Kiseki

Here's chapter five. The baby doctor makes her appearance, and Lyserg and Yoh are afraid. Very, very afraid. I love writing about Hotaru. She's based off a friend of mine who loves Lyserg and babies. She's not a Mary Sue, but she'll be playing a large role in the story later on. And my parents got a new computer! It won't be breaking anytime soon!

And big news, I have finally decided on the baby's (or babies') looks, personality(s), and gender(s). I still need help with the names though. I'm not the b est at naming characters.

Will this doctor be a blessing, or a curse? She seems to know what she's doing, but is overly eager to discuss every intimate part of Yoh and Lyserg's relationship. Hao has decided to show Horo the roles of the relationship, despite Horo's wishes. And now that Jun's in on Pirika's plan, how will things change?

Disclaimer: I wish I did. I really, really do so I could pair up all the boys and, well... I can't say any more without going to adult fanfic . net.

Chapter Five- Isha, Doctor

"Hi, my name's Hotaru Baek, but feel free to call me Hotaru, Psycho, or Flame Brain; I answer to all. It's nice to meet you both. I will be overseeing your pregnancy from here on out. Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, would the pregnant person please remove his clothing and lay on the table-thing?"

These were not the most encouraging words to hear from the person your future child's life was to depend on. And while these words would not have been welcome from a kind, middle aged woman they had been expecting, they were even less encouraging coming from the girl in front of Yoh and Lyserg.

This girl, one must understand, was barely older than Yoh or Lyserg. In fact, saying she was three years older was a bit of a stretch. The attire didn't help matters much either. While accustomed to Faust's gothic attire, he looked tame compared to this girl. First, she wore black; A LOT of black. A sleeveless shirt with a white skull emblazoned across the front was paired with extremely baggy bondage pants (Yoh pictured them big enough to fit the girl, Lyserg, and maybe Ren all at once). Platform army boots and gloves that encased nearly her entire arm were also the depressing color. The entire outfit was completed with more belts, spikes, straps, and studs than any sane person would wear. Then again, one of the names she did say to refer to her as was Psycho. The Flame Brain part was also easy to see. Her shockingly red hair was streaked (also with black), and her smoky eye makeup gave the illusion that her bright green eyes burned.

This was the doctor Faust had guaranteed them to be the best?

"Well?"

"Um, excuse me Miss-" Yoh was cut off quickly.

"Like I said, call me Hotaru, Psycho, or Flame Brain. Miss sounds way too formal."

"Okay. Hotaru, what are you planning on doing?"

"Why checking on the baby of course."

"With what?" The question was valid. Except for the examining table and such, there didn't seem to be a single piece of equipment.

"My mana."

"What?"

"Didn't Faust explain anything to you?" she shook her head with a big smile. "I'll try to explain it best I can. Because powerful shamans have lots of mana to go around, they have to worry about keeping it stable and making sure the baby is getting the right amount or all of holy hell can break loose. Wait, no, I said that wrong. Let's just say if the ickle baby-kins' getting too much or not enough mana it can mean major problems later on. So, I'm gonna check to make sure Lyserg's mana's working the way it should." Her smile widened. "Plus, I should get some kind of idea of what's protecting the baby from the rest of Lyserg's insides. Not to mention its escape route."

"Escape route?" Lyserg echoed.

"Un-huh. Need to check if the baby's gonna leave via caesarian or through some magic hole that's not supposed to be there." she paused a moment to think. "But now that I think of it, even if a magic hole were to appear, I'd still go with the caesarian. Boy hips aren't exactly made to squeeze out babies. Specially your skinny hips."

Yoh blinked. Her words did make sense; in a creepy, psychotic, don't let her near anything flammable or pointy kind of way. "Oh… What's a caesarian?"

"Caesarian section." Hotaru corrected. "That's where instead of the baby being born naturally, we take a scalpel, slice through the flesh of the belly, into the womb, and pull out the baby. Kinda like a magician pulling a rabbit from his hat, huh? Except it's a lot messier that way." Clapping her hands together, she turned to the happy (if not slightly disturbed couple). "Okay, now that I've answered all your questions-"

"Actually, I have a few more-"

Hotaru promptly ignored Lyserg's words.

"-let's get the preggy boy naked and on the table!"

