Summary: Having a blessing means that you will have a curse at another time in life. Protecting the jewel is no different. With the Curse of the Shikon No Tama- something unknown to those who haven't protected it -Kagome is starting to lose hope. If something isn't done soon, she may lose more than that... Sequel to The Games We Play

Rated M. Why? Because the first one was nasty and full of gore. This one is likely to be just as bad, maybe worse… Also because I have a twisted, sadistic mind…

"Talking" (duh)
'Thinking'

Dates Written:
July 7th, 3006
July 9th, 2006
July 10th, 2006

HolyDemon is Kagome, SpiderBack is Sango, DamnHand is Miroku, HumanPuppy is Inuyasha, and MoodyTomboy is Kikyou...

Hey, I'm thinking of getting a beta reader. I ran through The Games We Play and spent 1.5 hours with spell check. That's a lot of mistakes... So, I'm thinking that I might ask some readers to proofread my stuff so it isn't so... bad...

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The Hearts We Break
Chapter Two: Fuck Fate

Edited By: InterwovenEmotions

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Kagome slammed the door of her apartment. She just about had it. There had to be a cure, there just had to be. She stopped marching through the apartment in anger when she saw a pink slip on the refrigerator. She read it over then looked at the clock. She had forgotten that she had a doctor's appointment today.

And it was with Sesshoumaru, no less.

What a perfect time to tell him that she couldn't take it. She wasn't able to deal with her grandfather's death. She made a mental note to apologize to Sango for leaving so abruptly. What would you do if someone who cared for you for half your life died? Sure, it was expected, but it was still hard to deal with.

Tears filled in Kagome's eyes as she drove to the hospital to see Sesshoumaru. There wasn't anything strange about seeing him for check-ups and all... But it was just hard to do it after she had found out such rough news. She didn't want to be weak. Not in front of him, at least.

Kagome hated her weakness. She didn't want to show him that she wasn't able to handle things. She wanted to be strong. Sesshoumaru was always strong and always able to help her. He never showed weakness, irritation, nothing. She was different, and she hated it.

She had weaknesses, and she hated them. Even more than that, she hated herself for allowing the weaknesses. She wanted to prove that she was just as strong as she felt the day she killed Naraku and Andrew. She wanted to prove that she was able to stand on her own feet. She had tried proving that before and ended up dying.

If not for Sesshoumaru, that would have been it. Thankfully, he held a soft spot for her and brought her to life. Now that they were engaged and soon-to-be married, she knew that it wasn't simply a soft spot. He loved her. She loved him.

But she would never feel good enough for him just as long as she had fears and weak spots.

Kagome pulled into the parking lot and make a bad-parking job. She could care less. Right now, she was going to be late for her appointment with Sesshoumaru. That was bad. He would ask why she was late, and she would have to expose a weakness to him.

Kagome walked into the office casually and filled in her name for the appointment. She smiled at the lady behind the desk and was buzzed in. Naturally, she would have had to wait for them to call her. But since everyone in the office knew that she and Sesshoumaru were engaged, they let her in gladly.

Sesshoumaru's temper was another reason to not have her wait.

Kagome calmly walked to the office and knocked. Sesshoumaru grunted, meaning he was just doing paperwork. Kagome stepped in and smiled at him.

"Hey." She said softly. While he wasn't looking, she quickly wiped her tears away. Hopefully the smell of medicine and rubbing alcohol would distract him from her tears... Even if he was used to it, there were hopes that he would miss her scent because of those scents. Sesshoumaru slowly looked at her and put his pen down.

"How are you holding up?" He asked. Kagome blinked. Did he already know what happened to her grandfather?

"Sango tell you before me?" Kagome asked. Sesshoumaru smiled and nodded.

"We all worried you would take it the wrong way." Sesshoumaru said. He leaned forward and gently kissed Kagome's forehead. She smiled and slowly got onto the examination table.

"Okay... I looked at your medical history- or what it's supposed to be- and thought you might like to get a few x-rays and all taken. You're supposed to get that done every five or six years to make sure nothing is growing where it shouldn't be." Sesshoumaru said. Kagome nodded her head as he began to do his work.

"How long has he been dead?" Kagome asked quietly. Sesshoumaru sighed.

