Cearbhail:
You know, there have been times where I write stuff and I go... man... that escalated quickly. And sometimes, I say 'Wow... that was intense.' And today... I shook my head and said, "Why? Why did I write this?" Not in a bad way, just... of all the things I could focus my chapter on, I focus on this? Man... you'll see. It's intense, and in the most non-intense way.
Oh...and enjoy. ^^
Dear dairy of shadows,
Today is the 16th of Sun's Dusk. We're still hanging around Raven Rock in the old Severin Manor. So, things that have happened in the past 24 hours. I started my physical therapy. My muscles are pretty tight, and it hurts to do anything above walking. Shooting magicka is out of the picture for right now. I tried to make a simple fireball and it felt like my whole arm exploded into fire. I talked to Mom about it. She told me that I had exhausted my aura, or something like that. She called it a 'burnout'. It's when my body's incapable of using any more of my mana to produce magicka. I don't fully understand, but she says I will recover in a week's time if I take it easy. Anything magical I try to do will only make my condition worse, and above that, I could end up killing myself if I try too hard.
Ruby overheard us and she decided to help my burnout by healing my aura with crystals. I don't know how I feel about that. She calls herself a healer, but what I read about her did not mention her ever healing anyone on the quest to kill Alduin. She mostly just made new stuff to help with the fights, and had some sort of wavering relationship with that Argonian boy Maleek. I'm glad he didn't come to this island. I know Talvas pretty well… and I know that Shadow Agents from Black Marsh killed his family… as well as most of mine. All of House Telvanni fell to the Shadow Agents from Black Marsh. I was pretty young when it happened; if I ever saw it myself, I don't know. All I know is that if Maleek walked into our tower, he would probably be met with a lot of hostility. I have no problem with him, but Talvas. Him… I don't know how he'll feel about Maleek walking in here. I'd like to meet him, myself.
So… I have some physical therapy to get to. And then I don't really know. I don't know when Dad is coming back, or if he is at all. Gods… what will I do if Dad doesn't return? I guess Mom will just have to take care of our family. Wouldn't be the first time.
Veselle Tenvanni.
…
I sighed as I pushed myself out of bed. Since Ruby moved in with us for the time being, she moved into the same room I was sleeping in. She purred in her sleep. And it was so soft and rhythmic that it kept me sleep all night. Best sleep I've had in years. When I woke up, Ruby was already out of the room. The room was pretty dark, but that meant nothing. There were no windows since the whole floor was underground. And that meant that even if the sun was up, I wouldn't be able to see the rays of light poking through anything. I groaned as I tried to sit up. My body throbbed with pain, unlike it did yesterday. Maybe moving around had made my muscles sore. What can I expect? According to Mom, my body was totally ruined just a week ago. It was a miracle that I had recovered at all.
Once I was on my feet, I could feel my lungs taking in air again. My chest hurt, and breathing hurt even worse. What did I do last night? I only sparred with Seth as part of our physical therapy. Every punch sent ripples of pain throughout my body. I could feel every muscle twitch when I blocked, every muscle strain when I reached out for a punch, and everywhere in between was throbbing in pain. Seth was just in as much pain as I was, and I could see it in his eyes last night. If I was in this much pain, he was in worse. How long did I have to sit like this before I recovered from this? Can't do martial arts, can't use magicka. What the shab am I going to do with myself?
I held my breath as I started taking my sleeping dress off. It hurt just to lift my arms. Don't get me started on pulling my dress over my head. Talk about torture. If getting my clothes off was hard, I couldn't even begin to wonder how hard it would be to put more clothes on. I took a moment to just sit down before I looked at my folded robes. Damn tradition among my family. Hakama and keikogi. Not to mention the undershirt and the over-robes. Jeez… too much to do just to get dressed. Looking next to my formal black and gray robes, I saw a simple blue dress. Intrigued, I reached for it and pulled it up. It was more or less my size, and Dunmeri in design. I shrugged and held my breath as I threw the dress on. There was a pretty belt that seemed to go with the dress so I put it on too.
I looked at myself in the mirror. The dress fit me perfectly and the belt just made the whole thing look so much cuter. I looked around and found a pair of slip on boots. Putting those on was so easy that I almost laughed at how fast I had gotten dressed today. I finally opened the door and walked outside to see Mom waiting for me. "Good. I wasn't sure if my old dress would fit you or not." She nodded at me. "It looks good on you. Come, follow me." She started to walk upstairs. I tried my best to jog to catch up to her, but with every step I took, I felt my muscles bouncing inside of me, and it did not feel pleasant.
Mom looked back at me, all sympathy on her face. "Trust me, Veselle. I know what it's like to have your body fight you. You just have to keep taking one more step forward and you'll overcome this."
