A/N: I'm sure a lot of you want to know why Kagome didn't just take Inuyasha with her and I do have an explanation for that. The old Inuyasha ran through rooms naked, annoys Kagome when she tries to study, and startles easily.
From personal experience kids tend to be extremely curious about new things and so it would just be more trouble than help if he came along. This is what I had Kagome thinking.
Kagome was very disappointed riding back on Kirara. The trip to her time was more trouble than it was worth. She had found out virtually nothing that she didn't already know about their current situation.
The only thing she really learned was that he might snap out of it on his own but the chances of that were slim. The only other option would be deep and immense therapy. Some how Kagome didn't think that one would go over too well but she'd talk it over with Sango and Miroku later. Hopefully Inuyasha was okay once she left.
"I thought you wouldn't leave! I thought I could trust you!"
Those words echoed through her mind as Kagome was being carried back to where the rest of the group was. She closed her eyes in an attempt to block out the words that rang clearly over and over again. Almost immediately her eyes flew open. The image of his face as she left was forever burned in her memory.
The anger. The pain. The panic. They were all there and they were directed at her. Those emotions were there because of her.
Suddenly she couldn't get back to the group fast enough. She needed to show Inuyasha that she hadn't abandoned him. That she was right here and wasn't going anywhere. She had really messed this one up.
Kagome didn't wait for Kirara to finish landing before hopping off her back. She rushed to where the group was sitting and franticly looked about for her companion. When she didn't find him her panic spiked slightly. "Where's Inuyasha?"
The three looked up from where they were sitting, noticing that their friend was finally back. They all looked distressed and disheveled. Sango was the fist to speak up. "We couldn't stop him. You know how strong he is and once he broke loose his speed-"
"He ran away and Kirara was with you. We couldn't catch up. We searched for hours and only stopped because we knew you would be coming back soon. If you came back and we we're all miss-" Miroku tried to finish what Sango had started.
Kagome didn't stick around to listen to the rest. Before anyone could stop her, she was running into the nearby woods. Not hearing the calls of her friends she sped through, not knowing where she was going. All she knew was that Inuyasha was missing and it was all her fault.
Running through those woods brought back a memory that she had almost forgotten. When she was twelve and Sota was eight she had taken him to a park that was near their house. He was playing on the soccer field while she was sitting on a bench finishing up some homework. After a while she noticed that there wasn't the rhythmic thumps of Sota kicking his soccer ball. Looking up Kagome was surprised to find he wasn't there.
She put her books aside and stood up. "Sota?"
When he didn't answer she got mad and started walking around. "Sota! Come on out! This isn't funny!"
After a couple of minuets and still no response Kagome started running. She circled the park calling his name. She tried to push down the wave of panic she felt. Finally she called out his full name in desperation. "Sota Kenji Higurashi! You answer me right now!"
Still no answer. Her plea echoed as she ran home, her throat tight and eyes burning. Leaving behind everything she had brought with her. Once at home she found Sota in the kitchen, he decided that he and wanted to go home and left without saying anything. Kagome had broken down right there. With her back against the wall she slide down until she was sitting. Letting loose the panic she had felt and the relief of finding him.
That desperation was back with a vengeance. Inuyasha had been missing and she wasn't there. Kagome yelled out his name just like she had with her brother so many years ago. She ran for what must have been hours but she didn't feel tired. The adrenaline was keeping her on standing and as long as she could stand she could look.
"Inuyasha! Damn it, answer me!" Her voice was hoarse and her legs were finally getting ready to give out. The only thing keeping her up was the tree she was leaning her weight on. Her throat was tightwith barely contained sobs. With all the control she could muster she yelled out, "I'm sorry! Are you happy now? I'm… s…sor..."
Kagome trailed off as collapsed on her bottom. Pulling her knees she wrapped her arms around her legs. She buried her head as her hair formed a curtain and cried.
--I have recently felt the panic of losing someone. I had taken my brother to the park and while I shot hoops he was riding around. When I hadn't heard from him I went looking. At first I was mildly annoyed but as the minuets ticked by he still wasn't found. I dropped everything and started running, yelling his full name. Turned out he had gone home. I was so relieved. Trust me when I write how Kagome reacts. --
You want to scream, you want to cry.
You want someone to tell you why;
All the hope that's in your heart is not enough.
You hit your knees, you shake your fists,
Oh, it's the deepest wound there is,
When you can't help the one you love.
- You Can't Help theOne you Love: Terri Clark
