Hiya.
This begins around when Emily first joins the team, however Rossi is already there and Gideon is already gone (I am not a Gideon fan).
It starts out mostly revolving around cases. It won't stay that way throughout.
Some important parts of the show (Hankel, Battle, Foyet, Doyle etc.) may be rewritten, skimmed over, or left out entirely, if not included as they were in the show. I'm not completely sure where this story will be going yet.
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal minds or any of its original characters.
-A xx
The team organised a night out together tonight, however I had let them know last week that I wouldn't be in attendance. It was my boyfriend's daughter's birthday, and I would be getting dinner with them.
Not that the team was too upset about my absence; I had only been with them for a short while. I was barely a part of the team, yet. Hotch still hated me.
I got ready at home, dressing in a sensible dress and straightening my hair out over my shoulders. I reapplied my daily makeup.
When I got to their house, I sat in the living room for only about ten minutes as Charli finished her hair. She asked me if I liked it, and then twirled for me to view her hair, outfit, and makeup. I smiled and told her she looked gorgeous. A thirteen-year-old girl and she was already into makeup, straightening her hair, wearing clothes like that.
I think I was about fifteen when I started to discover makeup but I also had a very different upbringing in a different time.
Ryan met us in the living room holding his coat and handing a jacket out to Charli, "Ready?" He looked at both of us. Charli left the house first, eager for us to pick up her boyfriend and best friend on the way to dinner.
He smiled at me as I walked out a step ahead of him. He squeezed my arse lightly through my dress and winked when I smiled at him over my shoulder.
We collected said teenagers and headed for the restaurant.
Ryan had booked a table and I led them all through to it once the waitress pointed me in the right direction. We sat down and I gave the menus out to them before asking what drinks they would like. The three of them opted for soda, and I assumed Ryan would like a beer. He was currently still outside having his cigarette.
I ordered three sodas, a beer, and a glass of wine for myself, and took two trips to bring them to the table. I sat quietly while I listened to the three of them talking and laughing. They looked at the menu to decide on what they wanted, and then Charli asked what was taking Ryan so long.
I got up and told them to stay seated, and I'd be back in a second. I went outside and looked for him, finding him a few metres down, leaning his hand on the wall with a woman in front of him, her back to the brick. They were making out and rage filled me. This was the second time he had done this to me, although last time he went the whole way. I forgave him the first time, my reasoning being that everyone deserves a second chance. He just blew the second chance.
I took a deep breath to calm myself down and approached him quickly. "Your daughter is asking for you, arsehole." I pulled him back and pushed him to walk towards the restaurant doors.
"Em—"
"We're going to go in there and act like everything is fine because it is your daughter's birthday, and she has friends here and I do not want to humiliate her. You will not touch me.
Then you will leave with those kids, and we are done!" I raised my voice only slightly at the end, but we were still outside, thankfully. I walked past him before he could speak and headed back to the table where the three kids waited.
I smiled when I sat down, Ryan sat beside me quietly, a frown on his face. I asked them what they wanted and the kids read me their orders. I repeated it back to myself in my head a few times so I wouldn't forget, and then I looked at Ryan. He looked back for only a second before he opted for a steak, and I went to order the meals.
Ryan and I ate silently, the kids blissfully unaware of the rage in me and the guilt in him; I could see it in his posture. They seemed to be having the time of their lives.
Finally, Ryan told them it was time to leave, and he told Charli to say goodbye to me. She questioned why I wasn't coming, but I told her I was being called into work. Lying to a thirteen-year-old girl wasn't my first choice, but I didn't want to upset her on her birthday. She hugged me tightly and thanked me for coming. I wished her a happy birthday and removed the jewellery box from my bag, handing it to her. I winked when she opened it and looked at me with shock. It was a beautiful bracelet that I knew that she would love. She would also know that it was very expensive; she was a smart girl. She thanked me profusely and hugged me again.
