Following the case of Katie Jacobs in Potomac Hills, Virginia, Hotch had tried calling me. I left it and all his calls throughout the weekend unanswered. I knew he was calling to check up on me and I wasn't in any mood to talk about it. I also knew that he was most likely with Jack and I didn't want to interrupt that time.
Our case in Texas only took two days. Hotch didn't need me after that one.

Montana was different.
I could tell Hotch was bothered, but it didn't seem like it was the case that had him off. Especially on our drive to meet the sheriff, it seemed like the last thing he wanted to do was talk.
Talking to the missing woman's husband was when he seemed to finally soften his jaw that had been clenched since I got into work that morning.

Watching the tapes of the victims made me feel sick. I tried to focus on Goehring and his partner and not the women, but it was almost impossible not to see only them.

On the plane home I sat up the back to try and get some sleep. JJ was across from me but she was quiet.
I did fall asleep rather easily, but a half hour later I was startled awake from a nightmare, sitting up quickly taking quick, shallow breaths to try and get enough oxygen into my lungs.
JJ just watched me breathe for a few seconds before she asked if I was okay. I saw the guys over her shoulder all looking over at me too. I just nodded and took my hair out of the ponytail it was tied in.
I ran my hands over my face before settling back into my previous position. I wasn't going back to sleep, though. The nightmare was of the pear of anguish, and I didn't need to see or feel that dream again.

When we landed and I finally got up to my apartment, Hotch was already at my door. I stopped in my tracks and gave him a questioning look, "What are you doing here?"

"You haven't spoken to me since the Katie Jacobs case. You had a nightmare on the plane and you very obviously are not talking about it with anyone."

"Are you here for sex?"

He raised his eyebrows, "No…I just told you why I was here."

"I find it hard to believe that you…well…care." I just couldn't see a reason why he would be so concerned. Surely we all had nightmares; surely he didn't want to talk sometimes. Why was he here instead of with Jack?

"You're an agent of my team, Prentiss. You are new to the field; you are new to cases like this. I need to make sure that my agents are okay and coping."

"I'm fine," I nodded and unlocked the door. I had been here a while now; it wasn't so new. He didn't seem to be leaving. I sighed and looked at him again, "Is there something else?" It was snappier than I intended. I just wanted to be alone.

He took a second before replying, "What is wrong with you?" He seemed overly concerned. It bothered me.

I rolled my eyes with a shake of my head. I opened the door and walked in. I didn't bother trying to close it; I knew he was going to follow me in. How many times did you need to tell someone that you were fine?
I wasn't the "talk about it" type and I thought that was already established with the team.
I went to the kitchen and grabbed two beers. I broke one and placed it across the counter for him, and then broke my own. I put my things in their place and my gun in the safe.

I sat on the couch then and he sat beside me. "Can you just let me in?"

"It's a little early to be trying to break down barriers, don't you think?"

He thought for a second before he spoke my own words back to me, "I've seen you naked, there's not much else you need to keep from me." I couldn't help but smile at that. "The nightmare, was it from a case?"

"It was the pear of anguish," I said quickly and quietly, just trying to get it out of the way, "Happy? Can you move on now?" He just looked back at me with a hard expression, and I sighed, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be snappy, I'm just tired and frustrated."

"Frustrated with what?"

How do you tell your boss that you're sexually frustrated? Sure, I had slept with him twice now, but this didn't need to become a habit. I was just helping him out when he was down about his divorce. "Not work related." I settled for that response, although by the look in his eye I could see he had guessed what I meant anyway.

"I don't have Jack tonight. Do you want me to stay?" His voice was lowered now. He always seemed so nervous.
I closed my eyes at his offer and shook my head. I couldn't keep sleeping with my boss. What if the team found out? He was just so damn addictive. He knew how to work a woman. Haley was stupid.

We hadn't given each other head yet; there was very little foreplay needed in our first two activities. I wanted to know if he was talented at that too, but I also wasn't going to ask him or initiate that. I'd give him a blowjob, sure; I had no issue initiating that. I just didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Oral was more intimate. We didn't need to complicate things.

I just looked back at him without a word, and he kissed me softly. I could taste the beer on his lips and it drew me in more. I melted into him.
He pulled my legs out from under me to lay across the couch and he moved above me, moving from my lips to my neck. I began unbuttoning his shirt and then moved to his belt. He caught my hands and pulled back to look at me, "Not on the couch."

"What do you have against sex on a couch?" I whispered.

"…It's not intimate enough." He gave me a look that seemed like I should have already known that.

"This isn't supposed to be intimate." I shook my head. I guided him back down to my lips and kissed him, but he pulled back. I groaned and looked at him again.

