Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men or anything associated with them…
A/N: ROMY chapter! Don't hate me, but it's an angsty chapter for our couple. Come on...you had to have expected that, right?
Chapter 23: Goodbye, Love
It was just before dawn when the group returned to the manor with the necklace. Their adventure was finally over and soon they would be able to begin the next phases of their lives. Kitty and Piotr would buy their own ship and sail together, while Kurt would join Rogue and Wanda on the Anna Marie. Remy…Well, Rogue wasn't sure what was in their future, if they even had a future.
Remy and Piotr had left for the beach to ready the ships for their departure in the evening, while Rogue sat in her room holding the necklace in her hands and rubbing her fingers over the gem. It was truly a magnificent piece of craftsmanship. No wonder Erik wanted the artifact. Suddenly, the necklace began to radiate an odd warmth. The sensation spread across her chest until the warmth had imbued her, made her drowsy. She closed her eyes, drifted…
It was light as day. She was looking at a small boy, Christian, and he was perched in the crow's nest of a great galleon. She saw crew members busily working and singing sea chants, while the vessel skimmed easily through the gentle waters. The ship was strange to her, larger than the Anna Marie and just as grand. She was dreaming and awake at the same time. She felt ecstatic, better than she'd ever felt. But what was happening? What was she seeing? Remy was walking along the bow of the ship with a beautiful baby girl in his arms. She was smiling up at him and laughing at all the activity around her. Remy turned and graced Rogue with a smile that made her heart stop.
With a bright flash of light, the ship and Remy were gone, and Rogue saw herself with Belladonna in a dark room crowded with men…a tavern. Belladonna wore a blue satin shirt and tight black breeches. Oddly, she suddenly knew Bella would be the cause of more problems in her future, but she also knew that the worst was yet to come. It was as if it had already happened.
She noticed that Bella held something in her hands. It was a golden locket with the LeBeau crest on the front. Bella laughed evilly and as suddenly as she had appeared, she was gone, and Rogue was now holding the locket in the rain. Standing next to her was Christian and a small girl. They were holding her tightly and crying. Her friends were there as well and Kurt was reciting words as he looked out over the stormy sea from the deck of that great galleon. Rogue scanned the group, but Remy was not there, and she felt a sudden wave of loneliness and despair. It was if something had ripped her heart from her chest…a debilitating pain. The scene wavered, and Rogue's pain compounded and grew to rage. She heard Wanda's voice: Gone. He's gone, Rogue.
But the outrage she felt was cut short as another flash of light appeared and the scene changed. She was talking to Remy's Stormy. Ororo was excited, telling her she must do something. She had to act fast. But what was she supposed to do? Then Belladonna was facing her. She raised a gun and pointed it at Rogue's heart. She fired.
The light again. Another scene manifested, and this time the images came at her fast and hard. She glimpsed a gorgeous woman dressed all in white in an office crammed with books. She spoke in a tone of voice that inferred authority. "Do not believe all that you see, dear. Everything is not as it appears. Listen to your heart."
Then the woman dissolved. When she solidified again, she was Bella. She raised her gun, and fired.
A flash of light, and as it faded Rogue saw herself standing in a courtyard watching Christian playing with that same small girl. She couldn't hear their words, but she knew they loved each other and she loved them. Suddenly, the courtyard faded; she was on the beach of a small island embracing a man. She couldn't see his face, but she knew she was close to him like no other man.
Then the man was gone. Bella again…aiming…she fired.
Another flash and yet another scene. Rogue saw herself again, older now. She looked beautiful, more adventurer than captain. The vision winked out and was replaced by a collage of images: jungles, deserts, ruins, storms, relics of power. More ominous now: a noose, a close-up of an insignia of a black X, a hand bearing a dagger, but another offering help. A voice overlaid the images: "Adventures beyond imagining, but not without serious danger. Ultimately, there is a chance for love of the strongest kind, if you are brave enough to accept. Whatever you seek, you will find."
The changing scenes vanished as a harsh light struck her. Rogue squinted her eyes against the light. She was on her bed, still gripping the strange necklace.
