The Sacred Forest Whispers
+--------------------------------+
By Flight
+--------------------------------+
Disclaimer: Dude if I wrote this, why would it be on Anyways, Naruto does not belong to me blah blah blah but THIS STORY DOES! TAKE THIS STORY AND YOU DIE! Thank you.
+-----------------------------------------------------+
System 10-2CB
Designed by Uzamaki Naruto
Tapping System
Phone # (457)-345-9005
(beep)
(beep)
(beep)
'Shit does this thing work?'
(beep)
(beeeeeeeeep)
-Naruto, what are you doing?-
'AAH!'
-What is it?-
'Shut up!'
-Naruto, why are you tapping into Kizune's phone line?-
'I'm her mother! She might be calling someone who is potentially dangerous and might possibly want to stalk her!'
-Like who? That Hyuuga kid?-
'S-shut up!'
-Whatever.-
'There, done! Now, stop bothering me!-
"Mom?"
'SHIT! GAARA RUN!'
(beep)
(beep)
(beeeeeeeeep)
+------------------+
Date: October 30th
Caller ID: Moriwana Lana
Kizune: Hello?
Lana: Kizune! Tomorrow's Halloween!
Kizune: Yes, I am aware.
Lana: Want to go trick-or-treating with the other girls?
Kizune: Oh, sorry, I already promised Taka that I'd go trick-or-treating with him, plus I already invited the Aburame twins…
Lana: …
Kizune: Are you ok?
Lana: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You are leaving us behind!
Kizune: What! What are you talking about?
Lana: You, who have already entered puberty!
Kizune: Er, what!
Lana: Why else would you want to hang around with three troublesome and horribly stupid men instead of your best gals?
Kizune: Lana, relax! It's just one Halloween night ok?
Naruto: (in the background) Kittling, Dinner!
Lana: You are wandering astray!
Kizune: Look, I got to go to dinner, ok? I'll call you back later.
Lana: Promise?
Kizune: (sighs) Ok, ok, promise…
Caller ID: The Fifth Kazekage
Kizune: Um… hello?
Kourochi: Yo.
Kizune: Kou, what are you doing?
Kourochi: Aunty wants to talk to you.
Kizune: …
Kourochi: …
Kizune: …hello?
Kourochi: Yo.
Kizune: I thought you said Aunty wanted to talk to me!
Kourochi: She does. I'm just not giving her the phone.
Kizune: Are you purposely trying to get me mad?
Kourochi: Nope.
Kizune: …
Kourochi: Hey, what's with your boyfriend?
Kizune: Oy, what's up with your girlfriend?
Kourochi: Hey, no fair.
Kizune: It is too fair. Besides, I don't have a boyfriend.
Kourochi: I thought you were going out with that Aburame guy.
Kizune: Nope.
Kourochi: I've been having a bunch of bad luck with girls lately. There was that one girl, Pan, I got her pissed off somehow and she told the school board that I cheated on the final exams, but then they didn't believe her.
Kizune: She sounds like a bitch.
Kourochi: Talk about it. But now I don't have anyone to dance with at the Suna Dance.
Kizune: There's a dance in Suna?
Kourochi: First Annual Dance.
Kizune: Ah… Dad's making up a bunch of weird new laws, right?
Kourochi: I don't know how he gets away with it.
Kizune: (imitating) 'What? You don't like my dance idea? DESERT COFFIN!'
Kourochi: (snort) You sound exactly like Uncle Gaara.
Kizune: Why, thank you.
Kourochi: But I still don't have anyone to dance with.
Kizune: What do you want me to do about it?
Kourochi: Will you go to the dance with me?
Kizune: EW! No! One, I am your cousin. Two, you live in Suna, I live in Konoha. Three, I'm still in Ninja Academy and you have to be at least Genin to attend!
Kourochi: Ok, ok, you got me.
Kizune: Why did you even ask?
Kourochi: Well, it was worth a shot.
