Chapter 1

"She's gone into cardiac arrest and bleeding internally." The male nurse next to Landon Carter announced. Landon's heart was racing and he was beginning to sweat. It was his first operation with him doing the surgery not just observing. The actual surgeon was ill so Landon newly qualified had to take over.

Landon was frozen. This was not supposed to happen. These types of operations were basic, yet he was suddenly terrified. He was faintly aware of the seconds slipping by. The male nurse said loudly, "Doctor Carter, he's arrested and bleeding."

Landon looked up and blinked. You can do it. He heard. "What?" he whispered. You can do it Landon, have faith.

Jamie? Landon thought. Is that you?

Yeah, she replied. Four years have passed and you haven't forgotten me.

I think about you every day, he thought. But why have you come now?

This patient is dying Landon, it's his time.

I have to save him, Jamie it's what I do as a doctor –

I know that but you let me go, so let him go.

You were different. He thought.

How? Because we were in love?

I'm still in love with you only I can't see you. But I can see you in my dreams. He could almost sense her smiling.

You have to decide, Landon, but God's expecting him.

Jamie – he looked up, seeing another movement. For a split second he saw her. Jamie. She had not been solid of course, but she had been there. And then she was gone.

"Doctor!" the nurse said loudly. "We need to charge!"

"Have you asked the family? Did his file read DNR?"

"I – I'm not sure -"

"Well then get someone to check!" Landon told him.

The nurse sped out the room. The other nurses were looking at him curiously. Landon ignored them. Thirty seconds later the nurse returned, looking embarrassed. "He has no next of kin and his file does read DNR."

Landon nodded at this and glanced at his watch. "Time of death, 5.50pm. he switched off the monitors and started the stitching. The nurse hovered behind him. "A piece of friendly advice," Landon said. "Breathing down a doctor's neck in surgery is distracting whether the patient is alive." The nurse nodded and rushed out of the operating theatre.

Half an hour later Landon's shift was over and he was sitting in his car, engine running, but the handbrake still on. He was resting his head in his hands and looked up when there was a knock on the window. He wound it down. "Landon, hi," It was a fellow doctor of his and she waved. "Hi Rose." Landon replied vaguely.

"Want to go for a drink?" she asked. "Coffee?"

"Uh, sorry," he said, trying to say it meaningfully. "I have paper work to catch up on."

"Oh," she said, trying not to sound too disappointed. He had the feeling she had a crush but wasn't in the mood for flirting. He had not been in the mood for four years since Jamie died. "Never mind. Another time maybe. See you around Carter." And she walked off. She shook back her long dark brown hair as she got into her car and drove off. He remained where he was but then pushed down the handbrake and pulled out, driving home. He lived in a medium sized modern apartment, just on the edge of town. The drive felt like forever but when he looked at the car clock it had only taken him fifteen minutes. He sighed when he turned into the drive and stopped the car. He got out, taking his briefcase with him. He was in such a daze from earlier it took him longer than usual to put his key in the lock. He climbed the stairs, shutting the door quietly behind him. When he got into his apartment he slumped down onto his extremely comfortable, sky blue sofa with dark blue cushions. Landon's gaze fell onto a photo in a white photo frame of him and Jamie at age seventeen, their age when she died. She still looked healthy and as beautiful as ever, sitting next to him at the park. His head was rested on hers, his arm around her. They both looked happy. That year when he had fallen in love with her was the happiest he had felt in his life. Next to that photo frame was another of their wedding. Jamie in her wedding dress, holding her bouquet of flowers, holding hands with himself in his suit. His father was standing next to him, hers on the other side. They all looked happy.

"Jamie," Landon said quietly. "Are you there?"

A cushion flew off the sofa next to a book case at the other end of the room. He took that as a yes. "Can you let me see you?" A moment after he asked, Jamie appeared before him, in colour, but translucent. She was in a white gown and looked like an angel. She knelt before him. "Landon," she said, her voice echoing. Apart from the echo it sounded like her. "I can't stay for too long, it drains my energy. But I'm here now."

"I've missed you," Landon said sadly. He reached to touch her hand but his own went straight through. She looked down sadly, wishing she could hold his. Landon's hand went cold as his hand passed through. He withdrew it and gazed into her face. "You look like an angel. Like that night at the school play."

She smiled sadly. "Thank you for letting the patient go today."

"I still have faith in your guidance," he told her.

"God is thankful to you."

"Tell Him anytime," Landon said seriously. "You helped me believe in Him. I always knew you watched over me. I could feel it."

"I'm glad," she said. "Listen, one of the reasons I was sent down was not only to help you and renew your faith but was to warn you."

"What? What's wrong?" he asked.

"Trials and suffering are coming, but you have to pull through."

"I've already been put through trials and suffering. Jamie, that's not fair -"

"Landon, you have to go through this, it's part of life." She insisted. At the look on his face she said, "Do it for me."

"Who will die?" he swallowed.

"It's a way to test your faith. No matter what do not give up, everything will be fine if you believe it will."

Landon was about to speak, but she said. "I have to go,"

"I love you," Landon said, he reached out to touch her again, but then remembered he wouldn't be able to.

"I'll be watching. Don't give up…"

Landon watched painfully as she faded away. "Anything for you," he whispered and did not hold back the tears, burying his head in a cushion.