Rogue felt numb, overwhelmed, unable to speak. She blinked her watery eyes, as her head began to clear. The dream, the fantasy, whatever had happened to her, was over. She tried to concentrate on what was real, here, and now.
There was a knock on her door. "Rogue? Can I come in?"
"Sure, Kitty. Come on it."
Kitty entered the room and sat on the bed next to Rogue. She noticed the distant look that lingered in Rogue's eyes and the beads of sweat on her forehead. "What happened? Are you alright?"
Rogue opened her mouth, but didn't speak right away. "Ah'm not really sure. It all happened so fast."
"What?" Kitty asked with a frown.
"Ah was just holdin' this necklace and started seein'…Ah don't even know what Ah was seein'! Ah was standin' at the helm of a ship, but it wasn't the Anna Marie. Remy and Christian were there and it all felt so right. Then Bella was everywhere and it started ta rain. Chris was cryin' and Wanda kept sayin' 'He's gone.' Ah…Ah felt so…so lost and lonely. Ah've never felt so helpless, Kitty."
Rogue hugged herself and shivered. Her hair fell over one side of her face. "It felt so real."
Kitty put an arm over her friend's shoulder and gave her a small hug. "I'm sure it was nothing. You've had an exhausting day and it's probably just catching up, Rogue. And we're getting close to the end of this…you aren't maybe feeling a little nervous about Remy, are you?"
Rogue shook her head. "No. There's somethin' strange about this necklace. Ah don't want ta see any more, Kitty." Rogue pulled out her leather pouch and dropped the necklace inside. "What if all those things Ah saw actually happen? Ah don't think Ah can handle that much pain. Ah…"
Kitty wrapped her arms around Rogue and hugged her tightly. She'd never seen her friend so uncertain before and it worried her. "Don't worry, Rogue. I'm sure that you were just dreaming. I mean, it sounds like what you saw could be explained by all the stress and events over the past few weeks. I think you're more worried about losing Remy than you care to admit." Kitty pulled back and looked into Rogue's eyes. "You really have nothing to worry about."
"Ah hope ya're right, sugah. It just felt so real."
Later that evening…
The crews were assembled on the beach in front of the Anna Marie and the Devil's Lust. Both ships were ready for the voyage back to Scar Island. The crew had done an amazing job restoring the Devil's Lust but the captain's cabin was still a mere shell. Remy would be sharing Christian's room for this voyage, which thrilled the young boy. He was practically attached to his captain's hip ever since the execution.
Kurt, Piotr, and Kitty boarded the Anna Marie, while John stood to the side pulling Wanda into his arms. Rogue watched as the two whispered words to each other and kissed. Remy was near the Devil's Lust issuing the last few orders needed to his crew and said his goodbyes to Mercy and Henri. As she was watching, Remy turned and caught her eyes. Suddenly her mind returned to her vision and she saw Remy as he had stood on that great galleon and felt a weight on her heart as the words 'he's gone' repeated over and over again.
Remy saw the sudden change in Rogue's expression and tilted his head in consideration. Remy crossed the distance between them, but Rogue didn't move. Her features were frozen with a look of bewilderment. He reached his hand out to her and placed it on her shoulder. "Chere?"
Rogue sucked in her breath as Remy's touch brought her back to reality. "Remy…" She placed her hand over his and he smiled.
His eyes were gentle and kind as he stared down at her with a look that made her breathless and weak. Leaning down, he rubbed noses with her, then he dipped his lips to kiss her. She buried her hands in his silken hair and held him close. Don't leave me…
The silent plea burned through her and then the weight returned to her heart and the feeling of loss.
"Be careful, chere. Remy'll be waitin' for y' at de island." He kissed her palm gently. "Dieu, it's hard t' be away from y'."
"Ah know, darlin'," she whispered.
He pulled back with a frown, noticing her somber look. "Is somethin' wrong, chere?"
"No," she said softly. "Ah was only tryin' ta imagine what tomorrow might bring our way."
Remy pulled her against him. "Tomorrow will come no matter what we plan. Remy'll be wit y' as long as y'll have 'im, chere…dat I swear."
Rogue smiled up at him. "Be careful, Remy. Ah hate ta have ya out of mah sight."
