First off, thank you so much to wintermoon7, Ghostwriter71, Guest, magicbustrip, souverian, lucefatale, Onyxwritter, and Love. Fiction. 2020 for your reviews - can't tell you how much they eased my mind after posting - hope you enjoy this one...
IMPORTANT: There's some very T-rated stuff in this chapter, and it will continue occasionally through the books (though I haven't decided yet if it'll be as T-rated - I might gloss over it depending on whether people are uncomfortable with it or not)... That being said, this story isn't going to become M-rated, so I'm thinking of adding a collection of 'continuation' chapters in a separate companion fic... I'll leave it up to you all.
I'm not going to lie to you, I had to take a couple of breaks because I kept tearing up in the middle. For all you Carlisle and Carys soft moment lovers, read it slowly from the first line break to the second - I promise it's worth doing.
Chapter 14
Carys walked to work that Wednesday. She needed the fresh air to cool her still somehow heated skin, to rid herself of the blush that splashing her face liberally with cold water hadn't managed to cure.
It wasn't the first dream she'd had of him. Wasn't the worst fantasy her subconscious had concocted to torture her, but... It was the most realistic one...
It was the first one that had felt so real - so...
Carlisle hadn't been human, as she'd dreamt before. He hadn't been some mirage, some false image of himself that fell short of his perfection...
He'd been himself. Familiar. Controlled even in the grip of their desire for one another as he had been during some of their more eager embraces.
It had made her think back over their previous exchanges, their more recent moments together.
It had made her realise that for all she'd suggested they progress their relationship naturally - that they addressed things as they happened - as much as Carlisle had agreed, perhaps she needed to make sure he knew the next step was something she was truly comfortable with. Something she wanted.
Though, after the night before, perhaps needed was a better word. Craved.
She didn't bring it up to him over lunch. She wouldn't have even if he hadn't been called away so quickly. It was a far more private conversation than one she'd have at work.
He had told her to expect him late, making yet another an unneeded promise to explain why he'd not spent the night at hers.
Carys' reassurance that she understood his being unable to visit on the sunnier days in case anyone saw him when he was supposed to be camping, and that she really didn't mind his absence the night before either, had once again fallen on deaf ears.
For all she'd grown sure of herself and rehearsed what she would say as the day progressed, seeing him that night instantly banished the thoughts from her mind.
Time slowed as she opened the door and he stepped through.
Every sense she possessed seemed heightened and muted at once, her emotions fighting sluggishly for dominance as he slowly closed the door behind him.
This, too, was something they hadn't shared at lunch - it was private again, theirs alone. Something she'd not known she'd been hiding from herself.
Their arms came about each other instinctively, their embrace a balm to nerves she hadn't realised had been so frayed. She hadn't realised until she saw him just then, when they were alone, just how desperately she'd missed him.
They didn't need to say the words - it was a silent understanding between them as they stood with their eyes closed, their arms wrapped around each other - the ticking of the clock on the mantlepiece, Carys' slow, steady heartbeat, and their breathing the only sounds in the room.
Carys was the first to move, lifting her head from his shoulder after long minutes to lightly nuzzle her cheek against his, and though he returned the caress, it was longer still before either of them made a sound.
More was spoken in that silent embrace - more was promised, than they could put words to. It felt as if some piece of her soul had been missing, and it had just been returned to her.
"I dreamed of you last night, my love," she finally whispered as he began to sway slowly from side to side, holding her as if she were as infinitely precious to him as he was to her.
"And I of you," he replied softly, sighing as he gathered her closer, his hands stroking slowly, gently, along the length of her spine. It was an action that usually would have made her breath stutter but instead eased her muscles, soothed her more with every sweeping caress.
She pulled back a little to gaze up into his half-closed eyes as she slid her hand over his shoulder and neck, palming his cheek. She knew what he'd meant - that he'd let his mind wander to thoughts of her.
He pressed his forehead to hers and sighed again when she stroked her thumb over his hard skin.
