Cearbhail:

I have the biggest migraine ever. It started maybe three hours ago and is just getting worse. Blurg... oh well. I was able to get this much out of my head. Sorry if it seems short, but this chapter was pretty short to start with. And now, i really need something to stop this pounding in the back of my head. Maybe sleep it off or something. I don't know. Ok, now... something you need to know for the story. Eh, why ruin it?

Oh...and enjoy. ^^


Diary of shadows,

8th Mid Year. I've been here for a couple days now and I've developed a certain…routine. When I wake up, I check my chest to make sure there isn't a new heart stone implanted in me. The twisted Ildari still taunts me with implanting me with a proper heart stone if I ill-behave. And I have to tiptoe around Gwen when her pupils dilate. And when both of them go crazy at the same time, I have to pretty much run for my life and wait it out. But, you know, other than all that, it's pretty standard. I've convinced the Twisted Ildari to let me summon my friends: Kyuu and Anari. It would help me continue practicing Conjuration and it would also let me have some real company to keep me from getting depressed in this place. To be honest…it's been about six days since I've even talked to Kyuu…I'm a little worried what he'll think when he sees me in dark robes.

So, the past four days have been me learning how to properly use necromancy on skeletons and dead animals. Since animals have a less-evolved soul, it's easy to replace them. The only problem is that when I do replace them, I encounter the same problem one would when you wake a raving wolf…it attacks you. I've had to rekill every constructed animal over and over again. Twisted Ildari wouldn't let me stop until I had full obedience of the animals. I finally was able to get a wolf to calmly resurrect by writing a formula into my summoning orb. Oh yeah, I've been learning about mental formulas. They're basically how to form your will upon your casting orb. You know…like all the stuff you want you creature to do for you. It's basically like a contract. But anyway, I had to write an actual obedience clause in my formula when I resurrected the animals. It was difficult to mentally prepare, but it worked. And it got to the point where it was second nature. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

There have also been these dreams. Dreams of Red Mountain. Angry souls that called themselves the Deep Ones were reaching out through the burning magma, crying out to me to reach in and take their hands. I could hear their cries in my head, like a hammer slamming down on a nail. When the dream faded, I would have this splitting headache. That and the room would be spinning around me. I would find the area around my semi-implanted heart stone irritated and swollen a little. It would burn like oblivion. I think there may be a connection. I was beginning to wonder if Ildari and Gwen started like this. How long before I go?

Veselle Tenvanni.

I hopped out of my bed once I finished my diary entry. I had been awake for a couple hours already. Once you have a nightmare like that, you don't fall back asleep readily. I wanted to summon Kyuu just so that I could hold him close to me, but I didn't because I was still scared to have him see me wearing black and gray robes, sitting in a castle filled with dead bodies and ash spawn walking around like armed guards. But…I don't think I could handle all this on my own. I've been here five days now, and I was going to go crazy if I was left alone like this. I had to do something to keep myself sane.

I started forming the familiar orb of Conjuration in my hand and connected it to Anari. It had been a while since I'd even seen Anari, so visualizing her was hard. She was a Seeker; a spirit from Hermeaus Mora's world. She had a head that looked like a gray octopus with tentacles covering her beaky mouth. She had a round cylinder body covered with a wispy gray cloak. And she had long arms that were slender and ghastly. I visualized her in my head and called her into the orb. As soon as I released the orb onto the ground, it ripped open to a portal. Anari came floating gently through the hole like there was no rush. As soon as the portal collapsed, Anari looked around for a second before setting her beady eyes down on me. "Finally, a place one can read." She whispered softly before summoning a book to her hand. She floated over to a corner of the room and started purring/moaning as she read it.

"Good morning." I said to Anari. When I didn't get a reply, I started growling to myself. I marched up to her, grabbing her book, and pulled it down enough that I could see into Anari's eyes. "I said good morning."

"Good morning, Mistress." Anari replied dryly. "Can I finish this chapter before we begin the normal roundabout of chatting?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes, but I let go of her book. She went back to reading it and I slugged my way back to my bed, where I fell right back into it. I don't know how long I lied there before I looked up at Anari. "Are you done yet?"