Remy laughed. "Remy'll try t' stay out of trouble dis time." He sighed as he saw John board the Devil's Lust. "We need t' go."
He reached out to lay his hand on her cheek. The softness of her skin never failed to amaze him. She was a part of him in a way no one had ever been before. Deep. Integral.
He'd almost lost her yesterday. The pain he'd felt still simmered inside him. He didn't want to feel this way. Didn't want to know that one person held so much power over him that by simply leaving or dying she could utterly destroy him.
It was humbling.
And it was wonderful. Being with her…feeling her…there was nothing else like it. Her presence gave him strength. There was so much emotion in her green eyes. It took all his will power to take that first step toward the Devil's Lust. He was determined. Before they left Scar Island, he would ask her to be his.
Aboard the Anna Marie…
The journey to Scar Island was a difficult one for Rogue…not physically, but emotionally. She wished she had never touched that cursed necklace. She wished she didn't know what she did. Wished she didn't know how it would all end. Over the past few days, she had used her separation from Remy to consider the future, her vision, and the consequences that could follow.
The more the scenes ran through her mind, the more they made sense to her and the more she believed in their truth. Belladonna would never leave her in peace…that would be too much to wish for. They had been at each other's throats since childhood, and she saw Rogue's closeness to Remy as a personal attack.
In her vision, she was certain that Remy was hers and they were happy. The small girl…she could have been their daughter, and Christian was already like a son to her. But the ominous scenes that followed, and that unbearable pain in her heart nearly brought tears to her eyes. If she accepted Remy's love, he could die. She would lose him, and she couldn't bear the thought of life without him. Bella would take him away from her. She was certain that was the message behind the vision. Was the brief happiness worth the pain that would follow? What if her choice to love Remy brought about his death…how could she live with herself?
No… She would have to harden herself and reject him. It would be the only way to save him. As much as it would hurt her to lose him now, it would be far worse to lose him later after becoming closer still.
"Rogue?" Kurt stepped up beside her and wiped a small tear from her cheek. "Was ist los?"
Rogue didn't say anything, nor did she look at him. She just sank down under the shelter of the railings and hung her head in her hands.
"Rogue?"
She finally looked up to see Kurt standing beside her with clear concern etched on his face. He had never seen his sister so upset before. He knelt down beside her and brushed her hair back from her face.
"Talk to me, Rogue. Bitte."
"It's Kitty," she lied. She couldn't tell Kurt the true reason behind her mood. He could tell Remy and what good would that do. No, everyone had to believe her conviction when she let Remy walk away and leave her behind. They had to believe that's what she wanted.
Kurt looked as though he didn't believe her. "Kitty? Vhy?"
"Ah really don't feel like talkin' about this right now, sugah."
Kurt sighed deeply. "Rogue, I know that you are not upset about Kitty. Vhen you decide you need to talk, please come to me. I hate to see you like this." He stood and placed a hand on her shoulder. "We'll be docked by morning."
She turned to look back toward the sea and away from her brother. The Devil's Lust was ahead of the port bow. One more day…then she would have to let him go.
Scar Island…
Rogue was seeing red. Barely able to control her anger, she paced the quarterdeck of the Anna Marie with an angry tick working in her jaw. Waiting for them…she had been waiting for them! The Dark Ruby was docked not 3oo feet from the Anna Marie, and looking better than the first day it had set sail. Belladonna had made some generous improvements. No doubt with the money given to her by Essex. Rogue chastised herself for being a fool. She should have expected as much from the crazed woman. Well, she wouldn't be leaving here without giving the blonde a piece of her mind, and it would be a lesson she would never forget.
Rogue disembarked from her ship and made a determined path towards the Dark Ruby, but was stopped by an arm around her waist.
"Chere," Remy whispered in her ear as he pulled her close to him. "Let it go. De femme is crazy. Remy's missed y'."
Readying herself, Rogue turned and looked into Remy's brilliant ruby and onyx eyes. She was about to open her mouth and begin the conversation that would lead to their end when she felt something smooth and cold touch her collarbone.
Remy fastened the chain around her neck and gently caressed the locket that hung perfectly in the hollow on her neck. "Remy wants y' t' have it, chere."
