I have not updated in a loooooong time, but I do have a new story out, Artemis Fowl: The Sapphire Thief. I think it is cool.

I soooo don't own Arty, Butler, Holly, or Juliet. But I do own the Hobo King!

Once upon a time, Artemis Fowl was sitting at his desk, coming up with some clichéd plot to steal something overly valuable, like in every Mary-Sue-Thief-person-who-is-kinda-evil-but-loves-totally-OOC-Arty fic. His blue eyes that were just as blue as even bluer eyes were given a strange metaphor that made no sense as he stared at the computer.

Arty was of course plotting something (well actually Artemis Fowl II was plotting something), when the doorbell rung.

Butler who once again had not been mentioned yet in this chapter got up and said, "I'll get the door Arty!" Not that Butler ever called Artemis Arty. It was quite obvious that Butler was not maybe yes not kinda sort of not himself and was hypnotized under Mesmer, or maybe he just had issues.

Butler straightened his suit and but on that I'm-a-butler-and-servant-and-will-kill-you face and opened the door. Butler gasped! He saw in the door a man.

This man was an eight foot tall hobo, riding a motorcycle, with a long bright green beard, an eye patch and a peg leg. He was wearing a sparkly prom dress and beat up army boots. On his head there was a George Washington type wig, that was dyed black with red streaks.

"I am, like, the hobo king," he said in a very high pitched preppy Scottish accent. "I have, like come to find Artemis Fowl, giggle, like totally." He smiled a perfect smile with beautiful white teeth.

"Artemis sir, there is a Mister Hobo King to see you sir," Butler called to Artemis. Juliet who was mad that she wasn't mentioned at all in this story came into the entrance hall and gasped excitedly.

"Oh, Holly! I love the Hobo King look!" She said.

Cliff hanger. Is Holly Short the Hobo King? Is Juliet just crazy? Could they be on a soap opera? Read and Review and you will find out!

WeirdoGal