It had taken some convincing and reassuring hand holding from Yoh, but Lyserg agreed to taking off his shirt and allowing Hotaru to examine him.

"Damn you're skinny." Were the first words out of Hotaru's mouth. "But soon you'll be plump and round with a full baby belly. Now first off, let's see what's holding the widdle baby."

It felt odd, to say the least, when Hotaru's still gloved hands probed at Lyserg's waist. Not painful or uncomfortable; just strange. The dowser could feel the warmth of the mana as it traveled along his stomach, sometimes pausing or flaring with extra mana; leaving cool, tingling trails behind. At random points she'd 'hmm' or mumble to herself. Her eyebrows were drawn up in concentration, and would have reassured the expecting parents that she knew what she was doing if she wasn't biting her tongue like a finger painting five year old.

"Well," she drew her hand away after a few moments, "Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Shaman King. You're pregnant."

"We know." Lyserg all but growled as he tugged his shirt back on.

"Is the baby healthy?" Yoh cut in quickly.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Your baby's as healthy as any other baby when it's a month along." She smiled widely.

Yoh and Lyserg breathed a sigh of relief. The information was more than welcome.

"Turns out that your body has created a womb in your belly, but there's no vagina or ovaries or any other girl parts. So, looks like I won't have to be checking for any magic holes. Or advising to a healthy and frequent sex life for that matter." She said the last words with a great and obvious sense of disappointment. Looking up to see Lyserg's and Yoh's blank faces (Lyserg more from the fact she had been planning to check for the 'magic hole' than the sex advice), she added, "Sex's actually good for the baby and helps with delivery. That's why I advise for gentle yet frequent boinking throughout pregnancy. Actually, I still recommend having sex throughout pregnancy. Just try to find positions that won't stress Lyserg's body too much."

"Um… Okay." Yoh blinked. She giving them sex advice; and did she just say 'boinking?' "Is there anything else we should know?"

"Yeah. I hate to get really serious here, but this is a high risk pregnancy. I'm not exactly sure how this is all gonna work out. Like I said before, mommy's really skinny. And even if his hips are girlish, they're still man hips. That's gonna make carrying the baby difficult. Women are made to carry widdle babies in their tummies. That's why our hips are so wide and we have a higher body fat percentage then boys. With Lyserg's body, there's only an isty bit of fat that's not nearly enough to cushion the babe; and your hips are way too slender to cradle him. Even if the baby's okay, Lyserg's gonna be in pain from the constant pressure and weight starting anywhere from the middle of trimester number two to the beginning of trimester numero tres if not earlier. Plus there's the thing about being a literal Mr. Mom. Your body's accepting the womb being there for now, but once it gets bigger it might try and get rid of it. According from Faust's examination, your hormones are already out of wack. There's no telling how much more they'll riot for the next couple of months. I'm not gonna lie to you, but there's a chance that's not too small that Lyserg or the baby could come out of this as a spirit."

Her face suddenly broke out into a huge smile. "But that's why I'm here! To make sure that Mommy and the precious gift from above come out of this strong and healthy! So trust me, you're in the best hands there are! And as for the doctor's orders, most women increase their diet by 300 calories, but I want you to increase yours to 500 for the time being to see if we can get some fat on your skinny bones. Make sure he gets it Dad. A couple of small meals throughout the day should be best, and try to cut down on the junk. Try more fruits and veggies, especially leafy green ones. Start drinking lots of fruit juice, water, and about 32 ounces of milk every day instead of tea or soda or coffee anything; caffeine is something you should cut down on. Whole grains have more fiber, and work better when they're eaten with meat. Speaking of meat, protein is your friend. It plays a vital role in making tissue of the heart, lungs, brain, eyes and stuff of the baby. Oh! And red meats help prevent anemia! Cravings are your body's way of telling you, you need something; so listen to them. Exercise and stretching are good, but not ones that make you lose your breath or bend weird. Try to avoid any forms of spirit control, because it'll throw your mana outta wack. Faust gave me a list of the vitamins he prescribed you, and it looks good to me. Any questions?"

"No, I think you covered everything." That was a bit of an understatement.

