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Sticks and Stones

Jack never saw the one they called Miss often. Occasionally she would come into the bar, take out three bottles of rum. and returned the way she came. Some evenings, someone would call to her and she would sit for a while, drinking her rum and listen to the conversation.

"Miss!" James cried out one night catching her attention and waving her to come over. She smiled and continued her way to the cupboard.

"No way to win the lady, mate. Looks a little desperate," said Jack.

James answered back, "I'm not trying to win the lady, Cap'n. She hardly ever sits with us pirates." This was true, most of the time she sat with the navy sailors, or with the socialites. Sure enough, Jack and James watched as one of the King's Navy came up to her at the cupboard. She spoke something and motion over to Jack and James' table. The Man frowned and tried to pull her to follow him. She deftly escaped his grasp with a twirl and headed toward the seat acrossed from James and next to Jack. The table roared with a greeting to her and she smiled wide to all at the table. No one actually talked to her, but she listened to everyone's conversation as if she were a part of them. Jack watched her as she guzzled her rum and laughed at the appropriate times, a little to loudly as she was half way done with her second bottle.

"Is this all ye do," Jack asked. The sudden question made Miss jump in her chair, then laugh, thinking the question was silly.

"What do mean by that, Captain Jack Sparrow?"

"I mean what I say, love. Do you ever contribute to the conversation, or do you just find the company pleasurable?"

"The company, Captain. I find myself very lonely at times."

Jack smiled slyly, and placed his arm around her shoulder, "You know, I could try to aleveiate some of your loneliness." He moved his face closer to her's before it was stopped by a bottle she placed on his lips. It was her third rum she brought with her.

"Drink up, Captain Jack Sparrow. Drink up and we will pretend you didn't try to seduce me." Jack, a bit surprised at being denied, took the bottle and leaned back in his chair. She smiled at him, but quickly her smile disappated. Her head whipped into the direction of the door.

"Hey, do ye smell that," said James. Jack barely heard him, because he was watching Miss very intensely as she got up and walked swiftly to the door.

"James," some one said at the table, " if ye be smellin' smoked ham again, you best be off, none of us want to hear it."

The table laughed from what seemed like miles a way while Jack sat in his own world, almost forgetting the rum in his hand...but only almost.

The room had started to clear out when Timothy Sickleford came to sit next to Jack.

"Well, Jack, you sure did make Marie upset tonight," he said as he took a seat.

"Marie? Is that Miss's name," asked Jack.

Timothy laughed,"No, Marie is the hooker you've been having a great deal of fun with lately."

Jack sighed and took the final swig of his rum, "She no doubt will find another to play with her."

"What be with ye tonight, Jack?"

"I'm not a patient man, Sicklfreed, you old...' what he added was incomprehendable. Jack Sparrow was very inebrated.

"Jack, ye need to get to yer cabin. Come on," Timothy tried to pull him up, but with no luck.

"Tim, ye eunuch, they took all yer strenght when they did the snip snip, didn't they." Jack sucessfully stood up and stumbled to the door with Timothy following him. They climb a small set of stone steps to Jack's cabin cut out in the stone wall. He turned to Timothy. "I want to know what she knows."

"Go to bed you bloody Pirate."

"Sssstickss and..and stones...mate." Jack barely made it to his bed before he passed out.