A/N: *peaks around the corner* I may have to bring this one back, I just need a few more puns.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck


"So I was trying your method of asking people out," Morgan said, ignoring Chuck and the look of pain on his face.

"Morgan, we really need to get back to the meeting at hand," Chuck reminded him.

"No, go on," Sarah encouraged Morgan. "It's like he doesn't love me any more, he never tells me puns."

"I literally told you one this morning while I was showering," Chuck told her.

"Well, after our shower, my mind was a little foggy," Sarah admitted. Chuck put his hand over his eyes. Morgan held his fist out to Sarah, who bumped it and they both exploded it.

"Is that what you did, explode it with Chuck?" Morgan asked. Morgan shrank back in his chair with the look she gave him. "That's the line, that was too far."

"It's fine," Sarah said. "So what happened?"

"Well, I met a girl named Alexa on one of those apps-"

"Morgan, you didn't," Sarah said, giving him a slightly disapproving look.

"I can't ask out anyone who actually knows me," Morgan argued.

"Morgan Grimes!" Sarah snapped. Morgan and Chuck both set up at attention for that one. "You are a wonderful man, and if people don't like you for who you are, that is on them."

"I am so proud of you," Morgan said to Chuck, making Sarah chuckle.

"She kinda picked me, but go ahead, finish the story," Chuck encouraged him. "What happened?"

"I asked her if anyone had tried to open with her using her name as the Amazon device and a pun," Morgan explained. Chuck groaned.

"Ignore him," Sarah said. "What did you say?"

"Alexa, what's my schedule look like for Saturday night," Morgan said, a little dejected.

"You know, that's not bad," Chuck replied. "So?"

"She replied, 'You have a weekly reoccurring event called Drinking Alone.'"

"Ouch," Sarah said, wincing.

"I did reply," Morgan said.

"Buddy," Chuck said.

"No, it wasn't a shot at her," Morgan explained. "I said, 'Alexa, find me the nearest burn unit.'" Chuck started to laugh, and looked away. "No, it's okay, she liked that one, but…"

"You can't win them all," Sarah told Morgan. "Now, I have a meeting to get to-"

"But our meeting," Chuck protested.

"You two figure it out, and tell me tonight," Sarah told him. She walked to the door. "At least you tried," she said to Morgan. She looked at Chuck, grinning. "He doesn't even try any more." With that she left.

"Dude," Morgan began.

"It's fine, she wants to play this silly game, then I can play her silly little game," Chuck told him.

}o{

Sarah came back to her desk, her last meeting just ending. She pulled out her phone, took it off silent, and noticed she had some texts. She opened her texts and saw they were from Chuck

Titanic

Sorry that was a bad icebreaker, what's up?

Sarah laughed out loud and text him back

Well, aren't you clever? Does it have a high success rate?

Sarah put her phone down and began to go over her notes from the meeting when her phone chimed. She picked it up to see the text.

Titanic? No. Hell no. Sunk on it's first voyage actually. It hit an iceberg.

Sarah groaned out loud. From down the hallway she heard Chuck celebrating and couldn't help but laugh.

}o{

Sarah walked into Chuck's office a little while later. "We need to help Morgan."

"We do?" Chuck asked.

"Fine, you do," Sarah told him. "He needs help finding a date, so you need to give him some pointers."

"I don't think I'm the person to ask," Chuck told her. "I mean, let's be honest, if I had tried to ask you out, it probably would have been me walking up to you, saying, 'I've been thinking about asking you out, but I don't know how. Any ideas?'"

"Oh, that's nice," Sarah told him.

"Sarah, I was being serious," Chuck told her.

"Chuck," Sarah said her hands on his desk, leaning in. "If you help him, I'll make Valentine's day very special."

"Nope," Chuck replied. "I already have a surprise for you."

"You do not," Sarah said, straightening.

"I do," Chuck insisted. "And, before you jump to the wrong conclusion, it is not simply me saying, how would you like it if I pleasure you all night long?" Sarah glared at him, turned, walked out the door, slamming it behind him. Chuck held three fingers in the air, and slowly counted down to one.

The door flew back open. "How damn dare you," Sarah said. "I am at work and now have that in my mind the rest of the day!" With that, she turned on her heel and left. Chuck grinned. His phone went off, and he picked it up, smiling. He saw the text, and tore out of his office as quick as he could.