Naruto: KIZUNE! ARE YOU DOING YOUR HOMEWORK?
Kizune: (covering phone) I finished two hours ago!
Naruto: WHAT ABOUT STUDYING! DID YOU STUDY?
Kizune: No, Mom, the TEST IS IN A MONTH!
Naruto: DOESN'T HURT TO STUDY!
Kizune: Mom, you're insane!
Gaara: Listen to your mother, Kittling.
Kizune: Alright, alright, fine.
Naruto: (starting to get pissed) WHAT, SO YOU LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER BUT NOT ME?
Kizune: Well…
Gaara: It's because I'm more comprehensible and sensible then you are.
Naruto: ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FIGHT?
Kizune: Er, I'll call you back later.
Kourochi: No prob. And Aunty wants to say she's making you a costume! She'll ship it this evening; you'll get it tomorrow morning.
Kizune: O-O? Oh… well… I guess that's nice of her…
Gaara: Hm…
Naruto: ANSWER ME LIKE A MAN SABAKU!
Kizune: Argh…
Caller ID: Inuzuka Kiba
Kizune: How many people can call me in one day?
Kaede: I CHALLENGE YOU TO A MATCH!
Kizune: What? Who is this?
Kaede: How dare you question my existence? Tomorrow at approximately four, I challenge you to a one on one ninja duel, with my sensei as the judge! I will expect the best from you, Sabaku no Kizune. The best!
Kizune: Er… four? But… trick or treating…
Kaede: Huh?
Kizune: I don't who you are, but I just want to inform you that tomorrow is Halloween, so I won't be able to come. Sorry.
Kaede: WHAT? ARE YOU—
Kizune: (hangs up)
Caller ID: The Fifth Kazekage
Kizune: What, Kou?
Silence: …
Kizune: …? Who is it?
Silence: …la, la, la…
Kizune: What the heck?
Hatori: Kizu-chan!
Kizune: Hatori, is that you?
Hatori: Hai!
Kizune: How did you get on the phone?
Hatori: Dunno. 'Tori touch button an' boom! Kizu-chan!
Kizune: Why were playing with the phone anyways?
Hatori: Phone tastes good.
Kizune: O-O…
Hatori: Kizu-chan next time come visit, bring candy!
Kizune: Why?
Hatori: Because there's no candy here.
Kizune: Get Aunty to buy some for you.
Hatori: No, 'cause Momma only likes to buy fishy candy and fishy candy no good, 'Tori don't like!
Kizune: Hatori, you're my cousin and all and I love you but can you please call me tomorrow? It's, like, almost midnight here.
Hatori: Waaaaah? But 'Tori no sleepy at all!
Kourochi: (background) Hatori? What the frick' are you doing on the phone?
Hatori: Kou-chan, Ohayo!
Kourochi: (takes the phone) Oy, Kizune, sorry about that. Stupid cousin being stupid again.
Kizune: Talk about it.
Hatori: 'TORI NO STUPID!
Kourochi: Good Night.
+------------------+
Date: October 31st
Caller ID: The Fifth Kazekage
Kizune: What! Why do you people keep calling me! Dad's going to get mad; do you know how much long-distance calls cost?
Temari: Kizune, I have no time for your foolishness.
Kizune: (snaps to attention) Aunty!
Temari: Is Gaara there now?
Kizune: Nope.
Temari: Then why do I hear his voice in the background?
Kizune: Well… he's here… but he's not here…
Temari: Is he physically there?
Kizune: Yup.
Temari: Can I talk to him?
Kizune: Nope.
Temari: Let me guess; he got Naruto pissed off at him again and Naruto hit him one time too many?
Kizune: Yup. He's lying on the floor, gurgling. Mom put some poison in his drink.
Temari: Really?
Kizune: Really.
Temari: Was it funny to watch?
Kizune: Yeah. Dad took a swig from his tea, then his face turned purple, and then he turned over. His last words before dissolving into unconsciousness was '…those strawberries were mine…'
Temari: (laughing) Woah, that's pretty extreme!
