A/N: Not too much rambling for this chapter! But! I forgot to mention that the whole "JEANS RULE!" thing was Shannon's idea. More props to her! ON WITH THE STORY: p

The Crazy Life

El Kitchen

So maybe I have to work on my Spanish. I think kitchen is cocina… or maybe that's movies. Gah, who cares? If I ever go somewhere where the language is spoken… I'll make Alicia translate for me. She's always liked talking in Spanish.

So anyway, I'm in the kitchens. All the little house elves were more then happy to get me apple pie and ice cream. There's this one, she's my favorite, her names Stinky. I'm not sure why they call her that. She doesn't smell bad at all. Maybe she used to.

Anyway, so Stinky runs up to me as fast as her little legs could possibly run and she skids to a halt right in front of me. I laugh a little because she's so adorable. She is though! She has these humongous brown eyes, big floppy ears, and squished tomato nose.

"Miss Bell!" she squeaks as she stops, about fifteen house elves behind her. "Miss Bell!" they all echo. It's so adorable. "What would Miss Bell like?" Stinky asked.

"Hey, Stinky!" I say, more then happy to see her. "Can I have some apple pie? With ice cream?"

"Right away, Miss Bell," three of the house elves say. They're like Freds and Georges, always talking in union. But those two don't do it on purpose. Now that I think of it, I don't think the house elves do either.

After a little hassle of trying not to step on the elves and getting me to a table, Stinky came up to me with a whole apple pie and a tub thing of ice cream. Now if this wasn't heaven, then I don't know what is.

I gasp. "Thanks Stinky!" I said to her, picking her up and hugging her.

"Any time, Miss Bell, any time," Stinky says as I put her back down in the little group of house elves. Whoa, what if they started a mosh pit! How cool would that be? As long as they didn't get hurt or anything because that would suck. The hospital wing would be filled with the helpful little house elves.

I ate my pie and sat there with Stinky. The others were bustling around the kitchen, trying to prepare dinner. Why would I eat pie before dinner? I don't think I'll ever know the answer. But at least those bad habits of not eating dessert before dinner that my mom taught me are finally wearing off. I could dance.

Five… four… three… two… one….

Okay, good. I thought she was going to poof out of nowhere on my shoulder.

Merlin, this pie is good! Angelina would be envious if she were here. She loves pie. Not as much as I do. I don't think I've ever mentioned my pie obsession. That's just bizarre.

But apple pie is my favorite. It's just the bomb digity. But anyway, enough of my pie obsession.

"So, Stinky," I said to my favorite little house elf. "How's life here in the kitchen?"

"Tis pretty good, Miss Bell. Soon I should be cleaning the Common Rooms!" Stinky exclaimed. Wow, she's excited about cleaning up our crap. I wish I had that motivation! My room at home would be so much cleaner! But normally when I get back it's all clean. We have a house elf at home too. But he's not as cool as Stinky. Actually, Doinks is kind of mean. I've never liked him. Well, I mean I might have when I was little… but then I tried to give him my sock (I was what? Two? I didn't know any better!) and he ran out of the room screaming like a mad elf. We've never been close friends.

"Good for you, Stinky!" I said, making the house elf beam. I love when they're happy.

"Yes. Stinky is very proud," Stinky said, smiling with her crooked little smile. It's so adorable. "Miss Bell?"

"Yeah, Stinky?"

"Is you're hair red?" Stinky asked, pointing to my head.

"Yes Stinky," I said with a laugh. It's not at bad anymore.

So, I sat there eating my pie and we heard a squeak.

"What was that, Stinky?" I asked.

"Someone's here, Miss Bell," Stinky said. "Get down, Miss Bell, get down."

I listened to Stinky and ducked under the table. About fifty or so house elves ran in front of the teeny tiny table to block me.

"Katie?" came the voice of Lee Jordan… who I forgot to kill, mind you. I'll have to remember that the next time I get the change. I'm still not used to that red hair thing.

