Thirteen

Oshitari decided to once again continue what he was writing. He couldn't believe he was roaming from a traditional romance to something so different from what he usually wrote. This was a whole different world from the heterosexual relationships in romance stories. This was a world in which he had never experienced. Then he noted to himself he had never experienced any romantic world but the ones in his stories. He couldn't believe he was actually doing something like this though. It seemed so forbidden and yet again in many ways the purest form of love. Oshitari felt almost guilty because it was because he wanted to have someone he couldn't have. Someone that he had just became friends with and barely even knew.

Finally the writer stopped for the afternoon and lay down on his bed and stretched. He felt tired and yet there was too much on his mind to actually go to sleep. He remembered what Atobe had said to him just a couple days ago when he had helped Gakuto work.

"If he doesn't make the first move then you should. If you don't then it will get nowhere."

Oshitari mentally screamed inside his head. He knew he had to do it and yet he was so shy.

"What would one of my characters do?" he said to himself and then an idea popped up into his head.

--

Otori entered the small restaurant already noticing eyes were on him. He smiled softly and sat with Shishido.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Long time no see. I haven't seen you in a couple of days. Are you okay? I was getting worried," said Shishido.

Otori fiddled with the silver cross on his neck awkwardly.

"I'm okay… You shouldn't worry about me Shishido-san. I just heave a deadline and I'm trying to look for my brother at the same time," he replied.

Shishido sighed wearily.

"You've been here for a year and haven't been able to find him?" he asked.

"Well, it's not the fact of not finding him. I found him, sort of. He just refuses to believe it and refused to even see me. But he's all that I have since my mother died and my actual dad is his," explained Otori.

That was most definitely true. His brother refused to see him no matter how many times he insisted.

"If you'd tell me who it was maybe I could some how help so maybe you could have less stress on you," suggested Shishido hopefully.

Otori looked back down at the table and then back at Shishido.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you… It's a really…fucked up situation as I think somebody would describe it," he warned wincing at the curse word he used to explain the whole deal he was doing through.

"I'll believe it. Promise. I trust you for one, and for two my situation with my family is probably more screwed up than yours so go ahead and tell me," said Shishido.

"Can we go somewhere that's less crowded?" asked Otori.

"Sure, c'mon we'll go to my apartment complex," said Shishido grabbing Otori's hand and leading him outside where chilly air enveloped them.

--

"I know it's not much," said Shishido as they walked into the small one room apartment complex that had a bit of a kitchen in the bedroom and a bathroom. It wasn't extravagant as Otori's apartment up in the mountains that was for sure but it was still nice and homey in Otori's opinion.

"And excuse my mess. I never have much time to clean up," Shishido added throwing a notebook in the corner of the room that blocked the bed along with a couple of books.

"Don't worry about it. It's nice, I like it," said Otori.

"I'm glad and yet surprised you do," murmured Shishido who cleaned up a little bit more before laying down on the bed and patting a spot beside him gesturing Otori to join him.

Otori blushed. Shishido wanted him to….to lay down with him? Otori shyly sat down beside him until Shishido pulled his down to lay down and looked at him his eyes looking glazed over.

"Please tell me Choutarou," begged Shishido using Otori's first name to show that he was sincere.

Otori blinked looking surprised and then sighed.

"My brother is Keigo Atobe. He's my half-brother because his father had an affair with my mother after Atobe was born. I know it sounds weird…but it's the truth," he said.

Shishido's eyes went glazed over to wide. Otori wasn't joking… Atobe was his brother and…Atobe refused to believe it because of his mother's death and how close he was with her.

"Oh Otori…..I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you and he have had to go through this," he whispered hugging the silver haired boy tight. He heard a sob come from Otori and his heart cracked and broke at hearing it.

"Shishido….it hurts so much. T-That…he doesn't want me as a brother and yet….h-he's all I've got. I'm all alone Shishido. Nobody wants me. Nobody loves me," cried out Otori.