"Have I closed the book?" She announced just as dryly as before. "If you insist on chatting, why not summon your little demon fox?" She glanced at me for a few seconds before looking back at her book.

So, this was her plan then. She wasn't going to put her book down. She knew I was trying to avoid summoning him if I didn't have to. But, she wasn't going to talk to me until I did so. Anari was smart, and she was able to find out my reasons for my actions. I guess both of my summon spirits are kinda like that. Kyuu is able to read my mind, most of the time. He tries to act like he can't, but I can tell sometimes. If I think something, he'll usually comment on whatever it is I'm thinking in a casual way that could be accidental. Or maybe he's just really good at reading me.

I sighed as I started forming a ball of Conjuration in my hand. "Ok, fine." I said to Anari. I launched the ball of magicka into the air above me. The portal ripped open above me and I held my arms out like I was waiting to receive a hug. And to be honest, I was. Whenever I summoned Kyuu, he always jumped into my arms. If I summoned him like this, it might reassure him that I'm still me. That I'm not Nrillia. The portal hovered there for a second before Kyuu hopped out, not even landing in my arms. He fell straight to the floor, landing gracefully but cautiously. He looked just as cute as ever. He was a fox, about the size of a large cat. He had even larger ears that folded down and nine tails that were bushy and just as long as his body. He was covered in snow white fur with glowing blue magicka runes throughout his fur. His bright blue eyes matched his blue tribal markings. And his eyes were glaring right at me.

I waved to Kyuu. "Hi, Kyuu. Want a hug?"

He narrowed his eyes before whispering, "Now!" He changed form, growing into a large dog almost as tall as me. He charged right into me and I barely had time to react. I started to take a step back, bringing my hands up to protect me, but I felt someone with cold hands grip my wrists, pulling them back behind me until I was off-balance. Kyuu jumped up and slammed me with his paws, knocking me down. It was then that I noticed that Anari was lifting me up onto her back. I wanted to scream for help, but Kyuu was already jumping onto my chest, shrinking down into his cute form. He shoved one of his tails into my mouth. "Shut up, Veselle." He whispered to me. He turned to look at Anari. "Get us out of here."

"I studied the layout." Anari announced to Kyuu before floating us out of the room. "I believe the exit is this way."

I looked at Kyuu. He was avoiding looking at me directly, but instead was glancing around the hallway for any intruders. I wanted to ask him what this was all about, but with one of his tails shoved nearly down my throat, I didn't get the chance to ask. So, I thought about thinking it. Kyuu, what is going on?

He didn't look down at me at all, not even a glance. Maybe he couldn't read my mind after all. That hurt me a little, and I didn't know why. Maybe it was because I could think that he was always with me or something. I don't know. It would also mean I wouldn't get any privacy from him either. Not like I did when he was here with me anyway. Heck, he even bathed with me. "We have company ahead."

"Of course we do." Kyuu said with certainty. "Ash spawn surround the whole area. We need to at least get her outside the disruption circle. After that, we can send the signal." Signal, what signal? What was going on?

"Release Mistress Veselle." I heard a voice echo in my head. I knew that voice. It was the voice of Vol, my mother's ash spawn. "If you do not, you will be killed."

"Any idea what it's saying?" Kyuu looked at Anari.

"I have an understanding of every Daedric language. This is the language of Peryite. I do not understand…is Peryite involved with the ash spawn?" Anari sounded more amused than worried. I wanted to ask her what she meant, but once again, this tail in my mouth was keeping me from speaking. I thought of biting it, I even tried, but it didn't get me anywhere.

Kyuu growled as he looked ahead of me. "Peryite? What's he thinking? Is this some disease he's trying to spread?"

"I have yet to conclude that. But we shouldn't stay to find out. Let's get Veselle out of her first, figure out what's going on later."

"You will die before she can exit this place." Vol replied harshly enough that I could tell he was screaming at them.

"Kyuu… keep Veselle from running." Anari replied as she suddenly let go of my arms. I suddenly fell straight to the floor, hitting pretty hard too. I was about to jump up and run for it, but Kyuu was still sitting on my chest. His ears flicked up, his eyes growing white. A giant white circle sprung up around us. I looked around for a second before looking back at Kyuu, who still had a tail shoved in my mouth.

