible enough to deal with it, that you would accept what happened and that things would get easier." He stopped and took a breath, and a tear rolled down his cheek, whether from frustration or some other emotion Rose didn't know. "Instead you pushed me away. You didn't let me help you, you didn't let the Healer or Pomfrey help you. You weren't truthful with me when I asked you all those times if you were okay. You pushed me away and all but told me to fuck off. What the hell Rose? Why the fucking hell would you do this to yourself and me? It broke me to see you like that, over and over again in so much pain. Your mother almost had a mental breakdown, your family and friends worried about you for days, them sleeping in here just so that they could be close. Do you fucking care? I thought you had some sense!"

"Whether you give a fuck or not, I care about you Rose. I was in this. I was willing, hell I wanted to work this out. I tried so hard to just talk to you, to just get you to sit down and be honest with me for once. But you and your pride pushed me to the back corner. You looked at me like I was something nasty under your shoe when all I wanted was to work things out with you, to try and get on some sort of even ground."

He was breathing hard now and in one fluid motion he was off the ledge and standing a few feet away like he couldn't stand to be so close to her.

He ran both hands through his messed up hair, looking angry and confused. " I tried," He said softly, though he still sounded angry. " I worked so hard to try and figure out why you did this. Why the hell you would push me away and cause us both so much pain. Are you really that selfish? That prideful? Is this stupid feud that has been going on that important that you would risk your health, hell your life, to keep it going? I watched you day after day Weasley, watched you slowly get worse and worse and I tried, I wanted to help so fucking bad but every time I even thought about talking to you about it you closed me off completely. Why? You knew what was happening, you knew that doing what you did would cause something like this.-"

At that Rose cut in, standing to her feet, feeling her temper rise even in the misdst of all his truth.

"I knew no such thing Malfoy. If I had known what would happen I would have done things differently, you can't blame me for what I had no control over."

As she said it Rose knew that she had crossed the line. Malfoy's eyes bugged a little and his face grew red with anger.

"No control over it?! NO CONTROL!" He was yelling now, his anger getting the best of him. "Oh, of course, stupid me, I forgot that you had no control over what happened. Fucking hell Rose! You know as well as I do that this was your doing. Everyone tried to reach out to you and you shut them all down. You did this to yourself. You don't even realize… that you hurt me to do you? I felt physical pain Rose. Pain because you couldn't handle the fact that we are Bonded. Do you really find me that revolting? That appaling to be around that you would rather go to hell and back then to simply live with me?" He threw up his hands looking at her for an answer, and when she didn't give him one he shook his head.

He turned away from her, his back rising and falling with his quickened breaths.

Rose stood quietly, her eyes trained on his form. His words played over and over in her head focusing on the emotion he had put into them. Anger. Fear. And something else? Suddenly the morning sun poured through the window scattering the shadows and illuminating Malfoy in its warm golden light. That soft quiet moment led to an epiphany that would change her forever.

Scorpius Malfoy felt something for her. Something deeper than a few weeks of Soul Bonding could produce. He cared for her. Was it as friends or something deeper she didn't know, but it had to be the truth. Yes, he was angry and hurt by her actions, but he was also afraid. Afraid of losing her, afraid that they would never get along, and maybe afraid that she would never feel the same.

And Rose wanted to clear that fear away. She had been foolish. Her pride and resentment had only hurt herself and Malfoy. She wanted things to be better.

Rose closed her eyes and tried not to think of the things she had seen in The Darkness, but the images just kept coming back.

She had seen that all those years she could have had something real with him. He could have been her friend, kind and loyal throughout the years. He would have been a rock for her, made the bad times good and the good times better. And when the Soul Bonding happened, they could have transitioned from what they were, friends, to what they needed to be. It could have been easy, or easier at least

She could have loved him.

If she had taken his hand of friendship on the rickety old boat, they would have crossed the water together toward an adventure greater than either could have imagined.

He would have made Hogwarts home.

But she hadn't, and she had turned her back on what could have been some of the best years of her life.

Rose didn't know how to go back in time. She didn't know how to truly fix the past and the pain, but she now saw that she had to, because if she wanted any type of future she needed to fix the past.

"I don't find you revolting Scorpius," her gentle tone eased the tension in his shoulders so she continued, "I find you nothing of the sort. You are a good and kind person Scorpius, I know that. I have always known that. I know you tried and what I said came out all wrong. It was my fault. I see that now. What I should have said- what I need to say is I'm sorry. I am so sorry that I caused you pain. That was never my intention. And I am sorry that I pushed you away."

Rose took a breath knowing that the next few words would be hard, but they were the truth. Scorpius had been truthful with her and now she needed to do the same.

