This one is for songbird6802.

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Now on to the chapter!

Chapter 24

December 22nd Sunday

~oOo~

Teddy Lupin scrubbed a hand tiredly down his face as he descended the many flights of stairs that separated him from a cup of hot tea.

Why he had to be such a light sleeper was beyond him.

The sounds of snoring and movement in the old house made it all but impossible for him to fall asleep. So after tossing and turning for far too long, Teddy had decided that he might as well do something instead of just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling.

Soft creaks and groans sounded as he stepped down the last few stairs and started down the hall, trying to avoid the wood panels he knew made noise, not wanting to wake anyone up.

Teddy came to a stop just outside the kitchen doors. His Auror training kicked in when he noticed the soft light emanating from the crack below the door. Someone else must be awake.

Pushing the door slowly and silently in, he poked his head around and looked about, frowning when he saw no one there. Stepping fully into the room, Teddy found the kettle resting on the stove and still warm. Who could be up yet? Was one of his cousins up pranking? Or maybe Molly had left the kettle out for this exact reason assuming someone in this house would need it.

Teddy found himself shrugging. Whatever the reason, he was grateful for the tea. He fixed himself a cup to his liking. Then he took a sip and made his way out into the living room to relax by the fire. But out on the couch, he found the answer to his investigation.

Rose was sitting with her back towards him. She was wearing an oversized jumper that looked suspiciously like something Scorpius owned. Rose had curled herself up into the side of the couch with her legs pulled up under her. A cup of tea was sitting beside her on a side table, forgotten.

Her cat Jinx was lying on the back of the couch, her tail flicking back and forth. It stared unblinkingly at him making no sound. Jinx was no longer the little kitten it had been the last time he saw it. It was amazing how fast they grew. Jinx was kinda like Rose, not quite an adult but no longer a child.

He turned his attention back to his cousin. Teddy tilted his head as he watched one of her hands run up and down her arm under the jumper, a nervous habit he knew well. Though he couldn't see her face, he would bet his last knut that she was worrying her lip as well.

Teddy suddenly felt a sense of unease as he surveyed the girl he had grown up with. As the oldest sort-of cousin, it had been expected that he take care of the younger ones. He had always thought of them as the siblings he never had, ones to help and protect. There was a reason the Gremlins still to this day looked out for their own, they learned it from the best.

The fire burned gently in the hearth, a shot of sparks soared into the air. Flames warmed the room and casted long dim shadows about. It was hypnotizing. Teddy would have stood in the doorway watching the flames dance all night, but his attention was drawn back to Rose when she reached to her mug and whispered a warming charm.

"I see I'm not the only one awake at this time of night."

As suspected with how deep in her own mind she was, the sound of a new voice made her jump violently. Teddy was grateful she didn't spill the cup of tea she was currently holding, not wanting to deal with burns at the moment.

Spinning her head around and looking very sleep worn and troubled, Rose looked at him with wide startled eyes.

"Teddy!" She hissed, her face going from surprise, to relief, to annoyance all in a single look, "what the ruddy hell are you doing?!"

Raising an eyebrow he moved into the living room and took a seat next to her on the couch. Rose tracked his every move as if suspicious he would scare her again.

"Same as you I expect."

Rose glared at him for a moment, taking in his sleepy eyes and tousled hair before she gave a huff and turned back to the fireplace, her hands clenched around her cup.

Teddy didn't say anything for a while, letting their silence hang between them as they both let their minds wander.

But after a while of this Teddy decided that Rose was probably not going to be the first to talk. So he took the first step and ventured out with, "I take it that since you're down here at two in the morning and not upstairs sleeping that the whole being in separate rooms thing isn't going so well."

Rose made no move when he spoke, made no sign that she had even heard him. But Teddy knew she had and that she was merely thinking. He contented himself with staring at the fire with her, watching the flames dance and shine its orange light on the room.

"I can't believe that my parents forced this. Why did they have to do anything?"

Teddy sighed, "your parents are just worried about you. You don't have the best track record for talking to them about things, and they would be idiots not to see that you and Scor have gotten closer. Putting you in separate rooms is their way of protecting you. You're not of age yet and the way they see it you are still their little girl. After everything that has happened they just want to keep you that way."

