Premonitions III: Advent Children
Chapter 4: Caught!
You're probably wondering where I was this whole time. I was on the Western Continent, with my husband, Tobin. I don't know if they came looking for us or not, but we had left our apartment in Cosmo Canyon for a picnic. In any event, Tobin and I had both agreed to retire from the risking-your-ass business.
I first met Tobin in October of 0000. He was fifteen, I was eighteen. We met by convenience; the Shinra boarded me with him when I was a Turk. Tobin, meanwhile, was in some program that was eventually terminated.
I could tell he didn't like me at first. It was my fault; I mothered him too much. Of course, that was part of my job; as a Turk, I was responsible for the well-being of all Shinra interns. That's one of the reasons we got paid a lot more than SOLDIER members.
We did become friends eventually. We later even became best friends. Originally, it was a title I had inherited after his best friend died from heart failure. But it grew, and, soon enough, I realized he was my best friend, too.
But that was all I had seen him as. I think a teenage Tifa tried to set us up on a date once, but we didn't think of it that way. Or, at least, I didn't.
The course of our relationship was changed after a literal slip of the tongue. It was after Meteor had been summoned, and Zack and Tobin thought they had nothing left to lose. So they decided to get themselves killed at the Island Gulag, the Shinra's depository for political prisoners, failed experiments, and people who just knew too much.
I was hopeful that, somehow, we would survive Meteorfall. I begged him not to go; that didn't work. I tried reasoning with him; that didn't work. And then, I said something even I couldn't believe I said: "If you come back alive, we have to get married!"
Funny.
Every since I was a little girl, I thought I would never get married. I was raised by the Shinra, which should be all I need to say on that matter.
And then, there I was, walking down the aisle in a wedding dress, standing at the alter and reciting my vows, and suddenly going from Miss Alicia Jane Reynolds to Mrs. Alicia Reynolds Lockheart. That day lost one Lockheart and gained another, and an hour before I didn't even see it coming.
Don't get me wrong, I was beyond happy about it. Every five minutes, for the rest of the day, the same thought popped in my head: "Oh my God, I'm a wife!" I'll admit that I made the effort not to cry tears of happiness in front of everyone, but, later, as I was standing inside in my wedding dress, preparing to change into my street clothes, I cried a waterfall.
It meant that Tobin and I would never be apart again.
We did, by the way, go on a honeymoon. We didn't plan it ahead, because we didn't even know we were getting married that day. We finally left for one three days after the wedding. We actually went to Eros Nova. This was the notorious island with a prude side and a nude side. For the record, we stayed on the prude side. Amusingly, this was at the same time Zack and everyone landed there to look for Sephiroth, but we never knew that until later.
I had bought five bikinis before we left; a different color for each day. I will say we had a blast.
Mostly.
On the first day, we went to the beach. I wore my white bikini with the name "Mrs. Lockheart" written in cursive on the back of the bottoms. For fun, I also wore my bridal veil; I kept my head above the water at all times anyway.
On the second day, we went snorkeling. I wore my pink bikini, which didn't go well with the black flippers they gave us.
On the third day, we went zip-lining and explored the jungle. I wore capris and a tank top, though I had a green bikini for the lagoon afterward.
We spent the fourth day in the hotel pool. The pool had one of those pool bars. I wore my blue bikini that day. It was also where I drank my first Sex on the Beach. Now I know why they call it that; it was fucking close to water.
And that was where I screwed up. But I'll get into more detail about that later.
On the final day, we went to the beach again. I promised Tobin that if he was good, I'd wear a thong, so I wore one. I didn't get a lot of stares; a lot of women were wearing them, even though it was the prude side. I even saw a waitress in a thong serving drinks!
But all good things must come to an end, so we headed home. And then, there we were at our picnic. We were out in a grassy field, next to a couple of shrubs for shade.
I was barefoot in a green skirt and tank top. That's one thing I noticed when I got married, by the way; after years of going to work in a suit and tie, I've been dressing more feminine. I don't believe in gender roles, but I'd like to put my Turk past behind me. Besides, I don't think Tobin even saw me in a skirt or a dress until we got married.
I was laying on my back, with my head in Tobin's lap. He had just given me a shoulder rub, and it was so good it almost made me want to fall asleep.
He noticed my eyes closing, and asked me if I was okay.
"Just happy to be spending a day with my boy," I replied. "But that massage was so good I'm about to pass out."
With that, I sat up. I then positioned myself on my knees, and smiled at him.
"Lay down," I commanded.
Tobin lay down on his stomach, expecting a massage in return.
"No," I replied, "on your back."
He turned over, wondering what was going on.