"I was scared," she admitted softly, "I was scared that if I let you in that you would hurt me, I know that's not fair, I know that you have done nothing to root that fear in me but it's there. I was-" Rose felt something wet slide down her cheek but made no move to wipe it away, "I was terrified of getting close to you Scorpius, even just on a talking base, because I knew if I did that I would let my guard down-" she was talking faster now her words spilling out without a filter. Scorpius turned slightly, not really looking back at her but she knew he was listening. "-that you would wiggle your way in with your charming smiles and your stupid jokes and your annoying way of always seeming sure of yourself. I was afraid-" Rose was terrified of what she was going to say next but it needed to be said, "-dammit, I was so afraid that you would work your way into my heart and that I wouldn't be able to get you out again."

Scorpius turned at that and his eyes were just as bright as before, but the anger had faded, leaving behind a kind of defeat.

"Please," Rose said softly, her hands clasping in front of her, "I didn't mean to hurt you Scorpius, I swear it but I didn't know what to do. I'm not good at these things, I don't trust people easily and it takes even more for me to care about them. And you being you I knew that if I didn't do something I would fall for you hard and I would not be able to get over it."

"Weasley." His voice was soft and just a little bit questioning.

Rose raised a hand, "I'm not in love with you Scorpius Malfoy. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that I pushed you away because I am scared. I'm scared that you'll hurt me, even now I can't help but think this will all backfire on me and I'll end up damaged beyond what I can fix. Does that make me insane? Does that make me unreasonable, to fear this when you have done nothing to hurt my heart? I don't know, but if it does then," Rose shrugged, "I can't help you, because this IS what I feel, and this is why I can't help but want to turn around and not even try. Because in my mind, this can go one of two ways, we can work all this out and we could be happy, or, I can let you in, I can let myself care about you and this doesn't work out and I'm left alone and in pain."

"Rose-"

"No, let me finish. If I don't say this all now I don't think I ever will." Scorpius nodded and Rose took a breath. "Even after all that I read and have been told about this Bond, I don't trust that we are absolutely meant to be. I can't. I'm not a romantic. I can't trust that we'll be okay just because we care about each other Scorpius. People fall apart even though they love each other, what's to say that we'll be different? Who's to say that if I let you in that if we develop feelings for each other that it won't all fall apart in the end? I can't do that Scorpius. I can't fall for you only to have you ripped from my hands, because I know my heart and I won't recover from that. Can you guarantee that if I let you close to me that you won't burn me? Can you? Because I can't."

Scorpius was silent for a moment, his eyes regarding her and the words she spoke. Rose thought he might turn away, his eyes gave away nothing that he felt. Rose thought that her words hadn't been good enough, she thought that sorry wouldn't be enough for all she had done. And sadly she understood that. She didn't expect him to forgive her or tolerate her anymore.

Just as Rose was giving up hope, he stepped forward. Before Rose knew what was happening he had her face in his hands and he was looking into her eyes. Her breath caught and she felt herself start to freak out that he was going to do something stupid like kiss her.

But he didn't, his hold was soft, only nudging her to look at him.

"Rose," He said gently, all anger gone, all his accusations forgotten in this new light, "You know I can't promise something like that-" Rose opened her mouth to say something but Scorpius shushed her, "It's my turn." He continued, "I can't promise that it will all be okay, that we will always be good, that you won't want to kill me sometimes," That got a small smile from her, "Or that I won't want to smother you with a pillow at times. I can't promise that we won't hurt each other, or that we will stay close. No one can promise that. I'm not a seer, I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but I can promise to take care of you. To be there when you need me. To help you. I can promise that the time we do have can be great if you let it be. I get that you are apprehensive about this all, but Rose you can't just let that control your life. That's not how it works and I know you know that."

"You're a smart girl Rose Weasley, I think you'll be okay no matter what happens. Take a chance, trust me even just a little won't you? That's all I want. You don't have to break down your walls, but let me at least see the city behind, even from a distance. I'll accept that for now, we'll go at your pace and take things slow. What do you say? Want to give this a go?"

Rose looked up at this boy. This boy that's promising her nothing but his heart. Nothing but himself and the future, whether it be good or bad and found herself taking it. She knew that if this didn't work that he would back away, he would give her what she needed, space and time. He would never pressure her into something she didn't want. Even after all the pain she had caused, he still cared. What else could she do but accept? He was hers and she had to at least try, or she would never forgive herself.

She found herself wrapping her arms around him and just holding him. His arms were quick to hold her, and something deep within Rose released at the feel of him around her. This was right, she was making the right decision. Because even if this all went up in flames she had tried and that was all she could do.

"Alright," She whispered softly.

He chuckled and she felt his satisfaction through their strengthening bond. She pulled back slightly and looked up at him, smirking.

"But before you get any ideas Malfoy, I want us to just be friends."

He lifted an eyebrow and smirked, his hand drifting a little lower on her back in a cheeky manner, "Just friends huh?"

Rose shoved him away playfully, grinning softly. "Yes, friends. It's a start, we'll see where it goes from there."

Scorpius's own smile grew soft, "Rose Weasley, friend of Scorpius Malfoy." He tilted his head back, pretending to be pondering something dramatic, "You know what? I like the sound of that."

He threw his arm around her shoulders and together they walked back to their beds.

Rose smiled, "I think I do too."