Cearbhail:
well... things happen.
=^^= Enjoy...
Dear diary of shadows,
Today is the 26th Sun's Dusk. The past few days have been pretty uneventful. We've been working on moving Mirri's stuff over to her new house in Tel Mithryn. First, we had to build the house, but that's pretty easy when I elect the services of Cute Girl Squad to help us build it. The tournament on the 20th had been official cancelled and so… they needed to do something. I spent the whole day playing Ruins and Dwarves with my friends. The whole campaign turned out to be a war against Molag Bal or something stupid like that. We ended the campaign with pulling down Molag Bal's pants and then pushing him into a cage filled with judgmental Daedra cheerleaders. It's weird but… I guess Boethiah knows how to mess with him or something? She went back to her Daedric Realm after the campaign had finished.
So, Dad and Mom are still out doing things and that means Teldryn is in charge of us. Normally, I'm ok with this, but things are getting… weird. That pressure I've been feeling for a while is only getting worse. I mean… two years ago, when I went into the mine to find out what happened to the old man's body, I came across that really intense pressure that only continued to build as I made my way down the temple. That same pressure, the one that was coming from the Black Book… the one that belongs to Tentacle Rape Monster, I can feel it every day. It's getting stronger, and it feels like it's pushing down on us. I can see it's affecting everyone here too. Our steward, Drovas, spends his afternoon pacing around the town, whispering stuff. Our other neighbors are doing pretty much the same. Walking around in a haze… saying stuff. It's getting pretty bad. The pressure is getting worse… I…
I'm seeing things. I'm dreaming things. I feel like there are tentacles all around me, trying to choke me… control me. I think… I think I can feel these things around my friends too. Seth… he's not doing too well. We try to practice our Compatibility but… I feel this thing leaking over, like a controlled plunge into something inky. I can't explain it. The ash whispers to me when the wind calls. I..
When's Dad coming home?
Veselle Tenvanni.
…
Well, what to say about today? It's boring, I'll start with that. No, actually I won't start with that. It's not that it's boring; it's that I have nothing to do. Absolutely nothing. There are a lot of things I can do, but I don't want to do them. I could stand in the middle of the training circle and practice my magicka until my fingers fall off. I could summon Kyuu and play 'catch the apple' with him. Or… I could summon him and he'll go run off to be with Tatianna, his favorite new friend. More like girlfriend. I know what's going on while they're off 'training'.
So, what am I doing? I'm sitting in my room, looking up at the ceiling. Nothing is going on, not a thing at all. Every time I look out my window, I can see Drovas pacing around the town. He's just walking around, bumping into things… rummaging through my trash… poking my apple tree. Oh gods… he's at it again.
I jumped off my bed to my window. Drovas was standing by my tree, poking at one of the apples. I don't know why he does it… he just does. It's getting annoying. "Hey!" I screamed through my window, tapping on it to draw his attention. If I'm lucky, I'll scare him away. "Stop poking my apples! If you want one, just take one!"
He completely ignored me. "In the light of the temple…" He mumbled to himself as he poked my apple again.
"Oh gods…" I face-palmed. "Drovas, I don't want to hurt you. I actually like you; you're funny, enthusiastic… but if you keep poking my apples, I'm going to beat you up." He poked my apple again.
This… This was my week so far. Mom and Dad are still gone, still looking for the lost villagers. Brelyna is off with Teldryn… having a date. I don't know where they went, but I doubt they'll be coming back anytime soon. Brelyna said something about seeing the River of Magicka in Alinor. Don't know where that is, don't really care. Well, actually I do care. It sounds like a great place to take Seth. Speaking of him, or rather… thinking of him, I wonder what he was doing right now. Him and Zera. I think I found out what I'm going to do today. I could also check up on Mirri. She's bound to be just as bored as I am.
So, I walked outside, closing my door behind me. It's so nice to have a door for my little house now. Since I've had nothing to do the past six days, I've been expanding my house, trying to make it bigger. I have a nice big tub now to drown people in… I mean… bathe people in. Drown? Since when did I think about drowning people? Or myself? Huh…. I think we need a therapist in this town. Drowning him sounds easy enough. What? Stop thinking about that kind of crap, Vessy! Why? Why not? Why the why not? What is going on with me? What's going on with everyone else? Praise Miraak.
