I decided I needed to update this weekend because next weekend the new Avengers movie releases and I'm going opening day. There's a strong likelihood I will be inconsolable for the rest of the weekend and in no mood to write. Also, I will be packing more just as I am now. I've made headway, so I'm very proud of myself! Wrangling my personal library alone is a serious undertaking, never mind my other belongings.
Other stories I mentioned last chapter still are being worked on though. I have so many word documents open, ugh…
This chapter had more HashiSaku interactions than even I anticipated. That's not a bad thing though. HashiSaku is possibly the most neglected of all the SakuraxFounders pairs. It ended up longer than anticipated, and I jokingly mentioned in a discussion that I think Hashirama is directly ghost-writing in extended scenes for himself. Why else do his appearances always get out of hand? In general, even aside from the pairing interactions, this chapter had a lot of fun scenes. It's important to put those in while I can. Although angst and drama are fun too, but…I digress.
When a week without cataclysmic consequences had come and gone, Sakura wanted to believe that at least within the village walls, she could let her guard come down fractionally. But she knew, whether or not she'd seen him, that Tobirama kept a watchful eye on her. The man wasn't going to just let everything he'd learned go.
The suggestion of finding an in-roads with him and building up his trust in her to regain her sense of freedom wasn't a bad suggestion, as far as ones from Mizuchi went. It was just…how was that possible with someone like Tobirama Senju? Where could she begin to look for and find common ground?
Having him know the truth didn't make her feel any better. If anything it had only forced her further between a rock and a hard place. Mizuchi wanted to proceed with turning her into a godslayer, and Tobirama was willing to allow her to remain an active kunoichi if she committed herself to strengthening her abilities and becoming a…well, nothing short of an ace weapon for the village.
Neither was particularly appealing when truly, she yearned for a way home more than her next breath most days. There was a bitter loneliness Sakura couldn't shake, a sense of displacement that struck in the quiet hours before dawn where she would lie awake and mull over her predicament for what had to be well over the hundredth time. Absently stroking Usamaro's fur as he pressed his purring body in against hers was a comfort. A small one.
But she dreamed of their faces. Her friends, her parents, her mentors… She dreamed of a proper reunion for Team 7, and of a long-overdue girl talk with Ino. She dreamed of hugging her parents tightly, grateful that she got to see them again when she had joined the front lines never knowing if she would. She dreamed…she dreamed...
The moment she was ripped from them featured prominently in her dreams too. But instead of being pulled backward into a new time, relatively undamaged, she landed hard on barren ground, and when she weakly raised her head, nothing but destruction was there to greet her.
Bodies, so many of them familiar, littered the ground, some sporting horrible gory wounds and others not visibly injured but pale and lifeless all the same. Naruto, Sasuke, Sai, Yamato, Kakashi… The rest of the Rookies… Her parents… shishou… The Yuhi siblings…Madara, Izuna, Tobirama, Hashirama, Toka and Reira…all her new friends and her old. Gone.
Attempting to stumble onto her feet, noting she too was covered in heavy wounds, Sakura would feel the all-too-real pain and disorientation of trying to hold her mangled side together and still heal whoever she could find.
But a harsh blow to the back of her neck would send her dropping back to the ground, and as a hand wrenched her head back, so many evil, flickering eyes would close in from the shadows, taunting. "You shouldn't be here." Spat like some of Katsuyu's acid, corroding away at her skin and her soul.
Shooting up in terror, Sakura would see she had never left her room, or the comfort of the futon she resided in. All a dream, she had grown accustomed to telling herself. Typically she gave herself a few long minutes to get it together, shirk off the nightmare like any good shinobi would.
But as she sat awake, shaking with anxiety and cold in the dead of night, she scrubbed her hands down her face, and all at once the first sob slipped through. Sakura's next breath came out somewhere between another sob and a gasp, because crying was something she'd sternly warned herself away from the moment she'd arrived. For months, she had been able to keep going.
Compartmentalizing a great deal of her sorrow had been the only way she'd held herself together for so long. Going on acting composed and taking everything thrown at her with little more than an indignant huff, maybe an enraged screech when the situation called for it.
But truth be told, it was scary. The era was fraught with danger around every corner, not only in the form of surly future Hokages who at any time could turn against her, but deities that cared very little about humanity, and a seemingly impossible responsibility resting on her. She considered herself competent, yet it didn't change the fact that in the grand scheme of things she was only a seventeen-year old doing the best she could and adapting as necessary.
Sakura wanted to believe she at least had a few allies in this time period who would have her back, one of them being a goddess, but all the same she felt trapped and dangerously close to emotional overload. Every violent dream made her question her agreement to Mizuchi's plans. It could very well be an omen from the not so distant future. Where some wrong move she made caused both the worlds she cared about to collide, resulting in even more causalities than the last great war.
Sakura's hiccupped cry made Usamaro stir, and she could faintly see the cat's outline as he got to his feet and stretched with a quiet meow. Ever a comfort, he came closer, brushing his head against her wrist until she had no choice but to lower one hand from her face to pet him.
He continued to nuzzle her persistently, purring up a storm. The sounds rattling through her chest continued, tears accompanying them steadily. Sakura didn't bother to wipe at her face, figuring it was a pointless venture when the tears would only get replaced by more, since she couldn't seem to stop. 'Stop it, Sakura,' she scolded herself, biting at her lip. 'What good has crying ever done you?'
A pitiful moan that broke in two as it left her was the last forlorn noise she permitted herself. Afterwards Sakura closed her eyes and sucked in deep, shaky breaths until she was finally able to trust herself to contain her feelings to silent weeping. Most of them residual tears.
Swiping a hand under her dripping nose—why had she always been such an ugly crier?—and the other across her eyes, Sakura reached beneath the futon, her fingers ghosting across the cold wooden floor until they latched onto cloth and metal. Tugging the headband up, she brought it to her chest, dropping her chin and closing her eyes again. The hitai-ate, a keepsake from the war, kept her feeling connected to home.
Because there were days when time blended a little too seamlessly and Sakura almost wondered if she had dreamed up another life. Holding the tattered red cloth kept her assured that she had indeed fought with the Allied Shinobi forces, and she did have a home and life to return to. There wasn't a day since her arrival that she didn't take it out and use it for strength at some point. Morning or evening or middle of the night. It was no different now…
Then again, it definitely was. Straining against the dark, Sakura lifted the headband to eye level, staring at the engraved center. "I swear…" she said quietly, throat aching, "I swear on this headband that I'll do it. I'll make it home to all of you." She clenched tight fingers around what she considered to be her most precious treasure, careful not to let her strength bend or dent it. "So…" her voice trailed off. 'So just wait for me!'
Usamaro's paw pressed against the back of her hand, and she looked down to see the cat's observant green and blue gaze studying her. She could just barely make out the gray side of his furry face. Her breathing evened, Sakura slid from her futon and let the cat hurry and settle into the warm indentation her body had made. It didn't take him long to get cozy and drift off again.
She envied him, because after the nightmare and fraying mental rope securing her emotions, her nerves were awake and her mind was restless. What she needed was time to clear her head, and laying back down wasn't very appealing just then. Walking around the room, she dressed by the soft light of the moon, replacing her thin night garments with thicker, warmer clothing that layered, slipping tabi on her feet before her zori. Snow had stopped falling, but a glance out the window revealed how much had piled on the ground, and she wouldn't be surprised if there was at least five inches of it. Sakura wanted to be prepared when she set foot outdoors.
She set out, pleased that her precautions seemed to have paid off. While she hadn't completely escaped the chill, it was tolerable enough for her to go on her walk without fear of freezing extremities. Dark as it still was, she found her way through a combination of shinobi senses and the low-burning lanterns hung above house doors.
No one else was around, her footprints lonely as she wandered down the glittering white street. Clumps of snow had settled onto roofs and on the branches of naked trees, everything succumbing to the winter landscape. There was no particular destination she had in mind, so her pace was unhurried as she turned her head and admired the construction that had gone on in her absence.
There were more houses—she was almost sure of it—to accommodate more villagers. Earlier when she'd been to market there were more artisans than before, too. New restaurants like a noodle bar and a teahouse were doing good business if all the activity had been anything to judge by.
And street gossip said, though she hadn't seen for herself yet, that a new recreational district was underway. The village was steadily growing more like the hub of life she had known and loved. To see it all unfold was surreal.
Textbooks in the academy had talked about the first two Hokage and how they had spent a great deal of their time building the village up, how the Shodai lovingly made infrastructure with his Mokuton, and how his brother had later expanded it. Lots of reverence was shown for areas considered a part of Konoha's history. Shops and homes that were new here were well-aged and painstakingly preserved eighty plus years onward in her rightful time.
Of course, some of the original structures had been lost to the Kyuubi attack, sadly. Sakura had only been a baby then, but her parents informed her of how like the good child she was, she had slept through most of the chaos while they took refuge deep underground in the bunkers with other civilian families.
Other areas had survived it, just to be damaged or demolished in Orochimaru's invasion. And when Pein decimated the entirety of everything until it was nothing more than a sunken crater… Sakura had to stop her dismal train of thought, realizing just how many times her home had come under attack and been destroyed. Each time the people would rebuild, toiling together to restore the village they all cherished. The love everyone had for the land, passed down through generations, was something that would surely bring a touched smile to the Hokage's face if he knew.
A nippy burst of air stirred the hair across her forehead, but she shook it from her eyes with a flick of her head. 'Wow,' she thought with a silent laugh, 'How long's it been since I could toss my hair back like that?' Short hair was easy to manage, it didn't get in the way, and if she said so herself, she wore it pretty well.