Rose snorted harshly, "Yeah except it was them that were pushing us together when it first happened! You should have heard my mother's speech on acceptance. Now they go pull this on me? I'm getting along with Scorpius like they wanted, they can't go change their minds about it now!

"Did they actually tell you they wanted you to become romantically involved with Scorpius or just learn to get along with him?"

A blush graced Rose's cheeks and she looked down at her feet, "well no... I guess they just told me to accept Scorpius and not push him away."

Then her eyes were flashing and she seemed defiant, "but they can't just pull something like this when they have only seen us together for a few hours! They don't know what our relationship is like! They don't understand that it's hard to be away from each other, even after the Bond has calmed down! It's not fair! Nothing physically romantic has ever happened between me and Scorpius! And we've been sharing a bed at Hogwarts for the past TWO MONTHS! You would think that they would be past the whole keeping us from messing around act! Arggg!"

Teddy smirked, "Nothing romantic huh? That's not the impression I had from the scene at the top of the stairs."

Rose met his eyes in a second, fire blazing in them, "it's rude to eavesdrop you know. That was a private conversation."

"You guys weren't being discreet," Teddy held up his hands with a pacifying smile, "I wasn't trying to listen but like I said you guys were right by the stairs and I heard you talking as I came up."

"Still stopped and listened didn't you though," Rose grumbled, her face flaming with her blush embarrassed that someone had witnessed that particular conversation.

"I did," Teddy agreed, dipping his head in acknowledgement. "I'm sorry about that, I shouldn't have listened when it was obviously private but," he gave her a smirk she knew all too well, "can you blame me? It was just starting to get good."

Rose let out a huff and then a whine of misery before dropping her head into her hands, "I'm such an idiot."

Teddy shook his head lightly, "If you're an idiot, I certainly was. I dated three girls before Vic and had my share of awkward conversations. And then when I started falling in love with Vic I didn't know what to do. We had known each other forever and what if she didn't like me back? What if I was just a brother to her? It was awkward for a while between us, but then we started dating and everything was just, right. Normal."

He moved over, placing his arm across the back of the couch and pulling Rose into a side-hug, "I don't think you're an idiot. I think you're just confused about everything you went through, and I'd be surprised if you weren't."

Rose let out another whine, sounding a bit like an abashed child. "I'm taking it that you heard the rest of the conversation?" Teddy nodded and Rose sighed. Suddenly she was talking, sharing everything like if she didn't she would explode.

"It's just so confusing and embarrassing and I just don't know what to do anymore. It was so hard in the beginning because of how it was between us, which was mostly my fault, I was being a bitch."

Teddy chuckled, always amused when the redhead cussed.

"Then after I passed out, after we talked, it was getting better. We could stand to be around one another and we started to enjoy each other's company, stopped fight and bickering so much. And the insults we used to throw just turned into a type of teasing, like what I do with Al. But then he started acting weird, zoning out a lot and staring at me. I ignored it before, but then we were down by the pitch watching practice. When we got up to leave something happened and he almost kissed me before Albus interrupted. And ever since then I kinda just pushed the whole idea of romance from my mind because I just wanted everything to continue going smoothly. But then at the Ball…" Rose took a deep breath, having said all this without a pause.

"The Ball was magical and wonderful, I honestly have never had a better time there, but then just before the last song Scorpius pulled me away from everyone and took me out of the hall. He said he had a surprise. I think Lily told you about the fireworks?"

A nod.

"Well he was taking me to see them and they were so beautiful and lovely and we were just standing there watching them. Then there was a rose in the sky and Scorpius told me he had made that one for me and... Argg!"

Rose let out a cry of frustration. She then leaned her face into his shoulder muffling her words, "he started talking telling me so many beautiful things. Then he told me that he loved me, had for ages and that he didn't need me to say it back, that he understood and that he just wanted me to know before we came home for the holidays."

"How did it make you feel? When he told you he loved you?"

Rose looked up at the ceiling, as though it would have all the answers.