"Miraak stands tall…" Drovas whispered through my window. It was enough to make me jump back. He was looking right at me, his red eyes focused intently on me. It was kind of creepy. I hated this… I hated this so much right now.
"Drovas…" I stuck my hand out at him. "You have half a second to turn around and leave my garden or else I will blast you with so much fire magicka you'll look like a hairless troll."
He stood there for a few seconds; and I guess he called my bluff. "In the light of the temple…" He started his whispering over again, turning away and stalking away from my window. Jeez… what is going on with him? With everyone? With me?!
I looked down at my own hands. I'm not usually this… violent. I almost cooked him with my flames. I thought about drowning someone! That's not me! What's going on? I allowed myself to catch my breath. Just calm down, Veselle. You can think through this. It's just… your nerves getting riled up. Just, take a deep breath… yeah… that feels like a normal thing to do. Hold your breath. Yup… just like that.
…
Um… You can let go now. Release your breath…
…
Why aren't you releasing your breath, Veselle? Not to alarm you or anything like that… but… your face is turning darker, purplish. Your limbs are starting to tingle. …
…
You do realize that if you don't release your breath soon that you're going to do damage to your brain… not to mention the amount of carbon dioxide collecting in your body will do bodily damage to you as well. And let's not even get started on the ballooning effect. You know… more and more gas building up until something goes 'boom'. If you want to escape those things from happening… you will… and this is very simple stuff I'm talking about. You just… have to… BREATHE!
…
VESELLE! Release your breath! Gods… Do something! Let it go! Don't claw at your throat like that. Pounding on your chest will not make you release your breath. You have to let it out… not beat it out. You're only making it worse! You're moving too much; struggling too much! You do realize you're making more carbon dioxide, which is flooding you only more quickly. It's a lot like drowning… only without water. You will pop soon…
…
Do you realize that you're beginning to lose your balance? That wobbly feeling… that achy feeling… that's not normal. You are dying. Do you want that? Really? No? …. You know what you need to do, Veselle. Breathe!
…
Why aren't you listening? I'm trying to help you! You only need to let it go… take that first step. You need to do this, Veselle. I can't seem to get through to you, but why? Aren't I always in control of you? Do I not dictate how you behave and whatnot? Are I not your inner voice… the thing you use to help you evaluate your surroundings? So… why Veselle? Why are you ignoring me? Why are you refusing to breathe?
…
Do you want to die or something? I'm doing everything I can to get you to breathe… and you're ignoring me? Aren't I the one in control of your actions? Since when did you get a voice in deciding how your life plays out? I won't let you die, not for one second! Even if you are me! I'm in control because I am you! And I'm ordering you/me to breathe! So… why aren't you? Why am I allowing myself to die? The world is spinning… my head is spinning faster… my head feels like it's going to explode. Why? Who is doing this? Why kind of spell is this?
…
I give up. It's getting harder to think. My vision is blurring… seeing me choke myself… punching myself in the chest to force a breath. Looking at my face in the mirror… how my mouth was open and how I was putting marks on my throat… seeing my fingers drawing blood as I tried to draw even the smallest breath… I was scared. But… I couldn't do anything. Why? Why aren't I listening to myself? Why can't I get me to breathe?
"Hey, partner?" Kyuu's voice popped into my head. "I'm going to just let you know something, something I think is pretty important. You're suffocating! Did you know that? What, did you suddenly forget how to breathe?"
I can't let my breath out! I thought urgently to Kyuu. Something is wrong… I can't get my lungs to work!
"Oh… that's pretty bad. Um… hold on!" He responded back.
I looked around the room, trying my best to find something. My body was stiffening up. "Just let it go… let go of everything… you… belong to me now." I knew that voice. That was Hermeaus Mora. He was doing this! "Oh… but you must know by now… you're doing this to yourself. You… you tried to stop me from killing the Dragon Priest… and then you killed him for me. You're my tool, Veselle. You always will be."
I felt those slimy tentacles wrapping around my body again, and that's when I felt it… they were wrapped around my throat… constricting my lungs. He was one not letting me breathe. He was trying to kill me! Why? Because I did something he wanted to do? That doesn't make any sense.