Rogue reached up to touch the beautiful locket, her fingers slightly shaking. It was the same as in her vision. She blinked and a drop of wetness began to trickle down her cheek. "Thank ya, darlin'," she whispered. "Ah'll cherish it always. Where did ya get it?"
Remy smiled as he looked at the beautifully etched crest on the front. "It belonged t' Jean-Luc. Remy found it in de cabin." Remy picked the locket up into his hand and opened the front. "He had given it t' de woman he married. When she died, he kept it wit him til de end."
Remy bent his head and kissed the vulnerable notch at the base of her throat; closing his eyes, he was overcome by a deep and sudden surge of possessive devotion. "Rogue," he whispered, his breath warming her skin as he made this woman a solemn vow: "I will always take care of y'. I'll always be dere when y' need me. I will be good t' y…if y'll have me."
Rogue pushed him back by his shoulders, just far enough to stare into his eyes. Her own were wide with astonished uncertainty, as though she wasn't sure she'd heard him right.
He stared at her almost fiercely. "Marry me, chere."
Rogue said nothing, unable to trust her voice to deny the truth that cut like a saber's slash into her heart. But if she did not stand firm now, she sensed the force of his persuasion and her own treacherous longing would sweep her into actions that would lead them to destruction.
Looking down at the locket and the feeling of her helplessness echoing in her mind as the vision replayed itself, she shook her head. "Remy, Ah…"
He looked from her hands clutching the locket to her set face. "Y' would send me away? Does what we share mean so little t' y'?"
The anguish in his eyes echoed his tone, but she made herself meet his gaze firmly. "Don't get angry, Remy. Ya know as well as Ah do that we can't go on like this. Especially not now."
"Y' can't leave," he insisted. "Especially not now."
Rogue turned away to hide her building tears. "Ya're bein' ridiculous."
"Me?" he said, grabbing her by the shoulders. "I'm not de one t'inkin' of leavin'."
He could see the pain inside her, the fear. But worse than that, he saw her determination. The raw determination that she always got once she had set her mind on something.
He remained silent for a long time, as if her words were so difficult he must struggle to comprehend them. "We'll have t' part, den?"
"Yeah."
"Permanently?"
"Yes."
"And dere's no way, no circumstance dat we might be together?"
Tears scratching at her eyes, she shook her head. Why must he make this so difficult?
"I would pledge de world and everyt'ing in it not t' have y' tell me goodbye, chere." Remy stroked her cheek, the wispy tendrils at her temple. "I know dat what we have together is pure. Can y' deny it?"
She could not look at him and withstand the hurt she knew she'd find in his eyes with her next words. She had to hurt him to save him. "Remy, Ya've been a useful convenience, but it's time ta move on."
"Convenient?" A fist tightened around Remy's heart. He could not have been more stunned if she had pulled out a pistol and shot him. Non, she didn't mean it. She couldn't be dat cruel. In the back of his mind he heard his mother's laughter mocking him.
She had used him.
Just like his mother had.
She kept her face averted.
This cut much too close to the bone.
Remy leaned over and seized her. "Tell me, mon cœur, mon chere," he snarled as he pulled her close against his chest, "tell me dis is just 'convenient.'"
He kissed her mouth and throat roughly, scouring her with his lips, his stubbled face.
As his lips lingered, their touch altered, became taunting, seductive. "Tell me," he whispered hoarsely as kissing deep, nipping gently, he assaulted her collarbone, "tell me y' feel nothin'. Y' feel it? Even our hearts beat as one."
Rogue wanted to resist, to reinforce with her body the lies of her lips, but, battered by her own anguish and his, she was helpless. Tears came, welling in her eyes. She broke completely, bringing her arms up to cradle his head.
At her touch he shuddered and went still. His arms slid around her shoulders and he bound her to him in a long, fierce, breath-stopping embrace, his own face searing her skin with hot wet tears.
The sudden coolness struck her when he pushed himself away from her. He turned to face her, his eyes stark. "Deny it t' y'rself, chere, but never t' me."
He turned on his heel and strode down the docks.
Rogue didn't know how long she stood immobile. She concentrated all her will on taking one slow steady breath after another, shutting out everything else. To think at all would be too painful.
