A/N: Wow, well, it's not been that long has it? I finished reading Half-Blood Prince the second day it was out (which made no sense whatsoever… sure, I got the book at precisely 12:03AM, but I still ate properly, took time to watch TV, went to sleep, chatted with friends online… and I wasn't even TRYING to finish it the next day but I did. cry) Well, here's the next chappie. I'm trying to not let the 6th book really affect my writing, I personally thought J.K. Rowling must have been reading fanfictions in between writing her books, there were so many 'ships. I'm not complaining, it was still good, I just didn't agree with certain happenings in it which would potentially make me have to shift this story… the only thing that might be evident I've read the book is perhaps some new spells you'll read in the 6th book. I appreciate all my reviewers… I love reviews because I like improving my writing/know what I should do next. Special thanks to "mrs. skywalker" for advising me and giving my beta, Glenyce (Holy Pancake), a second opinion basically, because they both thought it was curiously (or excruciatingly) long. I love you guys!

- - - - - -

Dear Hermione,

Commit suicide while it's still evitable.

Love, Harry

P.S. I just got a new phone card, I hope you didn't throw out the phone you were talking in.

- - - - - -

Hermione-

Give me the address of this Glash character.

Hope to see you soon, Ron

- - - - - -

Hermione groaned as she put down the unhelpful articles intended to send advice. Both best friends were about as useful as a Blast-ended Skrewt. She managed to pen down the mission later that night since she couldn't sleep, explaining how she can't escape it, making it as clear as possible, and repeating it several times to both Harry and Ron (for Ron, she bolded it with her thick-ink quill and bewitched it to pop off on the page every 5 seconds) that they can NOT kill Malfoy. But she noticed, she was so engrossed into convincing them that another war would erupt if they killed Malfoy, that she left out the smaller more important details, such as how she can't escape the Auror mission if she died, or kill Nathan (which, by the way, she had already planned out). Not long after, at precisely 5AM, she had received their replies. Both unsuccessful.

She hit her head on the desk, growling low in her throat.

How could she do it? She never failed missions. EVER. And she wasn't about to just start now because she was afraid of a little ferret rabies. Hell, she wasn't afraid, she was disgusted. She hadn't seen the boy ever since they graduated, and last thing she remembered was he had given up on Pansy because he was disgusted she had slept with Dean Thomas who was in Gryffindor, which definitely associated him with the Golden Trio. She had NO idea how he worked except from an enemy's point of view. Hermione never bothered to wonder how to get on Malfoy's good side anyway… and as much as she hated to admit it, she doubted any books she had indulged in, or will ever indulge in was expertise in the subject of wooing a Malfoy.

She was about to rake her hands into her hair again, but then thought better of it, and looked distastefully at her hair as she thought she heard it purr in triumph.

She had considered Polyjuice Potion, deciding to change her form to a Veela, but that wouldn't work forever, and she didn't know the side effects it had if you were with child. UGH! Does that mean she accepted she'd have to do the mission after all? Hermione had already begun to worry about their unborn child. Hermione's face screwed up in a look of pure horror, she just said 'their unborn child.' Oh no… she had a vague fast forward into her future house which looked freakishly like the Burrow, and Hermione making a very good impression of Molly Weasley except having wild snarling brown hair, and she was yelling at fifteen or so blonde ferret spawns running around the household as she waved her ladle around.

Hermione groaned, and hit her head on the desk again. Maybe if she did it enough, the desk will feel sorry for her and suck her into its woodsy depths.

"Hermione!"

Hermione looked up, "Oh. Ginny!" If Hermione wasn't too busy imagining herself picking out matching outfits for her newly born Malfoy twins, she would have smiled, but looked absolutely sick.

"I heard about your mission."

"You… did?" Hermione whispered breathlessly, leaning deeper into her chair, maybe it'll swallow her hole since the desk wasn't as pitying. She couldn't say she wasn't half relieved she didn't have to retell the mission.

"Mmhmm." Ginny said nodding, pulling a massive beanbag chair up towards Hermione's desk with much effort. "Harry owled me as soon as he got your letter, telling me I should pay a visit since you kept emphasizing he couldn't kill Malfoy, which got him worried about your mental health." She gritted thought grunts.

"Oh."

"So, why can't we kill Malferret?" Ginny said, looking very comfortable in the red and orange bean bag chair.

"War. It might start another war."

"But there's so few death eater-"

"You forget, Gin, that the Malferret you speak of is the most influential dark wizard of our time next to Voldemort. He has connections, bribes, money, people, people who owe him…" Hermione started hitting her head on the desk again.

Ginny cocked her head to the side, just noticing a not-so-thick book that looked like something Hermione would never pick up. It was under 5 inches in length.

"Pregnancy: What to do about it?" Ginny read the title aloud.

Hermione nodded, her bushy hair covering her face from view.

"What's this for?"

"I was hoping there was a way to have a baby without the fun part of making them." Hermione started casually, "There's a way in the Muggle world, but I have no idea how anyone would or even would try to get a sample of Malfoy's sperm so they can inject it into one of my eggs."

"Harry told me you have to sleep with Malfoy."

