Hey all! Apologies on the late entry, but I'm in the middle of packing up for a move later this month. However, I'm happy to take a quick break from that and get part 2 of The Haunted Jungle up and running. I'm sure many of you noticed my decision to take away Zilla's lines from the episode he had in the YouTube series. That was very intentional, as I always treated him as sort of a Wile E. Coyote character, and wanted to further that this time around. I also decided to treat him a little nicer too, as I've come to not hate that particular film and character as much since I originally did the episode. Godzilla 1998 was definitely a bad film in my book, but I'm done hating on it. It happened, it's part of the franchise, and fans need to move on. And some fans enjoy it, and that's awesome. At the very least, it did entertain some people, which is what a movie is for, right? Anyway, let's get on with it. Enjoy this chapter


Chapter 6

Into the Jungle

"Hey Heddy," called Destoroyah from his laboratory, various mechanical bits and pieces strewn all around as he worked to build a robot from Space Titanium. "Hand me the screwdriver, will ya?"

"DON'T CALL ME HEDDY!" Hedorah waltzed over from his favorite sludge pool, and grabbed the screwdriver. He angrily tossed it, hitting Destoroyah in the head.

"Boys," announced a cheerful SpaceGodzilla as he walked into the lab. "Great news!"

"You're dying," asked Destoroyah, not even looking up from his work.

"Funny," said SpaceGodzilla with a hiss. "Actually, I've been spying on my brother. He and his little buddy are on their way into the Haunted Jungle."

Destoroyah grinned. "Oooh! That's excellent news indeed! The spooks in the jungle will take care of him for us!"

"No you idiot! This is our perfect chance to corner him! We'll follow him in there, and execute him. Nice and quick. Or, actually, slowly and painfully!"

Hedorah happily jumped up and down. "Oh boy! I've always wanted to go into the Haunted Jungle! I hear they've got natural sludge baths! It's literally the only place in the world with natural pollution!"

Destoroyah swallowed, and shook with dread. "Hey look, uh, why don't you guys go on and take care of Godzilla? I'll just keep working on the new MechaGodzilla."

SpaceGodzilla gave him a look. "You simpleton...do you not get it? Godzilla will be dead. We won't need the robot anymore!"

"Yeah," said Destoroyah, trying to think fast. "But, uh, you know. It would still be good to have it ready, you know, as a Plan B? Just in case?"

Hedorah began to chuckle, and placed a sludgy hand on Destoroyah's shoulder. "I don't believe it! You're scared!"

Destoroyah pushed him away. "Take that back!"

SpaceGodzilla grinned. "It's ok. I understand. Come on, Hedorah. Let's leave him to suck his thumb in private."

Destoroyah shook with rage. "Hey! Destoroyah is afraid of nothing! And...has no thumbs to suck anyway! Come on. Let's go into the Haunted Jungle!" He froze, the fear coming back. "But you guys lead the way, ok?"


The highest mountain on the island was Fog Mountain. Godzilla, being the king, had declared it off limits, as the relentless cloud of fog made it very treacherous to climb. This made it the perfect hideout for King Ghidorah and his goons, and Gigan and Megalon had just flown to its highest peaks, with their newly acquired prisoner.

"Hey boss," called out Gigan. "It's us! We caught him for ya!"

The duo jumped back in fright, as out of the fog stepped their terrifying master. King, the right head, sneered with complete malice and hatred. Ghidorah, the middle head, glared at the duo with an intense evil look. And Kevin, the left head, quietly sang a strange tune in an inaudible voice, as drool oozed from his mouth.

"At long last," said Ghidorah. "You boys have done well, and will be greatly rewarded. After we have our fun that is. Now, to exact our revenge on Godzilla!" The three-headed monster approached the unconscious creature that was tied up in a large net at his feet.

King snaked his head down for a better look, and growled. "Hey, this isn't Godzilla! This is plain old Zilla!"

"What," gasped Ghidorah. He joined his fellow head below, and observed the prey, as did Kevin, who happily began licking Ghidorah's ear, hoping to find some tasty wax. Ghidorah bit Kevin on the snout, and he immediately backed off. Ghidorah then angrily turned his attention to his henchmen. "What is the meaning of this!?"

"Well," said Gigan nervously. "You see, we've both dealt with Godzilla before, and a meeting with him generally means there's a lot of pain involved. So, you know, we thought it would be easier to catch the iguana, here. And we were right! It was so simple!"

"Yeah," said Megalon with a laugh. "We used fish to catch him! And you know what I said? I said, That's a lot of fish!" Megalon cracked up, as Gigan began to blush in total embarrassment.

King and Ghidorah just stared in complete confusion. They then glanced at Kevin, who was snickering, which then turned to chuckling, which then turned to laughter, which then turned to constant hysterical bursts of insane cackling. "THAT'S HILARIOUS," he screamed, and then continued his hysterics.

