November had come and gone, making a certain blonde menace another year older. As time passed and he recovered from his guilt, his schooling improved and he was back on track once more. When winter break came around, he was elated to finally be able to kick back and relax some, and his husband was looking forward to it as well. There hadn't been too many jobs for the Watchdog to do since assassinating Mathew Westley, and Ciel was rather bored while home alone. Aside from going out with Alois to celebrate the blonde's birthday, he hadn't done much but lie around the house and wait for something to do.

With December came freetime for Alois, making him able to entertain the bluenette more often throughout the day. It was something that Ciel was immensely looking forward. Alas, there was one small problem. December just so happened to be the busiest time of year for FUNTOM, so the solid month of devoting his time to the menace sadly could not be. The Watchdog was rather miffed about it, as well and openly sulked.

The pair sat on the sofa in the office, or rather, were in a pile. Ciel laid on Alois with his head on the man's chest and his arms around his waist. His husband wrapped one arm around his shoulder while resting the other on his head, ruffling his blueish-black locks. The poor Watchdog had just realised that he wasn't going to get his way, and lamented the fact rather conspicuously. Alois almost felt mean, being amused by the act, but here he was. He looked down at Ciel as the other pouted and sulked, childishly refusing to let go.

"It's not the end of the world, you know." said the menace while cradling his beau's head. "You're not going to be working nonstop. There will be plenty of freetime! It's only a few meetings. Leave the rest to your staff!"

"I don't want to go to meetings..." Ciel replied. "I want to spend time with you. I've been so bored while you were at school, and there's no missions, either. I feel like I'm going nuts."

"You really need some more hobbies..."

"I tried collecting things, but I don't know what to collect. Stealing Integra's lighters is no fun anymore." complained the bluenette with a heavy sigh.

"You can hang out with Lizzie." suggested the menace. "Or Logan. Or Bailey Senior! You sometimes visit them and spend time with them, don't you?"

"Yeah, but it's not the same. You're the most fun person I know."

"You're such a baby…"

"Maybe so, but you're stuck with me." quipped the blue Phantomhive, inviting the other to roll his eyes. "I feel like a housewife without anything to do."

"You need to learn to branch out, Poochini. Invite friends places, take a class, go exploring… I can't be there 24/7." Alois replied, almost sounding like a parent who was tired of hearing their child complain.

"Weren't you the one complaining when I almost had to take that trip to China for work?"

"That's different. I couldn't even come home to you. You can at least see me everyday. Don't twist things, Phantomhive..."

"I did no such thing." Ciel answered. "I was merely stating the facts, Phantomhive."

"You're still a big baby..." scoffed the blonde, continuing to stroke the other's hair regardless. "You'll survive having to work a little. Isn't it something to do?"

"I suppose." the Watchdog said. "I just want to spend lots of time with you while I can."

"Ciel, we're demons. You have all of the time in the world." Alois reassured, planting a kiss on the other's head. "If it makes you feel better, though, instead of moping, why don't we go out?"

"But my birthday isn't until the fourteenth?" confusedly pointed out Ciel, propping himself up on his elbows and lifting himself so that he could look his husband in the face.

"Silly, we don't need a special occasion to go out together."

"I know… I just don't have a plan..."

"You don't need a plan, either." Alois said. "Why don't we just go shopping together? We need to get Christmas presents, anyway, and we can just look around, too."

"Alright." the bluenette replied. "Let's go, then."

"You're awfully excited." giggled the menace, grinning at his spouse. "You'll have to get off."

"One more thing first." Ciel insisted, halting the other as the man attempted to get up. He leaned forward and pecked Alois' lips before finally separating them. "Alright. Let's get our coats."

"God, you're so fucking weird..." teased Alois as he watched the other head toward the door.

"That's why you love me, though. Could you stand being with a normal human man in a suburb with a dog and a white fence?"

"Ew, don't be disgusting." grimaced the blonde while wrinkling his nose. He stood up and followed after his spouse before parting ways to get ready to leave. He wasn't exactly presentable in his pyjama pants, and he needed his shoes as well.

The team finally reunited at the door after informing the others that they were leaving. Once they were outside, they got in the car and took off down the road with no destination in particular in mind. While commuting, they went over their options.

"So, what's the plan, man?" asked the blonde. "What's on the agenda? Christmas presents and what else?"

"I can't really think of anything I need..." Ciel replied as he looked over at the other man. "I thought you were the master of this adventure?"

