To all of you that read this I have something exciting to tell you. For the next few days leading up to Christmas I will be posting chapters for you each day. This is both a way to make up for the slow posting and a way to say thank you for all the wonderful reviews and for all of you that have stuck by this story.
I hope you like it.
BIG Thank You to SunriseImagination for Betaing this story for me. She makes my story better for you guys. Definitely, go check out her and her story.
And thank you to all of you that have taken the time to Favourite/Follow and review this story. You guys are so amazing and I love you all. Thank you! xoxo
Now on to the chapter!
Chapter 18
December 18th
Wednesday
~oOo~
The cloud of smoke floated upwards as he breathed out, blowing out slowly. He watched as it twisted in the air, turning into a crow then a lion before disintegrating. He took another drag before dropping his hand to rest on his bent knee.
Reaching out with the hand not holding the cigarette, James nudged the tip of his wand at the blue fire in front of him, causing the flames to grow slightly, warming the frigid air around him to a more comfortable temperature.
He sat with his back up against a rocky overhang, the black lake stretched out in front of him, it's murky waters gently swishing up onto the pebbly shore.
The stars shone bright and clear in the sky, not a cloud to be seen. The moon was waning, barely a sliver. There was not a sound that night besides the few night critters that dared to venture out into the cold snow. All was still and silent.
James stared out at the lake, at the glassy smoothness, the way it reflected the castle.
This, the small overhang of rocks on the far side of the lake, hidden by trees and almost impossible to see if you didn't know it was there, was his place. The place he came when he needed to think or just wanted to be alone.
He had come here a lot over the past two years. He had found it in second year, but had never really frequented it until last year. The first time he had come out here in the middle of the night to stare at the lake, smoke and think had been the night Will had kissed him for the first time.
James could remember it like it was yesterday and a shiver ran down his spine at the memories. He didn't want to remember but there was no stopping the onslaught of images.
There had been a party that night, a large noisy one that somehow went on under the radar of the teachers. James had shown up in his leather jacket, skinny jeans and blue tee shirt ready to drink and dance. But he had gotten more than he had bargained for that night.
He had seen him across the room, downing a shot, laughing and grimacing at the taste. James had found himself pausing and taking a breath at how hot he looked in his black jeans, tan hoodie and jean jacket.
He had forced himself to look away, to not stare. But by then Will had already gotten under his skin. They had known each other for too long for him not to have. James had wanted Will for too long.
And that night he hadn't been able to stop himself.
He had forced himself not to look at Will or talk to him, to avoid him at all costs. And it had worked. Until he had gotten too drunk to think straight, too sloshed to know what he was doing would cause pain.
But then he had looked over and there he had been, blue eyes, full lips, soft perfect hair and James had given in.
He had walked up to Will, grabbed his wrist and pulled him from the party, out past the dark hall and into a secluded classroom. He had attacked Will with his lips the minute they were inside. And Will hadn't made a sound, hadn't protested being dragged away, hadn't asked where they were going. He had just followed and when James had kissed him, he had kissed back with just as much force.
It was like they had both been trying so hard not to kiss each other that the moment they had their guards down that was the first thing they did. It had been sloppy and drunken and they had ended up on the floor. James couldn't remember most of what had happened only that it had.
And that it had been good. Even drunk, it had been so good.
He had lain on that classroom floor for what seemed like hours after, staring at the ceiling, his muddled brain trying to figure out what he had just done. Will had lain beside him, again not saying anything. At some point, Will had fallen asleep, leaving James awake and confused.
He hadn't stayed long after Will crashed, he barely even remembered making the decision to get up and move. All he knew was one minute he had been in the classroom and the next he was walking along the edge of the Black Lake. He had made his way to his place easily enough after that. James had found his cigarettes that he kept there and had sat in his place until the sun rose and then a little bit after that too.
This place, the overhang of rocks had become his spot.
And nearly two years later he was still sitting there, smoking and thinking about Will.
James let out a dry chuckle at that thought. When would he ever learn? When would he ever grow up?
But then a thought hit him that made his smile drop and made him take a long drag of his cigarette. This time the smoke formed into a darker shape, looking like a dragon with bared fangs.
Maybe he had grown, maybe he had learned and maybe Will had been a vital, unerasable part of that.
Maybe Will would forever be the cause of the aching in his chest. Maybe he had found someone that he was meant to grow with, like two trees winding together. Someone he was never meant to be apart from. That tearing them apart would kill them both. Maybe he was destined to forever be the boy by the lake, thinking about the boy with the blue eyes and he would never grow again.