I poked my head out of the gaggle of house elves. That must have looked funny. A butt load of house elves and a little tiny human head behind them all. How strange.

"Katie! I know you're here!" Lee shouted. I tried to stand up but the house elves still blocked me in.

"Guys," I whispered. "Guys, its okay. It's Lee. He's cool."

The house elves all separated and I got out from under the table so I could stand up. "Heyyyy Lee," I said once I stood up. "Oh yeah. I have to kill you." Man, I can make a killing statement into an ordinary conversation like that. Yes, I just snapped.

"Wh-what? Why?" he asked me. Now he's all nervous and what not. Yes, that's definitely why I'm here. The cause eternal chaos and to entertain. Yup. That's about it.

"Oh, I don't know," I said sweetly. "The hair maybe?"

"Oh! That! It was supposed to be directed to your room mates!" Lee said.

"Which ones?" I asked. If he did it to Debbie, I'd have to kick some butt. But all the others (with the exception of Leanne) are okay to now have red hair. But no it's me who gets it. Go figure.

"This one stalker girl. Courtney maybe… I don't know. She's been tracking Fred and George around for about a month now…" Lee said. Go figure. Who wouldn't want to stalk the twins, get caught, and get the crap pranked right out of them? I mean, that's what I live to do.

"Oh, well yeah, the plan kind of didn't work. It kind of got me," I said to him. Which kind of sucked.

"But this makes it better!" Lee yelled and ran out of the kitchens knowing that when I catch him I'm going to kick his butt.

"I'll see you later, Stinky!" I yell, grabbing my bag and chasing Lee out the door.

I ran down the corridor and saw him turn a corner. I chased him and turned the corner.

"BOO!" Lee yelled. I screamed and turned around and ran the other way. I could hear him laughing though so I turned back around.

I saw him leaning against the wall, clutching his side and laughing his head of. I whacked him in the head and he stopped laughing.

"Hey!" he said.

"That was for scaring the crap out of me," I said and then I kicked him in the shin. If I could take Flint then I could take Lee I'm not sure what his middle name is Jordan. "And that's for causing my hair to be dyed red!"

He looked astonished and I walked away.

"It's not my fault you don't check what you put in your hair!" Lee protested.

"I shouldn't have to!" I yelled back. Oh, he's getting me mad. Mad to the extreme! I knew today was going to be bad. I just knew it!

"Well… um… BAH!" Lee yelled, storming off. Whoa, does this mean we're fighting?

"ARGH!" I shouted and stormed off after him because he was going to the Great Hall and I was hungry.

I sat down next to George and put some chicken on my plate.

"Katie looks like she's in a pickle," George said to Fred.

"I think she is in a pickle," Fred agreed, waving his fork around.

"It looks like Mr. Lee Jordan is also," George commented, acting like the commenter for a Quidditch match. "Just watch as he stabs that carrot fiercely. The poor carrot. It didn't stand a chance."

"And look at Miss Bell," Fred said, (still rhymes!) poking his head around George's shoulder. "If that chicken was alive, then she would be killing it."

George looked at Fred. "That was a terrible comment, my dear brother."

"You took all the good ones," Fred said, ehe.

They stopped talking and finished eating.

It was the most awkward silence that I've ever had. Even though me and Lee are separated by the loudest twins alive, we were still dead silent.

"Katie?" came a familiar voice. I think it was my other roommate, Leanne.

I turned around and saw that she, too, had red hair. I gasped and stood up. Fred and George were trying not to laugh and Lee was looking guilty.

"Leanne!" I shouted. Now, I feel horrible. I should have told them to warn her! How could everyone else not have any common sense? "Did you use the shampoo?"

She nodded solemnly. I hugged her. I don't know why. It just seems right. That's what people do. They hug at random moments. We're like… really friendly aliens…. Yeah, George did steal all of the good sayings.

"No one told me about it and I thought I was dreaming this morning so I didn't even check," Leanne explained. Her normally beautiful dark brown hair was just a darker shade of red then mine. I felt horrible. I hope Lee feels worse.