"Great. I'll start seeing you every two weeks for now. And call me right away if you anything strange, ANYTHING at all. I'm staying with Faust and Eliza until I get an apartment nearby, so call their number or the clinic's. I'm stressing it again that this is a high risk pregnancy, and that it needs to be closely monitored. Now, get out of here and go eat. I'll see you both in two weeks, and let me know if the morning sickness gets bad."

"Will do. See ya later." Yoh waved.

"And, um…" was Lyserg really gonna say this? "Thank you for helping us. It must have been difficult to leave your home just to assist us."

"No prob. Me and Faust have been planning for me to come work here for a while. You guys just shipped me here a little earlier than planned." Suddenly she clasped her hands together in true, cliché, romantic, shojo fashion. "Plus, it's the world's only mpreg! It's like a yaoi fanfic come to life! Not just that, but it's the Shaman King's baby. How could I refuse something like that?"

"Yeah. Thanks again." Yoh shut the door with a sigh of relief.

"So, what do you think of Miss Hotaru?" Faust asked when Yoh and Lyserg stopped by his office to bid farewell.

"She's… interesting." Lyserg said.

"Yes, Miss Hotaru is a bit odd. But I assure you that despite her quirks and young age, she is a highly skilled doctor and is experienced in shaman births."

"We don't doubt you Faust." Yoh rubbed the back of his head. Despite her recommendations, there was one thing about Flame Brain that could not be denied.

That woman was insane.

:-:-:-:-:

"Are you certain?" Jun looked at the younger girl in surprise. She had simply stopped by to see her little brother, but when she discovered that Pirika was present, the Tao had decided to pay a visit. Upon entering the Ainu's room, she found Pirika working on the baby's surprise, and demanded to know the reason.

"Yoh and Lyserg are having a baby?"

"Oh yeah. Lyserg's a month along. He and Yoh went see a doctor today. She flew in from Korea and Faust says that she's the best doctor for the job."

Jun gestured to the abundant amount and fabric and such strewn across the floor. "And all this is for the baby then?"

"All of it." Pirika lifted a teddy bear and squeezed it. "Isn't everything adorable?"

"Absolutely. You must let me help you with this."

"I'd be happy to; just as long as you're sworn to secrecy, that is."

"There's just one thing I must ask you."

"Oh?" Pirika looked at the elder girl. "What's that?"

"Should we really be doing this on such a small scale? I mean, if we have eight months to prepare, why not make this something truly spectacular?"

And with those words, Jun and Pirika had sealed the fate of the unborn child and its unsuspecting parents.

:-:-:-:-:

"Horo."

Horo rolled over, all but glaring at the pyro prone shaman. He had spent the night lugging all his stuff from Ren's room back to his (something the Chinese shaman was extremely grateful for, though his body did not share the same sentiments), it was still another thirty-eight minutes until one, and it was Sunday. It was a sin to get up before one on a Sunday. Unless Hao had a friggin important reason for waking the ice shaman at such an ungodly hour, he was going down. One thousand years of age and an unspeakable about of mana more or no; Horo was going to fight and come out victorious. "What Hao?"

"Get dressed."

Glare.

"What are you waiting for?"

"I'm not getting up. Go away."

"Get up Horo."

"Go screw yourself."

"I'd rather-"

"Ack! Pervert!"

Hao sighed. He didn't have time for this.

When Hao retreated, Horo sank further into the covers, thinking Hao had given up. A few moments of bliss passed uninterrupted, before the blanket was torn rudely away.

"Hey!"

"I told you to get up. It's time you learned your place." With that, Hao pulled Horo's shirt off.

"What the Hell! Get off of me!"

Hao struggled to hold the ice shaman still. "Why should I?"

"Hao, I'm serious! Get off of me right now!"

"Not until I've finished what I've started."

Despite the lashing limbs and yelling, Horo was powerless to stop Hao. That explained Horo's current situation. He sat on the bed, now dressed in a black sleeveless shirt and white jeans; pouting.

"Come here. We're going."

"No way. I'm staying right here."

Rather than argue, Hao took matters into his own hands; or more specifically, over his shoulder.

"Put me down!"

"No."

Horo kicked and screamed the entire way down the stairs. In the living room, Horo found his salvation.

"Ren! Ren, save me! He's got something evil planned! I know it! Ren, you gotta help me!"