"Perhaps a few days. Not long." He said. It was true; he had died just recently. But it took them that long to decide how to break the news to Kagome. She had enough problems; it seemed, without hearing of another death in her family.

"And you're sure that it was of old age?" She asked. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow and looked at her.

"Are you thinking that someone killed your grandfather?" He asked in curiosity and annoyance.

"Someone killed Souta and Ophielia to get to me. Why not my grandfather?" She asked sharply. Sesshoumaru knew that she hated things right now. He wanted to help, he truly did. But Kagome wouldn't let him.

"What we know right now is that he was nearly 100 and that's a good excuse to say his age caused him to die. If you're really so sure that it's homicide, then I'll get some detectives to look into it." He said. Kagome nodded. She didn't want people to investigate it, but she really was concerned. What if someone was still out to get her?

After, roughly, an hour, Sesshoumaru began to lead Kagome towards the next room to be examined. Kagome's mind was on the test. Sesshoumaru's mind was on the problems in his mind.

"Kagome... Tell me why you do not trust me." Sesshoumaru said. Kagome looked at him for a while. What kind of question was that?

"I do trust you." Kagome replied, oblivious to the reason Sesshoumaru was asking her.

"Then tell me why you do not love me." He said. Kagome's eyes widened as she looked in front of her. She did love him. Why would he think otherwise?

"I do... Why..." She wasn't able to finish asking her question. Her voice was fading out.

"If you love me and trust me, then what keeps you from talking to me? I know that you still mourn over Souta and Ophielia's death. Tell me why you are not telling me anything. You aren't telling anyone anything." Sesshoumaru said. Kagome looked at him, taking careful note of the glossed look in his eyes. Was he about to cry? If he was, was it for her or because of her?

Kagome opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"This is what I mean. You have pain inside. I can smell it, and pain doesn't carry too much of a scent. If I can smell it, it is bad. But you won't tell anyone what's wrong. You won't speak to anyone about the problems. You just push me away. Not only me, but Sango and Miroku as well. Even Inuyasha is starting to worry." Sesshoumaru said.

"I..." Kagome felt tears fill her eyes as she tried to speak. It wasn't any good. Her words were failing her. Just like they failed her when she had tried to speak once again. Just like they failed her when she was raped. Her words were gone before she even realized that they were fleeing.

Sesshoumaru walked into the room and shook his head. Kagome could have sword she saw a tear escape his eye, but it seemed to be gone moments later. She blamed her vision while Sesshoumaru thanked demon speed. He would not cry for such a thing. No matter how much it bothered him, he would not cry.

He could not show weakness to Kagome. She loved him for being strong, and he would not be weak. He wouldn't allow himself to be weak just as long as Kagome loved his strength.

"Alright. Have you had any physical problems I should know about before running the machine on you?" Sesshoumaru asked in a professional tone. "Even if you think it's trivial, I have to know."

"Well... I've been having ache, a pain, in my stomach..." Kagome paused and rested a hand on her lower abdomen.

"You've also had a low appetite and weight loss." Sesshoumaru finished. After he had said it, he sighed. He had noticed it, but it seems that she hadn't. Perhaps she noticed the weight loss- women were always concerned with their weight. He looked at Kagome, who had wide eyes.

"You think I didn't notice? We buy groceries about once a month and you're lighter." He said. Kagome looked at herself. Had she really become thin without realizing it? No, she realized it. She wasn't hungry, so she didn't eat. She didn't eat and lost weight. Fast. The weight seemed to roll off of her ever since... Sometime after Souta and Ophielia's deaths.

Kagome nodded and Sesshoumaru sighed. "I need to send you to a gastroenterologist... The symptoms you have are common symptoms for an ulcer. He'll be able to tell you if you have anything." Sesshoumaru said. Kagome nodded silently as Sesshoumaru began running tests on her.

"Sesshoumaru..." Kagome slowly murmured as the last of the tests was finished.

"Hmm?" He looked at her like he no longer knew her. Like she was just another patient. Kagome opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out again.

"Not talking again, I see. Don't you think it's a bit juvenile now?" He asked as he helped her off the table she had been sitting on. Kagome shook her head as Sesshoumaru took her hand.

