Cearbhail:
I'm not going to lie... this took me a long time to tackle. You'll know why.
...
Oh, and enjoy =^^=
Dear book of shadows.
I've had a long day. I recently woke up from a bad nightmare world, one where I dated my Khajiit friend, Ruby, and then experienced the horrifying reality that is world-wide destructive viruses that wipe out all of mortality. And of course it ended with me killing myself after killing everyone else I ever knew… ever loved.
I'm sorry, I know for this journal… this book of shadows, it's maybe been… a few days. A week? When was the last entry? The 26th of Sun's Dusk? Really? It's what… Okay, I just asked the High King of Skyrim, he tells me it's the 16th of Evening Star. So… how long is that? Well, close to 20 days. I was comatose for 20 days? No wonder it felt like years in that other world. Explains why my body is so… stiff. I spent all yesterday with the High King, playing stupid games in my room. He told me it was 'training', but… I remember doing something similar for Agni when she first joined our guild… right after her village was burned the ground. Hmm… something else I'll have to fix… another memory I'll have to keep around.
Well… in case I decide to have my mind wiped… Agni, she's a Nord girl living up in Morthal. She joined our guild when she was 14. Her village was set upon by vampires well… two years from now, I believe. I was 17 when it happened so… that sounds about right. Ruby's daughter was about 2 years old by then… so… that means I still have plenty of time to get to Morthal and help her out. I don't know the exact date, but it happens somewhere in 4e 210, in Evening Star I believe. But anyway, her village will be attacked by a vampire lord, her father Falion and her mother Illia will die in the battle, and she will barely be able to make it out of the burning village and make her way to the guildhall. If I'm there, even camping out… I will be able to help her before it gets crazy.
Anyway, it's recorded, just in case I ever forget. And I'm sorry, journal, I know it's been a while… but I'm kind of wrapping my mind around these stupid thoughts bouncing around in my head. Anyway, I realize now that the High King wasn't really worried about me getting a training session in. He just wanted to get my mind off of the past for a day to rest. We had a pretty fun day, to be honest. I got him in a dress, got him in pillow fight… got my ass owned in the process… and then we had a fun lunch. It broke into a food fight… ruined that dress I let him wear. We went for a nice swim to wash the food off us. And while we were goofing off, the rest of the Telvanni mages were up in the tower, researching black books and word walls for the High King. While we partied, they did research. And it came up with some promising results. There are word walls where I've been. The lost chamber of Vahlok has a word wall inside it. And I know that the mine in Raven Rock also has a word wall there as well. And since we're also looking for the Maker's Stone We have no way of knowing what the Shout words are, if there are any at all, but the High King will be going today to learn them. So, since the High King wants to cleans the stones and collect words of power, we're heading for Raven Rock first. We'll cleans the rock outside the town, free the residents living there from the spell, and then we'll go mine crawling where Talvas and I shared our first kiss …
To make matters more confusing for me… there's only four of us going: me, the High King, Breylna, and Mirri. The four of us are going to these rock sites to cleanse them. This is my bonding time with the High King… Breylna really wants to come too… as does Mirri. …
I'm not sure how I feel about that. Excited, maybe? I don't… I don't really know. I just sighed/groaned thinking about it. Mirri… she just confessed to me yesterday… and… well… she's cute. Really cute. If I was a few 22 years of memories younger… I'd probably be really goofy around her. Not really subtle about it either. I might have even kissed her… or let her kiss me? I don't really know. And yet… I don't… I can only picture Ruby's face. I don't… I don't want to rebound. I don't want to cheat on Mirri… or Ruby… or Seth… well, Seth I broke up with. All the same though. I don't want to be around her right now.
Got to go.