"I thought I understood love, that I understood peace...," he whispered finally, the adoration glowing from his golden eyes as he slowly searched hers. "But how could I, when I would trade everything I have for a moment in your arms?"
Tears stung her eyes as she pressed her face to his neck. She didn't need to reply with words. She knew he could see she felt the same.
It was sometime later that he began to disengage, his hands moving leisurely to her waist as he drew away with a lingering kiss to her forehead, and Carys blinked herself back to life - back to the present.
Her hands slipped down to rest against his upper arms as they stared into one another's eyes - as they waited for her to come completely back into herself. Instead of flooding her, her senses gradually returned, as unwilling to pull her from the solace as her mind and body were.
When she nodded dazedly in response to the question in his eyes, he reached up to clasp her hands in his, tangling their fingers together at his chest as he guided her to the sofa and they sank down in unison.
He brushed her curls from her face, fingers lingering against her cheek and jaw, and she mimicked the gentle caress, pushing back a lock that had strayed from his otherwise perfectly coiffed hair to lie against his brow.
She pressed soft kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, along his jaw, his nose, and finally his lips.
They stayed like that for longer still, their eyes closed, breath mingling, lips barely brushing. Nothing mattered save for the comfort of the moment. The comfort of being together.
Eventually, Carys turned in his arms, laid her head against his long still heart, and hugged his arm to her chest.
She couldn't understand, couldn't describe even to herself, how it felt to be held by him again. Her lungs locked as she searched her mind and found the peace he'd mentioned before, but also a mild feeling of panic - that one day she might somehow lose him. The panic that she'd first felt at his home when he'd explained that she was the only one for him - for eternity.
She fought the panic. Instead allowed herself to take solace from the joy she felt with him.
"Four days..." She murmured against the soft sleeve of his cashmere jumper. "How did I bear it for all those months?"
Carlisle chuckled, almost too low for the sound to reach her ears. "You didn't know the full extent of it - of us," he reminded her gently, pressing his face to her hair. "Though, I found it torturous..."
"You felt like this all that time?" She whispered as he adjusted their position. Surely he couldn't have? Couldn't have felt as she had when she'd seen him on her doorstep? Surely his heart couldn't have wrenched with such painful longing every time he saw her?
"No," he replied slowly as their eyes met again, and for a moment her heart was soothed before it broke as he continued sadly. "It was so much worse. Knowing you weren't mine to come home to."
Carys pushed his arms from her and Carlisle's eyes widened, turned fearful as she stood.
She was overwhelmed with regret for how he'd suffered, though she knew it wasn't her fault. She needed to hold him. Comfort him the best she could, the way he always did for her. It wasn't enough to be held.
He sat up, ready to follow her if she moved too far.
Her heart melted as she gripped his shoulders to steady herself, straddling his hips as she sat down on what she expected to be his hard thighs. The softness she encountered surprised her, and she looked down to find he'd placed a cushion beneath her.
Her heart skipped a beat - knowing he thought of her comfort at all moments. Could she say she'd always done the same? She was scared she couldn't. From that day on, she determined to change that fact.
Carys held his face in her hands, her expression crumbling when she saw the venom swimming in his eyes. Guilt overwhelmed her as she settled herself against him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
"I know it's going to sound ridiculous," she whispered seriously against his ear. "It's going to sound completely ridiculous, but I'm going to make sure you never feel like that again, Carlisle. It's different now. You have me. You have my heart and soul. You'll always have me to come home to."
She kissed his temple as he slid a hand into her hair, and blushed, her heart racing. Her palms itched as she added, nervously, "I was going to tell you I was ready to share my body as well, but I'm not sure that really sounds quite as good as heart and soul..."
Carlisle pulled her more securely against his chest, the cushion beneath her proving an effective barrier between their lower bodies.
"I think it sounds perfect," he murmured, his breath washing over her neck, making her shiver. "So perfect that I'm going to take full advantage and ask you not to move for a while..."