But long hair had its own merits, and the more it grew out without her regular trimmings, the more she enjoyed the feel of it down past her shoulders again. As a young girl with hopes of catching her crush's eye she had dutifully worn it long for years, groomed it routinely and kept it shiny. Silly as it was to admit, Sakura could remember the exact fantasy she would always let run through her head when she was daydreaming.
On a lovely spring day when the flowers of her namesake were in full bloom and a mellow breeze carried birdsong and the perfume of honeysuckle, Sasuke would approach her. He'd take a piece of pink hair between his fingers and bring it to his lips, tell her how sweet it smelled and how she made such an enchanting picture with her tresses twirling around her in the breeze.
Sakura's feet kept crunching the ground as she continued on, looking up and smiling when she saw the academy finished and painted, appearing exactly as it had when she was attending. She stopped at the entrance to take it in. 'I definitely couldn't understand how much my life would change back then on orientation day.' Sakura smiled, hit full on by the weight of nostalgia.
Hard to imagine that her entire ninja career had been launched from a naïve wish to make friends and gain some confidence. Her parents certainly never saw their shy, insecure daughter making it to graduation, or it was unlikely they ever would have acquiesced in the first place.
For each time she would come home with red, swollen eyes and a slump to her shoulders, they exchanged wary looks and then gently suggested transferring to the academy for civilian children.
Sakura wanted to get through just one year of ninja school before she gave it all up, though. But before the end of that year she'd met Ino, her first friend, and her life changed yet again.
Under Kakashi's tutelage and as a member of cell 7, Sakura began going on missions, increasingly more dangerous over time, and they couldn't always hide their frowns of disapproval quickly enough.
So many shouting matches had spawned from her refusal to quit what was arguably the best thing to ever happen to her. Shinobi life was never what they wanted for her. 'They didn't always understand.' Her eyes drifted up. Such a nice night, perfect for stargazing. 'But it's still thanks to them signing that slip that I was able to enroll.'
Sighing, Sakura started walking the academy's outside perimeter, moving along. She wished she could apologize for all the stress she was positive she put them through… She'd never take back her decision though. Their daughter was a kunoichi, for better or worse.
Just as she rounded the first wall, another breeze lifted hair into her face again. What a night not to secure her hair… Sakura once again pushed strands from her vision, barely noticing something amiss in her peripheral. She craned her neck back and blinked. It wasn't a trick of the eyes after all.
There was a figure on the flat rooftop of the school, still as stone, just sitting there. Up until that point Sakura hadn't run across another soul, oddly enough. In a shinobi village, there was always someone stirring no matter what time. Ninja kept odd hours as it was, and many were naturally inclined to be active in the dark anyway.
But it felt like the two of them were the only ones up. Curious, Sakura nimbly hopped the wall, then into the highest branches of the tree that housed the swing Naruto could usually be found on during their time as students.
The change of seasons had stripped the treetop of a great many leaves but she was still hoping with the cover of darkness, if she was still enough she could blend in. Just long enough to get a peek at who else couldn't sleep.
Gripping the thick branch tightly, she leaned forward and squinted. She'd hardly gotten a good look when his—the build alone revealed that much—head turned in her general direction. 'Rats…' She could smack herself. He was a ninja as well, and she hadn't bothered hiding her presence.
"Hm? So there's someone else up at this hour?" Sakura recognized that voice… There was truly no point to even attempting to hide anymore. The rosette burst out of the tree and streaked to land on the tiles of the roof, only about three feet in front of the Hokage.
"H-Hokage-sama," They were close enough for him to make out the movements of her bow, but thankfully dark enough to conceal her flushed face. To be caught all but spying on the Hokage, as unintentional as it might have been, was incredibly humiliating. "I..." she had no proper excuse.
"Sakura-san," he greeted, sounding as friendly as always, looking up at her. "I didn't really picture you as a kunoichi who keeps such late hours. Ah," he paused. "Not that I've been trying to imagine when you are most active. That would be a little strange in itself." Sakura genuinely found it amusing how frequently this man, a shinobi that stood peerless in his prime, could talk himself into awkward conversations.
"I understand." she assured him. "Actually I was just out for a walk to clear my head. Then I saw someone sitting up here…"
"Maybe there's something about nights like this that make it easy to become restless." Hashirama muttered, almost as if he didn't mean for her to hear. "Thinking under an open sky full of stars always feels like it helps me sort through whatever's troubling me. You're welcome to join me if you'd like."
Sakura started to shake her head, not expecting that. The last thing she wanted was to disrupt the Hokage while he was in the middle of his contemplation. "No, I'm already interrupting enough as is. Sorry—"
Hashirama straightened and fully met her eyes. In the patch of moonlight that fell over him, his expression had become a firm one. "No, Sakura-san, I insist that you stay. I'd like the company for a change." Her heart squeezed, and she sank down next to him wordlessly.
The seconds ticked by in silence with Sakura staring blankly out over the academy courtyard, trying to figure out how one minute she'd been prepared to leave and the next she'd plopped right down. 'What the hell happened?' Suddenly he was so authoritative, and she could see the similarities between him and his brother. Hell, shishou had given her that don't-argue-with-me tone a time or twelve.
While she got her pitter-pattering heart back in check, Hashirama leaned back and observed the expanse of vast, starry sky. So many were out, and it was clear enough to see every grouping. They twinkled proudly like a generous number of diamonds sewn into black silk. "On nights like this, I think about them, and I really wish they could see it." Hashirama whispered. "They deserved to see it."
Sakura at first couldn't decide if she should respond, her eyes darted between the beauty of nature's masterpiece and Hashirama's thoughtful profile. "Someone you lost?" she ventured.
"Yes…" he made a soft noise of agreement, eyes still trained above them. "My younger brothers, Itama and Kawarama."
Afraid he'd stop speaking if she reacted too dramatically, Sakura gave a mute nod. So he had more brothers. Nothing they learned in school about the Founders era ever mentioned that, so it was likely his brothers died during the pre-village system era referred to as the Warring Clans period, when Hashirama would have been a child himself. In regards to the early lives of Madara and the Senju brothers specifically, lots of details were unknown. Lessons only told them about the general atrocities. Young children were often casualties of never-ending fighting then, placed on the frontlines long before they were ready.
"Not just them either," he continued, his voice growing stronger with passion. "All the other children who lost their lives fighting grown-up battles, too." She saw his fist clench tight on top of his thigh, barely fighting the instinct to take his hand and uncurl it. "If there'd been a Konoha would it have made a difference? Could it have saved them?" When he chuckled, it was nothing like his exuberant laughter that filled a room, but a brittle sound. "Those are the kinds of questions Tobirama would berate me for even considering…but I think I have to." He nodded twice. "I've mulled it over so many times and I have to believe that this village will protect its children the way it wasn't there to protect all the others."
If Sakura weren't a medic who hadn't logged hours upon hours into studying the human heart, and if she didn't know it was a pumping mass of muscle tissue and veins and blood and organic matter, she would swear that her heart was ceramic, cracked right up the middle as future knowledge beat against its sides.
She was more grateful than ever for the low visibility that could cover her weak smile and watery eyes from him. Tonight was no good for the delicate state of her emotions, as it turned out. If he knew what she did, about the village's future, would he be proud? Or would Konoha's shortcomings discourage him?
Knowing more about the kind of man he was firsthand now, Sakura had a feeling that hearing tales about the Uchiha Massacre that had left Sasuke a tormented husk of the happy boy he'd been, and about Naruto's long years of suffering, and the callous misdeeds against children for the "betterment" of the village conducted by ROOT, would break his heart.
She hastily pressed a palm to her eye. Well no dream was without heartbreak. There would always be flaws to smooth out, higher goals to aim for, and people who got hurt… In that way she thought she could understand Tobirama's less idealistic approach incredibly well. Maybe he troubled himself with those thoughts so his brother wouldn't have to. So he could keep dreaming.
Not much different than the way she'd come to have so much desire for Naruto to achieve his dream she'd put her life on the line for it without question. Although it was clear to her Hashirama wasn't striving for a brighter future with an unburdened heart.
"I'm sorry." The shock of the clear apology pulled her out of her own mind.
"Huh?" she said, intelligently.
"I told you that you were welcome to sit here and clear your head, then I say things that make that impossible."
"I don't mind," she admitted. When Hashirama loved Konoha and its people so much he broke his heart over them it was impossible not to want to offer the shoulder he was denying himself. "Hokage-sama has a lot of people to consider every time he makes a decision." Tentatively, she placed a hand on his shoulder. 'I'm sitting beside him, but I still have to reach up so far just to touch it.'
Hashirama took note of her hand, then smiled softly. "Thank you for listening, although I still feel guilty for making you."
"Trust me, this is far from the worst conversation that's been forced on me." Sakura smirked, unable to catch herself. Naruto could ramble on about noodle and miso soup combinations all morning long. Ino was just as bad when it came to expressing the many ways in which her team annoyed her.
There was some unspoken relief at seeing that his answering grin was much more genuine and easygoing. "I have to try harder. I could regale you with tales of Bukkai's growth over the last few months. Tobirama tells me that's enough to make the dead cover their ears."
Sakura joined him in a shared laugh. "I'm glad I chose well."
"Of course," he hummed. "I've always had an affinity for plants since childhood. I assume it's related to the Mokuton."