"So, anyway," said Gigan. "We thought maybe, you guys could, you know, just pretend he's Godzilla? And...well...this sounded so much better when we thought of it, and you know, before you guys were looking at us with that look of death that's making me crap myself right now." He laughed nervously, and swallowed. He glanced at Megalon, who waved at him as if nothing was wrong, then he looked back at their boss. "So, uh, about our payment?"

King laughed. "You hear that, Ghidorah? They want what's coming to them."

Ghidorah smiled. "What a lovely idea." His and King's mouths began to glow yellow, ready to execute his goons. Kevin was busy eating some feces they'd produced earlier.

"Master," called out Goldorat, the general of Ghidorah's Dorat army. "Urgent news!"

"Buzz off," said King. "Can't you see we're about to execute these fools?"

"Who's he talking about," asked Megalon.

"But my lords," said Goldorat. "It's about Godzilla!"

Ghidorah looked. "What is it?"

"News is spreading throughout the island, that Godzilla is going into the Haunted Jungle."

"The heck would he go in there for," asked Ghidorah.

"Never mind," said King. "I just got an idea."

"I got a rash," said Kevin.

King looked over at Gigan and Megalon. "I got a job for you two. You can avoid being executed, if you go into the Haunted Jungle, and track Godzilla down...and bring him back alive!"

"Alive," gasped Gigan. "But that's impossible!"

"We want him alive," insisted Ghidorah. "I want to personally see him suffer for all he's done to us!"

"I'm not feeling well," said Kevin, beginning to turn green.

"I have an idea," said Gigan. "Why not go in yourselves, and deal with him first hand? It will be much easier!"

"Good suggestion," said King. "We'll do that right after we execute you."

"Wait no! Uh, I meant to say, we'd love to go into the Haunted Jungle!"

"That's what I thought you said," said Ghidorah.

"Come on Megalon," said Gigan. "We gotta get to that Haunted Jungle."

"Haunted," gasped Megalon, finally grasping what was happening. "Oh no!"

Ghidorah sneered, as he watched them go. "Good thinking, King. We'll likely kill two Gyaos with one stone here. We'll be rid of those fools, and Godzilla as well. Then the Earth is ours to destroy! Kevin, why can't you ever come up with anything useful?" He turned to look at Kevin, right as Kevin unleashed a geyser of vomit in his direction.


Godzilla and Anguirus were walking through the Haunted Jungle, looking around as they were surrounded by darkness, and strange sounds. Godzilla laughed. "This isn't so bad. Right Angy?"

"Goji," whimpered Anguirus. "My corns hurt!"

"Ah, you and your corns."

"But, you see, my corns always hurt when they're near a monster!"

Godzilla rolled his eyes. "Anguirus, you are a monster..."

Anguirus thought about this. "Oh yeah. I guess that would explain why they always hurt, huh?"


"This isn't so bad," said SpaceGodzilla, looking around. "Haunted Jungle indeed. Heh."

A sound from somewhere nearby made Destoroyah jump. "What was that!?"

"Calm down," said Hedorah, pushing him further along. "It was just a twig snapping!"

"Yeah, but what snapped it!? Can't we just go home?"

"No," said SpaceGodzilla. "We keep on until we find and kill Godzilla."

"Who says?"

"I says!" SpaceGodzilla turned around and got right in Destoroyah's face. "And if you don't like it, you can find your way out of here, yourself!"

"Ok, ok! Just please don't leave me," begged Destoroyah, getting on his knees.

SpaceGodzilla couldn't believe what he was seeing, and sarcastically asked, "Would you like me to hold your hand?"

"Yeah, would you?"

SpaceGodzilla shook his head, and continued on. "You're pathetic."

"Hey guys, look," yelled Hedorah. "One of those natural sludge baths! He leaped in, and relaxed. "So soothing."

The other two watched impatiently. "Hedorah, we don't have time for this," said SpaceGodzilla.

"Yeah, Heddy. What if a ghost comes?"

SpaceGodzilla glared. "Destoroyah, will you quit being stupid? There's no such thing as ghosts!"

Suddenly, a white figure manifested in between them. "BOO! I'M A GHOST!"

The three monsters all screamed, and took off running, deeper into the jungle.


"Gigan," whined Megalon. "It's scary, and stuff!"

"Will, you shut up," asked Gigan. "I'm trying to concentrate."

Suddenly, Megalon, heard laughter behind him. "What was that," asked, looking around. He then spotted a strange figure watching him. "Gigan! There's a hippie behind that tree!"

Gigan turned to look, but saw nothing. "You fool! Come on!" Gigan walked on, but Megalon stood, shaking in fear. Suddenly, the Kaiju sized hippie came rushing out, and shoved a large corncob in Megalon's face. Megalon screeched in terror, and went running after his best friend.

The hippie watched him in confusion, then laughed as he looked at his corncob. "He must've thought it was a gun."