He stroked her back as the tension left his body with a deep contented sigh.
It was a good few minutes later, when Carys' legs were beginning to cramp, that he sat up again and lifted her to sit beside him, not quite meeting her eye.
"It's just occurred to me that you weren't talking about hugging when you mentioned your body," he commented, looking distinctly embarrassed. "I apologise."
"Why on earth would you apologise?" She asked him quietly, trying to hide the affectionate grin from her voice as she flexed her legs. He was really quite unbearably sweet, she thought as she took his hand in both of hers.
"Well... Because I'd imagined that conversation would go a little differently," he explained. "And it definitely didn't include emptying my mind as I basked in your warmth..." He leaned across and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. "Would you mind if we pretended you hadn't said anything? Came back to it later when I can give you the proper response?"
"Well...," she indulged him with a loving smile, "I think we can do that. As long as it comes soon?"
"It will, I promise..." He paused for a moment, an excited smile lighting his face, making him look his age - perhaps a little younger, even. "But first, I think I promised to tell you about the events of the past few days, didn't I?"
"You did," she agreed. Though all she really wanted was to continue enjoying the moment, Carlisle looked fit to burst with the news.
"She's okay," he informed her with a raise of his free hand as he tugged her back into his arms. "Completely unharmed... But something happened to Isabella, and-well, equally to Edward? To give you a taste of what this story involves, it includes Edward speeding across Seattle to save Isabella from a murderer and his cronies."
Carys tilted her head back to watch him, tamping down the flash of fear that seized her as she waited for him to continue. He'd told her she was okay - but was vampire okay different to human okay?
She pressed up, met his gaze with a worried grimace.
He smiled and kissed her gently. "Edward arrived before she was hurt, but from what he tells me, Isabella is exceptionally brave..."
"-she's very good for Edward," Carlisle concluded with a small, proud, smile - a look he'd maintained throughout as he spoke so praisingly of Charlie's daughter - of her bravery, her strength, her determination, of the way he already admired her.
She'd often wondered if he wouldn't have excelled on the stage as he'd told her the whole story - far more than she'd imagined might have happened. He'd told her how Bella had stood ready to fight her would-be attackers. About Edward's saving her. About his turning to Carlisle for a less violent solution than he'd originally planned once she was home and safe. How Edward had helped him find the man - the same one she'd briefly heard the story of on the news that morning - and then how he'd taken him to face justice. Carlisle's form - the legal kind.
Carys felt there was probably more to that part of the story than how he'd described it, glossing over the question of how he'd subdued him in favour of telling her how he was now facing extradition to either Texas or Oklahoma - but she was so happy that a man like that was off the streets that didn't press him for more. Even if he'd resorted to hitting him over the head with a rock, she would have been completely on board.
He could have done far, far worse, and she'd be on board, probably even cheering him on, if she was honest.
Still, there was something about the way he'd told the story... Something she couldn't quite put her finger on that continued to grip her - to squeeze her tight in her belly, roiling low and hot despite her relief as it ended so safely for all involved.
She worked it out as Carlisle said:
"I know that I should be unhappy with Edward for telling Isabella what we are so soon, but the way she handled it..." He shook his head. "In fact-! He didn't actually have to tell her - she'd worked it out herself! And her reaction? Truly incredible. She simply took it in her stride and accepted him completely. Immediately. Not only is she exceptionally smart and brave, but for Edward? For her to have such a good influence on him? I couldn't have dreamed of a better match for- where are you going?" He finished as she stood from the sofa.
Jealousy.
It was jealousy.
Not for what Bella had been through - but for the musing reverence in Carlisle's voice as he spoke of her - the praise his expression and tone added to his words to heap upon Bella for doing what Carys hadn't been able to. For the way her mind twisted his words to suggest that she wasn't either smart or brave because it'd taken her so much longer to work out - and even then, she hadn't guessed it... And she hadn't immediately accepted him, either...
