A/N: I figured we could all use this

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck


Sarah walked into Chuck's office, seeing a very despondent Morgan. "Hey, everything okay?"

"No," Morgan replied, shaking his head. "I know you told me not to, but I've been using that app again trying to find some dates."

"Bad, huh?" Sarah asked.

"Really bad," Chuck told her. "Can I tell her?" he asked Morgan. Morgan nodded. "One girl he took out, asked him if there was any history of twins or triplets in his family."

"Okay, so, she's beginning with the end in mind," Sarah pointed out. "And that's not a bad thing, going into a date with the thought of having a relationship instead of a hook-up."

"That's what I thought she was doing," Morgan grumbled. "I mean, she was, but.." He sighed forlornly.

Chuck shook his head, looking at his buddy. He looked up at Sarah. "The reason she wanted to know was if they were to get together, she didn't want to be pregnant with triplets."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that," Sarah countered. "That's a lot of responsibility." Morgan looked up at her, sighed, and put his head back in his hands. "I feel like I'm missing something."

"She didn't want to be pregnant for twenty-seven months," Chuck told Sarah. "Those were her exact words." Sarah sat down, looking stunned. "I'm not trying to disparage the woman, but…"

"Maybe it was just some confusion," Sarah began.

"She later told me that she had been married in the past," Morgan said raising his head.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Sarah countered.

"He was much older," Morgan continued.

"Some women are into mature men," Sarah pointed out.

"You obviously are not," Chuck said, winking at her.

"But you know things," Sarah replied. "DON'T SAY IT!" she said, pointing a finger at him. Chuck raised his hands as if surrendering.

"They had gone to a movie, and when the announcement went up on screen her to turn off all electronics, she tried to turn off his pacemaker," Morgan explained.

"Okay, she could be a gold-digger," Sarah offered.

"That's what you're going with?" Chuck asked, Sarah just shrugged. "It gets worse."

"How?" Sarah asked.

"She told me that she doesn't swim in the ocean so she couldn't get impregnated by a sperm whale," Morgan said.

"Well, I did ask," Sarah muttered. "It seems like she just lacks some common sense."

"And then," Morgan continued.

"Oh, God," Sarah groused.

"She told me told me she was a Vegan," Morgan said.

"Was she cutting a steak and chewing on it as she did?" Sarah asked.

Morgan just chuckled. "She said, due to her medical condition she was required to eat meat, which she did."

"Okay, so if you have a medical condition and need to eat meat, you should," Sarah replied.

"But," Morgan continued, making Sarah wince, knowing something ridiculous was coming. "She still considered herself a Vegan, because she wanted to be."

Sarah looked at Chuck. "If she's blond, she's giving us a bad name."

"I'd say dumber than a box of rocks, but that's insulting to a box of rocks," Chuck told her.

"In the same conversation, she also said that she couldn't eat eggs because she was lactose intolerant," Morgan added.

"Morgan, I have to wonder if some of that was just an act," Sarah told him, shaking her head. "I don't think anyone can be that crazy."

"I am, for you," Chuck told her.

"Baby, you have this locked down, you are trying way too hard," Sarah told him.

"I'm gonna go," Morgan said, standing up, dejectedly. "If you have any friends that are looking for a date…" with that he trailed off. "See you."

The door shut behind him, and Sarah spun in her chair toward Chuck. "I might just-"

"No, no, no, no, no," Chuck said, shaking his head.

"Fine," Sarah pouted. "You know, now that we're getting married, it's like you don't even try any more."

"Again with this?" Chuck asked. Sarah just sat there. "Fine, I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?" Sarah blinked. "No good?"

"I mean, it's alright," she said with a shrug.

"FINE!" he said, exasperated. "A woman shoots her husband for stepping on the clean floor."

"Sounds a little stereotypical and sexist if you ask me," Sarah replied.

"Should I have it as a man shot his wife for stepping on the clean floor?" Chuck asked. "Or a wife shot her wife-"

"I'm sorry I said anything," Sarah said. Chuck stuck his tongue out at her. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Anyway," Chuck said, shaking his head. "A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. 'I have an interesting case here,' he says. 'A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.' 'Have you arrested her?' asks the sergeant. 'No, not yet. The floor's still wet.'

Sarah shook her head, trying not to laugh. "It's really awful," she said, giggles breaking through.

"He deserved it," Chuck said with a straight face.

"He did," Sarah agreed, laughing.

"I have one more," Chuck told her.

"Fine," Sarah groused, grinning at him.

"As Farmer Brown approached his neighbor's barn, he saw Farmer Jones serenading a tractor with songs and compliments," Chuck began.

"What kind of compliments?" Sarah asked.

"I have no idea, I'm not a farmer," Chuck admitted. Sarah shook her head, disappointed. "If I may?"

"You may, but in the future you really should know what type of compliments," she informed him.

Chuck gave her a look and continued. " 'What are you doing?' Farmer Brown demanded."

"Kinda nosy," Sarah pointed out.

"If your neighbor was singing to a tractor wouldn't you be?" Chuck asked.

"I guess you're right," Sarah replied with a shrug. "Continue."

"Farmer Jones replied, 'My wife and I have been having marital difficulties, and the marital counselor said I needed to do something sexy to a tractor.'"

She had her tongue between her teeth trying not to laugh. "That was terrible."

"You loved it," Chuck accused.

"I did," Sarah replied.

"You know what else you love?" Chuck asked.

"Don't you dare," Sarah hissed, her eyes narrowing. She stood, walked to the door, left, and slammed it behind her. Chuck held up his hand with three fingers up, he slowly lowered each and as his last finger fell, the door opened, Sarah walked through, slammed it shut, and turned to him. "What else?"

"Me pleasuring you," Chuck told her. He heard the door lock. "So, you're saying now?"

"Right now!" She told him, a gleam in her eyes and a grin on her face.

"God, I love you."

A/N: Take care all.