A/N: Thank you all for keeping up with this story and for leaving your reviews and comments. I hope you continue to enjoy it.
The morning sun that came through the window cast a soft glow over the bedroom. As Sharon rolled in bed, her hands found something warm and fury on Andy's side. Poppy. With her eyes still closed, her fingers played with the soft fur, finding that passing her hands through it was soothing. She mumbled Andy's name but received no reply.
It took her a good fifteen minutes to fully wake up and get out of bed. Even after washing her face and brushing her teeth, Sharon felt groggy, and she supported herself against the wall as she walked towards the kitchen. She heard Andy before she saw him.
"I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but this is unacceptable." Andy's words made Sharon stop in her tracks. She didn't want to walk into this particular conversation. Therefore she remained in the hall.
Rainie huffed.
"You're an adult, and I can't tell you not to drink, but when you come through this door drunk and stoned, and you don't think of your mother and me –" Andy paused. "Did you ever consider the idea that being around drunk people might be triggering for us?"
"Oh, please. You're cops. You arrest drunk and high people all the time."
"Those people are not our family members. How would you feel if Sharon came home one day drunk and stoned? Would it be a good experience for you? Would it not scare you, considering everything you went through as a child?" Andy asked.
"Mom is too responsible for that," Rainie replied.
"You're right. Sharon is one of the most reliable people I've ever met. She's always there to support the people she loves, but you know what? She's not made of steel, and she has seen too many people that she loved choosing their addictions over her."
"Look, Dad, I get it. It was wrong," Rainie said.
"It was more than wrong. It was dangerous. Did you know that having an addicted parent puts you at an increased risk of becoming an addict? Is this what you wanna be?" Andy asked.
"Of course not."
"So the next time you drink, don't overdo it," Andy said. "And no drugs, whatsoever."
"I'm sorry, dad."
Upon hearing Rainie whimpering, Sharon realized that the idea of becoming an addict was triggering for Rainie as well. The iron grip that addiction had on their family was terrifying. She took a deep breath and walked towards the kitchen. She found Andy's arms around Rainie as he comforted their daughter. Sharon considered retreating to the hall for a moment, but Andy shook his head and motioned for her to join.
"I'm sorry for coming home like that, mom."
Sharon pressed a kiss to the crown of Rainie's head. "Everything is crazy right now, sweetheart." She whispered.
"Mom, I meant what I said last night," Rainie said.
Sharon took a step back, and so did Andy. Sharon hadn't told him what Rainie had said, thinking that her daughter just blurted a random drunken thought. Hearing that Rainie was serious about having a child so soon after her spouse's death was strange, to say the least, especially considering the reason why Lauren was the one to get pregnant, to begin with.
"What was that?" Andy asked.
"I want to get pregnant." Rainie looked at her father.
"Don't you think it's a bit soon?" Sharon asked.
"After someone dies, everyone always says that life goes on, right?" Rainie asked.
Sharon nodded.
"Then this is how my life needs to go on. If I can't have Lauren, I can at least have a child," Rainie said.
Sharon exchanged a worried look with Andy. It's been only a month since Lauren's death, and it felt like Rainie needed to process it further before she would make a life-changing decision. Having a child at this stage seemed a bit exaggerated.
"I'm terrified," Rainie said. "I'm afraid of going through the treatments."
"Honey, you're still young. You can afford to wait for a little," Sharon said.
"I can't. I owe this to Lauren. I was such a douchebag to her about it." Tears started rolling down Rainie's face. "We knew in advance that she would have fertility issues before we started treatments, and I still forced her to go through that because I was too scared of facing the treatments myself."
"Rainie, you had a valid reason to be scared," Andy said.
"Did I really?" Rainie sighed. "I mean, I was seeing a therapist the entire time, and Lauren would have been there with me. We could have been mothers by now. And she would still be alive because we wouldn't have moved to that house. But she's dead because I was selfish."
It hurt Sharon to hear how much guilt her daughter was carrying. "Sweetheart, what happened to Lauren was just bad luck. It had nothing to do with your decision not to carry your child."
"Fate made it so that I would have to carry a child in my own body," Rainie sighed.
"But if you're so scared of going through IVF, you might not be ready to have children yet. Maybe you should wait a little longer until you can find the courage to handle it." Sharon suggested.
"I don't want to waste any time. I'm not getting any younger. All my eggs are probably dying as we speak."
Sharon snorted at Rainie's melodramatic reaction. It reminded Sharon of what Rainie used to be like as a teenager.
"I don't know who taught you about your reproductive system, but you still have at least twenty-something years until all your eggs die."
Andy chuckled, defusing the tension between Sharon and Rainie.
Rainie turned to him. "Is it that terrible that I want something to live for, dad?"
Sharon could tell by the look in Andy's eyes that he knew he was in trouble.
"We love you, Rainie. If having a child will make you happy, then we will be there to support you. We're just worried this might be too early," he said.
"I wanna start now." Rainie insisted.
"So, how do you want to go about it?" Sharon asked. That was not what she had in mind when she mentioned healthier coping mechanisms the previous evening.
"I want to schedule an appointment with Lauren's OBGYN," Rainie said. "And I need you to be there with me, mom. I can't go through this without you."
"Honey, if you want to have a child so badly, I promise I'll be there for you every step of the way, but you have to get your life together. You can't bring a baby into grief because that's a heavy load to put on its shoulders. You have to think of how you are planning to support your child because being a single mother is more difficult than you can imagine."
"I make enough money to support a child, and I'll put the money from Lauren's life insurance in a trust for the baby," Rainie said. "And the mortgage insurance will help me buy a house. Or maybe an apartment would be better. Maybe in your building, so I can be close? I mean, you'll get to see the baby every day if you want."
"If you want our help, we have one stipulation, though," Sharon said.
"Anything," Rainie said.
"You go to your therapist regularly, join a support group, and do all the mental work that is required of you, so your child comes into a healthy environment," Sharon said.
"I promise," Rainie said, tears in her eyes.
"Then you've got yourself a deal."
-TBC-