"Carys?" Carlisle prompted gently, a mildly expectant expression on his face as he stared up at her, as if he was expecting her to say she needed the bathroom or wanted to make herself a cup of coffee.
Carys' brows descended as she worried her lip between her teeth and huffed lightly. How could she admit she was jealous about his praise for a teenager? One who'd just had the shock of her life? All because she was apparently braver, smarter, and more worthy of the reverence in his voice than she was?
She tried to reason with herself that it was faintly ridiculous, but the feeling wouldn't go away even as she managed to.
Carlisle frowned lightly, cocking his head to the side as she watched her struggle to put words to her thoughts... And then his face cleared as he smiled.
"Ah..."
"Ah... What?" Carys questioned, failing to hide the tone in her voice.
Carlisle stood slowly, his lips twisting into what could either be described as a mocking or sympathetic smile. Carys' mind jumped straight to mocking.
She ducked and weaved away as he tried to grab her, knowing he was giving her the chance to escape, but it made her feel a little better all the same - which made her somehow more annoyed with him.
"Darling..."
"Don't darling me, Carlisle!" She moaned in complaint, crossing her arms at her chest. "And don't smile at me like that!"
"Carys, come on-"
"Don't tell me to come on, either! I know I'm being ridiculous, but-"
"You're not," he cut across her quietly, an infuriating understanding smile now plastered across his face.
"What?" She whined.
"You're not being ridiculous, I'm-"
"Stop being so nice all the time as well!" She grumbled, throwing her hands up. "It's so hard to be annoyed at you when you're validating me - it's really annoying right now."
"Is it annoying, or not?" Carlisle asked, frowning a little. "It can hardly be both..."
"It can!"
"Can it-?"
"Okay... Well, what if I was to tell you that I knew another man who was one of the loveliest and most compassionate men I've ever met? That he's kind and thoughtful, and-"
Carys cut off with a yelp as the room suddenly span around her and she found herself on her back, lying on the sofa with Carlisle's hard body pressed against hers. Over hers. A low hiss that raised the hairs on the back of her neck emanating from the back of his throat.
"A-and then..." She whispered after a few seconds a different kind of tightness squeezing low in her belly, a different kind of heat rising through her body as she lay beneath him, legs splayed to accommodate his. "I told you... It was okay that you felt jealous, even though we both know... Both know my praise for him wasn't about... That..." She swallowed, panting softly. Her lips parted as her gaze dropped to his own, less than an inch from hers.
"Annoying," he agreed softly, his gaze trailing a path of fire down over her face and body as he ran his hand all too lightly over her knee. Slid his fingers round to the back of her jean-clad thigh. Raised her leg so that he could press himself more securely against her. Robbed her of what little breath she had, pulling it from her in the form of a faint moan.
Carys finally gained enough control of her arms to lift them, twisting her hands in the front of his jumper. She avoided his eye - the mere glimpse of passion she'd seen there had swept away her senses.
He pulled away just enough that she couldn't press a kiss to his lips when she tried.
"Incredibly annoying..." He murmured softly, turning his face from hers so that he could trail his parted lips down her neck, barely touching her skin. He pulled back just enough to deny her again as she arched towards him, seeking more - more contact, more pressure, more of everything that he seemed so intent to hold from her. "I see your point..." He added, darting his tongue to touch the sensitive hollow of her throat, drawing a moan before he moved on, all too slowly.
"Good," Carys whimpered desperately, spearing her fingers in his hair, wishing she could pull him flush against her. Did he not realise how much she was burning for him? How much she wanted him? How much she needed the friction of his body against hers?
She felt him smirk as he finally placed a cold, lingering kiss to her collarbone that made her heart leap, her breath stutter anew.
Carys lifted his jumper - lifted his shirt. She wanted - needed - more contact than he seemed willing to give her. Her body arched against his as his cold breath swept over the heated skin of her neck, the sensation boiling her blood, melting her body beneath his and yet somehow tightening her every muscle. The tightness infused her spine, and she arched again, hooked her leg over his waist.