"You would try to undo that which I have set in motion. You would deny me my victory… all for a cause you know nothing of. Ignorance! I hate ignorance. You… your family…. They study and toil away, trying to reason out my very plan. You cannot stop it… you cannot stop them. Nothing can. You would undo my progress if I let you live. The Dragonborn… he is coming. Which one it is that comes… is up to you… and me… And if you die… then it's up to me. And since I am the God of Fate… I will be the one to decide how this all plays out. Goodbye… little Veselle."
It's worth noting that Hermeaus Mora speaks very slowly… and for him to say all that while choking me out… it was like two minutes of pure hell while I collapsed onto the floor. Two minutes while I writhed… listening to his voice… so… many…
….
Dad? Is that you? A hallucination? You're standing right over me… staring at me… but… I know you're not real. Why? Why am I seeing you? Is this my last relief? To die… seeing someone watching over me? Why can't it be Mom watching over me? Or my real father… the one that died?
…
…
This is it. I know it. I can't function anymore like this. It's been an honor to live, Veselle… you've been heavily lucky and fortunate to make it this long… but we both know how this story ends. It ends right here… right now. But… before we go… let's review some things we both know.
…
This all started with your father being an idiot. Messing around with research he never needed to do. He got us into this mess by messing with the heart stones. He set us on this course… he set all of us on this course the moment he picked up a heart stone and decided to learn about them. He wanted to learn how to harness its potential to become stronger. And then… to meddle in affairs that were not his to meddle in. He let his wife die… to learn more about the heart stones. He tried to hide you from your mother… tried to pass off to some random person, one of the best people you'll ever meet… and he let this person basically raise you into the person you've become today.
You've survived… lived all this time thanks to his preparations. Thanks to Mjoll, Karliah… and him. Thanks to the constant training in stealth, martial arts… cooking… everything but magicka… you've managed to make it this far. And now… all that preparation was for nothing. You are out of breath… out of time. Your brain… me… is shutting down. And… in a last ditch effort to save your life, I'm doing everything I can… every thought I can… to save it. So, until you learn what it is you need to learn… remember what it is you need to remember…
…
In order to justify our meaning of life… of why we exist, of why we make connections… to justify that we are here for a reason, not just to live and die… you need to do this! Remember, Veselle! Remember everything! You have to! I'm just your brain, you're the one that needs to think. I can only think if you let me.
…
Ok! I get it. We're out of time. We're on the floor; you're hallucinating; and your chest is already beginning to pop. Do you want to accept this? Are you really ok with just letting this Daedra Lord get away with murder? To stop you from becoming the thing he fears you will be? Are you really ok with letting Seth grow up without you? To let Zera cry over your corpse? Are you ready for that? Are you truly prepared for that?
…
NO! I'll answer that for both of us! We're both not ready. You want to know why I know this? Because… in spite of everything going on… in spite of everything you think we know… you're still thinking. You're still clawing at your throat... You're still trying to get to the middle of town… to your training circle. Because… in spite of everything we know… of everything you've forgotten… we both know one basic little fact…
…
Inside that training circle… not even a Daedric Lord can get to you. And you're so close now… so very close! You just need to move, Veselle! You're out of time… out of breathe. Roll credits… this is the end of the show.
…
…
Some might call this the light at the end of the tunnel… the time where you see your life flash before your eyes. Some might call this an awakening… some sort of realization of what you needed to learn, why you were born. Blah, blah, blah. Does that even matter in the end? You are born… and you die. That is the cold reality that we all face. The light at the end of the tunnel? The flash before your eyes? Why do we always focus on this detail before we die? So that we are reassured that we have something to look forward to when we disperse from this world?
Everything I've gone through…
Everyone I've met…
Every lesson shoved down my throat…
…
There has to be something I can use to get me through this…
…
"Veselle." Karliah? I… I haven't heard that voice in a long time, it feels like.
…
"Veselle."
My eyes snapped open, which didn't really help me. Stupid blindfolds. My hands were bound behind my back, my legs tied up. It was a lot like being constricted by some stupid tentacle monster or something like that. Man… this sucks. Why on Nirn did Karliah think I need to learn this today?
"Karliah… it's my 12th birthday. Can't we just… I don't know… eat some cake?" I asked while trying to guess where she was standing. She was so quiet that I couldn't even tell where she was even if I weren't blindfolded.