Sakura had studied his cells when she'd help Shizune take apart the dead Zetsu, but all that told her was the genetic material was a match to Hashirama's and that strengthened the strange plant-like entity's abilities. In the midst of war she hadn't exactly had time to do a deep analysis that would have led to unlocking the Mokuton's secrets by any means.
She was intrigued to hear the First Hokage's take on his own power. "That would make sense. Maybe contact with you stimulates healthy growth in a process similar to osmosis?"
"I've had that theory for a while," Hashirama raised a brow, pleasantly surprised. "You're very astute, Sakura-san."
Sakura ducked her head despite being vaguely aware that the pink on her cheeks wasn't bad enough for him to notice. High praise from a shinobi as impressive as he was sent a flutter of elation through her stomach nonetheless.
"When you start out with so many handicaps, you have to be sure to build strength in the area you are decent in." she mumbled. "For me that was sucking in as much knowledge as possible."
"Oh?" The waxing moon was directly overhead and it was easy to see each other if they tried. Hashirama looked doubtful. "There's nothing subpar about the combat skills I witnessed in your spar with Tobirama, and you're certainly impressive enough to gain Toka's respect."
"Well…"
"I can tell Izuna holds you in high regard as well." Sakura couldn't figure out why his voice almost sounded…strained. "I'd bet that Madara's opinion of you has changed over time, too."
"That remains to be seen." she scoffed.
"Madara is still enough like himself that I can tell these things," Hashirama insisted. "I've known him since we were boys." Flashing her a conspiratorial look, he said, "I doubt he remembers all the secrets I've learned about him over the years."
"We should exchange information sometime," she suggested coyly. "I'm pretty sure I witnessed a good year's worth of his embarrassment in a few weeks. That has to be a record."
Hashirama shook with laughter. "Whenever his memories return he'll be livid."
Sakura thought about all the jokes she and Izuna had played at Madara's expense. "I think Izuna's counting on it." It gave her good insight on why Naruto was such a prankster. It was much more fun than she'd willingly admit.
"Did he tell you about the time he, Naoko and I convinced Madara he was being haunted by the spirit of the forest for all the animals he hunted?"
Sakura imagined Madara jumping at every small noise while trying to downplay his paranoia and she doubled over in laughter. Hashirama explained the story between his own chuckles. When she was able to stop laughing her stomach and cheeks were sore, but knowing about that story was well worth it.
It dawned on her then how much talking to Hashirama had lifted her glum mood. She could forget all the problems that brought her out for a walk in the middle of the night in the first place, just converse as if they were old friends.
A streak across the sky up above caught her eye and she gasped. "Was that a shooting star?"
"They're pretty easy to see on clear nights like this one."
Sakura clasped her hands together and closed her eyes. 'I wish…I want…' she fumbled over the words even though they never left her tongue. But she managed to get it out into one cohesive wish, and her heart felt a little lighter.
Slowly opening her eyes made her blush, thinking Hashirama must think it was bizarre for her to wish on shooting stars at her age. But he was only just opening his own eyes, brown meeting green in total understanding.
"It's nice not to be the only one who still feels compelled to do that." he said.
"I guess there's just something magical about seeing one," Sakura considered. "You can pretend making what you want most come true is as easy as wishing it."
Hashirama crossed his legs together and rested his arms on his knees, gazing at the sky almost wistfully. "Those kind of shortcuts just don't exist in reality though, do they?"
"No," Sakura agreed. "They don't."
Easy silence stretched between them. They both had their sights set on the stars, soaking up the peaceful atmosphere.
Sunrise would be in a few hours, bringing another day with its own challenges and possibilities, but the moment kept all that at bay.
"Heavens garments are without seams." She heard him say.
'On the contrary, it's seeming more and more like the heavens can't get their shit together.' Sakura thought.
"You were right about a good view," Sakura grinned. "I can even see the constellations. That's the OoInu over there, I think." She pointed slightly to the left where she was confident it would be.
Hashirama followed her finger. "Actually…" She could feel his body heat as he moved closer, even through her four layers, and when he gently wrapped his large hand around the back of hers to guide her finger she withheld a squeak. "That's the KoInu. The OoInu is here."
Her face and neck were warm at their sudden proximity and her heart was skipping every other beat. She could feel the power in his hand despite the mild grip, and smell the earthy but pleasant musk that had to be Hashirama himself, but it was no big deal. She could just…deal with it.
"Right," she whispered. "But I know that's Ryouken." Sakura moved her hand again to point at another constellation but Hashirama held on. He craned his head to see better and strands of his hair tickled the sensitive skin of her neck, forcing her to hold in a noise between a gasp and a giggle.
"Sakura-san," he looked down at her with mirthful eyes. "You're pointing at Karasu. It's not really even close."
She scowled, squirming as she felt his quiet laughter. "Fine. I'm not very good, I know."
He released her hand, and she drew it into her lap, secretly missing the heat and comfort. That was just the cold talking. "Does it bother you that much?" Sakura blinked. At first, embarrassingly, she assumed he meant that he'd stopped holding her hand. But his question was directed at her apparent ineptitude for identifying constellations.
"Yes and no?" she tried, "It's not like it would be the first time…I know what it feels like to fail. I'd just really rather not."
"Hm," Hashirama leaned back with a wistful tilt of his head. "That sounds like a much milder version of my brother's philosophy."
Everything Sakura knew about the man who would one day be Nidaime suggested he wasn't a fan of being denied success. At anything. What other kind of person would devise a way to achieve optimal performance on the battlefield from living corpses? 'Hm…I wonder if there'd be a way to stop him from trying that. It would save everyone so much pain in the future.'
"Has he always been…" Sakura searched for a word that wouldn't offend him. Tobirama's bedside manner aside, he was still the Hokage's brother.
"So ornery?" Hashirama finished.
Sakura squinted. "Sure, that."
"You could say that even from a young age he was more reticent than most,"
'So he was a grumpy old man from birth.' Sakura decided.
Hashirama rested two fingers under his chin in a loose grip. "I remember our parents introducing us shortly after he was born. I wasn't much older than a toddler myself. Our mother was holding him, all wrapped in furs that he nearly blended right into." Sakura listened raptly as he recounted a tale she was positive no history book had ever contained. "I expected a baby to be crying. But he just stared right back at me with the most unimpressed face a newborn could ever make." Sakura grinned at the fondness in his voice. "I tried to touch him, but he grabbed my finger and almost crushed it without ever breaking eye contact." Hashirama rubbed at his neck. "I ended up being the one crying. …That's my very first memory of Tobirama."
Sakura had no trouble imagining that Tobirama had arrived into the world already well and truly done with everyone and everything. "So it's only gotten worse with age…" she mused aloud before catching herself. "Oh, I mean—"
Hashirama burst out laughing, placing a warm hand on her arm to steady himself. "That's possible. I've been dealing with it for so long I hardly notice anymore." he calmed himself down with a sigh. "The perfectionism has been present nearly as long as the attitude."
The vision in her mind of a grumpy, self-sufficient baby Tobirama toddling around at a foot tall had her choking on a laugh.
"He wouldn't talk for nearly two years, so everyone assumed he couldn't."
Sakura's eyes found his face in the dark again. "What was the real reason?"
Hashirama scratched at his cheek with a wry tilt of his lips. "Apparently he couldn't be bothered speaking all that time because he wanted his first words to be clearly understood. So it'd be easier to scold everyone for the 'indignity' he was 'subjected to' because of the constant gushing directed at him." A two year old sassing anyone who dared to coo at him? If anyone would, it would be Tobirama. "He really was a cute baby—even when he was unhappy with something."
Sakura could feel the dubious expression on her face. "I think you're right. I might have a tendency or two that leans toward perfectionism, but nothing that…severe."
She could have sworn she heard him mutter what sounded like, "thankfully."
"I do wish that maybe I could find common ground with him," she confessed. "At the very least we had a working relationship before." Granted, Sakura could understand the wariness. Before any revelations about deities and time-travel, if she had been faced with a strange person with a volatile power who she didn't really know skulking around, they might find themselves on the sharp end of her suspicions too.
"Well, Tobirama has a great appreciation for intellect and anyone who takes responsibility seriously. Everything I've learned about you suggests you have both qualities in abundance." Standing to his feet, he offered her a hand. Sakura hesitated before taking it. She hardly had time to note the calloused heat before he was dragging her up.
"Thank you," Sakura had to crane her neck back, the disadvantaged one in their height differences. She could elaborate, but chose to keep it simple. Something told her he would understand.
The moonlight illuminated them as they stood close together, so she could see the kindness in his eyes. "The Hokage always has to be ready to provide an open ear, day or night." he winked.
"It won't be night for much longer."
"Which is exactly why I should be getting back in. An open ear." he repeated, tugging at his earlobe. "All day."
Sakura distinctly remembered how much Tsunade usually loathed receiving days. She or Shizune always tried to be on standby to offer a more pleasantly smiling alternative than whoever came to the Hokage for help having to look into a dour face. While she was more than competent at her job, her mentor's patience came and went. But she could see Hashirama likely being the opposite, patiently listening to the concerns of his villagers and shinobi with an encouraging smile.
"When do you actually rest?" Sakura asked in awe.
"Whenever Tobirama's not looking."
The erratic weather made it hard to decide what to wear lately; but since the sun was out and it wasn't snowing, the young Uchiha decided to split the middle with a long-sleeved shirt, pants, and a scarf his obaa-san had made him the previous winter. It was, after all, still chilly.