Was this what it was like for Mom every day for the past 8 years? I could not begin to imagine what that might have been like. She was not just fighting her body but also her mind. And she ended up losing. I wonder just how long she had held on before she couldn't hold it any longer. I found myself shaking my head. "I don't even know where to begin."
She smiled and reached out to pat me on the shoulder, just stopping an inch short. "You begin by climbing these stairs. One…step…at a time." I looked up the staircase to see Seth halfway up. He was bent over, taking deep breaths. Then he groaned and lifted his leg. His leg looked like it was so heavy, so burdened, that he could barely lift it. He managed to thump his foot on the next step and he nearly fell over in pain. He screamed in agony as he reached out in front of him to catch himself while he fell. He hit the stairs pretty hard, and he screamed in even more pain. Zera and Ruby watched from the top step. Zera was trying her best to hold back her tears, while Ruby just stood up there with her arms crossed. A look of pride was apparent in her eyes, and she nodded to Seth as he started pushing himself back up. He wobbled for a second and almost took a step backwards. But then he swung that same foot forward and slammed it on the next step. He was more than halfway up.
I looked at Mom and she nodded to me, directing me to the staircase with her hands. Ok, Vess. Time to climb some stairs. Talk about your biggest challenge yet. Dragon Priests shooting lightning at you: easy. Making out with Talvas: sorta easy. Taking on your psychotic mother and her deranged apprentice while ash spawn try to kill you: moderately simple. Let's climb some stairs… how hard can it be?
I lifted my first leg onto the stair. I felt nothing weird. Ok… so… was Seth just too beat up from last night to do anything? This was simple. So…I tried to push my leg up so I could place my other leg on the stair above it. And… my leg wouldn't move. My thigh muscle tried to push my weight up and…nothing. The only thing I did get was a sharp pain in my leg that ran up my side. My breath suddenly halted and my body shivered when the pain passed all the way up to my neck. What the heck was going on? I couldn't even take the first step! As I stood there and tried to catch my breath, I managed to say, "What the heck?", through gritted teeth.
Mother nodded. "The first step is often the hardest to overcome." She nodded to me. "But once you take it, you cannot stop. Not for anything in the world. Do you understand, daughter? This is your trial. You must overcome it if you are to continue to grow." She didn't say anything further as she just stood there and watched me with patient eyes.
I glanced up at Ruby and Zera. They were both looking at me with warm smiles and cheers. I grit my teeth as I threw my bodyweight forward, pushing with everything I had. My leg screaming in protest, I managed to push myself up, my other leg coming up. My foot caught on the second step and I let my breath escape. My body shivered and wobbled for a second. I looked ahead to see Seth taking another step forward, much like his last one he took. I could see tiny waves of blue flames pulling off his body, like it was fueling him. His flames of love… Was he thinking of me? Was he doing this for me?
Even as I thought it, small waves of blue flame started to show through my aura. I looked down to see the tiny sliver of flames pouring off me. Instead of exhausting me like my fireball from yesterday did, these flames seemed to invigorate me. They were the source of my feelings for Seth. If he would fight for me… I would fight for him. We were in this together. I screamed a kiai as I pushed with everything I had. My legs screamed as I threw myself forward. My vision blurred, my ears pounded with blood. I didn't focus on anything. I just kept pushing, kept moving. And then I felt my arms wrap around something warm. I embraced it and felt that warmth comfort me. I let the world catch up to me. I was standing next to Seth, on the last two steps. We were supporting each other.
"Vess… you ok?" He asked as he kept me from falling forward. I almost blacked out there for a second. Seth had held me up and kept me steady.
As my breath started to come back to me, I managed to nod my head. "Yeah." I wrapped my arm underneath Seth's arms. "We'll push each other up, ok?"
He nodded and wrapped his arm around me as well. "We'll go on three. Ready? One, two…" He grunted as he started to push me and him up. I helped push myself and him up as we both took a step forward.
"Three!" We both screamed as we took our step. And we just had one more to get through. I looked at him; he looked at me. We both nodded. "One…two…three!" We screamed in unison as we threw ourselves up the stairs. By now, our two blue flames were intertwined, forming one massive blue flame that we used as our fuel to push us up. And we cleared the final step. Then we crumbled on the floor. Well, I crumbled; Seth just fell down with me. I hit the floor, Seth landed beside me. I don't know how long we lied like that. Could have been minutes, could have been hours. Could have been all day. I didn't have it in me to stand up though. Man… that was tough! Those stairs really were my biggest challenge yet.
I don't know when Seth started laughing, but once he started, I couldn't help myself. It hurt to laugh, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. And then we both started laughing even harder. I tried my best to roll over to see him, but it hurt too much to move. I finally sighed as I relaxed every muscle I had. "Seth?"
"Yeah?" He asked from beside me.
"I love you so much right now." I turned my head to look at him.