But if he fought it, he would become gnarled and ugly, scared and scraped, never again whole. And each branch would forever hold a place for the ones that used to intertwine with them.
~oOo~
"I think I need a haircut."
Pausing in the middle of brushing her teeth Rose looked over at Scorpius, raising an eyebrow at this sudden declaration. It was late, they were both in the middle of getting ready to go to sleep. He was standing next to her at the bathroom sink, frowning at the mirror in front of him, tugging on a piece of his long hair.
It had been growing out for a while now. The last time Rose could remember seeing it freshly cut was at the beginning of summer. His white-blond hair fell over his ears. It wasn't shoulder length yet, but it was close.
Instead of trying to reply with a mouth full of toothpaste, Rose finished brushing her teeth.
Scorpius looked at her in the mirror as she wiped her mouth. "It could use a cut," she agreed.
His frown deepened as he brushed his hands through his hair. Rose watched as the soft strands fell back into place.
"Yeah, but I think I want something different. I've had the same hairstyle for a while now. I'm getting a little sick of it."
Rose hummed and hopped up on the countertop to see him better, ignoring the knee brushing against his leg. "What are you thinking then?"
He turned his head this way and that, pushing his hair and messing it up, staring at the different looks he created. "Short, I think. On the sides at least. I definitely need to get it trimmed shorter on top but I like having long hair."
Rose frowned, "So like an undercut?"
At the blank look she got from Scorpius, Rose laughed. "It means that it's cut short on the sides but to top is left longer. Here, it'd look something like this." Rose scooted in front of him on the counter and started running her fingers through his hair. It was soft and smooth, almost mesmerizing to touch. Rose worked with it for a moment until she had brushed most of the hair on the sides of his head back, leaving the top loose. "Of course this is not really an accurate representation of what it would look like but it's close enough. What do you think?"
Looking down from his hair Rose stilled as she was meet by incredibly close stormy grey eyes. Her breathing hitched and she cursed herself. She had put herself in a rather provocative position. Her hands up in his hair, shifting her body closer, her legs spread so that he was standing between them. All that was needed was for him to grab her waist and pull her closer to complete the picture.
The look on his face was unreadable, the rest of his body tense and uneasy.
She blushed furiously. What had she been thinking?
"Urm. Sorry." She muttered, immediately turning away. Her feet made no sound as she moved to stand, putting a few feet between them.
Scorpius cast his eyes down, not meeting her gaze. Rose tilted her head a little as she looked at him, noting his expression. If she didn't know better she'd say he looked disappointed. "No, it's fine. You just surprised me is all."
There was a moment of silence. The air was thick with embarrassment and discomfort. The space between them now seemed impossibly large.
Dammit, Rose thought bitterly to herself. It was like she couldn't do anything right anymore. The last two days Scorpius had been withdrawn and awkward.
After spending all day watching him mope, she blurted out that whatever she had said or done to make him mad at her or uncomfortable she hadn't meant it. That she was sorry.
He had looked so startled, so taken aback Rose had wanted to smile. And she had, when the relief of his next words had hit her system, Rose had smiled. He had shaken his head and said that he should be the one apologizing, that she had done nothing wrong. That he had just been in a mood. This was followed with a badly aimed joke at himself.
She shook herself. Ok so she had made it awkward again, but that didn't mean she had to let it continue to be.
She suddenly smiled, "Come on."
Scorpius looked up at her and his brows furrowed at the outstretched hand she offered.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
Rose just continued to smile at him, "You'll see. Take my hand."
He hesitated for the briefest of moments, giving her an are-you-serious look. There was caution in his eyes and he appeared undecided. Rose continued to hold her hand out to him, her smile turning softer as she waited patiently for him. She saw the moment when he made his decision. Suddenly the playful impulsive Scorpius she was used to was back. He took her outstretched hand with a cheeky smirk, his warm hand clasping tightly around her own.
And with that Rose tugged him out of the bathroom.
~oOo~
Rose watched Scorpius's eyebrows rise as item after item was tossed or placed in front of him.
"And you're sure you know what you're doing?"
Mary chuckled lightly behind him, her smile wide. "I've worked with my mom in the Salon my whole life Malfoy. I know how to cut hair."
"Yeah, but guys hair?"
