Fuuuuuuuuccccckkkkk this is boooooorrrrriiiiiinnnnnggggg… Ever since I moved out of Kris' place, I've been so bored. There's nothing to do, and I really don't wanna talk to anybody. My friends keep calling to ask me if I'm okay, but seriously, I don't know. I dunno how I feel about anything.

That shit with Kris is confusing as fuck. He's attractive, yeah, and I could see us together, but he says that I don't care about him? What was I supposed to do? I dunno how this shit works. I guess that's why his sister dumped me, too. Am I just a total shitstain, or what? I dunno where I went wrong… They said I don't do anything, but what am I supposed to do?

I guess I really don't do anything, since I spend most of my time either going to school or laying around at home. Maybe I'm not attractive because I'm not active? I've noticed that I have a bit more of a gut than I used to. Maybe I should get a job. I don't really need one, since between my allowance and dad's hush money, I'm financially covered. Is it weird that I don't feel bad about taking their money? I caught my dad with a prostitute—also a guy—and he's willing to pay me to not tell my mum. I feel bad for her, but at the same time, I don't. She let my brother have my room at home, which he's totally trashed. I miss Samantha, though. Sometimes, we talk on Skype and it helps me feel a bit better.

She tells me I should go out and do something, too, but I dunno what. Maybe I should join a gym? I feel like that would be embarrassing. Maybe I should start by getting me one of those home gyms. I'm afraid I'll just use it as a coatrack in the corner, though. Fuck… I'm bored. Maybe there's a club at school I can join? Doubt it. Maybe I should just quit dicking around and just call my damn friends back. For some reason I'm mad at them, though. It's like they took Kris' side instead of mine. Yeah, I know he's upset and all, but he didn't even give me a chance. I hadn't even made my move yet!

I dunno what happened. We used to be cool with each other. Then I started noticing things about him… He's attractive, but I'm not sure what to do with him, somehow? Ugh… All of this is messing with my head. If I'm not doing a good job at being with him, then what am I doing wrong? Or what did I do wrong?

I need something to do. I can't just sit around wanking off all day… Yeah, I go to school, but it's all I do. That's my excitement for the day. Maybe I should call somebody and go out on the town, but I dunno who. Maybe Alois is game. Though, I hear he's been spending a lot of time with Kris, so he probably isn't too thrilled with me.

Sometimes I go for a walk for some as-fresh-as-London-gets air. I spend most of the time loitering about places. Sometimes I'm asked to leave, and sometimes I'm not. Shit… I'm acting like one of those teenagers who just hang about and give people bad vibes all day in public.

I'm a grown-ass man! I should like, go get a drink or something… I don't want to by myself, though. It's more fun with people. Maybe I could go try to pick up somebody? It would help if I actually knew how to do that. Besides, the apartment's a mess… I should clean it today… I didn't know it could get so dirty. I guess I've just always had somebody else do it for me…

Wow. I'm a prick. Maybe I should send Audrey a text or something. Or Travis. Travis always knows what to do. Those author types are really good at this shit. Yeah. That's a good idea. If Kris says I should be more proactive, I will. I'm going to get my shit together.

I'm going to text Travis and see if he wants to go do something later, cleanup, and then do some sit-ups or something. Easy. I can do this. No problem. Then, when I'm all buff, I'll find someone twice as hot as Kris. Let's do this.