Roger's angst chapter. Enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: don't own RENT

------ --------------------------------

Roger sat on the edge of the windowsill, watching the rain fall outside the window. His mind was racing. He held the poems and drawings that Ms. Hong gave him that Thom created. He watched the rain streak down the windows, obscuring his vision of the street.

Roger caught the sight of a man. He was wearing a long trench coat, with his hands in his pockets. Roger watched him, and suddenly realized who he was.

The Man.

A young girl of probably eighteen came towards him. Roger looked at her. She had long brown hair, leather boots and a leopard jacket. She was looking around uneasily and stopped when she saw The Man. He smiled and walked towards her. He held his hand out and Roger saw the face.

He looked into those brown eyes and felt as if he was staring into the eyes of Mimi. The same young girl, who died because of that man. Those brown eyes that captivated him and made him lose control of his mind. When he remembered those brown eyes, he could feel his heart stop. Remembering the last time he looked into those brown eyes. When she was holding his hand, cold and freezing. Her mocha skin pale with disease. When she mouthed three words to him.

"I love you."

Then he could feel her hand slowly drop out of his hand. He remembered screaming and crying over her body. Begging the doctors to save her. He was screaming and yelling. Begging them to save her. He didn't care what would happen, let her live again. But then the beeping stopped. As a long high pitched scream ran through the room. Roger held Mimi's hand and saw her brown eyes slowly shut…

Roger shuddered, trying to forget it. He threw the pictures to the ground and wrapped his arms around his legs. He felt the tears running down the cheeks. He didn't care. He didn't care that it was 2 A.M. He just wanted to cry.

He leaned against the window, crying. The salt water stinging his flesh. He didn't care. He wanted her. He wanted his Mimi.

Mimi always loved the rain. It was one of her favorite times. She always loved watching the raindrops splash on the ground. She would watch from the window, longing to be out there. But she couldn't go into the rain. She would get sick.

And when it rained.

It was the only time that Mimi never spoke.

Roger picked up the pictures and looked at the poem:

Dad's a big shot at films

Making his movies sad and tear-jerking

Mom cries every time

She sees the films

I don't get it though

The pictures are just of people not working

There are people covered in grime

And I don't see why,

People cry

All it is a bunch of people dying

Dying from something they brought themselves

So why do people,

Cry?

All it is just people dying

From their own mistakes

Like the boy who dressed like a girl

And the girl who likes powder

They all did it themselves

So why,

Daddy, why?

Why do people cry?

Roger never knew that Thom had seen his father's films. Mark was always careful about what he showed the children. They never saw any of the films like; Today 4 U, Forget Regret, and Why?

The films that starred his friends, they films about his friends and their battle.

They told the kids that Uncle Roger and Uncle Collins were sick. Very sick. They tell them that Uncle Roger and Uncle Collins aren't going to around for a long time, so treat them nicely.

But Roger asked himself a question:

What was this poem he just read?

Did Thom really feel that way? Did he see Mark's films or just learn from his friends. One of Mark's documentaries was released in theatres, Today 4 U, of course. A lot of people went to see it. Did his friends see it, or their parents and talk about it?

How did Thom see them or hear?

Roger cried even more and he even let out a loud sob. He couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to read the other poems which were about him. He didn't want to look at the pictures of him and his friends framed and destroyed by someone he loved.

Roger felt the salt water in his mouth and quickly wiped the tears away. He closed his eyes and listened to the rain…

The rain that they all loved.

When Roger opened his eyes, he looked at the sky and wondered how many tears the angels could cry.

Then he wondered how many tears that they've cried.

--------- ----

Please Review!