…
I sighed as I packed my bag. I took a mental tally of how many black books we acquired. There was the one that dad already had here in Tel Mirhryn, one that I recovered from the mine crawl with Talvis, the one from Nchardak. The tome we read suggested that there were 7 black books total on this island. We recovered 3 of them. We already have the one we supposedly need from Nchardak. The Dragonborn wanted to take a look at some of the Word Walls we had discovered in our research, just in case he could learn more powerful Shouts than before. He wants every edge he can get before he sets off to the Skaal village with the tome in hand. From what I gathered, he had his chat with Hermy Mora. The rapist tentacle monster wants nothing more than for the High King to bring the book to the Skaal village and let the elder read the book, all so that the god of knowledge can obtain some secret thing… whatever that is.
So, that's our end game. We already have what we need to save Solstheim. The only thing we need to do before that is rid the island of Mirrak's influence, to make him as weak as possible. Sounds reasonable. Once we get these stones cleansed, we'll meet back here. Dad and the others are hitting up the other sites where black books have been recorded existing. If we're going to do this, we're going to do whatever we can to finish this.
I closed my eyes in thought as I checked my bag one last time. I had a blanket, a thermos, some apples, two changes of clothes… one of which is a cute outfit in case I actually start feeling like flirting with Mirri. My cheeks were actually beginning to blush. I… I never imagined she'd like me.
I shook the thought from my mind as I stood up. Shut up, Veselle. You don't do this cutesy stuff anymore. You're an adult… you don't get slightly flustered at your friends flirting with you. If you like them… you normally just… well… Mirri would have been at the sleepover last night… and the High King wouldn't have been.
I took one last look at my room. It's weird… just how much I missed this room, and how much validation came from coming back into this room… taking a nap and waking up in Ruby's old bed. It really seemed like I was actually freed from the nightmare world I escaped. This was reality. No amount of nightmares could take this place away from me.
I reached for the door handle, looking behind me to my faithful companion: Kyuu. My little nine-tailed white-furred fox plushy-looking bound ally. "You ready?"
Kyuu nodded. "You got my apples?"
I smiled. "Of course I do. Come on, you little apple muncher."
"Veselle…" Kyuu glanced up at me with his beady blue eyes. "I want to talk to you… about my previous master."
"The necromancer, right?" I turned away from the door. "What about her?"
"When you burned Seth… you… you snapped at me. And… you scared me. You've changed a lot since I last saw you. You reminded me… of her. A lot of her. She used to scream at me like that. I just wanted to tell you… you're really scaring me. I don't want to lose you like I lost her."
I felt tears coming up in my eyes as bent down to see Kyuu at eye level. "Kyuu… I'm sorry. What I went through… it's taken a toll on me. I've… I've seen a lot of bad things. I'm sure you understand a little of what I went through. At the same time… I was in a hurry. Seth's hands were almost bone… and that must have been really painful for him to go through. We didn't have time to waste… not if it meant saving Seth… fixing my mistake. But, you're right. I didn't have to snap at you. I am sorry for that. I'm trying to… I'm trying to keep my shit together. Just yesterday… I was standing on a scorched remains of Winterhold… everyone I ever knew or loved killed by me. And I was about to march myself up to Red Mountain… to throw myself down the shaft… and blow up the volcano with me. To end the threat of corprus once and for all. And then… suddenly I'm awake, being snatched up by my father and taken to the rapist tentacle monster so that he could probe my body for signs of corprus. I had no time to come to terms with what happened, no idea if I was dreaming again. And to make it weird… again… I ended up passing out and woke up to a young Seth, a boy I almost completely forgot existed, kissing me. I mean… yeah, I let him do it, but… at the same time… I was lost, confused, still processing my existence. And ever since then… I haven't really had time to do any of the necessary therapy to get my head screwed back on."