"I don't know," she whispered, "on one hand I have no idea what to think and on the other, I can't stop thinking about how... Great, it would be if we were together. But then I start thinking about whether I actually want to be with him. Then, I go into how I feel about him in general. Then, I start with the thoughts of whether I could have feelings for him romantically, and maybe I already have those feelings. And just as I think I'm starting to figure it all out, he does stuff like that at the top of the stairs and I just want to-"

Rose made an odd gesture with her hands, looking like she was grabbing something.

"-I don't know just grab him and snog the life out of him because Merlin I want to and-" Rose gave a little whine of frustrantion, "-and now I've just said that I want to snog him without thinking. But now that I stop to think about it, I wonder if I really do want to snog him, or if it's just because he's so sweet and adorable sometimes. It just triggers something in me, especially when he looks at me with those stupidly gorgeous eyes, and for the love of magic I am just so confused!"

Rose curled back into the side of the couch and wrapped her arms around herself. It was like if she made herself as small as possible it could protect her from all her worried thoughts. Teddy turned his attention back to the dancing flames. How could he help?

He sighed lightly, "the thing about love is you can't overanalyze it. It just is. Love is irrational. It doesn't make sense. It's a feeling. Sometimes you just have to go with it."

Rose didn't say anything to this, her eyes seemed to narrow slightly in the dim light. Time passed by slowly, Rose stayed curled up into the side of the couch and Teddy propped his feet up onto the coffee table in front of him. Jinx hoped down from the back of the couch and purred lightly as she rubbed against Teddy's arm until he moved his hand to scratch behind her ears.

Both of them finished their tea, and after a little while Teddy moved his eyes from the fire and back to Rose.

"Are you going to talk to your parents in the morning?"

Rose looked up, her gaze meeting his, he saw exhaustion there that had nothing to do with this conversation, "what do you mean?"

"I mean are you going to actually talk to your parents about this or just continue to suffer in silence?"

"They made their opinions very clear, there's no arguing with them about this," Rose muttered briskly.

"I disagree. I think if you and Scorpius have a united front you can fight this." He paused for a moment, studying her. "This is your health at risk Rose. Yours and Scorpius's."

Again, Rose didn't answer him. His gaze moved from her back to the flames. Somehow he knew this was the end of the conversation. He had helped in every way he could, now it was up to her to do the rest.

Teddy sighed deeply before standing, stretching his hands above his head as he went, "well, some of us have to work in a couple of hours. Are you heading to bed?"

Rose shook her head lightly, leaning forward and grabbing a book she had obviously brought down with her. "Nah, not going to get any sleep anyway, might as well stay down here."

"Night then."

And with that, Teddy left her standing there, book open in her lap but her gaze fixed somewhere else entirely.

~oOo~

Rose POV

Flashes of blue-grey eyes, white blonde hair, a smile that lit up the room.

Soft pink lips.

The flames danced lightly, replaying the images like a plague. She couldn't escape, couldn't get away from the almost tangible need to be with him right now. To not imagine his features, but be seeing them. Seeing him.

He was everywhere. She saw him almost perfectly in her mind, she could feel the softness of his hair beneath her fingers, she could smell the scent that was all his lingering on his jumper that she wore, she could hear his voice in the morning, rough from sleep and so devilishly deep. But the one thing she could not sense from him, the one thing her mind seemed unwaveringly focused on was his taste.

It was impossible not to think about it, and that was driving her nuts.

She wanted- no needed to get away from the temptation, needed something that wasn't his face in her mind. Something that wasn't his lips playing over and over.

Rose forced herself to think about Teddy's words instead, pushing the stormy ocean eyes out of her mind, or at least far back.

Thinking about it now, Rose couldn't believe she had just broken down like that and talked about everything. She didn't know what had come over her. She hadn't really talked about her relationship with Scorpius to anyone, not even her friends. It had just seemed too personal in a way a normal relationship wasn't.

Something about the circumstances had caused her to not want to share anything. At first, it had been because of her denial of the whole situation, like talking about it with people would have made it real, but over time as she had become okay with things, she had just never opened up about it, never sat down with her friends and told them everything like she normally would have.