"I want to tell you what's bothering me... But the words won't come out..." Kagome felt a tear begin to fall out of her cheek. Before it had come out, Sesshoumaru wiped it away with his thumb.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. But I do wish that you'd trust someone and tell him or her what's going on in your head. I don't care if it's me or not. I just want you to start being yourself again." Sesshoumaru said. Kagome nodded and Sesshoumaru referred her to a specific gastroenterologist that worked in the building.

"Now, I want you to give him this note and he'll run the proper tests on you to see whether or not you have an ulcer." Sesshoumaru said. Kagome nodded and left him to his own thoughts.

She was having problems talking. He had helped the last time it happened. This time... He was unable to help. That hurt him more than he would care to admit. More than he would care to tell himself.

There are problems ahead when you have problems admitting things to yourself.

Sesshoumaru sighed as he began to fill out the paperwork for Kagome's visit. What was her reasoning for not telling him things, anyway? Did she truly not trust him or love him? Was she just doing a fine job at acting like she had done two years ago? He wouldn't put it beneath Kagome.

Her mind went through different things than his. He saw the pain that her lack of speaking brought her. What did she see? Promise? Possibility? Happiness? He didn't know, and he wanted to. He wanted to know what was making Kagome thing the way she had been thinking.

The marriage troubled him more. She seemed sure enough about it. But, she was an excellent actor when she wanted to be. He wasn't positive, but he could take a guess that she was putting a facade on. Why? What good would it do for her if they got married before she was entirely ready?

Sesshoumaru growled at his paperwork and got up. He would do it later. Or he just wouldn't do it. He looked at the door, which had been closed by someone else. He silently thanked whoever did that as he clenched his teeth together. His dentist would kill him for this.

Sesshoumaru felt the pain turning into anger inside of him. He tried to avoid anger at all costs. If he got angry, he didn't know what would happen. Now he was about to find out the strength of uncontrollable emotions. He opened his window and left, never telling a single person. Everyone in the office knew that, when he was angry, he left through the window so he could calm himself down.

Sesshoumaru stopped running at demon speed when he was out of the city and in the country. He growled loudly in attempt to relieve himself of the rage that filled him. His eyes slowly became red and his body began to change. He couldn't do it. He couldn't just watch Kagome destroy herself and be patient. It bothered him. A lot.

Sesshoumaru let out a long, frustrated howl once he had turned into his demon form. He didn't run around, like he usually did when he got upset enough to change forms. No. He wasn't able to think of running. He was exhausted because of all the things that were on his mind. The most important was... Kagome...

Sesshoumaru rested his large dog heard on his paws and closed his eyes. He would calm down before he went back to work. He had to. Otherwise he was likely to mess up and ruin something... or someone.

- - -

Kagome knelt down by the toilet in the office Sesshoumaru had directed her to. She coughed violently, her entire body shaking with the force of it. She opened her eyes to see her own blood floating within the toilet bowl. Tears filled her eyes as she sank next to it. The doctor said that she should go to the bathroom if she was having a coughing fit. She did. Now there was blood in the toilet.

"Ms. Higurashi? Is everything alright in there?" The doctor asked. Kagome slowly pulled herself up and opened the door. He looked worried, probably because Kagome's face had gone pale. Kagome weakly pointed to the toilet. He walked over and gasped upon seeing her blood.

"You are more sick than we thought. We'll need to put you on antibiotics immediately." He said. Kagome nodded her head weakly and slowly sat down on the examination table. She could have told you that she felt sick easily.

Something about this place just made her stomach turn and her want to puke... Or cough up blood. She wasn't too picky.

- - -

Kagome sighed as she opened the door to their cold apartment. She had been given pills to take for her ulcer. Apparently all the worrying she had been doing was damaging her immune system. Kagome walked to the computer, turning it on as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

She hated everything right now. She had her brother, grandfather, and future sister-in-law all die. Her mother's health was, according to the nursing home, failing. Kagome was given the house, since her mother said she would probably not be able to go back again. Her mother was preparing to die.

Kagome understood her mother's failing health. She was getting older and the depressions of the losses of her family were making her immune system almost non-existent. Kagome was young, so it wasn't so hard on her. But her mother wasn't young anymore...

Kagome grabbed a sticky note from the desk and scribbled something on it. She stuck it on the refrigerator so she wouldn't forget the next time she wandered by it.

Don't forget to get movers to sell all the furniture... Perhaps we'll be moving there...?