They left then, and I stood out the front for a few minutes by myself, finally succumbing to the sadness of being cheated on. I felt tears prick my eyes and tried to blink them away; I didn't want my mascara to run.
I unlocked my phone and called JJ. She answered just before I was going to end the call, thinking she wasn't going to pick up. I asked where they were, found it was only a few blocks from me, and told her I would be there in fifteen minutes. I set off to walk to the bar they were at.
I went straight to the bar when I got there and ordered a Jack and cola. I heard Morgan call out to me, clearly drunk, and I smiled to myself before turning around, finding them. I approached the table and smiled as I sat in the seat Morgan offered me. Once I sat and greeted them properly, JJ tilted her head, looking at me. "What's wrong?"
"What? Nothing." I shook my head with another smile.
"You're upset…"
It shocked me that she could see that. I thought I was better at hiding my emotions, but apparently not. She wasn't even a profiler. "No, I'm not." I shook my head again. She just stared back at me and the others were quiet, awaiting me to admit it. I sighed and looked down, "We were out for Ryan's daughter's birthday dinner, and I found him making out with someone else out the front."
"Excuse me, what!?" Garcia asked loudly, looking angry. They hadn't met Ryan, but Garcia and JJ had asked enough questions to know enough, and they shared their knowledge with the guys.
"Not the first time it's happened."
"But you're gorgeous…" Reid said quietly, almost to himself. He looked so confused.
I couldn't help my smile at his words, "Why thank you, Reid." He went red.
"How long had the two of you been together, again?" JJ spoke.
"Two years." I nodded and sipped at my drink. I didn't really want to discuss this with the team, especially not with Hotch sitting across from me. He was silent, just listening, but he avoided my eyes. I took a breath to calm myself down. His hostility was starting to get on my nerves.
I wondered where Haley was tonight. From the last two team outings, she seemed to really enjoy going out with the team. Maybe they couldn't find someone to watch Jack tonight.
It had been the first time I had seen Hotch falter in his stoic demeaner when Reid was kidnapped by Hankel. Watching him on those screens, telling Hankel to kill Hotch; the look on Hotch's face made me feel so sorry for him. It only lasted a second before he returned to his usual hard expression. I wanted to ask if he was okay, I wanted him to know that I was happy to listen if he needed to talk about it.
I knew he never would.
When we finally got to Reid and I saw him hugging the team, my heart almost broke. I saw the way he struggled to stay upright and how exhausted and empty he looked.
When he asked for a moment alone with Hankel, I glanced back at him and thought I saw him take something from the body, but I let it go.
It should have been the first red flag.
The second red flag was when Reid snapped at me outside of the homeless shelter in Texas. He was right that I hadn't been here all that long, but I could still see the change. I was pretty sure I knew what it was, too.
It was the dilaudid.
I fought with myself on whether to say anything to Hotch or Rossi. If I was noticing it after only knowing him a few months, then they must notice it too, right? I would have no issue speaking about it with Rossi; he was accepting of me, he included me like he did the others. Hotch, on the other hand – I don't think I could bring it up with Hotch. I didn't want him to think that I just came into his team and started to mess things up. I didn't want him to think I was just throwing accusations around about people I didn't know.
I decided against telling either of them. I would keep it to myself for a little while longer. If it got worse – if he got worse – I would say something.
Right now he was snappy, short-tempered, and he looked tired. While the side effects were there, they weren't hurting anyone yet. Well, anyone but me.
The moment he seemed to worsen, whether he looked like death or started to put the team or victims or locals in danger, then I would speak up immediately.
For now, I just hoped Rossi and Hotch could see it and were already handling it with him.
We were called out to New Orleans straight after Houston. When we arrived and met the detective, William LaMontagne Jr. I noticed his eyes for JJ immediately. The way she moved her hair over her shoulder as they interacted made it painfully obvious that she was into him, too.
Morgan and I spoke quietly about it, both noticing the chemistry.