His breath came out in short pants as the academy came into view, and his friends with it. They'd all agreed to meet early, mostly because Reira would have dragged them there before anyone else anyway, but also because Kagami didn't want to be forced to endure a walk with the others from his clan who would be entering. Mainly it was having to deal with Manabu so early in the morning.
Chisato, bundled in her normal jacket, gazed in his general direction and then turned and said something to Reira, who was clearly in the middle of some excited chattering. She turned with a gasp and waved him over, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Kagami grinned, glad to see her bearing a semblance of her old self today.
"Kagami-kun!" she yelled in his ear as soon as he stopped beside them. "This is it!" she grabbed his shoulders, shaking him with a scarily wide smile. "We're gonna get headbands! We're gonna be ninja!" She raised a fist in the air, whipping her head to look at Chisato then back at him. Taking the cue, he slowly lifted a fist of his own, as did the quiet Aburame girl, and Reira gave an impassioned cry that echoed in the frosty air.
"Is your face alright?" he chuckled, pressing both his index fingers to her cold cheeks.
"Not sure." She chirped, speaking through an impossibly wide smile. "Might be stuck this way now. Guess I'll know in an hour."
Chisato placed her mitten-covered hands against their friend's face and Reira sighed in content, though the dopey grin didn't fade. "Chisa-chan, I always say you're cool. But I'm happy you're so warm."
Chisato stepped away, unceremoniously pulling her jacket up and then jamming it down over a startled Reira. Kagami looked on in bewilderment as the brunette flailed and squawked from the inside of the baggy jacket, her head and shoulders covered.
"Chisa-chan, w-what're you doing?" Reira's muffled voice asked in alarm. "But I admit it's pretty warm in here…"
"My insects retreat into my body to escape the cold." she explained. "I thought Reira could benefit from shelter, too."
The Uchiha tilted his head dubiously. "Um, the gesture's nice but I think she's just too big." At that moment Reira's disheveled head popped out of the jacket's neck hole, making the girls look like a strange two-headed beast.
"He's right," Reira grumbled. "Thanks for trying Chisa-chan but this is just weird." She wiggled her way out, smoothing her hair down with a heavy sigh. "Can't we just huddle up for warmth for a while? Look at how long Kagami-kun's scarf is."
He hadn't paid much attention when he'd looped it around his neck on his way out the door, but Reira was right. The thick material and considerable length could wrap around all of them. "I don't mind,"
The words had barely left his mouth before the girls were rushing at him. An undignified squeak may have escaped when Chisato grabbed one arm and pressed close while Reira focused rewrapping the scarf so it draped around all three of them equally. Soon Kagami found himself snugly in between them both, blushing in spite of himself when Reira rubbed her face into the scarf, and in the process, his.
'I…I didn't think this through.' He lamented, but when his friends released twin sighs, the boy decided one small act of chivalry was the least he could do. They all stayed packed close together in the courtyard as children and their parents slowly trickled in.
Before the doors officially opened, the Hokage was going to come and make a commencement speech. Being an Uchiha, Kagami had a good understanding of the importance of ceremony, but it didn't stop him from mentally begging the man to hurry up.
"Wow, do you see that?" Reira exclaimed. Knowing her, she'd make sure that if for some reason they didn't see that, they soon would. "She's got a dog! I didn't know we could have dogs with us or I would've brought mine."
"You don't have one." Chisato reminded.
"I'd get one just to bring it!" So saying, Reira took the lead, tugging them toward a short-haired girl fussing over a dog snuggled to her chest, standing beside two dark-haired girls, a white-haired young man and an intimidating woman with a giant, equally intimidating ninken.
Reira was making a beeline for them without an ounce of hesitation. Chisato followed without any resistance. But Kagami, still wound up in the scarf, was choking as he stumbled along, clutching at the material suddenly too tight on his windpipe. 'N-Not this again!''
Just as he feared he'd fall face down in the snow and choked out for everyone to see, the line he was attached to came to an abrupt halt, and he bumped a perfectly calm Chisato. Kagami always thought he had a lot of composure for someone his age, but nothing ever daunted the Aburame, not even Reira's spontaneity.
"Uh, hello," When he caught his breath and oxygen started getting back to his brain, he could see the girl with the dog—definitely an Inuzuka—was watching them curiously. Though with her polite smile if she thought they were a trio of idiots she hid it well.
"Hi," Reira greeted, "I know you don't know us, but we saw…well I saw you. Your dog, really! I saw your dog and she's just so…" Her voice grew softer until it tapered to an inaudible gush. "…She's so perfect."
The puppy barked approvingly. "She says thank you for noticing, she spent a lot of time working on her fur this morning." The Inuzuka girl translated. Looking down at her canine partner, she hummed in thought. "Is that why I couldn't find you?"
The puppy barked again.
The tanned, dark-haired girl who had looked disinterested the whole time glanced toward the teenager staring out across the courtyard, tugging his sleeve sharply. "You see? What kind of academy is this? People gush over dogs before they even exchange names." she complained.
"Ah," Reira smacked herself in the forehead, wearing a cheesy grin. "Sorry, sorry! I'm Reira."
"I'm Yoku and this is Asuga." The Inuzuka replied, bowing.
'She's nothing like the rumors describe the Inuzuka. She seems really cordial.' Kagami shot the woman with the wild hair and sharp eyes a surreptitious glance, shivering. 'But in comparison, her mother's full of intensity.'
The youngest of the three girls bounced up to them, staring with innocent black eyes. Her hair was pulled slightly to the side in a lopsided bun that looked like it was done with clumsy fingers and held in place by a thin…bone…? There was only one clan Kagami was aware of that used bones not only in battle but as accessories.
That would make the rumors that had the clan in an uproar just a few short weeks ago, completely true. When he'd heard some of the older Uchiha worked up over a small portion of the Kaguya clan settling in the village, he had imagined fierce, battle-hardened men and women that could actually prove enough of a threat to cause concern.
This girl, who couldn't be much younger than them, looked like she wouldn't hurt an insect—something that probably would make Chisato take an instant liking to her. "Kikue is Kikue," she greeted in a high, youthful voice.
Her unique speech pattern drew smiles from not only himself, but Reira and Chisato as well.
"You're so adorable," Not one for personal space, Reira rushed forward and squished her cheeks together.
Kagami and Chisato shared a nod, wordlessly tugging the scarf until the tiny Kaguya child had room away from Reira's clingy hands.
"Reira," Chisato quietly admonished.
"It's okay. Kikue thinks Rei-chan is adorable too." Kikue reached up to feel and admire Reira's signature braid.
"Ugh," the other female Kaguya that could only be her sister clutched her stomach as if she would be sick. "Junji you absolutely cannot leave me here."
"This is how it's going to be." Yoku's mother said in a confident voice. "The Hokage thinks it's the best way to help you girls continue integrating, especially with your peers. And you're always complaining about being cooped up in the compound, aren't you Harihane?"
The moody, pouting girl called Harihane folded her arms and turned away. Being an Uchiha meant Kagami knew a thing or two about pride as well. Wounded pride especially was easy to spot. "Listen, nobody told me this was the alternative…" she grumbled.
"I'd attend too if I didn't miss the cut-off age by a handful of years." The man Kagami assumed was their brother said.
"Shut up, Junji," Harihane hip bumped him out of the way. "Nobody wants empty sentiments right now. I need to concentrate on reining it all in." She sucked in a deep, fortifying breath and walked off muttering, her shoulders hunched. "That white-haired Senju can just go ahead and make my cell cozy. I know I'm going to be in there for attacking some kid before the end of the day…"
Yoku cleared her throat. "She…she doesn't m-mean that!" she jogged to catch up with Harihane, Asuga secured inside her coat.
Kikue leaned up with a wide, conspiratorial smile and a twinkle in her eyes, hand cupped around her mouth. "Yes, she does~"
"I…I guess we never finished introductions," Kagami valiantly attempted to salvage the meeting with a hesitant glance after the two girls, shifting awkwardly in place. "This is Chisato. And I'm Kaga—"
"There's Hashi-nii," Reira cheered. "That must mean it's starting." There at the front was indeed the Hokage, accompanied by his brother and Madara-sama. Kagami couldn't help but stare longingly at the glowing white fur wrapped around Tobirama Senju's shoulders. It could have just been his imagination but it looked thicker and more tempting than ever. He started to envision wrapping it around his whole face to bask in the plushness.
"Kagami-kun," Reira elbowed him with a whisper. "Are you…drooling?"
Straightening quickly, he swiped his mouth with the back of a hand and was mortified to find it wet. Wiping it off on his pants, he feigned calmness. "No way. Let's be quiet so we don't miss any of Hokage-sama's speech."
ASiT
After the surprise of the Hokage's invitation to the academy opening, several days after their late night talk, Sakura had eagerly dressed that morning and prepared to head out. Toka turning up on her doorstep wasn't really expected, but the pinkette found she didn't mind the company, and something told her the Senju had a lot on her mind.
That was proven to be the case when Sakura lightly mentioned how excited Reira must be during the walk over, and Toka had given her a small, tired smile before explaining her niece had "snuck off" early to meet her friends there. Of course, there was more to it than that. As adapt as Toka was at maintaining a cool exterior, Sakura just had a feeling. Shinobi intuition, maybe.
Still, they got to the academy with Sakura bearing the burden of holding up the mostly one-sided conversation and her companion occasionally responding when she wasn't lost too deeply in thought.
By the time they arrived in the courtyard, clusters of children and parents were standing around, huddling in on themselves against the nippy winter morning and chattering in a blend of conversations about everything from what they hoped academy lessons would include, to the friends they were hoping to make, or what the Hokage would have to say.