"Veselle, things are changing." Karliah whispered around me. "I'm now the Thieves Guild leader, and that means things are going to be changing around here. The Imperial Legion is now in control of the town, but the Stormcloaks will probably start trouble with us. If they do, they will bring war to the town. And that means… we're all in danger. So, if things begin to go south, I need to know you to know how to survive. So… this is lesson one. You're bound… and… well… you better take a deep breath."
"What?" Is the only thing I had time to ask before she pushed me. I didn't know I was standing on the dock. I didn't know the river canal was right behind me. I barely even had time to take a breath and close my mouth before I felt the cold thick…and oddly slimy water take me. It was so cold that I almost let myself lose the breath I had just collected.
…
I don't know how long I drifted down to the bottom of the canal. I thrashed as much as I could, tried to loosen my bounds. I couldn't get them to move. I tried to move my wrists but… it didn't work. They were tightly wrapped up. No good. And… I'm starting to lose it. I'm afraid of drowning…
I'm blindfolded, bound, and lying at the bottom of a canal. My lungs are screaming at me to let go of my breath, but I know I can't. I have to do this… holding my breath.
"Veselle, can you hear me?" I heard in my ear. "Don't be scared, I'm contacting you using an Illusion spell I picked up along the way. You've been down there for exactly 15 seconds. You need to calm down and focus. You will be down there for three minutes. If you fail and drown, I will bring you up, wake you up, and toss you right back down again, so listen now. If you're going to survive this, you need to control your breath. There is a special technique stealth operators like myself learn. You basically override your own brain… and you let yourself control your body. You say 'no' to the burning desire to breathe. That's your brain's fear… losing its air. You cannot waste time and energy focusing on what you can't have, but on what you need to do. And you know that… you need to get out of the water. You're bound, but you can still inch yourself. Try to swim. Do something. Granted, moving will exhaust you faster and make your collapse faster too. But… there we are. And guess what? It's already been a minute. You're so focused on me that you're still alive. Congrats on that. You have maybe 30 seconds before you pass out so… you better get swimming. If you reach the top of the canal, I'll count it as a win. So… get swimming. Bye, bye. Oh… and don't forget I'm doing this because I love you. I know one day this very lesson will be important. It always is."
…
It hurt. It hurt so much.
…
I can't see…
I can't breathe…
I don't know where I'm going. Blood in pounding in my head. But… I know it's helping. "Veselle, you only have a few more feet to go." Was that Karliah? Was it Kyuu? I can't tell. Was I still thinking of the past, or was I back in the present. My hand was dragging me along the ground… but I could just as easily be swimming in the sludgy water. It's hard to move through this crap… hard to move myself along. It took me forever just to reach the bottom of the lake.
I wanted to die. No… not wanted. Sure I was dead, that's a better explanation. How am I still going? Sheer willpower? How many times have I relied on my luck and willpower to get myself out of a situation? "You're almost there. Just a little further! Come on, Veselle!"
I tried to move, tried to do anything at all. I reached out…my numb hand doing something. I can't tell what though. My body was doing what it wanted by now. I can't help anymore. I just have to keep going. That's all I know. Just have to keep moving. If I don't… I won't make it.
…
"Veselle?"
…
[Mirri]
What on Nirn was Veselle doing? I know things are getting pretty boring here but… to roll around in the mud? That's just weird. Still, it's not as weird as watching Zera roll around in the mud. Ok… it's pretty weird. Veselle is actually responsible enough to where she wouldn't do stuff like that anymore. Wait… that's right. She wouldn't do stuff like this anymore. There had to be something wrong.
"Veselle?" I asked as I bent down to see her. When I rolled her over, I was not expected what I saw. Her face was bright purple, her eyes almost bulging out of her head. Her mouth was wide open, gagging on something I couldn't see. Was she choking? I had to do something about it.
I flipped her onto her back. Time to do something I never thought I'd have to do. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for CPR. What were the steps? I had to breathe into her and then pump down on her chest 30 times. Is that correct? I think it was. So… here we go. I plugged up her nose and placed my mouth on hers. I tried to breathe in but… that's weird. It's like she already has air. Huh… so…
That's when I felt it. The presence of Daedric energy. It was gripping her throat like a hangman's noose. I had to help her out. Looking around for something I could do, I noticed Veselle's hands were reaching out for her training circle. It wasn't too far from us. That's it! She was trying to get to her training circle, where nothing can harm her! That's exactly what I must do.
