The trip continued as planned, progressing relatively normally. The duo went to tourist sites and restaurants, trying new things. There was one instance where a frog leg accidentally got thrown out a hotel window, but the bluenette really shouldn't have been chasing his husband around the hotel with it since it irked him. Room service was none the wiser, and the secret agents that had been following them were baffled as to how the food got on the windshield of their car the next morning.
Bretodeau's and Lamar's game of cat and mouse with the demons proved frustrating, but no real instances of note occurred after that at the motel. The duo weren't even really trying to run from the Frenchmen. Rather, they were simply trying to ignore them as they had a wonderful time.
They continued to do so as they reached a ski resort located high in the mountains. It didn't matter that it was summer. There was still snow, and the lodge was still open. Without heavy coats, the pair almost froze, but were able to purchase some before they arrived. Alois wasn't too keen on the puffiness of the jacket and pants, but thought the bluenette was cute.
"Like an angry marshmallow!" he called him, causing the Watchdog to roll his eye.
The bluenette was attempting to teach his beau how to ski, but the menace simply wasn't having it- Or rather, couldn't. Alois simply could not do it. Even with his supernatural sense of balance, agility, and grace, he still slipped and fell. When he didn't, he couldn't steer and had to be redirected by the other man so that he wouldn't run into trees, other patrons, and any other hazards. Ciel, on the other hand, had gone skiing before and was more than decent despite the fact that he had his hands quite full with the fumbling fair-haired demon.
"People actually do that for fun?" asked a shivering Alois as he sat by the fireplace in the lobby of the resort with his husband. The other man held onto both of his hands, trying to warm them up in his grasp. A good amount of snow had gotten inside the poor blonde's clothes from crashing and toppling over, soaking his hair as it melted and chilling him to the bone.
"Let's go back to the room." Ciel suggested. "We'll draw you a nice, warm bath."
"Why do baths solve everything with you?" questioned the menace, shaking his head.
"Baths are relaxing." Informed his beau. He shifted his hands to covers a bit more of Alois' hands. "It'll warm you up and help your muscles. You've been thrown around a lot, today."
"I healed instantly, so that's not a problem." Alois explained. "All I need is to warm up. I can do that next to the fire. Unless, you want to volunteer."
"I could bathe with you, I suppose. The tub is big enough."
"Seriously, what is with you and bathing?" questioned the blond. "Are you just trying to get me naked again?"
"No. I just want a bath, if I'm honest. That would be a nice bonus, though."
"You pillock. Just go have a bath, then."
"I was seeing if you wanted one, though. You're the one who got snow in their trousers."
"Whose fault is that? I heard that snowboards were easier."
"I can't teach you how to snowboard. I only know how to ski." Said the bluenette.
"Not radical enough, are you?" asked the menace. "Or is it a rich fuck thing?"
"You're a rich fuck too, you know…"
"Not by blood." Quipped Alois. "It does not come naturally to me. I'm wicked. When I run into a tree, I don't bleed blue. I'm uncultured. I'm embracing that now, and it feels awesome."
"Now who's the pillock? That doesn't even make sense."
"Neither does that turtleneck." the blonde said, taking a hand away in order to point at his husband. "Why is that attractive? You look like a nerd, but it's cute. What that fuck? You took off your coat and went from 'marshmallow', to 'lovable dweeb'. That is witchcraft, sir."
"Now you're on about turtlenecks?" asked the Watchdog. "Did you hit your head too hard or something?"
"No, that's just how my train of thought works, y'know?"
"Yeah, I know. I was just teasing. Should I start wearing more of these from now on?"
"Only if you let me snuggle up to that, Pooch."
Shaking his head, the bluenette chuckled at the other Phantomhive's train of thought. "You're so weird."
"Says bath boy." Answered Alois. "Deal?"
"You were going to do it regardless."
"What if I tried to withhold it?"
"You wouldn't last a day."
"No fun at all…" grumbled the menace. He took both hands away and stood up with a shudder and a disgusted look on his face. "I need to go change."
"I told you to do that once we set foot inside, but no, you sat there with snow melting in your trousers instead."
"Kiss my frozen ass."