Toka's eagle eyes scanned the area, and Sakura hid a sympathetic smile. Whatever was going on between Reira and Toka, it didn't stop the older woman from worrying where Reira was concerned.
"Should we try over there?" Sakura suggested, motioning toward where a larger cluster of children were talking, standing right next to Naruto's special spot. The swing.
'I can't believe that's been here from the beginning. But there's no way the one we used is the original.' It was just a few smooth planks of wood attached to a branch by some rope. More than easy enough to replace when the old swing sustained too much wear and tear.
"Hm…" Toka said absently.
"Uh…" Sakura was growing steadily more concerned. Here was a shinobi who was always alert, even in seemingly innocuous places like this. It was a little sad that she still didn't know the woman well enough to guess what had her so out of it. She'd have to make an effort to change that…
"Well, well…truly long time, no see eh?" Momentarily pulled from her worriation over Toka, Sakura perked up.
'I definitely know that voice.' Swinging to the right, standing on her tiptoes and squinting through the crowd brought Sarutobi into her line of sight. He grinned, flashing them a glimpse of white teeth clenched around a senbon, his tanned face sporting a neat black beard that was slightly thicker than it had been some months ago.
His hands were tucked into his pant pockets, the vibrant red he seemed to favor on display in his short kimono shirt. The genial man slipped past a group of frantic-looking mothers with a warm pat to one's shoulder, and for the first time Sakura saw a young boy tagging along beside him.
"How many years has it been?" Sarutobi joked, rubbing his beard. "Don't tell me any more than four."
Sakura played along. "A lot less, luckily for you." They exchanged a brief hug, the boy peering up at them inquisitively.
"Toka," Sarutobi greeted, though he didn't move in for a hug, likely sensing the Senju's mood. "I take it you're here to see off your niece. Reira, was it?"
"That's right," Toka nodded briskly. "And this boy is no doubt your son." Noticing he was being addressed, the child stepped around his father with a chest puffed in pride and a lopsided grin.
Sarutobi ruffled the boy's hair with an affectionate chuckle. "Sure is. This is Hiruzen."
Sakura blinked once, twice, taking in Hiruzen, who couldn't be older than Reira, with no small amount of awe. He was…he was…
"Nice meeting ya." he waved, wearing an expression reminiscent of Konohamaru. He was tan like his father, his short, slightly ruffled hair a warm brown like his eyes. There was an air of confidence and playfulness much more like his grandson than the elderly man she knew in her own time.
'So this is the Third Hokage as a little boy.' She marveled.
The leader she'd known had been elderly even when she was small, a long-lived shinobi who was greatly revered for his quick mind and affinity for learning new ninjutsu in his prime years. The Professor, the history texts called him. Other textbooks went even further, naming him the second coming of the God of Shinobi. The sensei of her shishou. And, the man who had let Naruto down… In hindsight, hadn't he really let them all down?
Growing up, much like any other children in the village, Sakura saw a gentle, grandfatherly figure who would occasionally stop in unexpectedly on academy lessons. When he'd fallen in battle, she had mourned him with a heavy heart along with everyone else.
It wouldn't be until years later when she was apprenticing under Tsunade and was entrusted to sort and view confidential information from files only those in the Hokage's inner circle would have access to, that she began to doubt how well she had really known the sweet old Sandaime.
Records would implicate that he was complicit toward those who had risen to be great threats, like Orochimaru and Danzo. Sure, information in files was usually heavily redacted, but Sakura wasn't the highest scoring female student of her year for nothing. She had put enough together to know that old Sarutobi could have done a lot more than he did to protect them, protect Naruto. Knowing what she knew had admittedly cast him in a different light and soured some of his legacy for her post-mortem.
"Everything alright, Sakura?" Sarutobi asked.
Sakura realized she'd been zoning out too long, maybe frowning at the boy a little too hard if Hiruzen's uneasy face was any clue.
Putting all her shinobi skills of deception to the test, Sakura smiled somberly—at least some of that she didn't need to fake. "I'm sorry," she addressed Hiruzen. "You remind me so much of a boy I knew…and he's," All it took was a quick thought to the first child who had slipped away on her table, and her eyes were filming over with authenticated grief. Toka and Sarutobi's faces echoed with understanding, Hiruzen still a little lost.
"Oh…sorry." he squirmed.
Sarutobi rubbed his son's shoulder. "There are plenty of kids here now, go and talk to some of them. They'll be your peers." A light shove and Hiruzen was wandering off.
Sakura got the full weight of Sarutobi's compassionate gaze the minute the boy was out of earshot. "Not an adult here who doesn't understand," he nodded sagely. Sakura almost felt bad for being so good. Clearly he truly believed his son reminded her of some poor child who had been lost to battle. "This academy," He nodded his chin up at the building. "It'll be good for them. I'd rather have them here than out there."
Toka responded immediately, "Agreed." A sudden breeze lifted her bangs before dropping them right back down over her eye. "I can only hope whatever skills they learn here are never needed for real warfare."
Sakura wanted so badly to say something comforting, but knowing the future that she came from, how could she? Instead, she opened her mouth to ask them what they thought of the first-year curriculum, when she caught sight of a troop of children in dark colors walking with a haggard Izuna.
There was a small girl dangling precariously by one arm from around his neck, apparently having fun messing with his hair. But he didn't even take note of whatever discomfort it caused. He was too busy guiding the broad boy she briefly remembered giving Kagami a hard time with a stern hand on his shoulder. Twin girls walked on his opposite side, talking excitedly to each other. And a pig-tailed girl with a lanky boy brought up the rear.
Normally, the children he trained seemed to regard him with respect, but with the excitement in the air it was evident they were just as susceptible as the other kids around, and Izuna was unfortunately dealing with the brunt of that unrestrained eagerness. Taking pity, Sakura made her way over, hands clasped behind her back.
"I can tell you've got it under control, but just in case, I thought I'd offer a helping hand anyway." Sakura maneuvered around to pluck the giggling child from his back.
Once he'd registered who was speaking to him, Izuna's lips pulled into a grateful smile. In fact his whole being radiated relief.
"Not exactly my finest moment, is it?" Motioning to the children standing around them, he explained, "I decided to come with them for their first day, since I planned to attend the academy opening anyway, but—"
"We're all like, really jittery." One of the twins informed. "Kinda nerves, kinda excitement."
"Speak for yourselves," Manabu scoffed. He was by far the biggest of the bunch in physical size, and there was so much cockiness oozing from his pores Sakura bristled. "There's not a single clan kid or civilian-born here that's better than an Uchiha."
The reproachful glare and smack upside the head that comment earned him was swift. "What did I tell you?" Izuna asked.
Sakura found herself glaring down at him too, and had to remind herself yet again that an arrogant child was still a child.
"Lineage doesn't build a better shinobi. Hard-work and heart make that determination." Manabu recited glumly.
Satisfied, Izuna inclined his head. "Scatter."
The children shot off in several directions, nimble-footed even across the semi-frozen ground.
When Sakura looked back up at Izuna, his face was troubled. "I'm getting a bad feeling about all this clan prejudice his father's been putting in his head."
Sakura nodded. "I can see why. He's already very…opinionated about it to be so young. Actually, it borders on open hostility."
She tried not to stare overtly when Izuna pulled his hair from its now-loosened ponytail so that it fell around his shoulders and down his back. Finger-combing it a few times, he continued on obliviously, "Maro's a traditionalist through and through. He was one of the most vocally opposed about signing a peace treaty with the Senju, and I know he's been quietly casting doubts to any listening ear regarding Madara's competence as a leader for a while now." Finished with his impromptu grooming, Izuna retied his hair.
"That sounds serious." Sakura's brow furrowed. She, being civilian-born, had never had to deal with any tricky machinations the way heirs and heiresses did.
"It would be, if I wasn't constantly five steps ahead." Izuna's voice had gone low, and his eyes were glassy with a fleeting but present flash of something dark. Feral. An unexpected but not unpleasant burst of heat bubbled low in her belly.
Sakura could only imagine where that had come from, and she was hoping Izuna wouldn't notice. But hoping hadn't helped her in a long time, and it certainly didn't help her when his features softened and he lifted the back of his hand to her cheek. "How long have you been out here? You're flushed down to your neck."
Sakura swallowed a deep gulp of air that did absolutely no good when his hand skimmed down to feel the skin at the side of her neck, just above her racing pulse. "Just a curse of pale skin." At least he didn't seem to suspect that he was in anyway the cause. Sakura really didn't feel going over the implications of that revelation at present. The only men who had ever given her such a strange, bodily reaction were Sasuke, naturally, and on occasion, to her awkwardness, Naruto.
The hand was gently removed, saving her from further questioning on her temperature and rapid pulse.
From the corner of her eyes, she could see Sarutobi and Toka were coming over at last, and they honestly couldn't have picked a better time. They were better divine intervention than any deity had ever been for her. "It looks like the Hokage's just arrived," Sarutobi commented, staring toward the academy's main entrance. Sakura followed his gaze, spotting Hashirama in full Hokage garb making his way to the front of the crowd with Tobirama and Madara.
The assembled crowd of academy hopefuls and their families grew hushed, everyone listening raptly for whatever the Hokage had to say. Hashirama rewarded everyone with a wide smile, Tobirama and Madara stoic contrasts standing on either side of him.
