Yay, back with a brand new rap. Sorry it took so long to update, but I just got back from….
NEW YORK
I fell in love. I saw Wicked and Wedding Singer. Tonys were awesome and I talked to Sutton Foster! -gasps and falls unconscious-
Disclaimer: Jonathan Larson owns RENT. I'm just using all characters to see Roger as a babysitter
"Oh my god."
"Roger! I hate peas!" Angel exclaimed. She poked her peas with her fork. It was around seven o'clock Sunday night.
"Shut up and eat your damn peas," Roger commanded. Angel looked at him and frowned. But Thom heard him.
"Damn is a naughty word," he said to Roger. Roger looked at him.
"Yeah, and you wanna know what else is a naughty word?" he asked Thom. Thom shook his head and Roger smirked. "Hate."
Mimi screamed and banged on her tray, splattering her mashed green peas all over the table. Roger bit the bottom of his lip, sick of this.
"Seven more days," he told himself. Just seven more days.
"Now, it's time for Mimi to go to bed," Roger stated. He picked Mimi out of her highchair and cradled the baby. He looked at Angel and knelt down to her height.
"Angel if you clean this mess up and the wash the dishes, I'll let you stay up an hour later and have two bowls of ice cream," he whispered in her ear. Angel looked at him.
"Deal." She grabbed the plates and started stacking them up. Thom quickly grew bored and headed over to the TV and starting playing his videogame.
Roger brought Mimi into the bathroom and started wiping the shit from her mouth. He groaned.
"Why the hell did you do that?" he asked. Mimi just giggled. Once Roger finished cleaning her mouth Roger put Mimi in the bed. But she started crying. And crying and crying.
He tried hard to calm her down, but nothing worked. He held things in front of her face and made funny faces. It finally got so bad that Angel came in.
"What is it?"
"The baby, it won't shut up," Roger said, pointing at Mimi.
"First, it's a she. Second, she's not in her pajamas," Angel said.
"Pajamas?"
Angel looked at Roger like he was an ass. "Yes, pajamas, surely you've heard of them before?" she asked. Roger nodded. He remembered the thin that Mimi always wore to bed. She called them her "pajamas". But Roger knew better. All she did when them was tempting him and it was 100 successful every time.
Angel showed Roger how to put Mimi in her pajamas, but froze once she took the dress off.
"What is it?"
"Her diaper?"
"Her what?"
"Her diaper…it needs to be changed," Angel said. She looked at Roger, whose eyes got wide with fear. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'll show you how to do it," she said.
Roger shook his head. "No, don't show me," he said. "I'll let you do it this whole week," he said to her. Angel looked at him.
"What about school?"
"You're only gone what? Six hours? I'll make her sleep or bring her daycare center," he said.
Angel looked at Roger like he was stupid. "School's from 8 to 3," she stated. Roger looked at her.
"Please, I'm begging you," he pleaded. Angel looked at him.
"Alright."
Angel took care of the baby, while Roger reclined with Thom. Thom watched racecar driving and such. Roger quickly got bored and looked around. Nothing to do. A normal childproof apartment. Roger expected something interested from Mark and Maureen. Maureen had a bunch of Broadway Posters framed around the apartment and Mark hung his plaques and such around.
Roger stood up and went into the bedroom and grabbed the guitar case. He came back out and pulled the guitar out of case and slowly plucked weakly. He then gained momentum as the strings and the vibrations became stronger and more avid. He suddenly remembered ten years ago. His life long mission and what he wanted to do.
He passionately played Musetta's Waltz. Which also included head-banging and sticking out his tongue to the rhythm. He opened his eyes and saw Thom looking at him, completely flabbergasted.
"What was that?" Thom asked shocked. Roger looked at Thom.
"Musetta's Waltz."
"What's that?"
"It's a series of chords from an opera," Roger said. Thom looked at him.
"Opera? Like what mommy is in?" Thom asked.
Dumb ass kid, that's a soap opera. There's soap operas, rock operas, but he's never heard of a plain ole opera?
"No, an opera is where they sing really big all the time," Roger retorted.
"Big?"
"Yeah, like this," Roger said. He cleared his throat and then took in air. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! COURGARIOOOOOOOOOOOOO FIYEROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he belted out horribly. Thom plugged his ears and Roger knew it was time to stop. "That's a rocker singing it though."
"That was horrible."
Roger looked at Thom and leaned closer to him. "Yeah, don't worry I know. And guess what?"
"What?"
"It's in Italian."
Thom's eyes widened in horror, like he was witnessing the Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the movie theatre. He was trying to comprehend the fact that something like opera could be worse, by being in Italian.
"Well, time for bed," Roger said.
Thom looked at him. "I can't sleep now!"
"Why?"
"You scared me!"
Roger looked at the dumb ass kid and decided on his new nickname: Dumbass. He was the complete opposite of the great philosopher he was named after. Roger picked Dumbass up, slung him over his shoulder and carried him to his room. Roger threw Thom on the bed and tickled him.
"Go to bed. You have school tomorrow," Roger said. "Night."
Roger turned to leave the room. He flipped the switch and about to close the door when…
"Uncle Roger?"
Roger sighed. He was sick of Dumbass already. But he put on a happy smile and turned around. "Yes?" he asked sweetly.
"Mommy always kisses me goodnight."
Roger froze and looked at the kid. Dumbass wanted Roger to kiss him? This stupid, trouble-making kid who has no idea what the hell an opera is wanted Roger to kiss him?
Roger looked at his godson and realized that even if Thomas Collins Cohen was dumb, he was still his godson. And that Roger loved him as if he was his own son.
Roger walked towards Thom and pecked him on the forehead. Roger then turned away. "There, anything else?"
"Nope," Thom said cheerfully. Roger smiled at the midget squirming in the bed.
"Night then."
Roger walked out and closed the door. Roger saw Angel sitting on the couch watching TV.
"Alright let's get your ice cream then."
Angel looked up at Roger and smirked.
"Roger, it's nine thirty."
Roger looked around, he felt like there was someone behind him, distracting Angel from him. "So…."
Angel rolled her eyes. "I'll take you up on that offer Saturday night."
"W-what?"
"Night Roger."
Angel stood up and skipped into her room. Roger watched her go and sighed. He then collapsed on the sofa and took in a deep breath, almost as if he had no air for the past eleven hours.
"Thank God."
Six More Days.
Yay, it's not that great but I updated. The next chapter will be hilarious, so I'll update soon! R&R PLEASE! I need my oxygen. (Rent is my other oxygen)
