Lyrics are- The Mixed Tape by Jacks Mannequin
By Hailz98
:Disclaimer, i do not own any of the Harry Potter Charaters or the lyrics in this story:


Ronald Weasley sat in the common room of his dorm. He had just woken up from another restless night of sleep, thinking of her. Lately it seemed like he could never get more then a few hours of half awake sleep since the accident.
This is morning
that's when I spend the most time

It wasn't really an accident. Lord Voldemort had meant to trick her into leaving the castle and had meant to kill her. It got harder and harder for Ron to think about every time.

Thinking 'bout what I've given up
this is a warning

He couldn't help but think it was his fault. If only he had went with her on that walk…out of bounds…after hours…instead of letting her go on her own. He should have insisted he go, what was he thinking? He was such an idiot.

When you start the day just to close the curtains
you're thinking 'bout what I've given up

It was suddenly like life wasn't worth living anymore with her gone. Harry had left school to go find Voldemort the morning after the funeral, not allowing Ron to go with. So now Ron was all alone. He took a deep sigh and switched on the small muggle radio Hermione had given him last Christmas.

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?

Ron hoped she was happy wherever she ended up, but he wanted desperately to be with her. They had just proclaimed their love for one another just a few short months before. They had confessed it in the most intimate way they ever could. She loved him and he loved her but now she's left him with only memories. He changed the over happy song to something more morbid.

As I rearrange the songs again
this mix could burn a hole in anyone
but it was you I was thinking of

He couldn't stop thinking of her. It was like his mind was a broken record, constantly replaying visions of that night. All their sweetly exchanged kisses and when he put his hand to pull of her shirt, she had let him. They softly fell onto his bed together, rolling around in the sheets as the night progressed.

I read your letter
the one you left when you broke into my house
retracing every step you made

When he had woken up the next morning she was gone, and the rest of the boys were in their beds. There was a letter where her head had rested only hours ago.

And you said you meant it
It stated that everything she had send and done the night before was real and that she loved him with all her heart. He still had that letter. He read it every day, always bringing him to tears.

And there's a piece of me in every single
Second of every single day
but if it's true then tell me how it got this way

The morning they found her body by the lake, he read the letter for the first time since the night she left it. He screamed in his rage, throwing everything he could grab, crying hysterically, clutching the letter in his hands. Harry tried to calm him down but Ron had responded by yelling, "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? HOW COULD SHE LEAVE ME, HARRY? HOW? WE LOVED EACH OTHER! SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR ME!" and Harry didn't know how to respond.

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?

He faintly heard some of the lyrics around his thoughts of her as he sat there. The tears started to well up again.

As I rearrange the songs again
this mix could burn a hole in anyone
but it was you I was thinking of

He quickly changed the song once more to divert his thoughts from allowing the tears to fall. But he couldn't get her out of his head. He never could.

And I can't get to you
I can't get to you
I can't get to you

He felt that with each passing day, her memory faded further and further. That no matter how hard he tried to reach for her, the thoughts and days they spent together became less and less detailed in his mind.

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I conduct a symphony of sound
Where are you now?

He could never stop thinking about her; sometimes it was like she was still there, in front of him. Ready to start yelling at him for something stupid he did, then he'd blink and she'd be gone..

As I'm cutting through you track by track
I swear to God this mix could sink the sun
but it was you I was thinking of

Every song just made it hurt more and more. He couldn't take it anymore. He knocked the radio off the table. It hit the ground, sputtered a few last morphed lyrics and it became quiet. Ron got up and headed to the bathroom. He needed to find his relief.

And where are you now?
And where are you now?
He would find Hermione the only way he knew. As he looked through the cabinets, he found what he was looking for, His razor. He rolled up his sleeves to reveal all the raw marks of cut up skin; he brought it down fast and hard across his life-line.
And this is my mixed tape for her
it's like I wrote every note
with my own fingers


A/N: My first songfic, hoped you all liked. reveiws are loved! -Hailz