Before either man could exit the lobby in order to reach their hotel room, two secret agents marched their way down the stairs. They stomped their feet and made a beeline toward the demons, prompting a roll of the Lion's eyes. Bretodeau looked absolutely furious, stopping directly in front of the pair and speaking in a hushed, yet aggressive tone.
"Confess!" he ordered. "I know you two have something to do with this!"
"Toto, we have no idea what you're talking about unless you tell us at the start of the conversation." Alois replied, putting his hands up with a shrug. This only made the other man furrow his brow harder.
"Don't play dumb with me!" said Bretodeau. "A body was found on the third floor. I know that's the floor you're staying on. Confess! What did you do?!"
"Aw… Can we move our room to another floor?" the blonde asked. "I don't want to be around a murder investigation while on vacation."
"If we can, we'll request another room." Answered his beau, almost ignoring Bretodeau's demands.
"Why are they dead?!" Dominique asked again. "Tell me ! What do you two have to do with this?!"
"Nothing?" Alois said while arching an eyebrow. "We were skiing all day. Well, Ciel was skiing, and I was running into things, but you get the idea."
"Agent Bretodeau, we don't know what you're talking about." Ciel addressed. "We really were out and about all day. We only arrived this morning. After that, we put our things away and hit the slopes."
"How can I believe that?!" Dominique hissed, pointing a finger at the bluenette. "How do we know that body isn't fresh?!"
"Because there's a thing called an 'autopsy' that will tell you the time of death?" said Alois. "We've been sitting here for like, thirty minutes. The snow in my pants even melted. Look, there's a wet spot on the chair."
"What the fuck?! How do I know it's snow?!"
"What do you think it is?! It's fucking water!" the blonde loudly said back, pointing at the chair.
"I don't know you! It could be…. urine for all I know!"
"It's not piss! Fucking smell it!"
"I'm not smelling your fucking chair, you English pig-dog!"
"What does that even mean?!" demanded the blonde. "We had nothing to do with that shit and that's all there is to it! Go on! Examine the fucking body!"
"That's the police's job, you blond idiot!"
"You can't even do something that simple?! What kind of agent are you?!"
"Will you keep your voice down?!" hissed Bretodeau, his blood pressure rising with every single clash of words between himself and the Menace. "What part of 'secret agent' don't you understand?! At least I can get the basics down."
"Suck my oui oui, cheese-eating surrender monkey!"
"Alright, that's enough." The bluenette butted in once tensions got too high. It was amusing at the start, but now people were staring at the group. "Jim, calm down. Bretodeau, you as well. It is very unprofessional to leap to conclusions without even bothering to collect any sort of evidence. Jim, it is rude to say such things in public."
"Like everybody here speaks English…" muttered the menace as Dominique crossed his arms. His associate sighed, placing his hands in his pockets.
"He's right, Dominique." Felician stated. "They could be telling the truth. Let's let the police handle this."
"Why doesn't the great detective handle it?" scoffed Bretodeau. "If he's not guilty, he can do it."
"No, I can't." Ciel bluntly stated, reaching for the blonde's hand again. "Not because it isn't within my capabilities, but simply because I don't want to. It's not my department, and I'm not going to work while on my honeymoon. It would be rude to my spouse."
"Isn't he a detective too?"
"Yeah, but I'm on my honeymoon, too, and again, it's not our department." The other Phantomhive replied. "Now, if you'll excuse us, I'm frozen, wet, and would quite like a bath, so if you'll excuse us…"
Alois nudged past the two Frenchmen with his husband in tow, rendering them incapable of following. The bluenette snatched their coats off of the backs of their chairs before being whisked away, soon catching up and keeping pace with the blonde, walking at his side as they made their way back to their room.
"Finally decided to go with that bath?" jokingly questioned the bluenette, smiling a bit wider as the other man huffed.
"I need to relax." Answered his beau. "I hate that guy. He's a prick."
"Yes, but he's incompetent, so he's not really a threat." Ciel informed. "We should remain unaffected by this."
"I hope so. I really don't want to deal with it." Alois admitted.
"I understand completely." The Watchdog replied. "Now, let's get you that bath…"
"Relax with me?" requested Alois. "I also want held, is multitasking an option?"
"Sure, sure." Ciel answered. "I wanted a bath too, anyway."
