Cearbhail:
Ok, so. This chapter is pretty good in my opinion. I would love to spoil it but I guess you'll just have to read instead. But I guess I can say this: this story is becoming so dark and twisted in this part of the story. I'm almost surprised by it. If Bloodstain makes some sort of appearance I would not be wholly surprised because it's getting pretty twisted. But i think it's a good add-on because of who Veselle is dealing with and what's really going on here.
Oh...and enjoy. ^^
Diary of Shadows,
It's still the 4th of Mid Year. Ildari, or mother, is not what I expected. In the one day I've started to know her, she's not only scared the crap out of me, but has also reassured me that she's only doing this so that we can live normal lives. There seems to be these two sides of her: the real her that existed before Neloth's experiment; and the twisted paranoid evil snake version of her that exists because of the experiment. The evil side wanted to cut out my heart and replace it with a heart stone, but my real mother interfered and instead created a necklace for me. It rests right below my throat and while it does sit somewhat underneath my skin it can be removed without any abnormal scarring or consequences. Mom hopes that it will lead to knowledge of how heart stones interact with our bodies. She hopes she can find a way get rid of the side-effects affecting both her and Gwen, her apprentice and Talvas's ex-girlfriend.
Speaking of Gwen…she also has two sides to her. She walks around like she's always smiling and happy. As if there was nothing wrong with her. And then there are moments where she'll stop moving and she'll just stare off in the distance like something's calling her. She'll start laughing crazily, grabbing her head like it's getting ready to split, and then she'll look over at me like I'm planning to kill her or something. I try to keep my distance and I try to keep on her safe side, but she's also my roommate. And if I wake up one night with a knife being stabbed in my chest…I wouldn't be surprised really.
At this very second, right before we can go to bed, Mother wants me to learn how to animate dead bodies. I'm not quite sure how I should feel about this. Necromancy may not be illegal in Morrowind and our culture specializes in the animation of dead bodies but still…it's dark magic. This entire course could taint my soul in ways that will take me down the path of Nrillia… Kyuu's previous owner. I need to go. Time to change into my new robes. Black is the new red, I guess.
Veselle…um…Tenvanni, I think.
….
I sighed as I placed my book down and looked around the empty room. The room was pretty small; nothing but a mirror and a bench for sitting. A small curtain that was closed behind me was the only thing separating me from Ildari and Gwen. I sighed as I looked at the folded robes waiting for me on the bench. I already knew what they looked like. Gwen wears the same pair. It's just a gray/black version of what I was already wearing. Black hakama pants, dark gray undershirt tunic with mage sleeves interlaced with glowing red Daedric runes, and then the black sleeveless overtunic with the blood red Daedric runes outlining. And of course the cloth belt that I used to keep the two tunics on me without falling off too easily. Knots can come undone by accident. Not these belts. They can only come off with Alteration magicka. It took me a while to take my old robes off. Not because they were hard to get off, but because these robes meant something to me now. They were a symbol of who I was. I was Veselle Tenvanni, apprentice to Neloth…my father. I was part of a team, a family. And these robes were the only thing that kept me tied to them. And now I was switching them out for the dark mage robes.
Once I finally got the robes to fall off me, I stood there for a second to catch my breath. Flames started steaming off my hands and shoulders and I had to calm myself down before I lit the room on fire. I hated this. I know I did this to protect my friends, and to learn about my mother, my past, but that didn't change just how much this sucked. My life was hanging on a balance now. But I had to do this. For Mom and Dad. I held my breath as I grabbed my undertunic, throwing it on. The long sleeves went down to my hands, and I struggled to keep them up while I tucked the right side of my tunic underneath the left side. I tied both of the sides off so that they held a nice V pattern over my neckline. Once that was done, I picked up my hakama, making sure I had the right side as the front: the side with the longest strings, also the side without the giant cardboard block in it. I tied the strings on the front first, looping the two long strings around my waist once before tying them in a bow behind my lower back.
Once that was done, I was free to set the back of my hakama with the little holder and then tied it off in the front. I tucked the strings away and then went to my overtunic. It pretty much worked like the undertunic. I threw it on and then matched it up with the line I had already formed with my other tunic. I tied it off just like the other set. I felt so robotic while doing this. I loved putting my robes on when they were the ones I wore for morning training in Tel Mithryn. These robes seemed colder, tainted with the expectation of necromancy.