}o{

"So I told her, since it's Valentine's day, I've got my own arrow, if you know what I mean," Lester was telling the receptionist.

"What the hell are you doing here!?" Chuck asked, intensely, but quietly, coming into the lobby. "We had a deal!"

"About that," Lester began.

"No, no, no, no, no," Chuck said, shaking his head. "You promised, if Sarah and I took over, you would stay in Germany."

"I did," Lester admitted.

"And, today, is Valentine's Day, and if Sarah finds you here…you're gonna ruin my night, Lester," Chuck told him, trying to stay calm.

"You see, something has come up," Lester began. Chuck was glaring at Lester. "I've been banned." Chuck narrowed his eyes. "From Germany."

"The WHOLE country?!"

"It seems that way," Lester admitted. "At least my attorney has told me to stay away for a while."

"Oh my God," Chuck moaned. "Where's Jeff?"

"Still in Germany," Lester told him.

"Is he banned?"

"No, he's not, so you see, I had to come back here," Lester explained.

"Listen, go home, and I'll…I'll think of something," Chuck assured Lester.

"You're a peach, Charles, a peach!" Lester said, pointing at him and backing toward the door. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"Next week," Chuck told him.

"We'll do lunch tomorrow," Lester continued.

"Next month," Chuck replied.

Lester opened the door. "You, me, and your girl, tomorrow." And with that, he was gone.

"You are so screwed," the receptionist said.

"You can say that again, Daphne," Chuck muttered.

}o{

Chuck was sitting on the couch, Sarah in his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck, having just finished telling Sarah everything about Lester.

"How is Jeff even surviving without Lester?" Sarah asked.

"I truly have no idea," Chuck admitted. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, and hey, we'll get through it, together," Sarah told him.

"No, we won't," Chuck said. "You're gonna leave me."

"Chuck," Sarah replied, pulling away to look him in the face.

"He's gonna say something and you are going to straight up murder him and then who will laugh at my brilliant jokes?" Chuck asked.

Sarah snorted. "You forgot the part where no one will appreciate my legs."

"Sarah," Chuck said, looking at her like she was crazy. "You'll be in an all women's prison. Baby, trust me, everyone will be appreciating your legs." She shuddered a little.

"Talk about being scared straight from committing a crime," Sarah muttered.

"I had such big plans tonight," Chuck continued.

"You should stick to those plans," Sarah told him.

"Really?"

"Mmmhmm," she hummed. Chuck smiled at her, reached over, grabbed the remote, and clicked on the TV. "What are you doing?"

"I was going to watch a documentary on dyslexic optimists, "When Life Gives you Melons," Chuck told her.

"Jesus," she muttered, shaking her head. "I thought you had a big surprise for me?"

"I never said big," Chuck told her. She gave him a look. "You'll have to get up. I have to go change."

"There's a costume change?" Sarah asked.

"Yup, you know how you're always talking about me being in a penguin suit?" Chuck asked her. "Tonight I got one just for you."

"Is it…double breasted?" she asked, her voice catching.

"Can't tell you," Chuck told her.

"Will you…do a striptease for me?"

"If you want," Chuck told her. Sarah stood, reached down, and pulled Chuck up.

"Go," she said, hurrying him along. "I'll meet you in the bedroom."

"Good, I have it hidden in one of the spare bedrooms," Chuck told her.

"You mean one of our future kids' rooms," she muttered, heading toward their bedroom. She thought for a second, pulled off her clothes, and dived into bed, pulling the covers up to her neck, smiling.

"You ready?" came his voice outside the door a few minutes later.

"Hit me," she said. Chuck appeared in her view, and her eyes went wide. She couldn't contain herself and burst out laughing.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Sarah," Chuck told her. He was standing there, holding six boxes of chocolates, in a literal penguin onesie.

"God, I love you," she said, trying to catch her breath.

"I love you," Chuck told her. "So….you up for…."

"Don't you dare say it," she said, sobering quickly.

"Pleasuring?" Chuck asked, bouncing his eyesbrows.

"Get your ass over here," she told him, and he did.


A/N: I kinda love this universe.