"Nah, I need a co-pilot this time. I know nothing." stated Alois, laughing as he tried to keep his eyes on the road. "Well, if we're getting Christmas presents, we can probably at least narrow it down. What kind of stuff do you think Sebastian, Lizzie, and Integra will like?"

"Why are we getting presents for Integra?"

"Because, we're getting Elizabeth something and it would be rude to get Liz something but Integra nothing."

"What about Sir Midford?"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." the menace shadily jested. In a more normal tone, he added: "But seriously, we should send the Midfords a card."

"Why? I've never sent them a card before!" the Watchdog protested.

"I know you want to keep up your heartless bastard image, but it's good to stay on your family's good side."

"You're really into this 'married couple' thing, aren't you?"

"You are, too, you ninny. Don't even pretend." snorted the blonde before attempting to set things back on track. "But seriously, what are they into?"

"I'm not sure… Maybe a lighter or something for Integra? I have no clue for Sebastian or Lizzie. Sebastian is sort of an enigma, and he's not getting a cat. Meanwhile, Lizzie is Lizzie, and I don't understand the feminine sort of things that she is interested in."

"Why do you insist on crushing Sebastian's dreams? You don't still have your allergies, do you?"

"I don't want a cat in my house, crawling all over me and being in my space." the Watchdog stated rather bluntly. "I'm hesitant to get him his own computer. He would sit at it all day looking at cat videos."

"He already does that on his phone when he has a free moment. I've caught him a few times." thoughtlessly said the blonde, revealing the butler's secrets. "He really likes this one where a cat is hitting a printer while it prints something out. I've seen it over his shoulder more than once."

"Huh… I'm surprised he can work like that, to be honest..."

"Maybe he has a trick to it..." pondered the menace as they continued toward the unknown.

It took a while longer of driving to decide where to stop first, then it took a while longer to actually get there. The duo decided to look around the mall for anything that might tickle the fancy of the many people on their list of people to shop for. Alois decided to save Luka and Revy for last while they were here, as he already had a basic idea of what they would appreciate. Oddly enough, this was the same shopping mall that was overrun last holiday season by "Jacks" in the BlackJack case, where Alois became trapped with Elizabeth before eventually getting captured. Now, they were shopping for the woman at the same place, this time hoping that nothing would happen to hinder their plans. As much as they enjoyed going on cases, they were rather looking forward to spending time together while shopping.

Intertwining their hands, the Phantomhives ducked into several stores and browsed, mostly chatting and finding nothing that was relevant to their mission. Instead, the menace found things that he himself liked, both for him and for the bluenette. He started off so dutifully, but somehow managed to get sidetracked and buy himself a shirt or two, as well as a couple for his beau. Thankfully, Ciel managed to snap him out of it. Alois held a shirt up to him, trying to decide if he liked the colour or not on the bluenette, when Ciel said:

"Isn't this a bit small for me? If I put it on, it would be a bit tight. Are you sure you're not shopping for yourself?"

"No!" immediately let out the menace in a defensive tone. He had been caught by the Watchdog as well as by himself. He hadn't been thinking and now his face was turning pink. "I was just holding it up to scale, is all. I was going to pick up a bigger one..."

"But you already have one in the same size on your arm." Ciel pointed out, not buying his husband's obvious fib. He made his the man pout and put the items back despite the fact that he was somewhat pleased by Alois' actions. "So this is what you're into..."

"Shut up! I don't make fun of your 'interests' in public!" retorted the blonde Phantomhive, pointing his finger at his spouse's chest. Ciel, meanwhile, observed the man's actions carefully and raised his brows as he reached a realization.

"So you like my chest, is it?" playfully mused the Watchdog, making the other blush harder. Before Alois could speak, he added: "I'm glad. I like being found attractive by you and prefer to keep it that way. We really ought to be shopping for the others, though."

"Fine." huffed Alois. He exaggerated his expression and actions in hopes of proving some kind of point, but it only made the bluenette smile wider. The menace then turned to wander off to find a suitable gift for anyone of the people on their list while the other attempted to follow. Before Ciel could, however, his husband stopped before looking back at him over his shoulder.

"But for the record: it's not just your chest. I like your physique in general." the blonde added, prompting the other to lean down somewhat to speak softly in his ear.

"I like yours too." Ciel said almost inciting further complaint from the menace. The blonde paused, however, and his irritation seemed to subside a bit. It was then quickly replaced with a look of mischief.

"Oh yeah? What parts are your favourite?" he asked as he continued to walk while the bluenette followed behind him. Now it was Ciel's turn to blush his husband turned the table on him.

"Do I have to say?" the Watchdog asked, his cheeks changing into a more pink hue. "Right now? Here? We're in public..."