"Thank you all for gathering with us to commemorate this day." he began. It was clear he wanted to seem dignified and reserved, but the sheer anticipation in his eyes gave him away, even at a distance. "It's not just the beginning of a dream come true, but it's the end of a dark era where children were trained in preparation to fight other children in long, ceaseless battles."
Several heads bowed in solemn remembrance.
"Now, children from all clans can learn together as peers instead of fighting as bitter enemies." A short but genuine cheer rose into the air. Encouraged, Hashirama's smile returned in full force, blinding. "Not just them, however, the academy opens its doors to welcome the next generation of shinobi from all backgrounds, including those who are civilian-born."
Sakura felt warmed to witness this piece of history especially. This was the moment that would shape her future decades later. She was a proud kunoichi of her village because the First Hokage had adamantly advocated to allow children just like her to have a chance to be great ninja, too.
"Children," The Hokage said, speaking directly to the youth, "Train hard and form strong bonds of solidarity with your peers. Grow up strong to uphold the Will of Fire. One day, you'll go from saplings to the mighty trees that make Konoha what it is." Hashirama's words rang out to settle over everyone, and Sakura could sense the motivation circulating in the air itself.
Toka, Izuna and Sarutobi seemed to sense it too. They each wore proud expressions, no doubt thinking of the children in their lives they hoped would go on to be the might of the village Hashirama spoke about.
Even Madara and Tobirama, normally at each other's throats when so close together, were content to stand in quiet unity with Hashirama, their expressions tranquil.
"We're gonna do our best!" A child cried from the middle of the courtyard.
"Yeah, I'll be a kunoichi that'll make my family proud!" another declared.
"Starting today I live by the Will of Fire, and one day I'll be Hokage!"
That last proclamation hit home, and Sakura pressed a hand to her mouth, unabashed tears shimmering in her eyes. Izuna gently bumped her, and she nodded that she was alright. 'Just feeling really nostalgic.'
Hashirama was happy to let them all revel in that feeling, and when they'd calmed, he went on as if he'd never been interrupted. "As adults, our duty is to support them as they grow, providing the nourishment and love they need so that their branches stretch up past where ours stopped. Until the day we wither into husks to make room for a vibrant new forest," His face craned toward the sky. "We're the ones lifting them on our shoulders so they can touch the sun."
Quiet, so quiet that it was almost as if every heart in the courtyard beat in sync, and then, an uproarious cheer. Sakura joined in, feeling it echo in her bones and in her soul, this was something she wanted to seal in her heart forever.
There was no telling how long it took the cacophony of cheers to peter out, but when they did, it was Tobirama who stepped forward after clearing his throat. "As that concludes my brother's heartfelt speech, students will now be allowed to enter the building. Instructors can make their way through the back entrance to your designated classrooms. Roster lists will be visible on all doors so that students know where to go. Make sure to memorize them carefully. They'll be taken down after the first week."
Animated chatter broke out yet again as kids hustled indoors, the very first students of Konoha's ninja academy.
Sakura was feeling more inspired herself. Hashirama was someone who just had that effect. All the things she'd been worrying over lately suddenly felt like problems she could tackle, because she'd already faced and overcome so many insurmountable challenges before.
That was probably why a hard shoulder knocking into her, nearly making her lose her footing, jarred her from the moment of peace. The universe had decided she'd had her five seconds of serenity and it was time to get back to the discord that had recently become her life.
She recognized the man, though it had been well over a month since she'd last seen him. Just a glance was enough to tell his elitist attitude hadn't gone anywhere. Before she could even comment on the rudeness of him accidentally knocking her, his thin lips curled into a patronizing smile. "Ah, Haruno-san, I see you're here to witness the fruits of your labor."
"History in the making." Sakura smiled sweetly. She couldn't help but notice the child held tight to his side by Shimura's arm around both the boy's shoulders.
Shinpachi gave her a disapproving once over before swiveling around to acknowledge the others. "Quite the rousing speech Lord Hokage gave, no?" he asked conversationally. "Personally I'm looking forward to seeing just what this crop of children ends up being capable of…who will be weeded out and who will grow into a true pillar of the village remains to be seen, of course."
Sarutobi's eyes flickered around at Sakura, Toka and Izuna before he granted Shimura a slow nod. "Well I expect the village to be in good hands in the future."
"Yes," Shimura agreed, "So long as everyone assumes their proper place." His eyes slyly landed on Sakura before he looked down. "This is my son, Danzo." Far from the elder Danzo that she knew, the boy had somewhat unruly spiked chestnut hair and an unblemished face, not hidden by bandages. Nor did he use a cane or wear one arm in a sling. There was one thing in his youthful appearance that hadn't changed. The calculating squint to his eyes she'd recognize anywhere.
Sakura openly scrutinized the boy, who couldn't have been older than ten. As with the young Third, Sakura's feelings toward his future self were far from positive. But whereas Hiruzen held blame for passivity, Danzo was directly and actively responsible for a shadowed history of atrocities in the village.
He had hurt so many children, her own teammate Sai included… He had tried to usurp power from Tsunade, though thankfully he'd met his demise at Sasuke's hands before he was fully successful. Yet here, he was a harmless child, not a threat by any means.
Nevertheless, looking at the boy and trying not to see the man was hard. Especially when he was no doubt already being groomed by the bigot standing in front of her.
"I think our boys are around the same age," Sarutobi remarked.
"Yes," Izuna added, "The same with Kagami and the others."
"Reira as well." Toka chimed in.
"Excellent," Shimura raised his chin. "It's an honor to think Danzo will be learning alongside children from clans of such high caliber." He gave his son's shoulder a tight squeeze. "Run along now, son." To Sakura's irritation, the boy child Danzo couldn't resist casting her one more suspicious glance before about-facing to join the last of the children filing inside for their schooling.
Sakura had hoped that would be the end of it and Shimura would leave too, but instead he turned all his attention on Toka with an impressed lift of his eyebrows. "My, I'm familiar with Izuna-san as well as Sarutobi-san, but I do believe this is the first time we've met, Lady Toka. It's an honor."
Sakura expected Toka to oblige him with a polite if not shallow remark about the feeling being mutual. She eyed him once from head to toe as if underwhelmed. "I see."
"You yourself are something of a prodigy with poisons and genjutsu," Shimura complimented. "Your work has been openly praised and envied among the Senju's adversaries for years."
A shadow passed over the woman's face before her lips pulled taut, one of the tells Sakura had come to realize meant she was shutting away all emotion. "Generous of you to say, Shimura-san. But I hope I never have need for those techniques at any point in the near future."
Sakura exchanged looks with Izuna and Sarutobi, who had been all but shut out of the conversation. Both men looked wary of whatever Shimura was working up to. "Wishful thinking," Shimura sighed. "Unfortunately the threat of conflict is always an ominous cloud even in brighter times such as these. However shinobi like us, those who have known bloodshed all our lives and can deaden emotions at will to cut down anyone, are the key to Konoha's prosperity. Just as our children should reach toward the light, we seasoned ninja should never shy from acting in shadow." An oily smile flickered on his face. "Do you not agree, Lady Toka?"
Sakura watched on with worry. Something about his words had effected Toka. She was outwardly concealing it as well as ever, but Sakura could still read her well enough.
"I…was born in shadows, Shimura-san. For a time I embraced that existence. But it was no place for a child." she said, maintaining eye contact with him. "As you mentioned, these are brighter times. Maybe that won't always be the case. But for now I'm content to shed the dark I grew up in. As a shinobi, we endure only by adapting. Do you not agree?" And just like that, Toka had cleverly spun his own words back at him, and Shimura stumbled to response. "I suppose this is where we part ways?"
Sarutobi and Izuna, knowing they were being addressed, nodded understandingly.
"Don't be a stranger," Sarutobi replied.
"Sakura, would you accompany me?"
Toka didn't say to where, but when she flickered from view, Sakura suspected it was crucial that she follow.
'You're losing it.' She told herself, landing solidly in a crouch on the deserted Senju training grounds. Thankfully Sakura had followed unquestioningly. But Toka still felt she owed the younger woman an explanation.
Sakura was quick to take in their surroundings. "A spar?" she ventured.
"Yes," Toka granted herself a deep breath, "But could we talk?"
"A-Alright…" While the Senju had certainly never had many female friends, or friends outside the clan at all, she was grateful that the one she had found was so accommodating.
The pink-haired kunoichi took her position, so she did the same. They ran at each other without warning, no words needed to convey the first tense minute of their clash. Instead Toka used a forearm to guard against a roundhouse kick, pushing back and stopping a fist aimed for her face with her free hand.
Sakura took note of her position and smirked, bringing her leg down and attempting to sweep Toka's feet from under her. The Senju sprang back into a handstand, already feeling lighter on her feet. "How aware are you of my reputation?" she asked.
Sakura's eyes were sharp with focus. "Not very familiar at all." For some reason, that news made a flutter of relief touch her breast. "You're a revered expert on genjutsu and poison…like Shimura said."
Toka spit a barrage of senbon, hoping to catch her opponent off guard. Sakura reacted with equal speed in producing a previously hidden kunai and deflecting every other needle. Specifically, the ones that had been poisoned mixed with those that hadn't. The rest, she dodged without blocking. "I took my first life at the tender age of seven. I had been going to a small village near our settlement as a courier for the clan. In doing so, I made a friend, the daughter of what our clan head believed to be his informant."
The Senju weaved through the proper signs for a water bullet jutsu, but when she released them Sakura made no attempts to counter. Instead she held her arms to the sides, and before the attack reached its mark, a jerk right had them flowing to circle her in a fast-moving ring of water. That gave Toka pause. She hadn't even seen the pinkette weave a single sign.