"What's taking so long?" Gwen asked as she poked her head through the curtains. She saw me as I finished making a loop for my overtunic. "Oh. Almost done? Ok." She pulled her head back away from the curtain, leaving me to finish up. "You look cute, by the way." She called from behind the curtain.
I sighed as I looked down at the sash that I used for my belt. I threw it on around my two tunics and sucked in a deep breath as I wrapped the belt around me, pulling as tightly as I could. I made a loop and the belt suddenly snapped together, not even showing a sign that there was a loop at all. To undo it all I had to do was will it to break apart and the loop would loosen and the two ends would separate. These belts were pretty awesome; I liked them. Too bad this belt was jet black, just like my pants and robes. The only gray thing I had was my undertunic. I guess I had to get used to looking like an evil sorceress. That's just my life now.
I took a few minutes to fold up my old robes and place them on the bench where my new robes sat a minute go. I turned around and faced the curtain. I pulled it across, opening myself to the training room beyond this small changing room. When I moved the curtain across, Ildari was waiting for me. She stood maybe and inch away from where I was, looking down at me with glaring eyes.
"Where are your old robes?" She questioned me as she pushed past me into the small room.
"They're right…" I started to say but was cut short as Ildari spotted them. She snapped out her right finger and my robes suddenly exploded into dust. I felt tears growing in my eyes and I was forced to snap them shut and turn around. She destroyed my robes. My robes! And there wasn't anything left of it. I couldn't just call Kyuu and have him fix them this time. I know I shouldn't have said anything to her, but my mouth didn't know better half the time. "Why did you do that?" My voice trembled in my throat. My throat felt like it was ready to close off on my, making my voice seem small and weak.
Ildari turned to face me. "They were a relic of your past. You are with me now. And those robes are my gift for you. Now come. It's time you learn how to reanimate bodies." She grabbed my arm and started pulling me to follow her. I still felt tears running down my face as we walked past Gwen. She smirked when she saw me crying. She skipped as she followed beside me, almost laughing at my face.
"I like your new robes, Vessy. They look so much cuter on you than those old ugly red ones did." She said to me as she skipped beside me. She reached down at her own robes, smiling. "Now we match, just like sisters should." She wrapped an arm around me in a hug, pulling me closer to her. When that semi-moment finished she went back to skipping beside me while Ildari dragged me up to a room with two stone slabs. Bones sat in piles on the ground, as well as a couple dead ash hoppers, a couple dead wolves, and a couple dead reavers.
Ildari continued to drag me into the room. She slid us up to the collection of bones. I could see a pile of skulls, a couple piles of partial and full ribcages with spines, arms, legs, and sometimes tails. "We will start with the basic lesson of bringing life to the skeletons. Are you familiar with how it is done?" Ildari asked as she let go of my arm. She turned to face me, her bright glowing red eyes flashing angrily out at me as she gestured to the collection of bones.
I shook my head as I took a step back. My wrist kind of hurt from where she had clamped down on me so I rubbed it as I tried to find a way to answer her. "No. I umm…I know how Conjuration works, but…I don't understand how to use necromancy."
"Necromancy is Conjuration." Ildari responded. "This entire time you've been calling souls to the world through portals. The portals exist because you bring energy and willpower together to call out your comrades. They use this energy to create their physical bodies. Well, necromancy is a little different. Instead of the portal, we use a body, a host. Instead of making a bond with a creature of free will, we instead dominate lost souls from the Soul Cairn and use them in a conduit. Skeletons mostly. Working with deceased bodies are harder. A soul already existed within that body and it cannot be called back. And since the soul has already moved on, there is nothing we can do but create a temporary soul to take its place. We call these shades. Much like the books of shadows you've read. They're part of necromancy, although Neloth would never tell you that."
I looked down at the book sitting in my pouch. I had no idea I was already doing necromancy by writing that journal I had. "Really? A book of shadows is a necromancy art?"