Kyuu's ears folded back. "I'm sorry, Vessy. I shouldn't have…"
I reached down, picking up the small fox, and hugged him close to me. "Kyuu… you're my friend. You always will be. We're allies. Nothing will change that. I'm just… I need a long rest to come to terms with what's happened to me. And at the same time, I have to come to terms that… a lot of stuff locked up in my brain might actually come to pass if I let my guard down. I have a lot of friends that may or may not exist. And I need to remember which parts are necessary to keep… to write down for me to read later. If these memories fade… my friends could die… a second time. And I don't want that. But you… there's nothing you need to worry about. I'll always be there for you. And I'm sure you'll always be here for me."
Kyuu's ears perked up. "Yeah…" His voice squeaked to me. "Best friends forever."
I squeezed Kyuu to my chest. "Yup. BFFs."
I set Kyuu on my shoulder as I turned for the door. "Ready, partner?" I glanced up at him on my right shoulder.
Kyuu nodded. "Yes, ma'am."
I turned the handle, expecting to see Mirri ready to ambush me. It wasn't her waiting for me. It was my sister Brelyna.
"Good morning, Veselle. Are you ready to go?" She smile down to me.
I nodded. "All packed. Is the High King ready?"
Brelyna nodded. "I made sure he stayed focused. I didn't really have to do anything though. He is uncharacteristically focused today. I think he wants to get this over with quickly. Miraak really has him worried. I even had time to pack my own bag. So, ready to get going?"
I checked around my house. I didn't see Mirri or the High King anywhere. "Where are the other two?"
"Above you." Brelyna replied, a smile forming on her face.
I glanced up, a little too slowly, because it was already falling on my face. A cream pie. It hit me perfectly, exploding cream all around me.
I groaned as I pulled the pan off my face, wiping the cream off with my free hand. "I just decided on what to wear." I spat some banana cream off my lips as I spoke.
Brelyna was laughing lightly to herself as she backed away from me. "I'm sorry, sis… I couldn't keep my face composed for much longer. I had to get it out of my system."
"You pranked me?" I said, tossing the pie tin onto the ground. "Why?"
She wiped a tear from her eye. "You've been… troubled. I thought a small prank would lift the mood."
"Then invite me to prank someone else!" I started wiping cream off my shoulder. Kyuu was covered with pie. He was already on the ground shaking his fur clean. I reached up to my hair, feeling the mess in my hair. "Yuck… it's all over me."
Brelyna laughed even harder, snorting as she did so. I reached up, covering her nose as she doubled over. "This was not funny, Brel."
"Is really was…" She said through her tears. "The look on your face as you wiped the cream out of your eyes… and then you spat it out. It was priceless."
"You do realize I have to take a shower now… right? We're on a time crunch."
"Right…" Brelyna said. "Need some help?"
"No… don't you…" A river of water suddenly materialized over top of me. Brelyna doused me with magick water sprouting from a bucket. I had time to glance down, seeing a water rune drawn outside my doorway.
"You… you devious…" I flicked my soaked sleeves. "You set up this whole…"
"Ready to go?" Mirri suddenly asked as she walked up to us. She took a single look at me, looking me up and down. "Well, Veselle. I normally shower with my clothes off. It's a cute look though." Mirri's cheeks began to flush. "Too bad you don't have any pie on your face. You can have mine if you like."
I glared up at my sister. "See what you did? Now Mirri's hot for me." My boots sloshed as I spread my feet apart.
It was a good thing I learned to do this as a child. I fed fire magicka around me, making it just warm enough that my clothes dried. My clothes were all enchanted to be protected against fire, frost, and lightning magicka. As such, it was easy to dry my clothes by evaporating the water clinging to them. One quick burst of fire magicka, and my clothes, not to mention hair, were dry.
Brelyna watched as I dried myself. "And… you made yourself hot?"
"Shut up." I sighed. "Anyway, I'm ready to go. Kyuu?" I glanced down at my familiar, who was busy licking pie off his fur. "Do… do you need a bath?"
Kyuu smiled up at me. "No, I'm good. Hey, Brelly. Do you have any more of that pie?"
Brelyna shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't. It was my last one from the Jester Day Massacre. I was saving it for a very special moment."
