Candy

Harry, Ron and Hermione entered the Gryffendor common room to find everyone gathered around a center table.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked.

"Free candy," Neville said as the crowd began to disperse. "Hurry and get some before it's all gone."

"You're not seriously going to eat that, are you?" Hermione asked as Harry, Ron and Neville began unwrapping pieces of candy.

The three boys looked at each other and shrugged.

"Why not?" Ron asked.

"It's free," Harry said.

"Don't you care where it came from?" Hermione asked going to the table and lifting the almost empty tray.

"What is she doing?" Ron asked Harry.

"How should I know?" Harry asked.

"I'm looking for a card or something to say who this candy is from."

"Who cares?" Neville asked stuffing a chewy hunk into his mouth.

"Only Hermione," Ron said biting off a chunk.

"You know, this candy could be magicked," Harry said studying his candy.

"Thank you, Harry."

"No way," Ron said. "There are protection spells all over the castle."

"Protection spells can be gotten around, Ron. You know that as well as I do."

Ron and Harry exchanged a look. "Yeah, you're right," Ron admitted in a low voice.

"Give me half of your candy, Harry."

Harry broke off a chunk and handed it to Hermione.

"Don't take another bite until I get back," she ordered and left the common room.

"By the time she's done testing that candy, it won't be edible anymore," Ron said tossing the last of his candy into his mouth.

"Nothing's happened so far," Neville said. His cheeks were smeared with chocolate.

"He's right," Ron said.

Harry looked at his candy again. "It's not like someone could get past the protection spells with candy that kills. What's the worst that could happen? We all get sick?"

"Or grow tails," Ron said.

"Or turn into-."

"Snape," Ron and Harry finished together.

"Right. Hermione's just being paranoid as usual," Ron said.

"That's not nice, Ron."

"He's right," Neville said.

Harry studied Ron and Neville for a moment. "Ok, sometimes she can be a bit paranoid." He bit off half his remaining candy and chewed slowly. "Mmm. Delicious."

"Much better than what those stupid house elves feed us," Neville said.

"Better not let Hermione hear you say that," Ron said.

Neville gave Ron a strange and somewhat hurt look before turning to the stairs leading to the boys' dormitory.

"What's with him?" Harry asked.

"Who cares?" Ron said. "At least he doesn't suck at Quiddich."

"What?" Harry asked.

"Like you of course."

"What are you talking about, Ron. I missed the Snitch once in that last match."

"Yeah, but if you had half the brains Malfoy has, you wouldn't have fallen for that trick."

"What trick?"

"You didn't know about the trick? You're even dumber than I thought."

Harry didn't know what to say.

"We'd better get started on our homework. As dumb as you are, it'll take you all night."

"I think I'll do mine in the library," Harry said snatching up his bag.

Ron gave him a puzzled look.

"I wouldn't want to hold you back."


"Find anything yet?" Harry asked sitting across the table from Hermione.

Hermione looked up from a book with her mouth agape. "Harry Potter, you take that back."

"Huh?" Harry asked.

Hermione made a sound of disbelief. "I never expected something so rude to come from you," she said through clenched teeth as she gathered up her things and moved to another table.

"What is with everybody today?" Harry wondered.

"Hey, Harry," Fred Weasley said taking Hermione's seat.

"What's up?" George asked sitting beside Harry.

"Have you guys noticed anything strange this afternoon?"

Fred and George shared a look and shook their heads. "No."

"Nope."

"Why do you ask?"

"Everything was fine, and all of a sudden Ron tells me I'm the dumbest person he's ever met and I stink at Quidditch."

"Just because you made one mistake?" George asked.

"A mistake that has been made by probably every Seeker in the history of Quidditch?" Fred asked.

"Why would Ron say something like that?"

"I don't know. But that's not all."

The twins leaned in closer to Harry.

"I came to ask Hermione if she'd found any spells on the free candy someone left in our common room. All I said was 'Find anything yet?' and she blew up like I'd insulted her or something."

"Free candy?" Fred asked.

"In Gryffindor common room?" George asked.

"Yeah. If you want some, you'd better hurry. There wasn't much left."

"See ya," they said and left Harry.

"Hey, Hermione," Harry heard George say as Fred stuck a piece of gum in his mouth.

"What'cha doin'?"

"I think someone put a spell on this candy. I just can't figure out what spell."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out," George said as he and Fred backed away from her table.

"See you later," Fred called from several tables away and waved.

Hermione's head snapped up and she looked daggers at Harry.

Harry shrugged and smiled.

"That was not funny," she said fuming and turned her back on Harry.

Confused but swamped with homework, Harry decided to let the matter drop for now.


When Harry finally left the library, his eyes were bleary, he his fingers were ink-stained and his brain felt feverish. He entered the common room and stopped short.

The common room had been this quiet before, but never this quiet and never with this many people present.

Most of the room's occupants were staring at the fire.

Ron looked up, saw Harry and ducked his head.

Harry sat in a chair near Ron but didn't say anything. He just sat there staring into the fire.

"Did someone die?" Fred asked, startling everyone.

"Or did we lose another Quidditch match?" George asked.

No one answered.

"Tough crowd," Fred said, and the twins went to the stairs.

"Hold it!" Hermione yelled from the portrait hole entrance to Gryffindor common room.

"Uh oh," George said, and the twins tried to run up the stairs.

Hermione raised her wand, shouted, "Expelliarmus," and used an imperturbable charm.