"I am so sorry," I apologized. "I blame my … well… I blame Lee. He's the one who did it."

Lee just kind of ducked under the table. Great, now I feel bad. Darn you conscience.

Leanne looked over at Lee and gave him a kind of pathetic look. Fred and George were now shaking with laughter.

"It's fine. Just as long as it wears off," Leanne said.

"Oh, it will," I assured her. It had better. I mean, I know that Lee said a week but still… if it doesn't come out he's going to get tossed in the lake.

"Okay, well, I'm going to get back to dinner. Today's been pretty depressing," Leanne said with a sigh. I watched her walk back to Debbie and some other people that I don't know.

"I hope you're happy," I said to Lee. He groaned and put his head in his hands. "And you two can stop laughing any time now."

Sunday November 14th

I am going to kill Lee Jordan. I made this week hell for him because of the whole hair incident. It's been eight days, and you know what? ME AND LEANNE STILL HAVE RED HAIR! He said a week. One week. Seven days. A Saturday to Saturday thing. But no. It's been eight days and not my best week.

For example:

Quidditch Practice

"Katie?" Harry asked. "Is your hair… red?"

"Yes, Harry," I said. "You see my dear brother, sometimes pranks are funny and sometimes they're just cruel. This would be a cruel one."

"So, you'd get mad at me if I laughed?" Harry asked.

I sighed. "Yes, Harry. I'd be mad."

Potions

"Does anyone know what a dragon flies wings does when added to the anti-depression potion?" Snape asked the class Monday morning.

I raised my hand to answer because I actually knew what the answer was. I was so proud too.

"Bell?" he asked, looking at me. "Tell me what you…" Then he just stopped and glared. "Take that wig off immediately."

"It's not a wig sir," I said to Snape.

I got detention for disruption of the class.

Now, poor Lee might have had it worse. At first, I didn't talk to him but that wasn't really good enough. So I was going to put a box on his head but I accidentally knocked over his inkbottle and it spilled all over his potions essay. I felt bad so I didn't do the whole 'box' thing.

Now that I think about it, the fight we had was a pretty stupid one. But I'm not going to stop being stubborn until my red hair… because unred. And Leanne's too because she's had it bad, also.

From what I've heard, a group of Slytherin first years were making fun of her. If I were there I would kick some butt. But I wasn't. She did get them back though, by putting a sticking charm on their shoes so they were stuck in the hallway for two or three classes. Now they fear her. It's great. They fear Leanne. She's almost as nice as Debbie.

I should be working on the Potions essay that's due tomorrow. I've only got a couple more inches to go. It helps to know what I'm going to write though.

I guess I'll just go down to the Common Room.

Common Room

Hey! Our team was having a team meeting without the whole team! Fred, George, Oliver, Angelina, Alicia, and Katie were all there. Oh yeah, Harry, too. I couldn't see him behind Fred. Why wasn't I informed about this meeting? Not that I would want to listen to Oliver ramble about how he wants to win the cup but at least I would have been included!

"Hey, team," I said to everyone, walking over to the little gaggle of people. That is just the coolest word ever. Gaggle. Isn't it awesome?

Anyway, the team just kind of looked up at me. "'Ello Katie," Oliver said. He looked like he was trying not to laugh.

Okay, I'm getting sick of this whole 'HEY EVERYONE! KATIE'S HAIR IS STILL RED! LETS POINT AND LAUGH!' thing. It's quite annoying.

"Why wasn't I invited to out pirate meeting?" I asked. Tis a good question though. I mean, I am part of the team after all. I should be notified when the rest of said team gets together!

"Pirate?" Harry asked.

Fred gave him a look and said, "We'll explain when you're older, Harry."

Harry now is stuck with a horrified expression on his face. Poor dear.

Yes, it is a shame.

Ew! You're back!

Way to welcome, deary.

Sorry to be rude but I'm in a confused state right now. Please leave my brain.

I have to bake cookies anyway.