She nodded. "The very first to write one was Mannimarco." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a black book. She flipped it open, reading some of the pages. "It's filled with a lot of knowledge about what he learned. But his soul is not the only one recorded into this book. This book was a copy written by a shadowwraith 200 years ago. They needed his knowledge, his black arts, to save Tamriel from the Aedra invading. I find it hysterical that they used an evil art over and over again to save the world from the righteous and holy." She closed the book, shoving it in her pocket. She glided up to me and grabbed my arm. She pulled me closer to the pile of bones. "You see, daughter. You think it to be evil, but magic is magic. And you're wasting your potential on just one side of it." She slithered closer to me. A skull levitated off the ground, slowly flying up to her hand. She folded her fingers on the skull, chuckling as she looked down at me. "There will be a day when your allies will fail you. Your little bonded friends will either abandon you, or will die in battle. Either way they'll be unable to serve you. And then you'll have to find other ways to survive. And what if there is a dead body sitting next to you? What if there is a pile of bones? A dead dog? An insect? Something that can save your life? Will you neglect to use it even knowing that it will save your life? Your boyfriend's? A family's? Is it really evil to use something to help someone?"
I shook my head. She had a good point. It didn't matter how you got the job done as long as it got done. There was a minute where both Kyuu and Anari failed to help me fight the draugr in Raven Rock. If I had been able to reanimate one of the dead draugr behind us and send him in, maybe I could have made a better influence in that fight. She was right. I should know how to do this. So, I took a deep breath and turned to face her. "Ok, I'm ready. How do I do this?"
She gestured down to the piles of bones. "Select your construct. You may pick whatever parts you think you need."
I released a quick breath as I bent down to inspect the bones. There was an entire pile of just skulls. There were some skulls with some sort of meat or tissue on them. I could see gnats flying around those skulls, eating what remained on them. I tried to ignore those skulls. But I couldn't quite escape the stench. This room smelled like carrion. It was a smell I got used to in Riften. You'd smell things like this coming up from the sewers and the lake once in a while. I was told never to go down below into the Ratway. Bad things lived down there. Things like cannibals and zombies. The fumes from the Ratway smelled just like this.
I had to jerk my head away and hold my breath as I reached down to grab the cleanest skull there was. Once I felt the hard bone in my hand, I pulled the skull out of the pile and placed it next to me. I pretty much did the same for the other remaining piles of bones. I grabbed the cleanest and fullest ribcage with a full spine attached. Then two arms and two legs. One leg nearly fell apart when I grabbed it though. It was disgusting that most of these bodes were held together by whatever remained of the muscular system. Once I had my bones picked, I had to lay them out like a body would have looked like. Once I was done with that, I looked back up at Ildari for more instruction.
"For an inanimate construct like this one, you will need to use a simple necromancy animation spell. This spell is nothing but a combination of Conjuration summoning and Alteration manifestation. The Alteration is your Conjuration magicka transforming into a temporary soul that is connected to you. The reanimated body will take on a personality linked to your own and will think how you think. It will attack what you want it to attack. Sometimes they will speak, sometimes they will not." Ildari explained as she walked up to the body.
I nodded and took a deep breath. I started forming a Conjuration bubble in my hand. I guess I had to figure this out myself, just like everything else. Everything was about intention. That's what it's been since the start of my training, so why would this be any different? So, I just collect a ball of magicka and will it to animate an inanimate thing? Ok. So, I started willing energy to my palm, visualizing it turning into a semi-soul that would bring life to the skeleton in front of me. When I felt the small pop of energy in my palm, I let it fly out of my wrist. The ball of dark black energy flew off my hand, slamming into the ribcage of the skeleton. I sat and waited for something to happen.
There was a small black flash from inside the ribcage. Sitting where the heart should have been was a black orb, the one I had shot at it. Tentacles of black magic started flowing from the orb of black magic. The tentacles wrapped around the spinal cord, holding it together, while flowing down to the hip bone and down to the legs. More tentacles wrapped up around the shoulder and down the arms and hands. The tentacles seemed to be forming a muscular structure. The rest of the tentacles went up the neck, securing the head. I could see the eyes darken as the black magic rested inside the empty skull. The now formed black energy-incased skeleton started to levitate off its back, slowly lifting up onto its feet without properly moving. The energy started to fade a bit, becoming more liquid and see-through. I could still see my reflection in the energy. It was a combination of a see-through liquid and a metallic shine that reflected light. It was beautiful. The skeleton itself looked fierce and angry.
"What…" It started to groan, using my energy to form a liquid voice that sent shivers down my spine. "What…am…I?" It brought up its hand and looked at it. It bent its bony fingers, taking a step back before opening its mouth and letting out a bloodcurdling scream. I had to cover my eyes as my construct screamed. It sounded like I had taken two pieces of silver and grinded them together until they both were forced to break. It looked down at me and I could feel its eyes bearing into me. "You…did…this…to…me?" It called down to me.