I glanced back at up her. "And what special moment was that? The moment I was at my most vulnerable?"
Brelyna rushed up to me, wrapping me up in a hug. "For our first mission together. I get to hang out with my baby sister. Why wouldn't I take the chance to prank her in the process? And in front of her girlfriend? Even better." Brelyna glanced over to Mirri. "Did you enjoy seeing her coverd in pie?"
Mirri glanced away. "It was amusing. The water rune was funnier, I believe."
Brelyna rolled her eyes. "Okay, you lovebirds. Let's find Asger and get moving."
"The High King is at the barrier waiting for us." Mirri announced. "You lead the way. I'll stay back here with Veselle."
Brelyna shrugged. "I guess that's fine. I'll try to keep my eyes away from you two. If I hear happy moaning I'm leaving the party."
"Not happening." I crossed my arms.
Mirri shrugged with one shoulder. "Might happen."
"Not until we're done saving Solstheim it's not." I replied.
"I'm good at multitasking." Mirri said with a small smile.
"You're not helping!" I screamed. "I just want to get this over with, sit down on my bed, cover my face with a pillow… take a deep breath… and remind myself of why my life sucks."
Mirri glanced away. "I guess you'd rather be with that Khajiit than take a chance on me then?"
Brelyna turned on her heel, pointing to the exit of the town. "I'll… I'll be over here. You two… I think you need to have a moment."
I was stuck alone with Mirri. Well, Kyuu was here, but he was busy licking his fur. "Look, Mirri... I'm sorry. That came out wrong. But… if you recall, I didn't say I was dating you."
"I understand that." She replied with a nod. "You want to wait until we're done with our mission… and normally, that would be the thing that I would say. And even then, you have feelings for that Ruby girl."
"Our two-year relationship ended just 11 days ago. I knew her for 20 years… at least. Mirri, I haven't seen you in that same length of time. Hell, I barely remember what made us friends to begin with."
Mirri glanced away. "So… you don't know me anymore?"
I nodded. "Not really. But… if I decide to have my memories erased… my older ones will resurface… and… I think we can pick up where we stop today. You shouldn't think of me as Veselle, your best friend. You should think of me as an alternate reality Veselle. Because that's who I am right now. I'm a totally different person. You like me… and trust me… if I return to my previous save file… I'll like you right back. I might be a little flustered though. Really flustered. When Ruby first kissed me…"
Mirri looked away. "I don't want to hear this."
"You should." I replied. "You're going to try to win me over, right? If I set my mind right… everything that I am right now… might be suddenly taken away. This conversation… gone. Everything. And I'll believe I'm still in a relationship with Seth. So, even then, you'll have your work cut out for you. But… even though I'll be pretty flustered, I'm thinking telling me that you're attracted to me is the best start. I'll probably protest, saying I'm dating Seth, blah, blah, blah… but and here's the important part."
I pulled Mirri in close. Her face was blushing at the thought that I was about to kiss her. "Even before I left… I was getting tired of being near Seth. He's boring. So… instead of confessing to me… take me out on a discreet date. Like, take me to Raven Rock… or ask me for a sparring match. And then… after we have a good fight or some fun in Raven Rock, ask me if I'm getting tired of dating Seth. And if I tell you the truth… that's when you… you know…" I kissed Mirri on the cheek. "Just like that. And tell me that you like me. It will be that simple… probably."
Mirri nodded. "I think I understand. Thank you, Veselle."
"Cute nickname would get you some points too."
"Ellie?" Mirri asked.
I shook my head. "Me? I'm fine with that. Sounds too grown up for young me though. Vess, Vessy… those work best for me."
Mirri narrowed her eyes. "Why are you helping me if you aren't planning on getting your mind wiped?"
I smiled. "I already have my solution. I worked it out as I was talking to you." I kissed Mirri on the cheek again. "I really hope my younger self accepts you. I struggled really hard with accepting feelings for Ruby. And she was my best friend for years before she kissed me the first time."