"Don't dish what you can't take, Phantomhive." Alois stated as he stopped to browse. "I'm not saying that you need to be graphic. Is there some hidden part of you that I don't know about that is into that sort of thing?"

"Of course not." Ciel insisted, keeping his voice down. "You would know if I did. Do I have to say everything?"

"Yes. All parts of my figure that you're into."

"I'm not saying it right now..."

"Am I not attractive to you?"

"No! I mean, you are! You're extremely attractive..." The palm of the Watchdog's hand made acquaintance with his forehead at fumbling with his own words. "That's the problem."

"Surely you can control yourself enough to keep it PG-13." his husband said. The blonde tried not to smile at his beau as he internally debated on whether or not Elizabeth would appreciate the top he was looking at or not.

Sighing, the Watchdog conceded. "Just your body?" he tentatively asked.

"Yep. I already know how pretty my hair and smile are."

With a huff, the bluenette thought for a moment, trying to not sound creepy or off-putting. He didn't give himself enough credit in that regard, and built things up in his head to be far worse than they actually were.

"I like your chest." Ciel said, rather boldly for the bluenette. "And your neck… and your back… Your stomach, too..." There was some serious hesitation before he continued, unintentionally alerting the menace that he was about to talk about the more "suggestive" places on his body that he liked.

"Also… Also your hips… And your butt..." the Watchdog continued. His eye unintentionally started looking at Alois rather intensely.

"What about thighs?" Alois asked, causing his husband's face to turn completely red.

"I was going to say that..." the other bashfully replied. "You have nice legs..."

"It's the thighs, though, right?"

"Jim!"

"What do you think about this necklace?" questioned the blonde, holding the object into view. "Oh, wait, do you know if Lizzie wears earrings?"

"Don't just change the subject..." Ciel said, almost scoldingly as the redness of his face traveled down his neck.

"I'm getting the necklace, then… It's not a lot, so we'll need something else..."

"Hey!"

"You seem a bit flustered." observed the menace rather bluntly. "It's really cute and I'm trying not to kiss you in the middle of a store while Taylor Swift plays over the speakers. It's tacky. We're going to have to wait until we get home."

"So in other words, you can't finish what you started?" asked Ciel, looking slightly unamused.

"'Fraid so, love." Alois said. "Sorry, baby, I have limits."

"How incredibly cruel of you."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later." the menace informed, reaching up to pinch his spouse's cheek.

Somehow, they managed to get shopping for Elizabeth finished, as well as for a handful of their friends. Both men were now carrying several bags, but they weren't done yet. They actually debated on heading back to the car just to drop off the purchases they had. Alois at least had a free arm to loop around his husband's, so he was content.

"Carrying these around is getting kind of old." Ciel said. "We don't have to leave. We can just drop them off and come back."

"Okay. It is getting kind of hard to walk like this." agreed Alois.

"You're about to trip me..."

"Not on purpose, dear." The blonde said as the two started walking toward the exit. Their bags were thankfully no match for their strength. A human would have had some difficulty hauling their purchases to their vehicle, let alone want to continue shopping.

As the two made their way toward the exit, they weaved through the crowd, paying no mind to the occasional glance they got from both the bluenette's appearance and their locking of arms. There was one unfortunate thing that they could not escape, however. It came in the form of a young man in his early twenties with a sparse beard running down his neck and a band T-shirt. His most defining features, however, was his trenchcoat and his trilby that was mislabled as a "fedora". As the man spotted the duo, he smiled before taking off after them.

"Doctor Phantomhive!" he called out, attempting to capture the bluenette's attention. He was successful as well, causing the man to turn his head and make eye-contact over his shoulder. What he didn't see, however, was the Phantomhive immediately turning to his spouse to whisper.

"Bugger… It's Bryle from class." Ciel lamented. "Don't look. Just keep walking."

"You don't have to tell me twice." scoffed the blonde, doing just that. Regardless, the student persisted.

Kyle Bryle was not the most well-liked man in the Phantomhives' criminology class. He was rude and had this bizarre sense of entitlement to him. It was as though he thought himself to be much more clever and admired than he actually was. Alois actually saved him from being murdered by a serial killer once before, but had yet to receive so much as a "thank you" from his classmate. Both of the demons found him to be somewhat of a pest. Ciel hated grading his papers, as he seemed to liken himself to an actual detective, and believed that somehow, Ciel was going to help him go pro. If he spotted them in public, they may never be able to leave. He would keep them there until they either diverted his attention or ran away, and the odds of the prior happening were slim, at best.