The redirected jutsu came rocketing back as a powerful jet that she narrowly ducked under. When she peered in Sakura's direction, she was staring down at her hands in prideful wonder. Pocketing the information of how Sakura, who Tobirama had previously said had no known proficiency in even the most basic of jutsu, could suddenly perform such strong attacks without weaving signs, she pressed on with her tale. "However, it was discovered that the informant had double-crossed the Senju, and was also working with the Hagoromo clan. He planned to use his daughter to carry information to a member at a late night rendezvous. Secrets regarding our battle tactics."
Sakura paused, listening with wide eyes. "That could have cost the Senju the entire battle."
"Exactly," Toka's eyes focused on a spot in front of her, loathe to admit what happened next. "So you understand why that could not happen at all costs. Because I had been the one used to communicate with them, Lord Butsuma ordered me to intercept Hana. She was only a civilian, and I had no trouble overpowering her…" Hana's frightened face was still vivid in her mind, even so many long years later. "She begged me to let her go, and promised she wouldn't deliver the message."
Sakura sucked in a deep breath, seemingly anticipating what she was about to say.
"But I knew that Lord Butsuma would not consider that enough assurance that our plans wouldn't fall into enemy hands. I made the decision to kill her." She'd tried to make it quick, but she had been young and scared herself then, and her clumsy hand inflicted a wound that would ensure a slow, painful end.
Sakura's face was pained, horrified, as to be expected. While she was a formidable kunoichi who Toka had a great deal of respect for, she also had at times an odd attachment to mercy that could only come from a sheltered upbringing. "Your…friend?"
"My friend." Toka licked at her dry lips. "I killed my only friend, because between duty to my clan and the friendship of a blacksmith's daughter, there was never any real struggle about what meant more." Shaking her head, she smiled wanly. "After that, my hesitation greatly diminished, and throughout the rest of my childhood and into adolescence I was assigned increasingly more dangerous missions."
She darted toward the stunned kunoichi, using the distraction to land a punishing blow to her unprotected gut. Sakura absorbed the hit with a grunt, the hit forcing her back. "I unblinkingly completed each one. Often, the shinobi I faced were my age, sometimes younger. Then, I cut down an adult. A man who told me about his family and his wife pregnant with their third child. He wanted to see them one more time." Sakura held onto the arm that had delivered the punched and yanked Toka forward with vehemence, kneeing her in the stomach and then shoving her away with a foot.
She didn't have a chance to get back onto her feet before Sakura was straddling her with a kunai to her throat, but there was no anger in her face. Just the opposite. Toka always preferred the anger, any hate directed at her than sympathy or compassion. It only made her feel worse. "Toka…"
"I plunged my kunai through the back of his neck…and he gasped his wife's name with his dying breath." Toka remembered stepping away from his cooling body, barely registering the pat of approval to her head the Senju who had stumbled on them gave her. "That was all before my work with poisons." She stopped, meeting Sakura's eyes. "I know exactly what I've done, Sakura. Others know too. Except Reira."
Here, Sakura's sympathetic face faltered with confusion. "She…doesn't know any of it?"
Toka shook her head as best as she was able. Realizing that, Sakura removed the kunai and got off her. "She's never seen a battle, and was kept sheltered inside the Senju settlement all her life before the village was formed. The gory details of my past have been kept from her, yet she idolizes what she thinks are my heroic exploits and wants to follow in my footsteps as a true kunoichi."
"Then…why don't you tell her?" Sakura asked gently.
That had been a question she had asked herself and struggled with for years. Her cowardice was humiliating, but Toka wouldn't deny she clung to the last shield between herself and the inevitable. Her mind had rationalized that Reira was too young and impressionable, and she would reveal everything when she was older and more emotionally mature.
But that was merely another excuse. Her niece couldn't be unaware that they hailed from a powerful warrior clan. Shinobi were bred to suffer and to cause suffering. A small part of Reira must have picked up on that, right?
Then again, if she hadn't full grasped just what a shinobi life meant, it would be Toka's own fault. "Maybe it's because the thought that she could look at me with disgust is too great a fear. I've never been ashamed of my sins to the extent that I've purposely hid them. On the contrary, I always saw my work as necessary then. I justified it for a long time before I was ready to admit I had been used like every other child soldier."
Sakura nodded encouragingly. They both sat now, cross-legged and facing each other. "Then you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You were a child that was exploited, not a monster. Reira adores you, and she would understand—"
"Perhaps in time," Toka mused. "But getting her to understand would require a great detail about my past, the fate of her parents, and the true reasons I've grown concerned about her trying to seek a path like mine. I can't help but think all of that in a short time would drastically alter her worldview." She gave a short, self-deprecating chuckle. "In short, I'm the one who requires more courage than I currently have."
Sakura didn't respond, her growing bangs slipping down over her glassy eyes as she stared into her lap. "…You know, I think I understand." she said softly.
Despite Sakura's past being as big a mystery to her as hers was to Reira, Toka couldn't help but believe her.
The success of the academy opening had him riding high. There was no other way to describe the airy feeling that took over and made him feel as though his feet hadn't touched the ground in days.
Not even the thought of being restricted to a day indoors while cold weather continued outside, could deter him. Especially when he had made an impromptu trip to the Nara Forest and gotten the bag of what he needed to keep Bukkai happy. Hashirama surveyed his bonsai, the pre-cut pieces of wire and mesh, the new, bigger pot he had gotten, and the burlap sack. If he was content, then his tree friend should be.
Hashirama had just picked up his plough when an almost timid knock on his door interrupted. Surprised, he looked over thoughtfully. Today wasn't a receiving day. And not even Tobirama was around, presently monitoring the Kaguya siblings since he had not been pleased about allowing them access to the academy.
Though he couldn't imagine who was at his door or why, he wasn't about to turn them away. He shrugged down at the organized mess on the floor around him. At worst, they would find out that the Hokage was a bonsai enthusiast. If that hadn't been evident already.
"Come in," he replied, already distracted by his repotting when the door swung open. A bright pink head popping into the room was a pleasant surprise, Sakura Haruno's determined expression morphing into bewilderment when she saw his supplies.
"Hello Sakura-san, what brings you by?"
"Ah," she cleared her throat, pulling her eyes away from Bukkai. "I can come back…I didn't have an appointment anyway, so really this was a little rude."
"Don't mind this," he stuck the plough down into the soil around his little tree to loosen it. "Just doing some maintenance for Bukkai. Winter is when cherry blossom bonsai should be repotted and I feel sort of neglectful since I've put it off for nearly a week." Cautious of getting caught up in a tangent about proper bonsai care, he cut himself off abruptly.
Instead of seeming put off, she regarded what he was doing with intrigue. "You seem to know a lot about bonsai care…have you been reading up or is it a long-time hobby?"
Hashirama thought back to boyhood when he had first cultivated an interest in pruning the bonsai kept around the settlement, learning about the different species from Senju who gardened. Of course, that had come to an end when his father insisted his heir stop tending to plants and start working on perfecting his Mokuton instead.
"It's an old hobby I've been rediscovering lately."
She took a step further into the room; when he didn't raise any objection, she carefully navigated herself until she was standing a foot away, before crouching. "I admit I never took a lot of time raising plants before, but I know someone who's amazing at it." He saw the nostalgia in her beryl eyes that appeared sometimes when she spoke about nameless people from her past. "Would you…" she hesitated, so he waited patiently for her to go on. "Would you mind if I watched?"
Hashirama nearly lost his grip on the plough. Talk about unanticipated…
A sudden frown touched her pink lips. "Actually, that's probably a little invasive, isn't it? This is your free time."
"No, no," he scooted over. "I don't mind."
Sakura moved closer and picked up a piece of mesh. "So what's this for?" The crinkle between her brows was adorable, "Is it for some kind of filtering?"
"It helps keep the soil around the roots from being rinsed away during watering," he explained, fitting a piece of meshing over the drainage hole. Sakura considered the mesh in her own hand before mimicking him on the other side of the pot. Hashirama didn't comment on it, wondering if she even realized she'd done it or was simply someone who enjoyed trying what she learned for herself.
He reached for the purposely bent wire and fed it into the middle of the mesh. As he pushed the piece down with his thumb, he glanced up at Sakura to see her still watching intently. "Not that I mind Sakura-san, but I assume you didn't come here to watch something this dull."
"Learning's never dull for me." She shook her head absently. "But I was talking to Yurine about academy lessons. She told me she's going to be a full-time instructor."
Hashirama thought back to the energetic Yurine Yuhi and how surprised he'd been that Tobirama deemed her suitable as an instructor. The skills she possessed were more than fine, though occasionally she could be flighty, a trait his brother wasn't known to be fond of. "Yes, she's teaching basic genjutsu."
"Mhm." Sakura once again copied what she'd seen him do with the wire. "Anyway, she mentioned there's no one teaching the students basic field medic skills."
Hashirama slotted the longer pieces of wire into the four small holes, two on both sides of the pot. "That's true," he reached for the bucket he'd set aside, then the burlap sack. "This next part is pretty messy." He warned. "You might…it might be sort of hard to sit that close if you're not use to it."
Sakura blinked slowly. "Hokage-sama, I'm a medic, I've been close to plenty of unappea—" The words died on her tongue when he undid the sack's tie and the pungent aroma of fresh manure saturated the air space. Sakura pinched her nose, eyeing the bag with disdain. "Wh-What in the…"
"It's compost from the Nara Forest made with deer droppings." He admitted sheepishly. "Fresh."