I almost felt tears forming in my eyes. "Wow…" I actually had my answer. I'm an alternate reality Veselle… trapped in the body of the real Veselle. "I'm going to kill myself."
Mirri's eyes hardened. "What?"
I shook my head. "Not what I meant. I mean… me… this me. The me that is talking to you. I'm going to die… when my memory's wiped. I'll join my friends… in our afterlife. I shouldn't have been allowed to live while they all were killed by me. So… I have one last person I need to kill. Me." I felt tears rolling down my cheek. "I'm the last one… the sole survivor… the mass murderer. I shouldn't be alive. I need to join my Ruby… and Veselle… you geeky little friend… she needs to learn what it is to be alive… with someone who actually gets her." I kissed Mirri on the forehead. "I wish you luck. Now… let's go save the world."
Mirri watched as started to go. And then she quickly ran up to join me. "Veselle… are you certain…"
"I am, Mirri."
"You can't just…"
"I can, and I am."
"But everything you've gone through… Everything you learned."
"I have it figured out." I smiled. "Don't worry, Mirri. It's not like I'm going anywhere. I'm just… being reset to my original functionality." I forced a small smile. "And if Dad is to be believed… it's not the first time he's done this."
Mirri sighed as she walked alongside me. "I… I don't want you to change."
I glanced back at her. "Mirri… that's the problem. I have changed. Like I said… I'm not Veselle, your best friend. I'm an alternate Veselle right now. My memories of you… of whatever we did as friends, are so gone, pushed aside for memories of me in the Crimson Blades that… right now… I can't remember much about you. I had to read my book of shadows last night just to conjure up any memories of you. It's… I don't… I don't like feeling like an outsider… intruding on another's life. But right now… I'm strong. I'm crazy strong. Even if this body has a fraction of my true potential hidden inside it… I can actually do a lot of good right now. And I can't be that if I wipe my mind. So… I'm staying behind to see this to the end, as I promised. But afterwards… after I get my mind wiped… I'll be back to being your friend Veselle. The real Veselle. And if you want to get to me before Seth… then you'll have to be there when I get my mind wiped. You'll need to be there while I get my mind put back together. It won't be easy to watch. It'll probably be like watching me die. It'll hurt."
"Veselle. I am an outsider." Mirri replied.
That comment made me come to a stop. "Explain?"
"I was raised to be an assassin. I was brought up to push everyone out of my life. You interfered with that programming. You helped me realize I'm a living person… not a living weapon. Not a disposable asset for House Hlaalu. But even then… you weren't like me. You were too innocent."
I snorted. "Me? Innocent?"
Mirri nodded. "Perhaps not as much as that… but you weren't a hardened killer."
I shook my head. "No, I guess not. I killed draugr…"
"Simple monsters…" Mirri replied. "But… you weren't raised from birth to kill political opponents… and then expect to die for doing so." Mirri reached out, taking my arm in her hand. "And you, Veselle… you helped me escape that life. You helped me escape my father… my mother. When my father almost killed me… you picked me up. You helped me recover from my grief. You never gave up on me. And right now… you've lived a similar life to my own. You understand me. And right now… you're hurting. I understand that feeling. I understand that darkness. So… please… don't say you're going to just give up and die. I didn't… neither should you. You and I weren't raised to be quitters."
I shook my head. "No… we weren't raised for that…" Mirri did have some points. Perhaps I've been thinking too much about my side of life and not as much hers. Stupid teenager girl… never realized that my friends had more going on than I realized.
I found myself laughing as I reached down, placing my forehead on my hand. I rubbed my eyes as I continued to chuckled. "I'm such a fucking idiot somedays." I looked back at her. "Mirri… I had no idea. I mean… I probably thought about it… but to actually get it… to actually make that connection in my mind. I never realized how much that would mean to you. And… I'm sorry… Gods… I've been saying that a lot these past few days."