"Yes well, that was before I realized that I was looking for nothing. I forgot to return it to the library…" Hermione murmured in reply, and then she snapped her fingers and the book disappeared into a library in the upper corridors.

"So you already said yes to the mission? For sure? Even before you knew what it was? Wow Hermione, that's something Ron would do."

"Please, Ginny, don't insult me now."

Ginny didn't look at all angry that Hermione just bad mouthed her relative, in fact she looked mildly amused, and nodded with agreement.

"Well, Harry told me that you're bound to this mission until death. So… if it gets down to it…" Ginny said thoughtfully.

"Past death, Ginny. It follows me around forever until I complete it. Trust me, I would have already killed myself if I had the option."

Ginny nodded again, patting Hermione's bushy head, but she recoiled as a few strands of hair threatened to attack her.

"Hermione, it couldn't be that bad, could it?"

"Would you want to sleep with him?"

Ginny made a look like she was thinking, but immediately said, "No-"

"Okay then."

"-BUT, if I was in your position, I'd accept it (even though I still have no idea why you said yes before you knew what the mission was) and get it over with instead of sulk on it all day."

"Ginny, how can it not be bad? The likelihood of him snogging me is the likelihood of Harry and Ron making love in the moonlight."

The youngest Weasley looked disgusted, "You put a lot of thought into that, didn't you?"

"Ginny!" Hermione whined, "I know I'm going to hex Malfoy out of instinct! I could see it now, him entering the doorway, and me screaming 'Petrificus Totalus!'"

"I don't know if Malferret's the kinky type, 'Mione. I'm sure he'd love to be moving while you're screaming his name in ecstasy-"

"Okay, stop Ginny."

"-and then he reaches his breaking point and you both ride Heaven's most-"

"Ginny!"

"-glorious rainbow, and then-"

"Silencio!"

Ginny was still blabbing inaudibly, looking very much like a gold fish out of water with her enthusiastic gesticulations. Then she noticed she was silenced, and immediately stopped talking, giving Hermione a cheeky grin.

"Good lord, Ginny, you're… you're the most evil thing since Cher!"

Ginny looked offended, as if to say, 'I can't believe you compared me to Cher.'

"I can't believe you know about Cher." Retorted Hermione.

Ginny mouthed, 'Who doesn't know about her? She was known for making half the wizarding world deaf. Which I consider lucky, seeing as the rest of us had to endure her voice.'

Hermione chuckled. Then did the counterspell on Ginny, and she was back to talking again,

"Anyway, 'Mione, I think that you should really get your thoughts together. Get some advice from Pansy or something. The quicker you do it, the less time you have to go about thinking of it."

"Your reasoning doesn't make any sense, Gin."

"I know."

"Pansy? Reasoning? That's a good one. Tell me another."

"Hermione… I'm sure Pansy must have slept with Malferret once or twice. I think she can give you tips on working with him… I mean, working on him."

"Hah hah hah."

"If anything, you should get this mission over with as soon as possible, and trust me, if anyone knows anything about sleeping with Malfoy, its Pansy."

"Asking Pansy for advice doesn't sound… right."

"Just do it. Now I'm going to go get a bite to eat, I'm starving. It's about 7am right now, and I'm sure you need some sleep. I'll owl Harry about why you can't kill yourself, and inform choice family members." Ginny, stretched before continuing, "I'll be back down around lunch- I'll get you something. Night."

Hermione faintly heard Ginny whispering a lullaby that she knew very well would send her to sleep, before she drifted off all together.

- - - - - - -

"Hermione! You got it easy, Darling!" said Pansy. It was about 1pm, and Hermione had just woken up to the sound of a ringing phone 30 minutes before. To her disgust, Pansy's squeal was the first thing she heard when she picked up the receiver. And as expected, her 'advice' was far from helpful. The conversation went from make-up products, to Lavender's latest fling with a muggle to what pork chops were really made of. Finally, Hermione coaxed back the topic of discussion.

"D-Don't call me Darling," said Hermione with annoyance completely evident in her voice.

"But anyone would kill for that position, Herm!" Pansy exclaimed enthusiastically. "To think you're getting paid to sleep with Draco!"

"Pansy-"

"The walking sex organ himself! The icing on the cake! The dangerously sexy-"

"Prat." Hermione finished.

"No, not the word I was looking for. Slytherin King, Hermione. The dangerously sexy Slytherin King.

"I didn't know there was a crown for being annoying, selfish, rude, dishonest, malicious, and annoying."

"Oh, Hermione," Pansy laughed, "No need to compliment yourself! People might consider that… conceited."

Hermione glowered.

"('Pansy you're holding the cell phone upside down!' Harry's voice said.) Oh? Am I?" There was a scuffling and then Pansy's already loud voice became nauseatingly clearer. "Like this? ('Perfect! Tell 'Mione ello!') Harry Potter says 'hello,' Hermione."

"Tell him likewise, and also tell him thanks for making your unrelenting condescending voice ever so much more pronounced."

And to Hermione's amusement, Pansy did. But then again, Hermione wasn't too surprised that Pansy didn't have the word 'condescending' in her vocabulary.