"Bedroom." He didn't seem to want to budge on his intimacy rule and the argument wasn't worth it on my part. I got up and went up to my room a step behind him. He sat on the end of the bed and took his now fully unbuttoned shirt off. I stood in front of him and parted his knees with my own before dropping down to kneel in front of him. I unbuckled his belt and look at him for permission before removing his pants and underwear completely. He seemed to hesitate, "I don't know if you—"

"I want to…if you will let me." I cut him off. He nodded and I removed the rest of his clothes.
As soon as my lips met him, he jerked involuntarily into my mouth. I fought back the gag when he hit the back of throat and looked up at him, now with a full mouth. He apologised and I hummed to let him know it was okay as I began my work.
It didn't take him very long to tug on my hair and tell me to stop. I was going to, but then realised maybe if I kept going, he would return the favour since he wouldn't be able to actually have sex for another twenty minutes at least. I sped up my rhythm and he couldn't hold it back much longer. He dropped backwards onto the bed to catch his breath back and I swallowed.
I got back up from my kneel and sat on the bed beside him. I waited patiently for only a minute or so before he sat up and pushed me backwards. I fell back and my head hit the pillow. He spread my legs apart and guilt filled me; I felt like I wasn't giving him a choice. Also, this would make things more intimate. I blowjob was fine; a blowjob could be done in a dark side alley with no emotion whatsoever involved. Performing oral sex on a female was more personal.
"You don't need to do that." I shook my head.

"I want to. Besides, I'm not going to be ready to go for another fifteen minutes." He looked up from his place between my legs. I bit my lip and he groaned. He made quick work of removing my slacks and underwear in one go.
He didn't dive right in as many did. He kissed up one thigh and then down the other, and then ghosted over me a few times before starting gently. I let out a breath at the first contact with my core. I looked down again and he was looking up, watching me as he carried on. It was incredibly sexy to see him down there.
He gave me two orgasms before I pushed him away, too sensitive for more. He sat back on his legs and I saw he was hard again. I bit my lip looking at him and he let a small smirk flash on his lips as he positioned himself.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he teased my entrance.

I let out another breath and nodded, "Please." He sank in easily, the both of us letting out a moan. He kissed me passionately as he got his rhythm.


I woke to find myself positioned half on top of him, my head resting in the crook of his neck. I listened to his breathing and determined he was still asleep. I decided I could enjoy this a little while longer; I hadn't snuggled anyone in months since Ryan. I settled back carefully and his hand moved from my arm to my waist.
Only about ten minutes past before I felt him waking. I moved off him quickly in hopes that he wouldn't have noticed.
"You could have stayed where you were." He spoke quietly, his voice sleepy and raspy.

I closed my eyes at his words. That seemed like a relationship kind of thing to do. That was not what we were doing. "…Is this still meaningless sex to you?" I needed clarity, and I decided direct was best. This was only the third night we spent together; he couldn't have changed his mind this soon.

The issue was that I was beginning to think that this wasn't all meaningless to me. Hotch was the first person I had slept with since Ryan, and it was better than with Ryan. I knew that we couldn't be together in any kind of capacity. If it wasn't meaningless to him either then we needed to stop.

"I'm not sure that it was at all." He seemed nervous to say that out loud. I sat up and pulled the blanket with me to cover my chest and I looked at him. He knew I needed more of an explanation. He sighed, "Haley and I were having problems long before her affair came to light. Since you joined the team, I seem to have handled it better than previous. Learning about you was a good distraction…and you're great to look at, too."

I let out a small laugh and stopped myself as I waited for him to continue.

"I'm not trying to say that I have feelings for you, I'm just saying that getting to know you caused some physical and emotional reactions…" He trailed off. I could see he was struggling to voice what he wanted to. "No Emily, it is not meaningless to me, but I would be happy to continue if you are." I just watched him for a second before I grabbed my robe and got out of bed.
"Emily?" He asked.

"I need coffee." I left the room quickly and went downstairs.
I didn't know what to do with that!


I didn't go back upstairs. I was on my second cup of coffee when I heard him coming downstairs. He was only wearing his boxer briefs and I looked down to my coffee quickly. I turned and poured out a second mug and slid it across the counter island for him. He sat and thanked me quietly.
Neither of us spoke for another few minutes.

"So I take it you do not want to continue this."

I took a breath, "I think that you're my boss, and I'm your subordinate. I think that you are very recently separated, and I just left a two-year relationship. I think that we're both in a pretty vulnerable place and that sleeping together is only going to cause issues that we can't afford to have.
I think that if we do continue this, we need to tell the other immediately if and when any feelings start to develop."

"Deal." He nodded. I nodded too and my eyes moved down his shirtless torso without my permission. He smiled then, "Would you like me to put a shirt on?"

I shook my head, "Nope. God, I wish you didn't give me head last night."

"I'm sorry, did it not meet your expectations?" He tilted his head.

I let out a laugh, "No, it was the best head I've ever received. It's just going to make looking at you and not jumping you, harder."

He smirked and let out a small laugh. He finished his coffee and rinsed the mug out before going upstairs. He was only up there long enough to get his things, and then he was back downstairs. He walked over to me and stood close, "I need to pick up Jack," He placed one long kiss on my lips before turning, "See you Monday." He let himself out and I groaned to myself.
Why did he need to be my boss. If he were on an equivalent employment level like Morgan or Reid I would have no issue with it; we could work around rules and morals.

I rinsed my mug and went up to shower. After showering, I'd call the girls and see if they want to get lunch. If I distract myself, I'll be fine for the rest of the weekend without him.