Mirri backed off a bit. "Veselle… I'm sorry too. I've… I've been unfair. You're in pain… I get that. And I'm not helping you by confusing you."
"Confusing me?" I almost broke out in a confused laugh. Instead, I snorted, bending over to lose control over my lungs as I screamed. It threw Mirri back in a confused protective stance, as if I was about to attack her.
Instead I managed to collect myself. "Sorry… that was a laugh that got a little too painful for me to hold in." I looked back up at Mirri. "Mirri… I'm not confused. I knew from the moment you were at my door that you had feelings for me. You had the same face I had when I confronted Ruby about her kissing me. You haven't confused me one bit. You've… what's the word." I tapped my chin. "You've picked a bad time to confess to me. I'm not confused, oblivion, you've been rather straightforward. But I'm guessing you mean confusing me in a different manner. You probably think that I'm busy trying to juggle thoughts of having a relationship with you and my decision to get my mind wiped."
"I meant… you dating Ruby." Mirri glanced down.
I waved that thought away. "I loved Ruby… I won't say that I don't love her. I won't say that I love you more or less than her. Like I said… I don't even really remember you. Which is why… once my mind is wiped… you'll get a fresh start with someone who actually…"
"Gets me?" Mirri's voice hardened. "You don't get it… do you?" She clamped her hands onto my arms. "The way you talked to Seth… about him… is how I thought of you." She almost sounded angry. "Me… a grown up stuck in a body of a child… forced to mature too quickly. I… I almost killed you." She glared daggers at me. "That day… at the dojo… I had a split second to make a decision… whether to kill you… my first and only friend… or spare your life. Defy my duty… or honor my family. And those eyes of yours… those innocent eyes, scared of what would happen to you… sure of your incoming death… I couldn't kill a bunny rabbit such as yourself."
Wow… that was a harsh comparison.
Mirri shook me harder. "Don't you get it, Veselle? You… as you are right now… we're equals. I was afraid that Veselle would be too immature for me. I wanted to take that chance though. But you… you understand me as I am… right now. You're still my Veselle… still my friend. You just have more experience now. You have more empathy now. You know that I've lived through… what I had to put myself through. And I… I feel like I'm closer to you than I've ever been before. We… understand each other now."
I sighed as I reached up, taking Mirri's hands in mine. She was crying now, tears rolling down her cheeks. I felt tears beginning to well up too. "I… I understand, Mirri. How about… I find a different solution then?"
"Like what?" She asked, her voice cracked. "I don't want to lose you."
Mirri, for all of her faults… she was still pretty young. This was more about her losing me than me getting the help I needed. The resolution I needed. I still needed to die… to free me from this curse of living a false life. But… I get what Mirri's getting at.
"What if… I take away most of my memories… but keep the ones that help me maintain our… level of understanding. Some amount of experience that will allow me to empathize with you better. I'll still be me… but with some of the less important memories flooding my brain… remembering our time together as children might be easier for me to recall. The other world might feel more like a dream, like no time had passed at all." I found a small sad smile forming on my lips. I was really going to go through with this. I was effectively going to kill myself. Wow… it's a sullen thought.
Mirri collapsed onto her knees, fully crying into her hands. "Veselle… please don't vanish on me."
I bent down, placing my hand on her shoulder. "Mirri… If I don't do this… I'll vanish anyway." I reached down, picking her chin up so that she would look at me. "Please listen to me… I'm not going anywhere. I'll see to it that this… who I am… remains. You were right… I'm not a quitter… but at the same time, these images in my mind." I tapped my head. "They're…" I came to a stop.