Maybe it was because this was technically her first real relationship. This wasn't like talking about the boy she had snogged behind the statue of Boris the Bewildered. This was about feelings and issues that she had honestly never even thought about talking about to anyone that wasn't Scorpius.

Rose sighed heavily and scrubbed her hand over her tired eyes.

She was way too sleep deprived to be thinking about all this, even though her mind seemed solely interested in nothing else. Rose wondered what analyzing her feelings again would do. Would thinking and going over the whole situation help? She had done it so many times so far, and every time she seemed to just end up with more questions than answers.

If there was one thing she had learned it was that overthinking could kill a person; it would be slow and torturous but it would kill you.

Rose shook her head. No, she thought, I'm done trying to think. I need to do something else.

A small voice in the back of her mind helpfully suggested going upstairs to Scorpius's room, the consequences be damned.

But she dismissed that thought immediately.

Leaning forward Rose grabbed the book that lay forgotten on the coffee table, opening it to the page she had left off on. But as she eyes slowly started to trace the words of her potions textbook Rose knew reading something like this would not keep her mind from drifting. She needed something interesting and new, not a book she had read four times over.

The sharp snap of her closing the book seemed to shake her mind from the pit of thoughts it was falling down. And though she had no idea where the thought came from, Rose suddenly remembered something, something she couldn't believe she had forgotten.

In a moment she was creeping back upstairs, the sounds of her feet padding down the hall unheard by the sleeping occupants of the house. Her room was dark but Rose didn't dare try and make light, knowing it would wake Lily who was sleeping soundly not a few feet away. Kneeling down at the foot of her bed Rose opened the lid to her trunk and started rummaging as silently as she could through it.

When Rose finally found the small bundle, wrapped in an old copy of the Prophet for safekeeping, she simply stared at it for a moment, wondering how she had yet to look at its contents. The last few days had gone by in such a blur of Ball preparations, drama with the Potter boys, her own drama, and packing for the trip home that Rose had all but forgotten about the small package.

Five minutes later she had made her way back downstairs and had settled herself back on the couch. The fire was cracking just as she had left it. Even Jinx had not moved, sensing that Rose would be back.

The package that lay in Rose's lap was heavy and slightly bulky. Rose was suddenly a little afraid to see what was inside, even though she knew what it was. The silence stretched as she stared at the paper, not daring to move.

Jinx stirred a little beside her, the rustle of fur breaking up the quiet before she fell still again.

Silence.

But Rose didn't have anything to fear from the package. It only told the truth, had answers to things she had been aching to know about for a long time. They say ignorance is bliss, but it could also be a curse. Not knowing something could lead to making mistakes.

However, once you learn something there is no going back. The safety net is gone, and if that knowledge lands you in a hell only you can pull yourself back out of. The truth in this package might burn her, but no one ever said hell wouldn't.

Rose gingerly peeled back the paper and watched as the five green journals spill out onto her lap. Each one was small and while not thick, the many pieces of paper sticking out the sides seemed to suggest that a lot of information had been penciled down inside.

Healer Lynde's mother's journals.

All the answers to the Bond that Rose had never been able to find in any library book.

~oOo~

The smell of bacon filled the air of the kitchen that morning, overpowering the scent of the eggs and toast and sausage. Coffee sat brewed to perfection on the countertop and there was hot water for tea and in pitchers sat pumpkin juice and orange juice and anything else a person could want to drink for breakfast.

Bustling around the kitchen was Molly, who was humming happily as she continued to make waffles and pancakes. Rose watched her out of the corner of her lidded blue eyes, grumbling softly to herself from where she sat on the counter on the other side of the room that being that happy so early in the morning should not be allowed.

The atmosphere of the kitchen was that of a normal work morning set askew by the unfamiliar house around them. Harry sat at the counter, drinking his coffee a little faster than normal as his eyes skimmed the paper. Ron was next to him, talking with his mother as she continued to make food for the inevitable rush of hungry mouths that would come over the course of the morning.

Teddy was there as well, looking as sleep worn as Rose did, though he had rested more than the zombie of a girl sitting a little ways off.