Shishido almost forgot to breathe at that. Nobody… Otori couldn't see could he? He was a blind as Shishido was just a couple weeks ago. No, Otori was so wrong about that. He pulled Otori away from his so find chocolate brown eyes staring back him, looking watery, hurt, and confused.

"Choutarou, you're so wrong," he whispered and before he could stop anything else from happening. Before he could mask his emotions from Otori and stop them from taking over him he kissed him. He held Otori close to him and kissed him softly. He pulled away and continued, "You're so wrong. I love you Choutarou, I want you and I want you to be with me."

Otori looked shocked and a blush tented his tear streaked face and Otori then kissed him back.

---

Oshitari looked at envelope nervously and entered the shop finding Jiroh at the front. Wonderful, Gakuto was out of sight.

"Jiroh I need you help," he hissed.

"Hm? Ne what is it Oshitari?" he asked.

"Outside now," he said.

Jiroh followed him outside to the front of the store and they walked a little ways up the street.

"I really need your help with something Jiroh…," said Oshitari.

"What do you need me to help you with?" asked Jiroh cocking his head to the side.

"You can't tell Gakuto this is from me and you need to give it to him," ordered Oshitari,

Jiroh blinked.

"Fill me on the details," he said.

Oshitari inwardly groaned and blushed madly at having to hell this to someone he liked best friend.

"I don't know how to tell him or anything and it's too soon for me to tell him so… Just give this to him and don't let him know it's from me," he said lowly.

"Ne, does Oshitari-san have a crush on Gakuto-kun?" asked Jiroh innocently.

Oshitari blushed an even deeper red and looking down at the ground.

"Sugoi! So this is like a love letter from a secret admirer?" asked Jiroh.

Oshitari nodded too embarrassed to speak.

"Alrighty! I'll help you out because I know that Gakuto needs someone to make him feel good! Plus this is so sweet! If you can't explain your love for someone in words do it in the writing! You really are a romance novelist!" said Jiroh with a grin.

Oshitari bowed.

"Thank you so much Jiroh! I'm eternally grateful!" he said.

Jiroh giggled.

"How long with these love letters continue?" he asked.

"Until I can fess up. You won't have pass much. Can he text on his cell phone?" asked Oshitari hopefully.

"Mm-hm! He has e-mail too but if you want to send him notes every now and then and goodies then I'll be sue to give 'em to him," answered Jiroh.

"Alright, can you by any chance store his number, email as well as yours onto my phone?"

Oshitari handed over his cell phone to Jiroh who found the menu and dials in both Gakuto's and Jiroh's information and added Oshitari phone number onto his own.

"Once again thank you," said Oshitari with a smile.

"No problem," called out Jiroh as he walked back out the street and disappeared into the dark alleyway.

--

"Oi, Gakuto I found something in the mailbox and it's addressed to you!" called out Jiroh from the front room. Gakuto made his way in there and Jiroh handed him an envelope. It was an elegant looking envelope with dark red words beautifully written on the front with his name. He carefully opened it. Once again there was cream colored paper with crimson ink scrawled out in beautiful penmanship.

'Gakuto,

I hope you find it in your heart to actually even open the envelope and read this. I feel so unworthy right now writing this to you in fear of rejection. I must admit to you and myself that I've fallen in love you deeply and have been keeping an eye on you ever now and then just to admire you and watch you work. You've awakened my darkest desires in me and I can only hope you feel the same. You've really have changed me and have shown me a world that I've never have dared to plunge into.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer

Gakuto blushed madly.

"Jiroh this isn't a prank is it!" he howled.

"What is it? I don't even know what it is," answered Jiroh looking confused trying to look over his shoulder. Jiroh had actually already could read it all over his shoulder because he was taller but was trying to act as though he had no idea what was going on. He also had this huge urge to laugh at the romance novelist. He was so detailed with his love letter on confessing his 'deepest darkest desires" but you could tell he had an awkward time saying words like that. Who knew that a romanticist could be awkward at something they were good at? Love.

(A/N: -grin-)