It was hard to slip through the crowd, as their purchases made it difficult to slip between bodies. It slowed them down, considerably, allowing Bryle to close the gap bit by bit. Even demons could not escape being trapped in a conversation with the man, it seemed, as Kyle drew closer, closer, and closer, still. Soon, he was right on top of them, and was able to tap Ciel's shoulder.

"Doctor Phantomhive!" he called out again. "Is that you? How have you been?!"

The bluenette cringed as he was caught, and was left with no choice but to embrace his fate. Turning around, he begrudgingly greeted: "Mister Bryle… What a coincidence meeting you here..."

"I know! Small world!" grinned Bryle, "Betcha you didn't expect seeing your favourite student, here, huh?"

"No I did not..." Ciel awkwardly replied as the menace stood on the other side of him, watching the trainwreck unfold. It was only then that Kyle noticed the blonde.

"Trancy is here too?" Bryle asked, arching an eyebrow in confusion. "What is he doing here?"

"Christmas shopping." Alois replied, resisting the urge to correct the other student. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking to see if they had the rest of the figurines of the characters from Game of Thrones at Hot Topic." answered Kyle. "You wouldn't understand it. It's a bit complicated for people like you."

"Yeah, you're right. I just don't have the time to try." nodded the menace in a heavily sarcastic tone. "Between school, work, friends, and relationships, I haven't got the focus to spare!"

As Alois grinned, Kyle frowned deeply. He had immensely underestimated the blonde, and that was a massive mistake. Bryle was not burdened with the task of trying to dig himself out of his hole.

"Really? That's a shame. I'm able to manage my time wisely, so that's not a problem for me." he said. "In fact, the girl at Hot Topic complimented my fedora and gave me her phone number!"

"Searching for your manic pixie dream girl, huh?" Alois asked, giving the other a piteous look. He knew that what Kyle was saying was a lie, however. "What's funny is, I didn't know they had a female cashier working today? We were just in there a few minutes ago to look for gifts for my little brother and one of our friends, and the person who rung us up was a guy."

"They probably changed shifts." quickly answered Kyle, carelessly throwing in the word "probably" and implying uncertainty in his claim. With a huff, he crossed his arms and added: "What about you? You sounded like you're in a relationship. Where's your proof?"

"Oh, I dunno… My wedding ring?" replied the blonde with pride radiating through every pore. He smiled at the other as he slithered his arm out of Ciel's and showed the other his ring. "Got married over the summer. The twenty-sixth of July."

"Bullshit! How do I know that's not fake?"

"Because he has a witness." Ciel butted in, stopping his spouse from getting riled up. "I was there."

"What? Why were you at his wedding, sir?" asked Kyle, not understanding it at all. Ciel was a teacher, so why would he be at a student's wedding? The man simply couldn't piece any of it together. He didn't question them shopping together, not did he take any sort of notice of their posture and how they were standing so close. They were arm in arm, for Pete's sake, and Bryle did not notice! This man wanted to be a detective, with was a concept that baffled the Phantomhives immensely.

With a sigh, Ciel answered him. "Because I was the other groom." he said, but the expression of confusion on the student's face did not change.

"What do you mean?"

"I was the other groom. We were both grooms at the wedding."

"So… you mean, like… a joint wedding?"

"No, I mean we were both grooms at the same wedding." the bluenette attempted to clarify to no avail. "It was our wedding."

Much to his exasperation, his former student only stared at him in response before he was compelled to bluntly say: "We were getting married to each other." Ciel pointed at Alois as he spoke. "I married him and he married me. We are married. He is my husband. I am his husband. We are both each other's spouses."

"My last name is actually 'Phantomhive' now." Alois added. "Not 'Trancy.' Understand?"

"Wait..." Kyle began, rubbing his forehead. "You're gay?"

"Bisexual, actually, but we are both married to a man." answered the menace.

"So you're gay." stated Bryle, causing the demons to frown.

"No, we're both bisexual." the blonde insisted. "We're both attracted to both men and women, but we just happened to both fall in love with and marry a man."

"That makes you gay."

"You stupid motherf-"

"Wait, aren't you not allowed to marry a student?" Kyle interrupted to ask the bluenette, causing Alois to further fume.

"We both knew each other from when we were kids." Ciel said, grabbing the blonde's hand and squeezing it in hopes of getting him to calm down a little. "I quit my job at the university so that I could marry him without any problems. Teaching was only a hobby, really, so it didn't really matter if I gave it up."