"Also tell him I want to defenestrate you right now."

Pansy also told Harry this, then giggled, "Hermione, I didn't think 'phone sex' was your thing. ('Err… Pansy, defenestrate means she wants to throw you out a window.') No...really?" said Pansy coyly, having no idea what Harry meant by that. Surely, any word being shot at Pansy with so much passion like how Hermione did would mean sex.

"I didn't think you'd know about phone sex." Hermione said with surprise.

"I did some free reading. Who knew Playgirl was as good as Playwitch! And those compromising positions!-"

"Okay, Pansy."

"Oh right, right. Advice."

Hermione sighed audibly.

"Draco is always a variety. You know, he's a Scorpio, so he's an awesome lover."

"…"

"He even makes bad lovers into good ones."

"What are you implying?" Hermione asked bitterly.

"Well, Lavender told me you made Krum gay-"

"We're getting off topic!"

"Sorry, again! Okay, Draco is always into sex. He made me tired with how many routines we did-"

"Coming from a girl who slept with half of Hogwarts, that's a surprise."

"-and his stamina… Mm…" Pansy moaned dreamily.

"Pansy, I don't want to hear you getting off on Malfoy."

"Sorry?" Pansy said breathlessly.

"Never mind. I'm going to hang up."

"Hang up? What's hang up?"

"End the conversation on a phone."

"Why would you want to end this conversation? ('Mione wants to stop talking to you? What did you say?') Nothing! I was giving her advice! ('Here give me the cell… no, not the cell phone charger, the thing in your hand')." There was some shuffling of one hand passing a phone to another, and Harry's teasingly pleasant voice resounded into Hermione's ear,

"Hi 'Mione," he said cheekily, much like how Ginny did when she described Hermione and Malferret's climatic charade, "What happened?"

"I refuse to talk to someone who's springing a leak off relating her stories of how good a rabid rodent is in bed. It's revolting."

Harry started laughing and replied smoothly, "Well either way, that's what you'll be doing perhaps a week from now after we decide you and that rabid rodent's baby's name."

"What! A week? Have you gone daft?"

"Too long? Oh well, Ron bet two weeks, and George bet three months. Fred wanted out and said George might want to move somewhere remote after he wins, like the jungle, so when you come to kill him your hair might catch on a branch and George can escape-"

"YOU BET ON HOW FAST I CAN BED MALFOY?"

"No worries, if me or Ron win, we split the profit. 1,000 Galleons PLUS a chance to name the baby! We're going to get it!"

"Get a swift kick in the ass!" Hermione was livid, "I'm worth more than 1,000 Galleons!"

There was a shuffling and Pansy's squeaking came through the phone again, "I should come fly down there to London, and give you personal tips. I simply LOVE Muggle international transport! 'Airphane' isn't it? ('Airplane, Pansy.') Right, right, airplane it is then."

"I'd rather you not."

"Oh come on, Hermy!"

Hermione cringed. Pansy's voice coupled with an even more distasteful form of her horrible nickname was like listening to a cat claw a blackboard.

"It's not like we'll be doing anything… naughty," she said suggestively, "I mean, tips, right?"

"No, it's not that," Hermione lied, "I wouldn't want to take you away from your vacationing."

"Hardly. I've got workloads over here."

"Which is why I shouldn't hold you up on your work." Hermione said quickly. She could almost hear Pansy's pout.

"Hmph. Well then, I suppose since Lavender isn't doing anything productive except wasting space on the receipt on our cadet cars ('Credit cards, Pansy.' Harry corrected.), right, credit cards, she should go in my place."

"Oh," Hermione said with a nervous chuckle, "No, it's really okay. I'm fine with all you told me." Lavender was almost worse than Pansy. Hermione could see herself now, trapped under 8 inches of make up and weighed down so heavily under 10 tons of bobby pins and hairclips that she can't run away as Lavender gossips about having sex with Ron and Harry at the same time.

"Which is why there's so much more you need to know! Hm. How should I say this…Ah yes, it's like you reading chapter one in Hogwarts: A History, you only get a gist of what the whole book is about. Now, Lavender has some good ideas. She's the one who offered me Playgirl after all. I'll tell her right away! Lav would simply love giving you fashion and style ideas!"

Hermione was so stunned that Pansy memorized a title of one of Hermione's favorite books that she forgot to stop Pansy as she asked Harry how to 'turn this thing off' and hung up completely.

- - - - - - -

A/N: Yay! I'm done with chappie number two! Okay, before the rabid Draco fan girls attack me, let me say it now: I know he's a Gemini. I mean, I had to endure 5 minutes of my beta and real life friend ranting about it, in person. So before you guys should panic/hyperventilate/think the world is ending, I'm going to "clarify." I made him a Scorpio, because it matches his personality better. I decided that I should revolve Draco around his astrological elements, not because I believe in the stuff, but because it makes everything so much easier and not to mention, fun. And thanks Colleen (Moonlightshadows) for doing some little editing here and there.

Oh yeah, and can someone also re-clarify whether or not Ginny's real name is Ginerva or Ginevra? My beta thinks it's Ginevra…

-yoshi09