Mary shrugged behind him as she placed another tool on the counter. "I do mostly cut woman's hair but I have done some guys hairstyles and I have had professional training so I get the general gist." When Scorpius didn't look reassured, Mary smirked. "Don't worry, your hair is safe with me. It is an easy style that I've done before."
They were in the sixth year girl's dorms now. Scorpius sat in the middle of the room in an armchair. In front of him was a desk which Mary was using to place her tools on. A mirror sat floating just behind the desk, giving Scorpius a clear view of himself and Mary who was bustling around behind him.
Rose was lying on her stomach on her old bed, arms propped up behind her head, her feet kicking back and forth in the air. Her eyes were trained on the display in front of her. She smirked as Scorpius met her eyes in the mirror and he gave a playful glare back as if to say, why have you done this to me.
"So this charm you talked about," Mary looked at Scorpius in the mirror at his hesitant question, "Are you are sure that it'll work? You won't touch me?"
Mary shook her head, raising her hands and showing him the faint blue light that pulsed around them. "It's a foolproof charm Malfoy. Just like a pair of gloves, but better. It makes it so I'm not actually touching you by putting a small amount of air between us. When I do this," she reached out and touched his shoulder, smiling wider when he didn't flinch in pain, "I'm not actually touching you because to charm keeps us separate by that small amount of space."
"Why have you never told me about that before?" Rose asked from her place behind them.
Mary shook her head, "I just didn't think about it. There's been no need for me to have contact with you. Would it have helped you if I had?"
Rose shrugged, "I suppose not, but it would be nice not to have to tiptoe around people."
"You know it only really works on your hands right? It's a glove charm, not a space suit charm. Though that would be cool." Rose just shook her head at Mary as the girl threw a teasing grin over her shoulder.
The girl turned back to Scorpius and clapped her hands, rubbing them together with a giddy look. "Alright, now let's get started."
It took about two hours. The undercut didn't take too long but the top did. Mary would make a cut and then ask if he wanted something shortened or trimmed. Rose dozed off somewhere along the line, her head resting on her arms, her legs falling to the mattress.
~oOo~
Scorpius glanced at the bed in the mirror, smirking when he saw a passed out mess of curls.
"She's down for the count," he commented softly causing Mary to look up.
The girl smiled fondly as she turned her head to look behind her at Rose. "She must be exhausted. She never just falls asleep like that."
Scorpius sighed, crossing his ankles and getting a little more comfortable while Mary wasn't cutting his hair. "Yeah, she's been staying up late into the night. I don't know why. I don't think she knows that I know she isn't really sleeping. She gets uptight when she thinks I notice things like that." He sighed again, closing his eyes, "It's frustrating. She won't let me worry about her or ask questions about how she's doing. It's gotten better since her collapse but she's still withdrawn. Cautious about everything."
He opened his eyes, meeting Mary's gaze in the mirror. The girl was giving him an odd knowing look.
"What?" Scorpius asked, frowning at her.
Mary just shook her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Nothing it's just," she tilted her head, "you really care about her don't you?"
It sounded like a question but judging by the look in her eyes it wasn't really one. Scorpius sighed again, running a hand down his face. "That obvious?"
Mary shook her head again, going back to work on his hair. "No, not really. Well," she paused, smirking at him in the mirror, "at times it is but I think you have to know it's there to really see it."
Out of the corner of his eye, Scorpius watched pieces of hair drift down through the air. "How did you know?"
Mary smiled as she continued to snip at his white blonde hair. "I think it's because I've been around Rose enough to see when a guy is interested in her. But maybe it's really because I wanted there to be something."
Scorpius frowned at her, "What do you mean?"
She glanced at him before looking back to her hands, "You're a good guy Scorpius, not to mention attractive." He smirked at her in the mirror, getting a knowing smile back, "You're Albus's best friend, you've known Rose since you were eleven, you've both had this bickering thing going on for years which sometimes seemed more like playful banter. Call me a romantic but I thought you two would be so cute together."
"But we were always fighting? How would that make us cute together?"
Mary shook her head, "Maybe I just wished it into existence, but you've always seemed like a good pair. your personalities complement each other. You're impulsive, she over thinks things. You can make Rose do things that she would never normally do. She can make you consider the consequences before you leap. She is intuitive while you sometimes overlook obvious things right in front of you." She smirked at his glare, "As I said, you balance each other out. Rose needs to learn to live a little, you need to learn when to stop playing around. It's an art. Plus you may be the only bloke Albus will ever let near Rose."