The case wasn't easy; all the files they had were washed away with Katrina. We were essentially starting from scratch with an unsub who clearly had some history here with the past detectives.
None of the officers here who worked with William LaMontagne Sr. seemed to recall anything that could aid us. A few comments here and there, but nothing to assist us.
When Reid missed the flight with Morgan and I and lied to me about not having reception, I finally decided I needed to say something.
Out on the streets with Rossi, I couldn't stop myself when he brought up Reid.
"You don't think we haven't noticed?" He looked at me pointedly, "Hotch and I are just trying to find what is going on before we take action." I nodded, but he looked at me again, narrowing eyes, "Do you know what's going on?"
I took a breath and looked back at him, "Dilaudid." It came out before I could stop it. He took a second to look at me and think about it. He just nodded with a sigh and pulled me with him through the people around. I guessed that conversation was over.
One the plane back home, Rossi sat by himself at the furthest end of the plane and motioned for me to join him. I sat across from him and let out a breath, looking at him. "Dilaudid?" He asked.
I looked down, and then glanced behind me to Reid. He was on the couch with a book in his hands and earphones in. I turned back, "When we found him after Hankel and he asked for a moment alone…I looked back and saw him taking something—"
"Hold on," He cut me off and then motioned to someone behind me. Hotch joined us a second later, a questioning expression, and I looked down quickly. "Go." Rossi encouraged.
I glanced at Hotch again, meeting his eyes, and I shook my head as I looked back down, "When Reid took something from Hankel, it looked like a vial. I was a fair way away, but that's what it looked like. I didn't say anything, I figured I didn't know for sure, so I shouldn't bring it up.
He's been snappy with me and that worried me, but I just justified it to him feeling threatened by a new presence in the team like Hotch," Shit. I didn't mean to say "like Hotch" but now I had, and I couldn't take it back. Hotch looked at me more pointedly, but neither spoke. They waited for me to continue. "He snapped on the way there, I thought again I just touched a nerve. Then he missed that flight and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I think that he's using dilaudid…"
Rossi nodded slowly, "I was thinking the same thing."
Hotch decided for a different kind of response and he looked pissed, "That's a strong accusation."
I wondered if my comment on him feeling threatened by me was what made him so mad, or if it was because he thought I was trying to cause trouble, or if it was simply because I was me. I wanted to reply, to tell him to grow up. Instead, I just stood and went to the bathroom down the other end of the plane. I locked the door behind me and looked in the mirror, shaking my head.
The emotion from Reid these past few cases I handled rather well, but now with Hotch still being as he was, I felt my compartmentalisation slipping. My eyes filled with tears that I tried desperately to withhold.
It was just so hard to work in a team where at least two of the members hated you. One being the boss made it even worse.
I wanted desperately to be in this team; I studied and worked hard to get here. I wasn't about to let them change my entire career plan because they didn't like me.
That was easier said than done, though.
With Ryan gone now – and still struggling to deal with that fact when behind closed doors – I had no one to talk to about this. JJ would surely defend her family. It was all becoming a little too much for me to keep bottled up.
I shook my head to myself as I wiped the few tears that left my eyes and neatened my mascara. It barely ran.
I exited the bathroom, wiping a stray tear away as I closed the door behind me.
I sat down next to Morgan at the table and I overheard Rossi speak with Hotch.
"You made her cry, Aaron. Cut her some slack. She's trying to help." Rossi seemed to defend me.
"Her arrival wasn't a mix up, Dave. I don't trust her." Hotch sounded mad. I took another breath.
I caught Morgan's eyes on me, filled with sympathy. He heard them too.
"For what it's worth, I heard your theory on Reid. I agree with you. And don't worry, he didn't hear any of it." Morgan assured, a whisper beside me. I smiled appreciatively and then looked down to the book I opened in front of me.
Hopefully this would be enough to distract me until we got home where I could go have a bath and let the tears out.