Kyuu still refused to look down at me. "Just be a good girl and lie there, Veselle. Better yet, keep your mouth shut and follow us and I won't have to keep my tail in your mouth. Ok?"

I found myself nodding and Kyuu slipped his tail out of my mouth. I started coughing for a second before looking up at him. "What's going on?" I whispered to him.

He hopped off my chest and out of the circle. "I have to fight now." I stood up to follow him out of the circle, but as I got close I felt like I had walked right into a wall. I had to rub my nose as I stepped back. I reached up and tapped the circle. It shimmered white for a second before returning to normal. I rolled my eyes as I realized that Kyuu had just trapped me inside a circle.

"Really?" I asked him. "You really think you can keep me here?"

He didn't reply to me, but instead transformed into a giant fox/dog. I watched as he paced up to Vol with Anari by his side. The two of them looked at each other before Kyuu jumped forward, surrounding his body in blue flames. He roared out a fire breath strong enough to come from a dragon's mouth. Vol stuck out his sword, pressing it against the stream of fire. I know enough about ash creatures to know that fire doesn't really work on them. I've seen what Talvas can do with Frost and that could take most ash spawn down in seconds, but not fire. I had to really press the fire down in order to do anything with it against these creatures in the past. Kyuu wouldn't get anywhere with an armed guard. And as I expected, Vol was pushing his way through the wave of fire right up to where Kyuu was. He snatched his hand out just in time for Kyuu to jump back and summon a Warding wall. The wall had appeared right in the middle of Vol's arm. I watched as it returned to being just ash and fell straight to the floor.

Vol took a step back before shouting, "Intruders! Everyone move to attack. They're abducting Mistress Veselle."

"Kyuu, he's requesting backup." I said to Kyuu, but he didn't even acknowledge what I said. What was up with him? Why was he ignoring me? Was he mad that I was in this place, that I had learned how to do necromancy? Maybe he thought that I was turning into Nrillia, his previous master who turned into one of the most hated necromages in all of Tamriel.

Instead of turning to look at me, Kyuu jumped forward, slashing with his claws at Vol. Vol hadn't had time to recover from losing his arm, and because of that Kyuu ripped right through him. A heart stone rested inside Kyuu's mouth. Kyuu bit down hard on the heart stone and it shattered with a large crunch. I felt something inside me snap a bit, like I had felt something a part of me explode or something. I fell to my knees, and that drew a reaction from Anari. "Kyuu, that caused her physical pain."

"Did it?" He nearly growled out. "We have to show mercy?"

Anari looked back at me. "What if she dies because of our actions?"

Kyuu growled again. "Fine, we'll only disable the following spawn."

"What spawn?" I heard Gwen call from behind me. I snapped my head around to see her standing there, a sick twisted smile on her face. She looked down at me and then back up at my summoned allies. "That hurt." She said to them. "And if someone hurts me…I kill them." Black fire grew all around her as she started walking up to Kyuu and Anari.

I looked over at Gwen and pleaded with her. "Gwen, don't hurt them. I'll dismiss them once I get the chance."

She looked over at me and smirked. "What? Vessy, you will have to speak up. I can't hear you." What? How was that possible? I was able to hear her just fine, and yet she couldn't hear me?

I watched from behind my little protection circle as Gwen cracked her neck and slowly walk up to Kyuu and Anari. "Who wants to die first?" She asked simply as she warmed up to portals in her hands. She tossed them up into the air, both portals ripping open over top of her. Two Daedric katanas well from the portals, which she snatched mid-air while spinning into a crouching stance.

"How are we going to do this?" Anari asked.

Kyuu growled as his massive form started to change back into his cute form. "I don't know, but I do know I can't stay big for too much longer. Let's just kill her and be done with it."