I sighed as I stood up. "Mirri. You understand better than anyone right now. I can't continue like this. Right now… I'm you… trapped in the bed. I just killed my family. I literally just woke up from doing that. I'm in grief. And… that past… is who I am. I'm not the same person I was when I left. I'm sounding like a broken record right now… both of us are… but here's the cut and dry version. You said I pulled you up, helped you through your grief. I need to escape mine. So… when I do this… because I will do this… I will have selective memories… confusion… I don't know… but I will remember bits and pieces of my previous life… and I will be lost, in pain probably. I will need a friend to help me stand up and go back to being who I am. Are you going to be that friend, Mirri?"
Mirri continued to sit there, looking at the ground. It took her a few seconds before she stood up, brushing off her knees. "I guess I can't talk you out of it. So… yes. I will be there for you… the you that remains… you."
That brought a smile to my face. "I know this is hard, Mirri. But you'll see… I won't be gone… I'll just be less…" Depressed, anxiety driven, suicidal, stuck in love with a Khajiit girl I will never have a chance with. "Stuck in the future. And more connected to this timeline."
Mirri tried to force a smile. "Then… I will try my best to remember you for who you are now."
"Take it from me… don't let yourself fawn over someone who doesn't exist." I felt my heart break as I said it. "Even if you think I'm real… I'm just a figment of this selective reality." I forced a small smile. "I'm a fake Veselle… even if I seem perfect… I don't belong here. Not yet." I winked at Mirri. "But… if you really love me… and you seemed to even before comparing my new life with yours… you clearly had feelings for me even before I spent 22 years on a distant alternate reality vacation getaway. If you really love me… one day… I'll turn into this. I guarantee it." So will Seth. Huh…
I found myself laughing. I reached up, grabbing the bridge of my nose. "This is so fucked up."
Mirri nodded. "I think I understand."
I nodded. "You probably do better than anyone else… except my parents anyway." This must be what Mom feels like half the time. She was sealed away by the heart stone. It must have been very jarring for her to combat that mindset of hers. And for her to come to terms that half of her life was suddenly gone… and that I was suddenly a young lady. I never actually stopped to wonder how that must have affected her. And Dad had the same problem I'm having now… new memories that didn't belong in his mind. But then again, he probably knew to expect those memories. And he's lived through all of mine, even my current ones. I wonder how he deals with all these memories of his. Maybe he'll have a better solution? I could always ask.
I glanced over to Brelyna and the High King. They were both watching the two of us talk. "Mirri, we catch up with our team. I think we're starting to annoy them."
Mirri nodded. "I'm ready to go now. I'm sorry, Veselle. For how I've been acting."
I grabbed Mirri around her shoulder, pulling her in for a shoulder hug. "Hey… what are possibly future girlfriends for."
Cearbhail:
So, this has been a long time coming. I still don't know how this story will end... but I'm very sure, almost concrete that Veselle x Mirri will be how this ends. And yeah... I already made up my mind on what Veselle is going to do to her mind. I was going to let it be a surprise, but I've always known. When I wrote the chapters that dealt with her time in the other world... those are what she chose to remember. There, I said it. It's out in the open. And going on the same path... this entire story, excluding scenes that aren't hers, all all her memories. Her perspective. Did she go further with Talvas? Maybe. Is that what she remembers? Absolutely not. Her father might have been letting her know that she and Talvas were a thing for a while, and neither of them remember it. I'm kidding... well about the Talvas x Veselle thing. Her father didn't care enough about her at the time to remove her memories. But he did like wiping Talvas' mind. he felt it kept the boy busy with work that actually mattered.
Anyway, there might be a lot of grammatical mistakes in this chapter. My old document decided to erase my dictionary of all the added words, like names, from my computer. So... I opened my doc and it said this: "Because of the massive amount of bullshit words, we're not highlighting any mistakes from here on out. M'kay?" Okay... maybe not exactly like that, but you get it. So, as I was writing, nothing was lighting up. So, if there is a mistake, that's because I couldn't see me making it. Just point it out for me and I'll go back and fix it. Maybe a second read will help. Anyway, we're getting pretty close to the end. Maybe 7 chapters? I hope so.