"I thought you weren't alive." I said back up to it. The way it moved and looked down at me, I knew I had been dead wrong. I had somehow shoved a living soul into this bony body. I couldn't believe I could do something so morally wrong.
"Relax, daughter." Ildari said. "You just willed it to have a personality of its own. A minor mistake. But that's good enough for tonight. We'll consider this a successful attempt at making a working construct. Well…perhaps a test first." She looked at Gwen. "Gwen. Kill Veselle."
What? I looked from my skeleton to Ildari. But that wasn't long before I had to look at Gwen. She only shrugged as she reached her hand out. A blood red portal ripped open and the sickest looking blade I've ever seen materialized in her hand. It looked Daedric in design: blood red and black. Just like everything in this house so far. Gwen smiled at me, a twisted smile forming at the last second. "I'm sorry, Vessy. I warned you that I might have to kill you." She didn't sound remorseful about it though. She seemed very pleased to run up to me and slash with her new sword.
I did what I could to jump out of the way but I suddenly felt my body freeze in its spot. I tried to move, but my body refused. I could only say what it was but I felt the tingle of Ildari's magic on me, like earlier. She was holding me down with her Telekinesis spell. She had to be. And because of it, I could only watch as Gwen slashed down at me. I tried to close my eyes in horror of seeing myself die, but I didn't have to. Right as her sword came down a bony hand reached out and snatched her blade.
"You can't harm my Master." The skeleton said. "She made me…I will protect her." It said as it tossed the blade's edge away from me. The skeleton walked up in front of me and brought up its arms in what I would have used as a fighting stance. As it started to settle into a fighting stance, I realized that it was acting just like how I would have acted if I was fighting. I tried my best to will my instructions to it. Be light on your feet, watch the tip of the blade. The skeleton started hopping on its feet, relaxing its arms at it prepared to fight Gwen. Whoa. It was actually listening to me. I looked up at Ildari. She looked more or less indifferent to my fighting skeleton. This had to have been a test. And they were just as deadly as Neloth's. Who would have guessed?
Gwen smiled sickly as she stepped back, bringing her blade back up to her center. She laughed as she charged for the skeleton. I tried to visualize myself standing in the skeleton's place. It didn't work and all it got me was a headache in return. "Trust your construct, daughter." Ildari said from beside me.
As Gwen lunged for the throat, my skeleton stepped off to the side, but closer to me to keep Gwen from coming at me. Skeleton reached out, grabbing Gwen's hands and trapping them in its grasp. It quickly brought its knee up to Gwen's stomach and smashed her a couple times before letting her fall down. Gwen cast a glance at me before letting her own body get surrounded by black flames. She stood up and let the flames roll off her body as a wave over to my skeleton.
Skeleton did the smart thing and took a knee, bringing up its arms to protect itself. The black magicka within it formed a protective shield over the arms and I watched as the black fire washed over the shield. My skeleton held its ground long enough that it didn't break apart. Once the fire ended, my skeleton barely had enough time to stand up before Gwen charged up to it. With a slash, she tore through the left arm. My skeleton screamed in horror as it stepped back. Gwen took another slash, cutting off a leg. The skeleton fell to the ground, still screaming in the same pain I heard from it when I summoned it.
Gwen turned to look at me. Black flames were still steaming off her body. She had the sickest glance of pure hatred for me. Her hair was tousled and she had a cut on her lip, not to mention the beginnings of a black eye on her left side. She growled as she turned to look at me. "You hurt me, Vessy. I will gladly kill you now." She walked over to me, bringing her sword to my throat. She paused to look at Ildari. "Should I kill her?"
Ildari nodded. "She could not beat you. She is of no consequence to me."
Gwen's sick smile returned as she turned to look down at me. "Goodbye, Vessy."
That's when I heard my skeleton roar as it jumped to its feet. It was enough to get Gwen to snap her head around. My skeleton was balancing on one foot, snaking its hand out like it could somehow stop Gwen from ten feet away. "You will not hurt her." It said. "She gave me life; I will give it back in return." The black orb in its chest started to glow brightly. Black fire just like Gwen's started to surround the skeleton's body. The ball of magicka kept growing and growing until it was a swirling mess of pure black energy. It was powerful enough to feel like it was pulling us in, while pushing out enough energy to blow us back. And it really bothered Gwen as she stood there covering her eyes. With one final look to me, the Skeleton's black face formed something of a smile. "I always loved you…" It said as it launched the aura of black energy straight at Gwen.