Scorpius smiled at that last bit, "I just may be."
"So," Mary said, running her hand through his hair to look at what she had just cut, "The real question is, when are you going to tell Rose you have feelings for her?"
Scorpius paused, swallowing at the intense look Mary was giving him. He shook his head, "I don't- I can't- Just it isn't a good time Mary. Rose is still on edge about all this, she's still getting used to being normal around me. How can I go throwing my feelings in?"
Mary frowned, going back to cutting, "I get that Scorpius, but I don't think hiding it from her is a good idea. She would rather people just say how they are feeling, which is kinda hypocritical because she has a bad habit of withdrawing and cutting people off when they get too close." She sighed and looked back up at him, "But she is trying. Give her time and she will come around completely."
Scorpius shook his head, "be that as it may I don't think she'll be okay with this. She obviously doesn't feel the same."
Mary snapped her head up and stared at him harshly in the mirror, "why on earth would you say that?"
He blinked at her a few times, "Mary she's hated me for most of the time I've known her! She's only now warming up to me and even still she's made it very clear that she just wants to be friends. She's still holding me at arm's length. We get too close and she freaks out. You should have seen her before coming here, she completely pushed me away! That is not a girl who has feelings. Or would be alright with me having feelings."
Mary was giving him that knowing look again. "What?!"
She shook her head, "Nothing."
"Mary."
She laughed lightly, making sure not to be too loud as not to wake the sleeping redhead, "This is not something I can really help you with Scorpius, I've said all that I can. You and Rose need to figure out your own crap. You don't need me."
"But you know something." He accused, narrowing his eyes at her.
Again she shook her head, "I do, but that is because I'm good at picking things up. Plus, I'm on the outside of this mess. I don't have a million thoughts and feelings to sift through before I figure things out.
"Can't you just tell me?"
"Nope," She popped the word, making it sound far too childish and playful.
Scorpius glared, "If you didn't still have half my head to do I'd walk away from you right now."
Mary laughed.
~oOo~
A warm hand gently shook her shoulder waking Rose up. She turned slowly onto her side, blinking sleepy eyes up at her waker. She stilled though when her eyes fell on Scorpius's face.
God, he's hot. Was the first thing Rose thought, her wide eyes staring up.
Scorpius had had the same hairstyle for a long time now, Rose had never seen it be anything other than varying lengths of white blonde. Now though. God. Rose felt her face warm for no particular reason other than how bloody attractive the man in front of her was.
His handsome angular face, his high cheekbones, his straight nose, everything about his face seemed amplified by the haircut. The sides were clipped short just like he wanted it and the top was styled like he had just gotten off a broom and ran his hands through it.
God, Rose thought again, this is so unfair.
"What do you think?" Scorpius asked, smirking.
Rose narrowed her eyes at him. He knew he was hot, even though he was playing it innocent now.
She sat up. "Looks good," was all that she trusted herself to say.
We're just friends, we're just friends. She kept repeating in her head. But he is so hot. Said a little annoying voice in the back of her mind.
There was a loud snort from her right and both she and Scorpius looked over. Mary glanced at them in the mirror as she cleaned up her stuff, smirking, "He looks hot Rose. We all know it, don't act like he isn't."
Rose glared while Scorpius chuckled, his smirk growing all the wider. "Why thank you, Alcott. You're not so bad yourself."
Rose elbowed him in the stomach, feeling the twinge in her own side. So worth it, she thought.
Mary just shook her head at them. "It's late. I hate to be the responsible one," Rose snorted her agreement to that, "but we have early classes tomorrow. Better be getting back to your dorm."
Rose stood, grabbing her coat from the bed, "Thanks, Mar." She gave her friend a smile, moving over and giving the girls still charmed hand a squeeze.
Mary just smiled back, "No problem, Ro. Honestly, I should be thanking you, it's been far too long since I got the chance to cut hair. It felt good. Maybe you'll want a change too sometime?"
Rose chuckled at the hopeful hint to the question. Mary had been wanting to get her hands on Rose's hair forever, "I don't think so Mar, I like my hair the way it is."
The blonde girl sighed dramatically, "a girl can try."
"Night."
"Night," Mary called after them, a smile lingering on her face as the door to the dorm shut softly.
"That took bloody well forever." Came the muffled voice of Ashley from behind her curtains. "Next time, no late night haircuts."
"Of course Ash my darling." Mary chuckled before flicking her wand and turning out the lights.