Wow.

Anyway, I looked at them, awaiting the answer.

"This isn't actually a meeting," Oliver said.

"Yeah," Harry said, the horrified face still plastered on.

"I was talking to Harry and Fred and George decided he needed saving so they sat down and I couldn't continue talking and then Angelina and Alicia came and well," Oliver looked around, "Now you're here."

I looked confused. I just know it. You know how I know it? Because I am confused. I'm so confused it's not even funny.

"I need fire," was all that came out of my mouth. I walked over to the fireplace and just stared in it. I bet it made my hair look even redder.

Hey! You know what? It's almost my birthday? This Wednesday…. Wow. That's insane. It's almost here. How crazy is that? I think I'm going to be fifteen. Yeah, that's it. Wow, I'll be as old as Alicia, the Twins, and Lee! Darn you Angelina for being sixteen already.

The fire crackles really loud. I bet everyone thinks I'm sick.

Normally I just talk and talk and talk….

But now I just sit watching the fire.

Maybe it's an emotional breakthrough.

Maybe I'm dying…

Merlin, that would suck….

Maybe I'm depressed. You'd think red hair would make me, I don't know, hyper. I've always liked the color red.

What if it never goes away! I'll be stuck a redhead for the rest of my life! I'll be mistaken for Fred and George's little sister!

They'll think I'm Katie Weasley!

Gah! It's like a nightmare!

A horrifying nightmare! Good Lord, I don't want to be a Weasley. Well, maybe I do… their mum cooks great food. But I don't want to be mistaken for one. And then I'll have to change my last name because everyone will think that I'm part of them.

The only way I want to get into the family is by marriage. And there's no way I'm marrying Fred, George, Ron, Percy, or the others. Because that'd be just weird. Gah. Great, now I've got weird images of little blond children running around and people thinking 'How are they blond? They should have red hair like their parents!'

Merlin, I've got to stop thinking. This red thing is getting to my head. I think I am having an emotional breakthrough!

"Katie! Katie! Katie!"

Some shook my shoulders.

"Whoa, what?" I asked. It was Angelina. Her and the others (by others I meant the pirates) were standing around me. Half of them (and by half I meant Alicia and possibly Harry) looked worried and the other half looked like they were laughing and relieved.

"You zoned out," Alicia explained.

"Big time," George added.

"Gah, you guys don't want to know what I was thinking about," I said to them. If I told them they'd probably send me to a mental hospital or something. Or I'd get a permanent ward at St. Mungos. Then they'd have to come visit me. And I'd never get married or have kids because I'd be tied up forever. I'd never become whatever my dream job happens to me. And they'll buy me cats. Yeah, lots and lots of cats.

"KATIE!"

This time it was numerous people shouting my name.

"Stop doing that!" Alicia exclaimed. "You're scaring us!"

"Sorry. I was just thinking of your reaction… with the cats," I explained. Great, now they really are going to send me to a mental institute where they'll do studies on the delusional Katie. (A/n: Not Emerson's H/Hr delusion :p) Then they won't even give me cats because they'll find out I'm allergic. And there will be needles. I hate needles.

"Cats?" Angelina asked.

"Long story," I said. And it was. Especially with all those cats…. I should start naming them. I'll have to name Tinker and one Puffy because that's just the way I flow. And one will have to be Dog because I like dogs. Maybe I'll be a dog person instead. Fifty dogs should do it… but then I'd have to walk them. Merlin, that's going to be difficult. Maybe I'll just have fish. That's brilliant. All you have to do is feed them and change their water.

"Right," Alicia said slowly.

I think I'm starting to scare them. I'll think about my future cat lady thing some other time….

A/n: Well? How was it? The ending was kind of random but eh? What can I say? Well, I hope you liked it. I'm not sure what to think of it but I felt like updating and I needed some time to kill…

So drive safely everyone and never run with forks!

Oh and don't forget to review! (The 100th review gets a chapter dedicated to them! I figured that out this morning!)

Love

Snuffles