I watched as Gwen had no time to properly form any defenses against the coming storm of black magicka. She tried to bring her sword up, tried to form a ward, but it didn't matter. In the end, she just screamed in bloody murder as she was thrown off the ground and into the wall on the other side of the room. I heard a sickening thwack as she crashed into the wall, sliding down into a broken pile of bones. As soon as she hit the wall, I was suddenly able to move again. My first instinct was to go help Gwen, but I looked over to my skeleton. It wasn't there anymore. It was just a pile of bones.
"Your skeleton sacrificed itself to save you. That's an impressive character to develop. Since it was based off your morals though, it seems appropriate that it would give its life to save you." Ildari said as she looked from my skeleton back to me. She had that twinkle in her eyes again. She was back to normal. She bent down to pick me up. "You should go to bed before I make you do something else."
I nodded to her and then looked over at Gwen. "What about her?"
"She's dead." Ildari said. That caused my heart to stop. I killed Gwen? But…no. I didn't want that! Ildari saw the look on my face and held up her hand. "She's been dead the whole time." She walked past me and up to her body. "She was killed by reavers. I brought her back." She made an orb and launched it into Gwen's body. Gwen took a sharp breath as her body started fidgeting like she was expecting to be falling. She looked around frantically before looking at me.
Gwen cracked open that sweet smile of hers and laughed. "You got me good, Vessy. Think I can kill you next time?"
"Veselle does not have a heart stone. She can't die like you and I can." Ildari said sweetly to her.
"She can't?" Gwen muttered. "So, if I kill her?..."
"She can't come back." Ildari finished.
"Oh…glad I know that now." She laughed as she stood up. She looked over at me, smiling as she rubbed the back of her blood-splattered head. "Sorry about that. If I had known you would actually stay dead, I wouldn't have actually tried to kill you."
What? What the heck is going on in this house? I looked from her over to Ildari. They both looked at me like they pitied me. "What the heck is going on? How can she still be alive if she's dead?"
Ildari chuckled as she walked up to me. "The heart stone replaces the heart. As long as it gets hit with Restoration magic, it can heal any wound, and restore any soul. It's one of the good things about heart stones. But it also heightens the call of the dead…the paranoia, the sickening words calling to us. Every time we die…we get closer to becoming monsters."
I looked at Gwen to see that sick look in her eyes becoming slightly more twisted. "Yeah…" She said dreamily. "I really don't want to kill you, but the image of your bloody corpse underneath mine is almost too good to pass up." She shook her head, trying to force the image away. "But you are my sister…and I will try my best to not kill you." Then she shrugged. "Unless I'm ordered to by Master Ildari."
I took one final look between the two twisted souls. "Can I go back home now?"
Ildari shook her head. "You go back to Neloth and my other side will unleash full war down on him, on you, on the children you stole from her. You have to stay here…and survive. That's all you need to do. Survive. At least until I can find out if there is a way to counteract these side-effects." Ildari looked down at Gwen. "I saved Gwen from dying. She was attacked by reavers. One of their arrows pierced her heart. She was dying and I saved her life by replacing it with a heart stone just like mine. I was pretty lucid when I did it and I guess my more twisted side keeps her around as a toy or something." She looked back up at me. "And you need to survive, so that we can be free again. If we can find out what happens to the heart stones and how they react to you without being fused…we may find out how to get our lives back."
I nodded. I looked from Gwen over to Ildari. They looked so worried about what would happen to them that I found myself nodding. "Yeah, I'll stay for as long as I need to. So that you can go back to living again."
Ildari smiled and gestured for me to follow her. "Then we should prepare you for bed. Would you like a bath before sleeping or would you prefer to go to bed right now?"
I looked around the filthy room filled with gnats and rotting meat. "Bath please."
Cearbhail:
Did everyone enjoy that? Gwen dying? And then coming back to life? And yeah, each time she dies, that darkness sets more and more into her. She started off as a smily happy girl like she displays around veselle, and with each death turns a little more and more into that pink-haired girl from Mirai Nikki: Yuno Gasai. Ildari will have to deal with her own trials too, and soon Veselle will have her own dealings with darkness. Things are getting good, but how will they last? Oh, and Veselle is totally getting more new spirits soon. Yup.