Gradually the chill of the morning air penetrated her, each faint stir of breeze frosty over her damp eyes and cheeks. With shivering fingers she reached down to cover the frigid wetness at her collarbone. And touched the small, cold pool of his tears.
It was over.
He's gone.
At the tavern…
"So this is it," Erik said. "The necklace of Hecate."
He slowly pulled the beautiful gem from the leather pouch and touched it gently. Rogue shivered slightly as a glazed look appeared in Erik's eyes and she knew it was happening again. He had known the power the necklace held and that's the reason he wanted to claim it as his own.
The others in the room watched as Erik stood frozen in time with a stunned expression on his face and his breathing turned erratic. "What's happening to him?" Kitty asked as she held onto Piotr's arm.
"It's the necklace, sugah."
"Oh," she whispered in a hushed tone. "Is this what you were talking about before? It really shows you things?"
All eyes turned to Rogue and she saw Remy's concern for her even after their heated words. "Yeah…Ah don't know what it all means, but ya see visions."
"Vhy did you not tell us about this before?" Kurt asked, worried.
Rogue shrugged and tried to keep her eyes from Remy. "What does it matter? Ah'm just glad ta be rid of it."
The haze began to flee from Erik's eyes and a smile formed on his lips. "Ahhh, yes! You, children, have done me a great service. The necklace is even more powerful than I could have hoped for, and I owe you a great deal for your work. I knew I had made the right decision in selecting you. Congratulations."
The look that haunted Erik's eyes made Rogue feel uneasy and briefly wonder whether they had made the right decision in handing over the necklace to this man. Surely, what harm could it possible do?
They were, in fact, rewarded greatly by Erik and a few hours later, everyone made their way back to the docks. Piotr and Kitty took their portion of the reward and went in search of their new ship and the start of their life together, while Wanda and John disappeared into the darkened streets to enjoy some time alone.
Kurt was walking beside his sister, wondering what had caused her latest withdraw. He was about to ask her yet again to open up to him, when she stopped suddenly and he ran into her arm.
"Ow!" Kurt shot her an irritated glance at the lack of warning, only to notice the piercing glare on her face.
"Shhh!" Rogue held her arm out, blocking his path. "What is she doin'?"
Before them, Belladonna stood in front of the gangplank to the Devil's Lust, blocking Remy's path. They were in a heated conversation and Rogue inched closer to make out their words.
"Y' should have listened t' me, mon amour. I told y' she only wanted y'…" Bella smiled as she looked Remy over in a slow perusal from his head to his feet, and back up again, "…f'r obvious reasons."
Ah'm goin' ta kill her! Rogue thought in offense.
Remy was clearly put off, too. He bristled and kept his distance. "Bella, Remy's done talkin' t' y'. Jus' be glad Remy's not de type o' man who would hit a femme." With that, he pushed his way past her and left her looking after him with a familiar determination and evil twitch to her lips.
Bella turned to walk back toward the Dark Ruby only to run into a something…or more precisely, someone. "Rogue?" Bella asked with eyes widened in surprise.
"Remy may not want ta hit ya, but fortunately Ah do not suffer from that same sentiment." Before Bella's mind could register the threat, Rogue's fist landed squarely on her jaw, knocking the blonde on her backside.
"Ach! Rogue, you knocked her out!" Kurt exclaimed from behind her.
With a satisfied smile on her face, Rogue looked up to the deck of Remy's ship only to see him looking down at her.
He walked back down the gangplank closing the distance between them, and it took all she had not to reach out to him. The warmth that normally danced in his eyes was gone, and she briefly wondered if she had completely succeeded in banishing herself from his heart. She might have believed it was true had he not reached out to touch her cheek once last time, a final brief moment when his long fingers caressed her and she felt him tremble.
"Remy hopes y' find whatever it is y' seek," he said softly, gruffly. "Remy hopes dat y'll be happy."
Rogue fought back tears as Kurt stood speechless as he watched the heartbreaking scene unfold. "Ah wish the same for ya, sugah."
