A/N: Thank you very much for your lovely comments. I am glad to discover people are still on board with this story. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of it as well.
Sharon looked at the mahogany casket that she and Andy chose for Lauren as the attendant lowered it into the ground. Although arranging a funeral was typically a vital part of the grieving process, Rainie refused to do it. Sharon tried to get Rainie involved even in a small way, encouraging her to write a eulogy or choose music for the funeral. Since Lauren and Rainie had decided to have a secular wedding ceremony, Sharon assumed that neither would be interested in a religious funeral. In the absence of Rainie's input, she consulted Father Stan and Lauren's brother, Sam, and somehow they pulled off a respectful and touching secular memorial service.
On the morning of the funeral, she struggled to get Rainie out of bed. With Emily's help, Sharon dressed her daughter and did Rainie's hair and makeup. It felt like taking care of a life-size doll.
Unsure how Rainie would react upon seeing Lauren's body, they decided to have a closed casket ceremony. Still, she surprised Sharon and Andy by requesting to have a viewing before the funeral. Her parents and siblings joined her. They all loved Lauren. She got along well with Ricky and Emily; she adored Lily, Emily and Henry's daughter. To Sharon and Andy, Lauren was the perfect daughter-in-law – always positive and fun, kind and helpful, caring and intelligent, and she shared Sharon's sense of occasion. Even though Rainie's grief was clearly the deepest, the entire family mourned her loss. Despite her extreme reluctance to let go of Lauren's body at the crime scene, Rainie remained eerily calm at the viewing.
Sharon wrapped her arms around Rainie's shoulders when the casket hit the bottom of the grave. Her daughter stared into the grave blankly. Sharon hadn't seen Rainie shedding a tear in several days, but her daughter seemed to be in her own world since Lauren's death. It was hard to tell what was going inside her head, and that worried Sharon.
During the wake, which was held in the condo, Sharon watched her daughter's stunned reactions to the people who offered consolation. It was a little scary, and Sharon wondered if she would ever get her daughter back. Andy reminded her that it was too soon to be thinking that way, that Rainie had just buried her wife, and that she was still processing the trauma of finding Lauren's body. Even knowing that Andy was right, Sharon couldn't believe there would be an end to this.
After everyone left, Sharon and Emily set the dinner table for the family. As they were placing the cutlery next to the plates, Emily nudged Sharon and motioned toward Rainie, whose gaze remained fixed on Lily. At almost two years old, Lily was a chatty toddler, and Rainie was a wonderful aunt. Now Lily played with Poppy, Lauren and Rainie's dog, pulling on her ears and tail and babbling happily, unaware of the family's loss. Sharon noticed how Rainie's gaze followed Lily around the room as she chased Poppy from one side of the living room to the other. It was the closest thing to interest that Sharon had seen her youngest daughter display in days.
As she and Emily finished setting the table, Sharon saw that Rainie was still looking at Lily. She couldn't decipher the meaning behind her daughter's gaze. At this point, it could be anything between resentment and adoration.
"Dinner is ready," Sharon declared, and to her surprise, Rainie didn't need to be lured toward the table.
They ate in silence, the clinking of the cutlery serving as background dissonance. For the first time, the Raydor family were all together, and no one had anything to say. It didn't feel awkward, but words felt unnecessary. Even Lily contented herself with her food instead of her usual babbling.
"Is the crime scene cleared?" Rainie broke the silence.
"Not yet," Sharon replied. She didn't know whether Rainie even planned to return there. She figured that her daughter would sell the house.
"I want Lauren's test. Can you get me that?"
"What test?" Andy asked.
"The pregnancy test that she took that morning," Rainie said. "I want it."
"We'll speak to Provenza, and we will see if we can get it for you. Is there anything else that you need from there?" Sharon asked.
"Just that."
Rainie hadn't had such a lengthy conversation since the day before Lauren's murder. Sharon clung to any sign of her daughter's progress in processing her loss. After dinner, Rainie retreated to the guest room as Emily and Ricky helped clear the table.
"So, that was a bit weird, right?" Ricky asked as he loaded the dishwasher.
"We can't judge, Ricky," Sharon said. "She's going through something unimaginably terrible. I think it's her way of holding on to what she lost."
"Do you think that she was thinking about her baby when she was looking at Lily earlier?" Emily asked.
"Maybe. I didn't know they were trying. I don't know how long it took them to get pregnant, so –" Sharon blinked away her tears and shook her head. For all she knew, getting pregnant could have been a struggle for Rainie and Lauren. Rainie hadn't shared that part of her marriage with Sharon, which struck her as odd since they were so open about their goals and dreams. Sharon had no idea why they chose to go through this process privately.
Ricky accepted another dirty plate from his sister. "Will you find the person who did this?"
"I don't know. There were some DNA and fingerprints left at the scene, so if it matches up with someone, we have in our database, maybe." At this point, Sharon wasn't sure having the murderer caught would benefit Rainie much. Sure, it would bring justice to Lauren, but it would also force Rainie to testify in court again. That was not something Sharon wished for her daughter.
"I wonder if Rainie will ever find anyone she would love like Lauren again," Ricky said.
"It's hard to tell. I want to say yes because she still has her entire life ahead of her. But at the same time, I'm afraid she's got her heart broken one time too many."
"Do you think some time alone with Lily could help her?" Emily wondered.
"Honey, to be honest, I don't know what's going on in her head." Sharon knew her children were looking for a magic solution, something they could do to retain normalcy. "I am sure Rainie is feeling a lot of things right now, but she's not sharing. And it's okay. We need to give her some space to experience her loss, but at the same time let her know that she can lean on us."
She watched clueless expressions spreading across her children's faces. She didn't know a better way to explain it to them.
"So, I just got off the phone with Provenza," Andy said as he walked into the kitchen. "He's at the house, and he found the pregnancy test. He said he'd bring it here tonight."
"Thank you," Sharon said and pressed her lips to Andy's.
"You two are gross." Ricky made a face.
"You're gross," Emily said to her brother. "That was sweet, Mom."
Hearing her children's banter was the semblance of normalcy she craved. She knew it was fleeting, and once her older children left the condo for the night, the sadness and grief would return, but just for a moment, Sharon enjoyed it.
-TBC-