Felt his body's response as he pressed his hips harder against hers.
Lost all thought on another moan - one that was echoed by his own.
And yet still he refused to kiss her - refused to give her anything more than the press of their bodies. Refused to give her relief from the building tension.
"Carlisle..." She whispered, trying to look down at him as she slowly slid her hand under his shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his abdomen ripple and tense beneath her fingers as she explored the small area of skin she'd exposed.
He lifted his head. Raised it further so that she couldn't kiss him as she needed to. Spurned her breathless, impatient attempts over and over again, as he slid his hand under her waist, using the arch of her spine to ease his way. He eased his hand between her shoulder blades, up further until he palmed the back of her head, his forearm pressed under her back.
Tangled his hand in her hair. Drew a keening whine from the back of her throat. Made her feel hotter than she ever had before. Pressed his lips to her ear.
"Perhaps we shouldn't annoy one another then?" He asked so cheerfully, so easily, it threw Carys completely.
"What!?" She cried, eyes round as she stared at him.
He pulled away swiftly, unhooked her leg easily from his waist, and stood from the sofa with an all too calm expression as he shrugged and pulled his phone from his pocket, flipping it open.
"Dr Cullen speaking."
What!?
She was an aching, moaning, tense, quaking mess, and he was answering his phone!?
He smirked down at her as his eyes slowly stoked the fire that ran through her veins, lazily running his gaze over her as she struggled to find her breath.
Midway through the call, she forced just enough strength into her arms to push herself up onto her elbows.
Carlisle's eyes darkened as he shook his head slowly, yet he maintained his breezy professionalism as he discussed a patient with the person on the other side of the call.
Carys narrowed her eyes at him and pushed herself slowly up further, her heart slowly beginning to calm a little - enough that it was no longer slamming against her ribs, at least.
"Have you checked their chest?" He asked, his tone at odds with the way he looked at her. He stepped towards her - slowly. Reached down and slid his hand back into her hair and gripped. Continued speaking as his fingers flexed and untangled themselves, as he glided them down and around, over her neck, her collarbone, laid his hand lightly at the centre of her chest.
He splayed his hand as her chest rose and fell rapidly, his fingers easily reaching the flesh of her aching breasts. "How's their breathing?"
He said something else that Carys couldn't make sense of, couldn't hear, as every part of her turned its attention to his burning touch.
"-ribs?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow as he turned his hand, shushing her with a frown and another shake of his head when she moaned quietly, the backs of his fingers passing fleetingly over the peak of one breast. He curled his hand around the side of her ribs, his thumb passing back and forth over the lower swell of her breast.
She was sure she could die from the tension, and he'd hardly touched her where she ached for him. Her pupils dilated further. Time seemed to slow. Her breath turned harsher and she resorted to biting her lip to stop herself from whimpering aloud.
His hand left her suddenly as he said: "Of course. I'll come in immediately." And ended the call, sliding his phone into his back pocket.
Carys' eyes widened as she panted up at him. Dazed. Confused. Aching. Desperate.
He bent down and pulled her up to meet him, his thumb pressing lightly against her chin until she released her lip.
He kissed her then - slowly. At once passionate, controlled, soft, and hard - just like he had in her dream.
But unlike her dream, he stopped before she could urge his body against hers or his tongue invaded her mouth.
"Sorry my love, duty calls..." He whispered against her lips, as if pleased with himself for rendering her completely senseless. He pressed one last scorching kiss to her lips, dazzling her mind completely before he pulled away again.
As the door closed behind him, she fell back against the cushions and struggled to put enough oxygen back into her brain to move.
When she was eventually able to think, even, two thoughts flooded to the forefront of her mind.
Carlisle Cullen will be the death of me.
And:
He is not sweet.
A/N: Whooo, you go, Carlisle - give her nothing! I'm going to slink off back to my shadows, but the questions at the top remain the same - I'm going to go by general consensus on this one, but I'm not going to use up too much of many of the chapters for it - they would be specific ones which fit the story.
