AN: Um...I'm a buffy/spike shipper...and I'm not really sure what this is...I started it planning on writing something rather sappyish, I suppose, and Spike sort of steered this in an entirely different direction. So, this is Spike's last thoughts before he dies at the end of Chosen. (obviously not taking into account his resurrection in Angel.) So, yeah! Please R&R!

Disclaimer: Not mine. And I stole the two lines in quotes from the show, of course.

.A.

...Fragile...

"I love you."

The world is collapsing around

me and

I--immortal I--

the original Big Bad,

lately lapdog,

so very, very close to

death--

ashes to ashes and all that rot--

almost laugh.

Bloody girl,

yo-yo,

pain in the arse that can

Never

make up her mind and

Now it's too bloody late.

Right,

throw it at me as I'm

bursting--

no, being gently cooked--

bloody well broiled?--

with the bloody necklace.

"I love you."

An' just when I can finally

finally

gloat

an' kiss 'er

an' tell 'er it back

an' say it's about bloody time--

I can't.

The Poofter'd know what I mean--

Ironic, that,

but then 'e's not the one 'bout to

Sacrifice 'imself for the bloody

world.

Knew this soul'd get me into

trouble

Rather like the sunshine, though.

And what am I bloody well s'posed to say?

'Cuz I know she does

love me, that is,

for this moment at least.

But s'not enough to die for--

though I am

Dying for love.

Love's bloody whipping boy, I am,

but that's right 'n all, s'way it's

s'posed to 'appen

Always a bloody fool for love,

silly to stop now

Right when it really counts, really

means something, eh?

Got to go all the way, or somethin' or other.

An' when she's looking at me,

all soulfull--I can do that too, course, now...

those big gorgeous eyes

an' bloody brilliant hair--

An' what can I say to make 'er

Understand?

S'not right, 'course.

Be right an' fitting for her to die here,

with me,

but s'not the way these stories go.

Hero's always too bloody heroic--

See, that's me being heroic, not the Great Poofter--

S'right, the Big Bad 'imself,

'n wouldn't Dru just Die?

Me, sacrificing myself for the world?

Wipe that smirk off that lift-wearing sod, s'will

an' every time 'e looks at 'er

I saved 'er

Almost 'urts now,

s'coming soon

Bloody girl's still here an' it gonna hurt like

bloody hell 't say it but

honestly, it's been true for so long...

"No, you don't."

Anything to get 'er away

Can't sacrifice all proper if she goes down

with me

Nice gesture, though,

"...but thanks for saying it."

Now for the love of that hell I'll

be seeing soon, go!

Givin' my life for you,

y'know,

Remember that, wont ya', pet?

Remember me, the smug ol' Big Bad ya'

couldn't kill.

S'right to do that, better 'n remembrin

our kiss

Kisses, really,

better 'n remembrin 'ow bloody much I

loved you.

Kills me though--moreso, I mean,

if you were t' die,

so off with you!

Leave me t' rest

Sunlight feels nice

soul all set up in the right place

An' you've got twenty-odd slayers

runnin' loose.

Gotta catch 'em, slayer,

teach 'em.

Tell 'em 'ow not all Big Bads are

bad

'ow some of 'em can love you

trust you

die for you

an' be loved in return.

Do that, slayer,

Remember me that way, pet.

It'll hurt

but you'll live

An' part of me will too.

The good part.

The part that's dying for the world.

One thing I've learned about soul's, love,

they're a right fragile thing