"Kyuu, run!" I screamed to him. "You too, Anari! Get out of here; I'm fine!" I screamed and banged on the circle, trying to get someone's attention. No one seemed even the slightest bit annoyed with my screams though. And I started trying to think up a way to get out of the circle before anyone died. I wanted to warm up some flames to burn down this circle, but I could feel that it was enchanted to actually fuel the circle's strength with the use of my flames. Clever Kyuu. He knew my weaknesses. And I could barely use Frost yet. Once again, I had the knowledge, but not the practice. I still needed the cold indifference to get it right. The cold indifference that could only be achieved by witnessing extreme emotional harm. You'd think seeing my dad die would have done it…you'd think that I'd be damaged enough to be as cold as the coldest winter in Skyrim. Why wasn't I? What did I still have? Why was Talvas so good at Frost and I so good at fire? What was wrong with me?

"I will take her attacks, you support me from behind." Kyuu said to Anari as he sprinted up to Gwen. Gwen smiled maniacally as she vanished into a blur. Kyuu didn't even have a second before I saw his body shimmer like golden light. There was this distortion around his body, like a personal warding bubble around him. That's when I noticed that he was unharmed. He had managed to create a ward strong enough that he could survive more than one slash. It amazed me just how strong Kyuu had become since I met him two months ago. Me too, I guess. I wasn't as weak as I was before I came to this island.

Kyuu landed on the ground, turning to face Gwen, who had reappeared on the other side of the room. She was right in front of Anari. "Anari, run!" I cried to her. When Gwen slashed with her swords, Anari chuckled in a deep moan as the swords passed right through her. Gwen looked confused before her body was consumed in green lightning waves pulsing from Anari's hands. Gwen was actually pushed from her feet onto the floor where Anari blasted her with pulse after pulse of lightning from her hands.

"This has gone on long enough." I heard my mother say from the other room. I glanced out to the dining room to see her standing on the second floor, looking down at us. She started walking down the staircase, never taking her eyes off me. "Apprentice Veselle, it is time for breakfast. If you don't call off your spirits, I'm afraid I will have to banish them from my premises."

Kyuu looked up at my mother, growling. "We're taking Veselle back home with us. And you won't stop us."

My mother looked slightly amused by the whole situation. She didn't look crazy, so I was guessing she was in control of herself. Hopefully that meant she wouldn't kill any of my friends for this. "I am sorry, but I still need her for my experiment. When she is done, she will be allowed to leave."

"If you keep this up, she'll end up as crazy as you." Anari announced.

My mother nodded. "She very well may, but once I find out how to reverse the affects, she will become as sane as she was before the experiment began." She vanished into a black mist and reappeared in front of Anari. "And I cannot let you report back to Neloth with our location either." She pulled out a bottle, holding it underneath Anari. With a whispered word, Anari was suddenly sucked into the bottle, which was snapped shut. She turned to face Kyuu. "And for you, I have something else in mind." She held out a dog collar and leash.

"I'll die before you put that on me." Kyuu called out, taking his bigger form once again.

"So sad." She said as Kyuu jumped out at her. With a snap of her fingers, Kyuu exploded into blood and fur. It rained across the room for a second before it all stopped. Mother turned to look down at me. The circle that had surrounded me was suddenly falling down. I was finally free. Mom walked up to me and grabbed my wrist. "Ok, so we have breakfast in a few minutes. Then I need to do a test on your heart stone, and then we need to get you some new spirits. Your old ones just betrayed you."

Did they betray me? I wasn't sure. I didn't tell them to get me out of the castle, and in fact I tried to get them against their plan. I wished we could have resolved this differently, but in the end Mother and Gwen were half-crazy and willing to kill anyone they needed to in order to keep me here. I found myself nodding to Mother, saying, "Sounds good. What kind of spirit?"

"An Ash Guardian of course." She said with a hint of amusement in her voice. Huh, I didn't expect that. That was a powerful spirit, I knew that much. Kyuu and I fought one when we first made contracts together. It didn't end well for either of us at the time. if it hadn't been for Master Neloth, I would have died back then. I wonder if having a spirit like that would come in handy, or if I was somehow just making my life worse than it already was.


Cearbhail:

Ok, so Veselle is getting her weekly examination and a new spirit. Hate to say this so soon, but this arc is already coming to a close soon. Her time with Ildari and Gwen is coming up on a close soon. And by the end of the arc...Veselle will unlock her Frost abilities. Which can only be unlocked by deep emotional pain, so bad that it kills you inside. I wonder what will happen? =^^= I don't know yet. I still haven't decided.