Kagome signed onto messenger, sighing. She missed her past. She missed everything when her only problems were being raped. She missed being frustrated with people for seeing her as a mute. She missed the little problems of life. Now life had bigger problems and she didn't want to deal with them.

She wished that she had realized how easy things were before. Now... Now things were hard, and she longed for the easiness that she had during high school. She now realized that her troubles then seemed to be trivial. They were nothing compared to the troubles she had now.

Kagome pushed the thoughts away from her mind as she opened up a conference.

HumanPuppy has joined the conference.

DamnHand has joined the conference.

MoodyTomboy has joined the conference.

SpiderBack has joined the conference.

HolyDemon: Hey, guys... How are you all doing?

HumanPuppy: Good.

MoodyTomboy: You don't want to know.

DamnHand: Tired.

SpiderBack: I'm sorry, Kagome... I shouldn't have broken the news to you like that.

HolyDemon: It's not your fault, Sango... I just... I knew that he was getting old and getting weak... It's just hard to lose another person in my family... Especially with my mother talking like she'll be dying tomorrow.

MoodyTomboy: Wait... Who died?

HumanPuppy: I'd guess her grandfather.

MoodyTomboy: Oh my gosh... I'm so sorry, Kagome.

HolyDemon: It's fine... It's not your fault that he died...

MoodyTomboy: I know... But after having your brother and his fiancé die... It must be so hard...

HolyDemon: It is... Makes my problems in high school seem like nothing.

DamnHand: Seems like you're working your way up the problem scale.

HolyDemon: Yeah, tell me about it. They're gradually getting harder and harder to deal with.

HumanPuppy: Well... Fate is bound to have something good in store for you...

SpiderBack: Says Mr. Insensitive. Geez, Inuyasha, can you sound any more heartless?

HolyDemon: You know what? Fuck fate.

DamnHand: Gladly!

SpiderBack: Miroku!

DamnHand: Crap... Forgot you were here...

SpiderBack: You FORGOT? I'm going to knock you into the next nine layers of hell for that!

MoodyTomboy: Aren't there only four layers...?

HumanPuppy: Exactly...

HolyDemon: So, Kikyou, how have things been going?

MoodyTomboy: Agonizing. I just started the morning sickness phase. I've started showing the weight...

HumanPuppy: And she's started the strange cravings.

HolyDemon: Like what?

HumanPuppy: Pickle ice cream.

SpiderBack: Don't blame her for the cravings! Things like that sound good and usually taste good when you're pregnant!

DamnHand: Sango's favorite was the salmon and crab milkshake.

HolyDemon: I'm gonna puke.

SpiderBack: Oh, Kagome. How did your doctor's appointment with Sesshoumaru go?

HolyDemon: He referred me to a ga... I don't even want to try spelling it. Basically, I was referred to someone else.

MoodyTomboy: Ouch. That sounds mean.

HolyDemon: Turns out, I have a stress-caused ulcer.

HumanPuppy: Ouch...

HolyDemon: Hey, guys... I have to go. Sesshoumaru is going to be home soon.

DamnHand: So early...?

HolyDemon: It's midnight, Einstein.

DamnHand: Fuck! I have to leave for work in a few hours!

DamnHand has left the conference.

HolyDemon: Good night, guys.

MoodyTomboy: Night, Kagome.

SpiderBack: Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow?

HolyDemon: Sure. Kikyou, you're coming too.

MoodyTomboy: What?

SpiderBack: I'll explain.

O o O o O o O o O o O

One too many words. One too many thoughts. One too many suggestions. One too many deaths. One too many fake smiles. One too many times of acting like everything is going right. When will this end? The guilt haunts me at night and the visions haunt me in the day... Or is it the other way around? Who knows what to think anymore...

O o O o O o O o O o O

Changed the phrase above...

Review Replies:
Veata- I'm glad that you can tell what the characters are feeling. That is why I write in the style that I do; because I want people to understand what people are saying and feeling. And, yes... It seems very likely that Kagome would say things about fate, huh?
RaspberrySorbet- Very well said!

Ugh. I'm not sure if I should keep writing this or not. I know it won't be nearly as long as The Games We Play, but I'm not sure if I should keep writing it. This might be only a few chapters, if I don't get any more ideas... If you readers have any ideas, send them in. I'll read each and every one.

Next Chapter: Loyal Followers
Reviews Needed: 60

- Lonely Bird