All three of them wore their Aurors uniforms, making quite an intimidating picture sitting there in robes of sharp deep red with black detailing, their names embroidered in black across the left side of the fabric. Pressed to perfection and looking as though they had never been mistreated in their lives, the robes made their wearers seem wise and bold. They appeared in charge even as they did nothing but sit at the counter drinking coffee and talk.

Rose marveled for a moment at how much the three men seemed to change as they wore their uniforms. All three of them were sitting with straight backs and raised chins, giving off an air of purpose and superiority. Even though they all had strong builds from training consistently, hard muscles and stamina to run far longer then Rose could even dream of doing, when she saw them in those robes it was like they had put on confidence and a sense of being.

Their jobs were important and when they put on those robes, they and everyone else knew it.

"Alright," Harry said, looking down at his watch before downing the last bit of his coffee, "we better be off lads."

The kitchen came alive again with the noise of scraping chairs and the clatter of plates as they soared through the air and into the sink. Bags were picked up, wands pocketed, and robes buttoned. Rose watched from her silent perch as Harry got up and gave Ginny, who would be heading into her own job soon, a peck on the lips in farewell before moving over to hug his mother-in-law.

He even ruffled Rose's hair affectionately as he passed, murmuring a gently, "bye Rosie," before leaving through the kitchen doors.

Teddy was next to leave, thanking Molly for breakfast and bidding Ginny goodbye before throwing a grin over at Rose and leaving behind Harry.

Ron moved about, tugging his shoulder bag on and brushing his robes smooth before bestowing a kiss to his mother's cheek and a quick goodbye to his sister who still stood with her back against the counter, sipping her drink.

Before leaving though, he made his way over to Rose. She half wished he would simply ruffle her hair like Harry or even just smile like Teddy. After the night she had the last thing she wanted this early in the morning was a talk with her father.

But she knew she must look terrible and even as she had hoped he would simply bypass saying anything at the moment she knew that her state of complete and utter disarray would not be overlooked.

Merlin knew how much she wished it would be. Because Rose was just tired, so very very tired. She was tired of so many things that her brain seemed to just ache with it. But most of all, she was tired of thinking.

Thus when her father came to a stop in front of her, Rose would have rather been anywhere but there.

"You never went to bed last night."

Whatever Rose had thought her father would say, it was not that.

"I did," Rose said a little defensively, remembering the short period of time after Scorpius had disappeared into his room where she had gotten into her pajamas and sat on her bed for a good hour before giving it up for a lost cause, "for a few hours."

Ron raised an eyebrow, "Teddy said you were down in the living room at two in the morning. What were you doing? Why weren't you upstairs sleeping?"

Rose sighed lightly, "I couldn't sleep."

"The Healer said you two could be apart. She said that you two would be fine."

Rose wanted to snort bitterly but forced herself not to. Now was not the time to get into this conversation. Her parents had done what they believed was right with the information they had been given. But Merlin help her, the statement that they would be fine apart made her want to start hissing with anger.

She was way too tired for this.

"Not now dad. I'll talk to you and mom about it tonight when you get back."

Ron seemed to study her for a moment, taking in the dark crescent moons under her eyes, the pale pallor of her skin and the mess of curls that fell so unusually messy around her shoulders.

He seemed to grow older. His air of confidence faltered and his shoulder slumped. He appeared as weary and exhausted as she was. But somehow Rose knew that a good nights sleep would not take this exhaustion away from him. Rose felt a little panic rush through her as her father seemed to melt away into a broken shell of himself.

Maybe it was everything that had happened to her, maybe he was going through something, maybe it was her mention of Hermione. Whatever it was that made Ron give in for those few seconds made Rose deeply sad. Her father had been through more than his fair share of hardship in his life and Rose was not happy that she had added to his growing list of concerns. She wanted nothing more than to see her father happy and free of the demons that held him.

"Dad?"

Her voice was like a switch to him and in an instance, the father she knew was back. His shoulders squared and his broken lost look was gone.

But the lingering air of fragile misery remained heavy and unavoidable.

"We'll talk later, flower." And with a kiss to her cheek and a small hug, Ron was gone.

~oOo~

Thank you guys so so much for all the lovely words and comments left last chapter. I loved every single one of them. You all are awesome.

xoxo,

Cara