Golden eyes left the book for a moment, before returning to the text. "Learn to help yourself Baka Ainu."

"Ren you prick!" The door shut. "NOOOO!"

:-:-:-:-:

Ren looked up as the couple entered. "How did it go?"

Before the couple could answer, a loud squeal blocked out anything they had said. In mere seconds, both Tao Jun and Usui Pirika hurdled into the room, somehow managing to crowd around Yoh and Lyserg with only two people.

"Oh Yoh, Lyserg, I just heard the news! Congratulations!"

"You just came back from the doctor, didn't you? What did she say! Is the baby healthy?"

"Do you know how many there are? What recommendations did she give you?"

"What was the doctor like? Was she completely freaked to find out Lyserg was a boy?"

"Wait, wait." Lyserg halted the excited bombardment of questions the girls were hurling at him. "What do you mean, 'how many?'"

"Well I was just thinking." Jun asked innocently. "If you're pregnant, how can we be sure that you weren't blessed with more than one child? If you're only a month along, it won't be known how many children there are."

"Oh how wonderful!" Pirika gushed. "Lyserg could be having twins!"

"Tw-twins?"

Another cliff hanger. I'm getting bad at this. I don't think Lyserg ever thought about having more than one baby. Of course, I'm not saying he is. He may have one, he may have three. I'm not telling! I'm not saying what the gender(s) are yet either. Please continue sending in ideas and names, especially names that have their meaning with them. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I truly appreciate it.

Next chapter, Horo's lessons from Hao will begin. Don't worry, this will remain teen, or worry, depending on how you like your yaoi. Anna's plan begins to take shape, but is she more evil than Hotaru? Speaking of Hotaru, why does Ren know her, and what's this kid with red hair doing at Yoh's house? Lyserg's hormones begin to let loose, and Yoh is on the receiving end.

And as a side note, I have gotten requests to do more Hao/Horo fics. Should I write one that explains how they got together in this fic? Just an idea I've been playing with.

Thank you to all the wonderful reviewers. This chapter I will respond with letters sent to the homes of the reviewers.

Dear KuroUsagi,

I'm glad I made your weekend. There should be more YohxLyserg. I'm glad you enjoy my work, and I'll update as much as possible. Thank you for your comments, and Horo thanks you for the pity. It'll only get worse for him here on out.

Dear Luna-san,

I'm happy you enjoy my stories even though you don't enjoy yaoi. No, at the moment I do have any other stories. I can tell from you review where the randomissity comes from. I'll keep an eye out for you stories. Thank you for reviewing.

Dear Sonseray,

Lyserg will be very happy. He's going to have a child, or more. It was hard to have Hao swallow his pride enough to almost apologize, one of the reasons the last chapter was so late. Thanks for reviewing.

Dear NaTsUkO-ChAn,

Horo's torment has only just begun. The horomones will get rearing their ungly heads soon. Maybe you should start to pity Yoh... Anyway, I hope this chapter answered your questions on Lyserg's body. It's going to become painful as time goes one. Many thanks for your review.

Dear kr92,

Like I said before, I'm thinking of doing a HaoHoro in this fandom. But if you want a really good HaoHoro story, look up, Take Comfort in His False, Twisted Love. It's really dark, but I love it and I think it's defiantly worth looking at. But don't worry. I'll continue with your stories. Thank you for your review.

Dear e n t w i n e d d e s t i n y,

I'm sorry, but it didn't show up last time. Thank you for reviewing, putting the information in this review, but most of all, putting the meanings of the names you suggested. I care more about the meaning of the name than the name itself. I'll try to keep this cute.

Dear Grace,

For some reason, I am strangely unperturbed with you questions of my personal life. I live in northwest Pennsylvania. If you go into the forest, next to this really big tree you'll see a rock. If you look under it, you'll find my house, a bunch of old people and young couples, and The Store from the last chapter. Thank you for review.

Dear Dark Angel of Hatred,

I am defiantly rethinking the meaning of the name. I'm glad you enjoy this story and the other story I'm working on with my friend. Thanks for reviewing.

Dear xxAlice The Insomniac,

Thank you for complimenting my story. The first 'chapter' is actually the prologue. Many thanks for reviewing.

Thank you all for reviewing, please continue to do so.

Ja min'na-san.