Kizune: Yeah, and Mom was cackling as he watched. It was his revenge for Dad treading sand all over the house.
Temari: Naruto must have pretty mad at that.
Kizune: Talk about it. Do you want me to leave him a message for you when he wakes up?
Temari: Sure, tell him I'm sending a special nin to Konoha to talk to him about some important matters.
Kizune: If it's so important, shouldn't he already know by now?
Temari: He's been shirking duties again.
Kizune: Aah…
Naruto: Kittling, help me drag Gaara upstairs! He's drooling all over the carpet!
Temari: Put me on speaker phone.
(Kizune puts Temari on speaker phone)
Temari: Yeah, Gaara, I bet that carpet cost more than a hundred thousand bucks-- get a move on!
Gaara: …gurgle…
Naruto: Temari stay out of this!
Kizune: Hanging up now…
Caller ID: Haruno Sakura
Kizune: Moshi Moshi?
Sakura: Kizune, remember to buy pads!
Kizune: Aunt Sakura!
Sakura: It's that time of the month.
Kizune: Relax, I've already stocked up.
Sakura: No, you didn't, because Kaede just called me to say that Fu ate them all.
Kizune: WHAT?
Sakura: Fu ate up all your pads.
Kizune: Ok, that is just really disturbing. Gross!
Sakura: So you've got to get more pads, and hide them in a better place this time.
Kizune: Ok, ok. Wait, why was Kaede's dog in my house? Stupid dogs!
Sakura: Don't ask me. Oh, and tell Naruto to get his ass up to work, he's been shirking.
Kizune: That's weird. Dad's been shirking work too.
Sakura: What, are they planning to elope or something?
Kizune: Aunt Sakura, they're already married.
Sakura: Desperate Housewives!
Kizune: What?
Sakura: Nothing. Anyways, remember!
Kizune: Ok, ok…
Caller ID: Moriwana Lana
Kizune: Hel—
Lana: Kizune, you bitch!
Kizune: O-O? Ok, what the heck did I do to you?
Lana: You said you'd call me back yesterday!
Kizune: Is that all your mad about?
Lana: No! I know what you've been up to!
Kizune: What? What am I up to?
Lana: You're dating Taka!
Kizune: WHAT!
Lana: It all makes sense! Who do hang out at recess instead of us? Taka! Who do you talk to when you're in a bad mood? Taka! Who do you smile and laugh around? TAKA! YOU'VE BEEN DATING TAKA ALL THIS TIME AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US?
Kizune: I am not dating Taka!
Lana: You are!
Kizune: I am not!
Lana: Then why did Michiru see you two holding hands this morning?
Kizune: I have no idea what you're talking about. Number one, I was stuck in this house all day. Number two, you know better than to trust what Michiru says! For all you know, she may have been hallucinating! And Number three, I only think of Taka as a friend ok?
Lana: Then who do you like?
Kizune: Why do I have to like someone? You sound like Kou.
Lana: Hey, you talk about this 'Kou' person a lot. Is he your boyfriend?
Kizune: NO, HE'S MY COUSIN!
Lana: So?
Kizune: …
Caller ID: Hyuuga Neji
Kizune: Hey, Taka.
Taka: How'd you know it was me?
Kizune: We've got caller ID.
Taka: Oh yeah. I forgot about those things.
Kizune: What do you want to talk about?
Taka: I'm at the costume shop right now and I don't know what I'm going to dress up as. What are you going as?
Kizune: An angel. My Aunty sent the costume to me this morning.
Taka: Ok… what about a 'Devil-Angel' theme? Is that ok?
Kizune: It's a little cheesy. And you're too nice to be a devil anyways.
Taka: Am not! I'm not that nice!
Kizune: Face the facts.
Taka: Argh!
Kizune: And besides, the Aburame twins are going with us too.
Taka: What? Why'd you invite them?
Kizune: Because they're my friends?