He was looking at me with strained eyes, like he was getting ready to pass out. "I love ya too." He said right before his eyes shut. I heard him groan before he started his light snore nap breathing thing.
Ruby popped up over top of me somewhere. "Aww, that's so cute. The way you two clung to each other the whole way up the stairs." She grinned as she pulled out a small clear crystal. "Now, hold still." She said as she placed the crystal down on top of me. She took a step back and stuck her hand out at the crystal. With a grunt from Ruby, I felt the small crystal on top of me spring to life. Vibrations I'd never felt before passed through my body and I felt the majority of the pain in my body dissipate. It became easier to breathe. After a minute of this, I felt relaxed and ready to sit up. As soon as Ruby took the crystal off my chest, I sat right up. Very slight pain, like it was yesterday.
I pushed myself up on my feet, my legs lightly reminding me that they were not fully stretched out yet. "Wow…" I said as I clenched my fist and threw a punch. It didn't hurt as bad as it did yesterday when I threw one. "Why didn't you do that earlier?"
She looked at me and smiled. "I wanted to see if you were willing to help yourself first." She placed the crystal on Seth and repeated the same process. I just stood there and watched. I've worked on Destruction and Conjuration magicka for a year now. I've tried Alteration, Illusion, and Restoration. All those things I suck at. Alchemy sucks too. Too much thinking involved. Too much precision for ingredients. I almost blew up my room trying to make a healing potion. And that's impossible to do! And if you're asking which one was impossible… both. It's impossible to make something explosive out of the ingredients used for healing potions. And for me… it's impossible to brew healing potions. Any potions! Except instant tanner. I'm good at tanning potions. If tanning makes your skin break out in hives, anyway. I'm not better at Restoration than I am Alchemy. I've tried to heal people before, but I usually just end up hurting them. I'm just not programmed to heal.
I looked from Ruby to Zera. She smiled at me, rushing up to hug me. "You did it!" She screamed to me as she crashed into me. She almost bowled me over too. She looked at me with wide eyes, nearly crying. "It looked so painful. I'm so sorry."
I forced a smile and I hugged her close. "The worst is behind me." Boy, I hope that's the truth. I'd hate to think that something worse comes after that.
"Don't sit for too long. We have to do your stretches now." Mother announced from the staircase as she walked up to join us on the main floor.
Stretches? Like what Seth was doing yesterday? My stomach made a large growl sound and I was suddenly reminded that my body required food to function. My stomach was loud enough that everyone in the house heard me too. Mom rolled her eyes before saying, "Ok, ok. We'll get something to eat while we wait." She looked around the main floor. "The Ulens took all their food with them when fled the house, so we'll have to go to the cornerclub if we want to eat anything." She rubbed the back of her head. "Why I haven't bought groceries yet is beyond me."
Seth took a deep breath as he suddenly sat up, coughing. He took a few deep breaths, and then looked at his hands. "What? I feel good as new!"
Ruby smiled and picked her crystal off the floor. "You're welcome." She said as she looked at Mother. "So, what's for lunch?"
Mom looked around before holding up a finger. "Just wait one second." She raced down stairs, leaving us just standing there. A minute later, she ran back upstairs with her arms wrapped around Mirri like she was a baby. "Ok, let's go get lunch."
I looked at the blank expression Mirri had. Mirri looked pretty weak today. Did she even eat the past six days? She looked so much skinnier than she did when I fought her. That thought scared me. Mirri was one of my friends. If she was letting herself waste away… and I couldn't help her… what kind of friend was I?
I waved to Mirri when she glanced towards me. She shifted her glance away and I felt like I was failing her. I forced the feeling away as I looked over at Ruby and Seth. Seth looked just as saddened I was at Mirri's expression, while Ruby looked indifferent. Huh… not an expression I would have guessed she could have carried. I followed Mother out the door with Seth locked in my arms, Ruby and Zera following behind us. As soon as I walked outside, I could see Teldryn waiting for us in his usual manner, leaning against the house next to the doorway. As soon as Mother started heading out towards the cornerclub, Teldryn followed beside her, actually taking Mirri from her and carrying her.
The town looked pretty active today. There were guards out with practice swords, all fighting each other in team battles and whatnot. I had never seen them train so diligently before. It was a curious thing. Maybe the assassination attempt plus losing their minds to a Daedra Lord put them all on alert. Huh… I guess it had to happen sometime. I had paused to see a few members of Cute Girl Squad practice their combat skills but I as soon as I felt Seth pulling on my arm, I quickly returned to walking over to the cornerclub.
Mom held the door open for me as we walked inside. Teldryn already had two tables put together for us as we all sat down. I made sure to sit down next to Mirri. She sat there quietly as we all took our seats. I waved my hand in front of Mirri's face, which drew a slight glance towards me.
I tried to smile at her. "Hey." I nudged her with my arm. "What's up?"