Fred and George bumped into a barrier preventing them from reaching the top of the stairs.

"Hermione?" Ron called, a hint of worry for his brothers in his voice.

"The free candy was from them," Hermione informed her avid audience.

Several people said thanks; others applauded.

"Wait 'til you find out why," Hermione said planting her hands on her hips. "Go ahead. Explain."

Fred and George looked around the room, but didn't say anything.

Hermione brought her wand up.

"Ok," George said holding up his hands. "Yes, we left the candy out for you."

Hermione cleared her throat, still holding her wand at the ready.

"It was a test," Fred blurted.

"We developed this line of candy for our joke shop, and we wanted to test it," George clarified.

"On us?" Angelina Johnson asked.

"Gee thanks," Ron said and slouched in his chair.

"What was the candy supposed to do?" Harry asked.

"It did it," Fred said grinning. "It worked quite well." His grin fell when he glanced at Hermione again.

"It's insulting candy. We placed a confundus charm in it," George said taking candy out of his pocket, unwrapping it and handing it to Fred who took a small bite. "A minute or so after you take a bite, whatever you say comes out as an insult."

"Even if you say something nice," Hermione added.

After an uncomfortable minute, "You guys are incredibly stupid."

Several people gasped in indignation.

"See," George said. "The more candy you eat, the worse your insults are. Theoretically, anyway."

"That explains why Neville was being so mean to Hermione," Ron said.

"What?" Hermione and Neville said.

"You said she was being paranoid as usual when she wanted to test the candy," Harry said.

"No, I didn't," Neville said standing and facing Hermione. "I said we should listen to you. I swear I didn't say you were paranoid."

"It's ok, Neville. It was just the candy," Hermione said.

"You may have said that," George said, "but it would have sounded like you were saying Hermione's paranoid."

Neville sat back down and lowered his head.

"For instance," George said. "What did you say a moment ago?" he asked Fred.

"I said the sky is blue."

"How do we know he's telling the truth?" Angelina asked. "He could've really called us stupid and made up that bit about the sky."

"True," George said. "But don't take our word for it. Ask anyone who's insulted you today if they said what you thought you heard."

Friends began talking to each other all over the common room.

"So, you didn't tell me you hoped spiders followed me to bed," Ron said to Harry.

"Of course not. And you didn't say I was the worst Quidditch player you've ever known?"

"No way. I didn't even mention Quidditch."

"I didn't say anything about spiders."

"So, the candy must play on what the hearer is worried about," Neville said.

Ron and Harry looked at him.

"Harry, you've been beating yourself up about missing the Snitch, right?"

Harry nodded.

"And I'm always worried about waking up with spiders in my bed."

Conversations died down, and everyone pierced the twins with unhappy looks.

"I'm assuming that the effects of this candy are short term," Angelina said.

"Yes," Fred said.

"Since Fred only had a small bite, the effect wore off quickly. You heard him not long after what you thought was an insult say that he was referring to the sky," George said.

"Does it just work with spoken words?" a third year girl asked. "Or do looks count?"

"Just words," the twins replied.

"Then, how come Hermione was all ready to curse me in the library even though I didn't say anything?" Harry asked.

"That was actually me she heard," Fred said.

"She only thought she heard you," George said.

"Huh?" several people asked.

"We're working on a new variation," George said.

"Insulting gum," Fred said taking a stick of gum from his pocket and stuffing it in his mouth.

"Put this gum in your mouth, say something and leave to make it look like someone else said it."

Fred chewed for a moment, then mouthed, "Idiot," and moved down the stairs away from his brother. A few seconds later, "Idiot," sounded from where Fred had been standing beside George.

"Fred said see ya to Hermione while we were still at her table," George explained to Harry. "But she didn't hear him until we were several tables away. Remember when he waved?"

Harry nodded.

"Since his voice was still where it was when he'd said see ya, that's where Hermione heard it, so she thought you'd said it."

"And since you'd apparently eaten the candy, although I remember telling you not to, I thought you said something insulting," Hermione finished.

"This stuff will be great to use on your enemies," Fred said grinning.

"And, as you can hear, the effects of the gum are short term too," George said.

"Can we go now?" Fred asked Hermione.

"Should I?" Hermione asked the others.

"NO!"

Most of the Gryffindors stampeded the twins.

"I guess I owe you an apology, Harry," Hermione said sitting across from Harry and Ron. Crookshanks leapt into her lap with his ears back because of the sudden noise.

"Actually, we owe you the apology," Ron said. "We should have trusted you."

"Yeah," Harry said. "But why should you apologize to me? You thought I was insulting you. I guess that means I should apologize?"

"I'm confused," Ron said, and the three friends laughed.

"What did you think Harry said?" Ron asked.

Hermione blushed and turned her attention to Crookshanks, "It doesn't matter."

"Hermione, you know I'd never insult you on purpose," Harry said.

"I know. I guess I was just so shocked that you would call me…"

"Mudblood?" Ron whispered looking between Hermione and Harry.

Hermione nodded.

"They're dead," Ron said and leapt up to join the others who were still clobbering the twins.

Harry and Hermione shared a look.

"I would never-."
"I know."

Hermione caressed Crookshanks.

"Imagine Malfoy's face if Crabbe and Goyle got hold of that candy," Harry said.

Hermione smiled and reached into the pocket of her robe. She held up what was left of the half Harry had given her.

Harry and Hermione laughed, and rose to find Ron to help them set a trap.