Taka: Kizune! You know I can't stand them!
Kizune: You liar.
Taka: I do not lie! I hate them! They're either too quiet or too loud! Plus, they're really obnoxious.
Kizune: Look, you've got to look at more than the outside, ok? They're good people.
Taka: B-but…
Kizune: Please Taka? For me?
Taka: …ok…
Kizune: Alright!
Taka: I still need to pick out my costume!
Kizune: Right, right… alright… let's see… you could be… another angel, like me!
Taka: Or maybe I can be a ninja!
Kizune: Er, you are ninja.
Taka: Yep! Get it, get it?
Kizune: That's the lamest joke ever.
Taka: Argh! Be that way! Anyways, I'll think of something. Dad's getting pissed at me 'cause I'm talking too long on the cell and his company contract says he has to pay a quarter for every minute or something… so… Bye!
Kizune: Ja!
+------------------+
Caller ID: Uzamaki Naruto
Kizune: Cool, I'm calling myself.
Kizune: Ok, so this is going to be like my phone-diary. I know Taka keeps a paper diary and Daisuke types his 'diary' (more like data files) online, so I came up with a genius way to keep my diary safe! I'm just going to record it on the phone! Brilliant, eh?
Kizune: Ok, so first things first. Today is November 1st. The past two days have been pretty hectic—people seem to like to call me…
Kizune: Several things happened: Fu ate my pads, Kaede tried to challenge me to a battle, Hatori was eating the phone cord again and Kou was being stupid. Oh, and Lana kept on yelling at me for dating Taka which I am not doing when it's Taka that actually 'likes' me. He doesn't like me like that at all, actually, but he thinks he does. I can see who he really likes.
Kizune: Mom and Dad are downstairs packing now, since we're leaving for Suna tomorrow (which means people can't call me on this phone). We go to Suna every month for about a week, and I get to see my Aunty Temari and her husband, Yuki, my Uncle Kankuro and his (stupid, obnoxious, drunk) bitch of a wife (who I purposely forget her name) and his four kids (I've heard from Dad that his wife has another one coming! How many times can he do it with his wife?). His four kids names are Kourochi, fourteen, Naito, eleven, Mamoru, eight, and Bao, five. Oops, I forgot Hatori. She's Aunty's kid and she's the most annoying thing ever (she's two). She follows me around everywhere. GO AWAY!
Kizune: I was just wondering, why is our caller ID 'Uzamaki Naruto'? Shouldn't it be 'Sabaku no Naruto'? Or maybe, 'Toshinada Naruto'? Of course, Dad wouldn't like that last one, but I think its funny how Mom still uses her maiden name. Heh.
Kizune: I can't wait till I become a Genin! It's only October, though, but after completing this course we can become ninjas! Being a ninja is pretty cool, but hectic. I wonder who my three-men cell's going to consist of. I don't really hope to be paired up with a specific person, but I know I don't want to be put with Inuzuka Kaede and her crazy pad-eating dog Fu, Kuniwara because he seems to hate me, or Ioku, because he's fat. But, I have no choice over the matter, and I'm praying to Taka's so-called 'gods' to be merciful on me and not put me with them!
Naruto: Kittling! What are you doing? Come down here and help us pack!
Kizune: Ok, ok, I just can't find my shampoo!
Gaara: I ate it. Now come down and help me.
Kizune: You're such a liar, Dad! You can't eat shampoo and live!
Gaara: I'm a demon remember. We can go through things that human's can't.
Kizune: O-O? Ok, whatever… end of Diary Entry 1.
+------------------+
Author's Notes: I appreciate the reviews! Lol it's only two, but that's more than I hoped for. /Hands out cookies to the reviews/ hey, if anyone doesn't understand the Japanese, here it is:
Moshi Moshi: hello? (on the phone)
Ohayo: hi! (normal)
Ja: Good bye (actually, it's supposed to Ja ne, but oh well)
Hai: yes
Thanks for reading!