She redirected her gaze back to napkin in front of her. I mentally punched myself. Hey, what's up? That's the best I could come up with? Gods, that was a stupid thing to say.
Ruby looked from me over to Mirri. I could hear a slight growl in her throat and her tail flicked. What was getting her riled up? Did she hate Mirri for some reason? "Hey, silent girl." Ruby called from in front of Mirri. Mirri glanced up at Ruby for a second, and held a glance at her for a second before looking back down. Ruby actually growled and slammed her hands on the table, making it shift. I almost jumped back, it was so sudden and loud. Everyone in the cornerclub turned to look at us. I looked up at Ruby to see that her eyes had started turning red. Red? Khajiits don't have red eyes… they're usually purple, blue, amber or white, but never red. "What's your name?" Ruby asked Mirri. When Mirri didn't answer her, I thought for certain that Ruby was going to stand up and slash at her with her claws.
"Mirri!" I said to Ruby, which made her sit back down as she started to rise to her feet. "Her name is Mirri."
Ruby looked at me for a second, her red eyes glaring at me next. "Thanks… um…" She scratched her head. "Veselle, right?" I nodded. She turned her gaze from me over to Mirri. "Mirri. … Look at me." When Mirri didn't lift her head, Ruby growled and slammed her fist on the table again. "Fierfekla kyramud! I understand your all in mirjahaal and all, but your friend is trying to help you! The least you could do is talk to her!"
Mirri looked up at Ruby for a second. "Shut up." She managed to say.
Ruby smirked. "Oh, she can talk after all. Can you talk to your friends? They seem eager to talk to you." Mirri managed to push herself up away from the table. The look in her eyes wasn't all that friendly. Ruby noticed it too. Ruby pushed herself out of her table. "Oh, are we going to do this? Please let me get to slap some sense into you."
Mother was up before either of them could do anything. She stuck her hands out at both of them and they froze as the green Paralyze spell wrapped around them. "We do not fight at the dinner table, children."
Just as she said that, a bartender walked over to us. "Welcome to the Retching Netch Cornerclub. How may I serve you?"
Mom looked over at Ruby and Mirri. "I will let you two go now, and you will sit and eat like good children, or so help me I will bend you over my knee and make you both wish you had your parents here instead of me." She dropped the spell and both Ruby and Mirri fell back into their seats. She glared at both of them for a second before saying, "I will have the ash yam salad with the light Imperial dressing on the side to eat and a glass of your finest wine, if you would be so kind."
The bartender nodded and looked at Ruby. She shrugged. "Rare steak and some moon milk."
The bartender laughed at that. "We have two kinds of moon milk. Hallucinogenic and non-hallucinogenic."
Ruby scoffed. "Non, please."
The bartender turned to look at Mirri. "And for you miss?"
When Mirri didn't answer, Mother answered for her. "She'll have ash mountain rolls and some water."
The bartender was about to ask me for my order, but I heard two members of Cute Girl Squad come through the door. They were laughing as they complemented each other. I knew those faces: they were Starah and Thrin.
"You almost had me this time." Starah said to Thrin as they picked out a table next to us. "Keep training like that and you'll be ready for the Warrior's Festival." The what? I looked over at them.
Thrin smiled at Starah, nodding. "Thanks for helping me, Starah. I don't think I'd last one round in the tournament without your help. You'll probably win though. Your father always won the tournaments, didn't he?"
Starah chuckled. "Well, Dad is the captain of the guard after all. What do you expect?" What? Her father was Captain Veleth? I didn't know that. And what tournament?
It drew Ruby's attention too. "Excuse me. Did you mention a tournament?"
Thrin and Starah both looked at us. Starah was the one that nodded. "Yeah. Every 20th of Sun's Dusk there's a tournament in honor of the Warriors Festival. Why?"
Ruby growled as she looked over at Mirri. "Want to settle this in the tournament?"
Mirri's eyes narrowed as she glared at Ruby. "Yeah." She nodded.
I looked from Ruby over to Seth. He was thinking the same thing I was. We couldn't let them fight each other. We had to enter the tournament too. What if I ended up fighting Mirri though? I couldn't beat her last time; what made me think I could beat her this time? And if I did fight her, would it be as her friend or would she officially stop being my friend at that time? I had no answer, but I had to keep Ruby and Mirri from killing each other. Ok, Vess. Time to play peacekeeper… by kicking everyone's butt!
Cearbhail:
So, Ruby and Mirri are going to fight each other? Yeah! And Vess is going to try to keep them from doing it. With only four days until the tournament, she will have to heal her body quickly. Too bad she'll be busy doing something other than training. Like... fighting a dragon priest. And ... I shouldn't ruin the surprise, but the tournament will have a special guest. Like Sanguine only... you know... likes to fight. Mhuahahaha!