"Don't worry, Veselle. Almost there." I said to her as I grabbed her arms. I started dragging her to the training circle.
"In the light of the temple…" I heard right beside me, from three different people.
I turned my head around. Standing in my way were Draseth, Zeratah, and Drovas. "Um… hi?"
I wasn't expecting them to jump me. I wasn't expecting Draseth and Zeratah to attack me with their flames spells. I barely had time to jump out of the way with Veselle in my arms. She was pretty heavy. That and I'm tired from my morning training. So, when I jumped back with Veselle, I tripped over her body, hitting my head pretty hard when I tripped over her.
Draseth climbed on top of me, pinning me to the ground. "Miraak is always watching." He replied as he pushed me flat. Now, Draseth is physically stronger than me. When I don't have the ability to move my arms… I'm pretty useless. Well, would have been useless. I've been training with Teldryn, my mentor. I know a few new things.
"PAIN!" I focused magicka into my voice, throwing the word out with as much malice as possible. It hit Draseth head on. He went from holding me down to flying off me, grabbing his head in immense pain. I'm not as good as Teldryn, but… it will do.
As soon as I pushed myself up, the other two… no… make that everyone in the village, came running up to me. "SLEEP!" I roared to everyone. And… it worked. Everyone started falling down. Even Gwen and Talvas went down after a second of hesitation.
I rushed up to Veselle. I grabbed onto her arm and just booked it for the training circle. I broke through the first two circles like they were nothing and made it to the center in no time at all. I don't remember which circle it needed to be but as soon as we got to the circle, Veselle made the loudest gasping noise I've ever heard. She clawed at me like she was blind, screaming bloody murder as she tried to catch her breath.
I looked down at her, happy to see that she was at least conscious now. Her chest was rising and falling very quickly. I looked around the town. Everyone was still out. What was going on? "Veselle?" I looked down at her.
She looked pretty groggy, but… she looked conscious. She glanced up at me. "Karliah?"
I shook my head. "No… it's Mirri. Who's Karliah?"
Veselle shook her head. "Sister. Where are we?"
"The training circle. Listen… the whole town's gone crazy. What's going on?" It was a long shot, but Veselle is always in the middle of everything going on around here. She might know what's going on.
"Hermeaus Mora… tried to kill me. He's trying to take over Solstheim." She responded.
"Why?" Why would he want this island anyway?
Veselle shook her head. "I don't know, I just know that he does. Need to find Dad… need to warn him."
"Don't worry…" I heard behind me. I snapped my head around to see Master Neloth and Mistress Ildari standing outside the circle. "we're already aware of the situation."
Mistress Ildari nodded. "And… we have a plan. Stay in the circle for now. Our actions might not be our own."
Master Neloth sneered as he looked over at Mistress Ildari. "I can assure you, my actions are my own. We both have spent a lot of time preparing for these situations. You have lived in the mind of a restless planet and spent your whole time fighting the control of Red Mountain. I have meditated to keep the heart stones from even penetrating my mind while I worked with them. And now… it would seem it is all coming clear. Hermeaus Mora… he is doing something. And now… we have to do something about it."
"So…" I looked at the two masters. "What are we going to do?"
Master Neloth looked at me. "You will remain here and watch Veselle. Ildari and I will begin our research. If anyone wakes up, just walk outside the circle and put them back to sleep."
"And what if whatever got them gets me?" Stronger mages like Gwen and Talvas were on the ground after all. They were going to come after me.
"If you were going to be affected… you wouldn't have dragged Veselle to the circle. You would have likely killed her. Once we knew what was going on, we rushed back to help the village. It appears we were too late." He walked past the circle, Ildari right behind him. "We have little time. We have to find out what it is Hermeaus Mora wants and why Miraak is involved."
So… I guess I'll just sit here with Veselle then? Nothing but the feeling of wind around me. And… and the desire to go to the bathroom. Great… what a great way to start my day.
Cearbhail:
I honestly had NO IDEA where any of this was going. I honestly thought Veselle was about to die right there. But... this is how she gets to her comatose state in the first place. Remember the whole scene where Veselle sees herself lying in her bed, her father claiming that he would go find the Dragonborn. Well... we've begun. Veselle is down for the count... and it's only getting worse from here. Tel Mithryn hasn't even begun its construction yet.