Sakura was quick on her feet, practically charging across the office and wrenching the window open with none of the polite manner he'd previously come to associate her with. With a jab, she pointed to the opened sack of compost. "And that makes the way it smells better?!"
She had never been so informal or feisty toward him before. Even on the night they'd talked under the stars, there was a line she was clearly unwilling to cross. Apparently the reek of the soil was too foul not to speak up on.
Chuckling under his breath, Hashirama made sure the bucket was steady between his legs and then held the sieve over it with one hand, pinching the side of the bag with the other and trying to slowly shake it out. It wasn't easy with one hand, but he managed. "It's not that we didn't consider that position," he said after some thought. "Tobirama assured me he couldn't find anyone fitting for the job. Not in time for the academy opening."
"How hard did he look?" she grumbled. "Oh... oh!" Sakura's cheeks colored as her words seemed to catch up to her. "I'm sorry."
"It's not a secret that Tobirama is hard to please, especially in the area of medical expertise." The kunoichi made her way back over to squat nearby again, evidently choosing to put up with the smell for a closer look.
Hashirama made sure the compost was thoroughly sifted into the bucket, separating clumps, then used the plow to mix it around for good measure. Accurately guessing what he'd need next, Sakura pushed Bukkai's new pot his way.
"But even so, there has to be someone who can do the job. I mean medic nins are always in high demand, aren't they?"
Of course she was correct. If at least one child could graduate the academy with the knowledge to aid their teammates with field-dressing skills—not that he could ever envision authorizing using children on the frontlines—it would help stave off infection and possibly prevent lots of casualties. "Is this your way of volunteering your services?"
The young woman's head lifted from her singular focus on his work, genuine surprise appearing in her clear, green eyes. "I…I…well, no." she bit her lip. "I'm flattered, and it's not like I'm trying to be pushy without offering to help, but I'd prefer to be on active duty more than an instructor, and—"
Hashirama ceased her increasingly frantic rambling with a gentle smile. "What about once a week? Or even every other week?" She had switched from an expression of mortification to thoughtfulness, so he continued. "Sakura-san, you're more than qualified, and it's true that this is a skill students really should be exposed to. I don't mind working out the details in a way that suits your schedule."
"That might work."
He nodded enthusiastically. "Great!" His hand swept toward Bukkai, which had been waiting patiently off to the side. "Would you mind removing the wires at the bottom of the old pot?"
Sakura's eyes darted across the room as if she couldn't fathom who he was speaking to, before she pointed to herself incredulously. "Me?"
Hashirama's ears began to heat up, and he knew before long they;d be pink. Maybe he had misread her clinical interest as enthusiasm and she didn't want to have an active role in helping him after all. "Ah, if it's not too much to ask."
Shrugging, she reverently picked up Bukkai, held the underside of the pot at eye level and tilted her head. "Oh, these?" Effortlessly switching the little tree to one hand, she pinched the wiring between her thumb and index finger and pulled it free from the pot's base.
'Normally I would have had to cut through those with a kunai…' he mused. 'Her strength is immense but she's also very used to performing delicate tasks.'
She handed him Bukkai without missing a beat. "What next?" If he didn't know any better, he'd say she was getting very into the whole process.
"I have to carefully take it out all the way to the roots." A quick, gentle tug and Bukkai came free from its former home; Hashirama didn't waste time going for the small rake claw and fussing over removing soil from between the roots.
"So a bonsai really does have a root system closer to a tree than a flower." Sakura observed. "They're so thick!" She ran a careful finger over one.
"That's actually part of what you need to pay attention to with bonsai." He told her, pointing down at some of the thickest roots. "These should be pruned before it goes into the new pot. The branching system won't be well-balanced if one or two roots are allowed to become much stronger than the others."
"That makes sense." Lifting the same finger she had tenderly touched the root with, Sakura produced a restrained, visible amount of blue chakra concentrated around her fingertip, slicing cleanly through the root he had pointed out. She repeated the process with the other two roots that had been the same length and level of thickness. "I didn't mess up, did I?"
"It's perfect." Hashirama marveled at how uniformly she'd made the length of each. "You're starting to make me think you're a natural."
Sakura placed a hand to her chest in relief, her eyes somewhat proud. "It's sort of the same concept as making really precise incisions during healing."
Hashirama could certainly see why so many that had witnessed her skill in action saw her as competent. It also raised questions he'd been mulling over, and even brought up with Tobirama. "You know, I've been meaning to ask for a while now…exactly where did you learn medical ninjutsu? There's just something about your technique that reminds me of the way Senju…" he trailed off when he saw how some of the light had drained from her face.
"I…"
Why did she look so nervous? Did she think he was subtly accusing her of somehow stealing clan techniques? There was some possibility that a clan member assumed lost to battle had actually survived and defected. It was rare but occasionally happened. They might travel around, keeping a low profile and retiring from ninja life while peddling services for money.
There was nothing to say Sakura hadn't inadvertently encountered a Senju who had taught her in her home village. "I never really thought too much about who I was learning from, I was just…really eager to be able to do something I thought would help people." Hashirama could tell there was more to it than that, but let the matter slide.
He set Bukkai into the new pot, handing her some more wire. "It has to be properly secured again. Since you managed so well with undoing the old ones, do you think you could twist these tight?"
She complied, another perfect estimation of what was needed. Hashirama added the last of the compost to pat and cover Bukkai's roots snugly, poking his finger around lightly.
"This is going to be one happy bonsai." Sakura said.
"I'm sure it already is." He picked up the watering can and gave the tree a hearty sprinkling. "This was fun, Sakura-san. Thank you."
Looking up through her lashes, her mouth quirked into a shy smile. "I really didn't do much besides barge in on you."
"I do keep an open door policy." He joked. "I'm no stranger to being barged in on." Thinking back to how many times civilians, Reira, Tobirama, Madara or a random ninja had let themselves in made him sigh. "This is actually one of the nicer times it's happened."
Giving herself a once over, she brushed at some dirt that had gotten on one of her kimono sleeves. "But does it usually end up so messy?"
Hashirama noticed for the first time he might have been even worse, some of the soil having fallen onto his lap and caking his palms. When had that occurred? "Not usually, no…"
"Here," Sakura began tidying the floor space with sure hands. "It's the least I can do."
"When I see you cleaning up my mess, it's pretty shameful…allow me." Hashirama pulled the root claw from her hand. Or tried to. Her grip suddenly tightened it. One fierce glare and he released the tool.
Satisfied, Sakura set to work using a cloth to wipe off the tools. She didn't get far into it until her countenance grew taut in frustration. "How can you stand the stench and the stickiness? This is…this is gross."
He started to rub at his cheek before remembering his palms were dirty as well. "I'd have to ask Doi, but I think the uh, freshness and the deer's diet this time of year might have something to do with that."
"Like I said," she deadpanned. "Gross…"
"What happened to the bravado of the undaunted medic?"
Sakura smirked. "I'm still cleaning, aren't I?"
Hashirama was elated that she was taking it in stride. Sakura-san really was something else. "I'll make sure to mind the consistency next time. Sorry it ruined your sleeve. But it should come out with—"
The highly audible sound of a throat clearing alerted them both to Tobirama having appeared from thin air in the shadow of the open door. Presumably, in time to catch his last sentence.
A hand moved up to wipe across his entire face. "Do I…even want to know?"
"Brother, how was—"
Tobirama gave them his back, promptly marching back out the door. Hashirama could have sworn he heard his brother's voice complaining about a stench like rotted fish.
I appreciate the number of people who let me know they still have an investment in this story. I'd really lost a lot of enthusiasm for it and when I got it back, I was hesitating between updating and letting the hiatus continue indefinitely. Hence the interest check-in. I'm sure everyone has heard this not just from me, but other fic writers, but the best way to "pay it forward", get more chapters, show you're around, etc; is always to comment (respectfully—no 'update now'/'more'!). I remember the readers I see in my reviews a lot, and I often think about them when I get ready to update. So commenting is definitely not done in vain. I should also note that writing this chapter felt fun and effortless as opposed to the chore writing had become as of late, so I think that says a lot.
Tabi are a particular kind of sock worn with different open toe shoes and sandals in Japan. They're known for the big toe of the sock being separate from the rest of the foot.
OoInu is supposed to be the translation for the Canis Major, or Big Dog constellation. KoInu is the Canis Minor, or Child Dog constellation. Well, if the translations I found are reliable anyway.
Ryouken is a constellation called "Hound", which Sakura confuses for Karasu, or "Crow". She could probably use some astronomy lessons.
Kimono shirts are also a real thing. It's similar to what Jiraiya often wore. There's also modern fashion based off this style for both men and women. These are usually loose shirts different than the women's kimonos that are just shorter than average.
The breakdown scene at the beginning of this chapter: I wanted to show that while Sakura may have had a delayed reaction to her grief all this time, she still feels displaced, she's still hurting. Waiting 35 chapters into the story to show that was very deliberate, as I feel Sakura is the sort of person who would hold herself to near-impossible standards and shaft aside her own emotions when it comes to this stuff because she feels obligated to. Especially given how she was at a young age and how she sort of told herself to woman up after the Sasuke retrieval mission failed, and her continued conflicting feelings over Naruto's "promise of a lifetime" well into Shippuden. Yes she's still openly very emotional, be it displays of anger, happiness or sadness, but that doesn't mean she can't be a bit neglectful to herself emotionally if that makes sense.
If you enjoyed this, please review!