He only nodded. "I'll never forget y', Rogue." Bending his head, he brushed her lips with a kiss, but even as he made his final farewell, his mind seemed to drift away, as if he had already returned to the sea, to his ship. He turned and started walking, his long legs moving purposefully up the gangway. He paused at the top, stopped and looked back at her one last time, a long, slow, penetrating glance that could have meant a dozen different things. Then he was gone.
Rogue felt her heart break with every step he took away from her. And she would never admit even to herself how much it hurt for him to call her by her given name…how much she needed him call her 'his dear' again. It's for the best. It's for the best. She repeated over and over again in her mind and prayed she was right.
Aboard the Anna Marie…
Kitty and Piotr stayed behind on Scar Island with a large number of crew members from the Neptune's Pearl, while Kurt joined Wanda and Rogue on the Anna Marie. It had been hard to say goodbye, but nothing hurt Rogue as much as the empty hollow that formed in her heart as she watched Remy sail away on the Devil's Lust.
With a knot in her stomach, Rogue watched from the railings as Remy's ship lengthened the distance between them. The setting sun glinted off the masts, and the ship swayed and dipped against the waves. Gulls flapped and called out loudly overhead. Was Remy looking back at the Anna Marie? Was he thinking of her as she was of him?
Ultimately, there is a chance for love of the strongest kind, if you are brave enough to accept. The final scene of her vision flashed before her eyes and she felt a sudden wave of doubt. What if she had been wrong? Could she really live without Remy?
Gawd, how Ah need him! Needed him more than she needed the very air she breathed.
Gripping the railing until her knuckles burned, she fought the urge to sail after him. She didn't want to leave him.
She would give anything in the world to stay with him.
Go after him! Her mind screamed.
But her vision still haunted her. She'd lose him sooner or later.
You're bein' selfish. Think about Remy. What does he want?
No. It's for the best. "Good-bye, Remy," she whispered to the evening mist.
Aboard the Devil's Lust…
Remy didn't sleep at all that night. He lay quietly in the bunk next to Christian, one arm raised above his head, as he stared up at the ceiling lost in torturous thoughts.
It was hard enough to explain to Christian what had happened and why Rogue wouldn't be around anymore when he couldn't even understand it himself. Over and over he saw Rogue before him, the look on her face as she'd walked gracefully out of his life.
He drew a deep breath against the pain that lacerated his chest. It felt as though his heart had been torn out.
She was gone.
And he had let her go. He had just turned his back and let her walk out of his life.
"So," he whispered to himself. "Remy's a coward after all."
In his mind's eye, he saw his mother laughing at him. If your own mother couldn't stomach you, why would she?
"You're worthless, boy" his mother's voice whispered in bitter, drunken anger. "Absolutely worthless. No one could love you. I should have drowned you at birth. Be gone! I don't even want to look at you."
He would survive. He always survived, and pain was nothing new to a man who'd lived most of his life with it. Restless, he got up and walked out to the poop deck, and saw the Anna Marie falling behind and drifting along on its own course. An ache so fierce it was almost crippling consumed him.
He was half tempted to jump overboard and swim out to her. But that was ridiculous.
It was over.
Rogue was gone.
"Captain?" John started him.
"Oui, mon ami?"
"Nothin' really, mate. I just thought you drifted off for a moment. You had me bloody worried all day. What's up?"
Remy shook his head. "Remy asked Rogue t' marry 'im."
"You asked her?" John gasped in disbelief. "You?"
Remy snorted. "Oui. Makes y' want t' run for cover before de Apocalypse strikes, non?"
John shoved him good-naturedly. "So? What happened?"
Remy sighed. "She said no."
John hung his head. "I'm truly sorry, mate."
John went back to his station on the quarterdeck leaving Remy in his solitude. He continued to watch the fading form of the Anna Marie. Right until the moment the ship vanished from his sight, a part of him longed to see it change course, to bring Rogue back to him and to hear her say that she loved him too much to let him go. That she would do anything to stay with him.
It was a fool's dream and well he knew it.
Closing his eyes, he summoned an image of her face and held it dear. It was only then the full impact hit him. Rogue was really gone. She didn't care for him. And worst of all, while she was everything in the world to him, he was absolutely nothing to her.
A/N: The next chapter should be the last for the story. But as you might have guessed from this chapter, I already have a sequel planned.