"But… I don't understand..." Kyle paused for a moment to try and wrap his head around this concept. "If you two were a thing this whole time… Why did you cock-block me with Laverne at the end of the semester?" he asked Alois.

"Because I successfully identified her as a serial killer and she was gonna kill you next if I hadn't been there." answered the menace. "You're welcome, by the way."

"What?!"

"It's true. Alois saved you." stated the bluenette with a nod, backing up his spouse's story. "She was proven guilty and now faces a life sentence."

"I didn't really have any interest in her. I have Ciel, after all. He's honestly a lot prettier." Alois said.

"But how did you know she's a killer?" asked Bryle, still overcome with disbelief.

"Well, even though I'm trying to get my degree, I really am a detective." explained the menace with a shrug. "Ciel and I knew each other since we were kids, but we're also coworkers. You don't need a degree to be a cop, detective, or even a private eye."

"Private investigators don't even need training. They can just start up shop. Makes me wonder how affective they are..." Ciel added, thinking aloud more than anything. His words seemed to spark something in Kyle, however, as the student's face lit up.

"Really? No training at all?" the fedora-wearing chap inquired, seeming excited. The Phantomhive simply looked back at him with an arched eyebrow, not sure what exactly the man was expecting of him.

"Yes?" the bluenette answered, confused by the man's enthusiasm. "Well, you do take an online course and print out a piece of paper, but that's about it. Most people are qualified for that job."

Ciel needed to say no more. His former student was sold on the idea despite not really knowing what all this occupation actually entailed. The poor soul. Still, neither of the demons were at all surprised. They knew that the man was going to try it, realise that it's not at all what he wants, and then quit, but that is something that needed to be learned the hard way.

"I'm going to give it a shot!" the man said. He reached out to grab the bluenette's hand, only to not be able to lift it because it was holding so much stuff. Embarrassed, he cleared his throat and continued. "Thank you, Doctor. I'm going to go home and look into it!"

Before Ciel could even begin to explain the job further, he was gone. He had vanished into the crowd somewhere to venture into the unknown. The bluenette shook his head and said: "I know exactly what he's going to do, and it's going to be a bad move."

"Is he seriously going to drop out for that?" asked the blonde, looking over to his spouse expectantly.

"Most likely, knowing his sort." Ciel answered. "He never really wanted to go to college in the first place. If he can find an easier route, he'll take it, but he's going to be disappointed. I know his type. He's looking to be the protagonist of some American-style cop show, but he's going to be sorely mistaken. No one takes private investigators seriously. They really can't do all of the things they do on TV because they aren't police officers and those things are very illegal. It's mostly sitting around for hours on end, waiting to catch proof of insurance fraud or infidelity. He won't make it."

"Are you surprised?" questioned the blonde, starting toward the exit again while his spouse followed.

"Not in the slightest." bluntly stated his husband. "I just hope he doesn't follow us to the car with more questions."


A/N: Kind of a useless chapter, but still kinda fun. I wanted some Ciel and Alois interacting some. It's been a while...

I still have no idea what I'm gonna do for the next arc hahaha...

It'll come to me eventually. Spring Break is here.

I'll try to utilise my time wisely...

"Try" is the key word, here...

Also: I almost called this chapter "Investigating Privates" but I thought that might be misleading...

Until the next chapter, my duckies~!


CHARACTER SHET

Question: "Forsetti, how's your sister doing? And do people call Tegwen "Teggy"?" by Honeycloud of RiverClan

Forsetti: "She's fine. She's nervous about being police chief, though. She thinks she's not good enough for the job, when she's probably the best choice, the way she is... Nobody calls her that. Usually it's either her name or 'Tegs'."

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Question: "Sam, how are you reacting to the existence of supernatural creatures? Do you feel like it explains a lot about Dan's friends. Are you now interested in joint the research team at H.E.L.L.S.I.N.G?" by TheShipYard

Samantha: "It's... weird... It's really, really, REALLY hard to accept, but more evidence keeps piling up... It's insane... I don't know if it explains a lot about his friends. I'm not sure if it explains anything. I do know that if they are out there, this 'H.E.L.L.S.I.N.G.' thing is a good explanation of how they're kept 'myths'. It's just so thoroughly explained... This is legit protocol-type stuff... I don't know if I want to join any research teams. That was never really my thing..."

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Question: "Hey Dan, what's your favorite part of working in Gehenna?" by TeenyTinyDemon

Daniel: "Mmmmmm... Probably seeing the people everyday and helping them. They're so nice. I didn't know that it was possible for a community to be this nice? I just really wanna make it great for everybody to live in."