He wasn't getting a massage. I had noticed that nobody was around, and that there was also foliage to hide us, and thus a naughty idea popped into my mind.
"I've got a special treat for you," I said as I reached down and unzipped his pants.
He smiled at me, knowing exactly what was about to happen.
I smiled back at him before lowering my head down.
Before anyone says that it's too much information, let me remind you that Tobin is my husband. Most married couples try kinky stuff at least once in a while.
I did say most.
Tifa notoriously won't do that. And don't ask me how I know.
MEANWHILE...
Minutes earlier, Cloud, Tifa, Vincent, Yuffie, and Zack disembarked the Highwind, and dashed into the thicket. They immediately saw a flight of metal stairs leading into the ground.
"This way!" Zack exclaimed as he led them down the stairs.
At the bottom were three portals on the wall. The one they were facing was under a big letter "W." The one to the left was under an "S." The one to the right was under an "N."
"This is the teleporter you mentioned?" Cloud asked.
"You got it," Zack replied.
You might have heard about this teleporter from the postscript in my husband's memoir, which he didn't write (the publisher added it). Basically, everyone (minus Cloud and Tifa, who weren't there) chased Sephiroth to the Southern Continent, passing through a lot of nasty barriers. In the end, they discovered the teleporter, which, as the name implies, teleported them back to the Western Continent. There are four teleporters; one on each continent.
This was also where they lost him the last time. They chased Sephiroth into the teleporter. By the time they got down the flight of stairs, Sephiroth had already gone through one of the portals. There was no way to tell which one; they randomly selected the one to the Western Continent. Obviously, Sephiroth had escaped to the Eastern Continent instead.
This time, they knew exactly where to go.
The Western Continent.
He had petrified prisoners that he needed to free before he travelled back in time.
All five pursuers run through the portal under the "W." They charged up the stairs and out of the thicket, to find Sephiroth fleeing through the grassy field.
"Give it up!" Cloud shouted.
But Sephiroth kept ahead. He ran like he had never run before; Sephiroth was much faster than he appeared. He kept running through the grassy field, always remaining several yards ahead of his pursuers.
And then, the foliage came into view.
The same foliage that was currently concealing an X-rated act between Tobin and I.
From the other side of the foliage, nobody could tell what I was doing. Only my butt and legs were visible. Like I said, my skirt was green, and it looked like an extension of the shrub. In other words, it was really hard to see me.
Sephiroth certainly didn't.
I noticed when I felt pain in my legs. I also noticed when I heard the sound of a thud behind me. I turned around to see Sephiroth face-down on the ground. I gasped in both shock and horror; whether he had seen us was the least of our concern.
I was half-expecting him to stab us, but that didn't happen. Sephiroth quickly rose to his feet and resumed running.
"Shit," I muttered. "We've got company."
Tobin zipped up his pants and stood up.
I stood up myself. And I duly popped a mint.
Less than a second later, I saw Cloud, Tifa, Zack, Yuffie, and Vincent whip past me as if I wasn't even standing there.
We then saw the Chronus Wand begin to glow.
I knew exactly why; him tripping over my legs allowed his pursuers to catch up with him. He realized there was no way he would reach his frozen "children" now. He would need to execute his plan without them.
A few moments later, a distortion appeared in front of him. Before anyone could say anything, Sephiroth disappeared into the distortion.
"After him!" Cloud commanded.
Cloud was the first to disappear into the distortion, followed by Tifa, then Zack, then Yuffie, and then, finally Vincent.
Then, the distortion dissipated.
"What the hell just happened?!" Tobin exclaimed.
"That looks like the Chronus Wand," I pointed out.
"Tifa..." Tobin sadly whispered.
For a few moments, he did think his cousin was gone forever.
I wrapped my arms around Tobin to comfort him. When I took a vow to commit my life to him, I meant it. And it hurt me to see him hurt.
And then, out of the blue, another distortion appeared. Moments later, Cloud, Tifa, Vincent, Yuffie, and Zack emerged from the distortion. Cloud was holding the Chronus Wand. Zack, meanwhile, was leading Sephiroth, who was in shackles and handcuffs, and somehow sedated as well. Cloud, Tifa, Zack, Yuffie, and Vincent were wearing tee shirts that read "Philadelphia Eagles" on them. The bound Sephiroth was wearing one that read "New England Patriots."
"Where the hell were you?" Tobin asked, obviously relieved.
"You don't really want to know," Zack replied.
The five victors then turned to us.
"Thanks for tripping him," Cloud said to me.
"Otherwise we never would have caught him," Tifa added.
"Nice job." added Zack.
Both Tobin and I blushed in unison.
If only they had known what we were doing.
I guess now I finally get the "job" part of slang term for it!
