Tiredly, Alois kicked off his shoes and tugged at his tie until it came of before tossing it off to the side. His jacket managed to make it to a hanger, as his husband offered to take it, but he collapsed as soon as he reached one of the couches in the master suite's front room. He let out a guttural groan as he laid on his stomach with his arm dangling off of the side. He was tired and worried, but also relieved. It was over now. He had done what he could. Now the rest was up to Integra.

The menace wasn't sure why he was so tired. His mouth felt a bit dry from talking so much, but he didn't want to get up now that he was settled. Mostly, it was emotional. Alois had built this up in his head for weeks and now it was over. It wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be, either. All he could do now was hope everything turned out alright.

After putting up his own items and changing into slightly more comfortable but still rather stuffy pants, Ciel came back to check on the blonde, only to chuckle at the pitiful sight before him. "Poor thing..." he cooed, earning a whine.

"Don't make fun of meeeee…." Alois let out while the other rubbed his back.

"You should change out of the rest of your suit so it doesn't get wrinkled."

"You should kiss my ass."

"I didn't know you were into that sort of thing." Ciel retorted, earning some more incoherent grumbling. "At least move so I can sit down."

With a grunt, the blonde propped himself up on his palms, allowing the other to take a seat. As soon as the Watchdog did, however, Alois laid right back down, using his beau's leg as a pillow as he laid on his side. Not bothered by this, Ciel just let him, gently running his fingers through the blonde's hair and smiling as Alois closed his eyes.

"You were great out there, by the way." the Watchdog added. "You looked like someone who gave tours for a living."

"It was okay. Thanks for the help, by the way." his spouse said. "Sorry you keep having to save my ass all the time..."

"Anytime. Whether it's being captured or giving a presentation, I've got your back."

"Ugh, the thought of that situation is tiring..." Alois complained as he wrinkled his nose.

"I'm not surprised. You were out of it for a while. You had two big holes punched in your stomach!"

"Sometimes it seems like all I do is cause trouble for you." commented the blonde with a somewhat sad laugh. In an instant, his husband's smile dropped. "You're always having to save me or help me out with something. I can't even stay in college..."

"Hey, now… It's not like that..." Ciel insisted. He wore a look of concern on his face as he looked down at his beau, moving a stray lock of hair out of the man's eyes. "Things happen. It's not your fault. You're the last person who wanted any of these things to happen. I don't mind helping you when you need me. In fact, I want to help."

Rapidly, the menace blinked as his eye grew wet before shutting them tight. Ciel could feel dampness on his leg, but paid no mind to it. All that was important to him was making Alois feel alright.

"Talk to me..." Ciel pleaded softly in a soothing tone.

"I'm sorry..." answered Alois with a short, nerve-ridden laugh and awkward smile. He reached up and covered his eyes as he tried his best not to cry. "I just… Fuck… It's just one thing after another, isn't it?"

"Comes with the territory, I'm afraid..." his husband replied. "It's been piling up on you, hasn't it?"

"I guess… I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. It's normal. I would do the same thing, probably. I would certainly mope around, at least."

"I'm tired… God… I freaked you out with the kidnapping thing, I freaked you out with the memory thing, then there's college, then there's this shit..." Alois listed off. "It's always something with me. Just thinking about the damn ocean makes me sick..."

"The ocean?" questioned the bluenette with a tilt of his head. To this, the other hesitated. Embarrassment took hold of him as he was ashamed of his predicament.

"All I could hear was waves." the blonde said. "Back at the Order's hideout. The smell of saltwater started to make me sick. I'm not sure if it was being stabbed and held in place, or what..."

"You might have a bit of PTSD." Ciel suggested. "It was a traumatic experience. I thought it was a bit odd that you seemed alright so quickly..."

"I am alright. I'm perfectly fine about that. Really. Don't worry about it."

"Afraid I can't do that. You know how I am."

"Unfortunately..." Alois muttered, turning over on his back while bringing an arm up to cover his eyes. "Just… Don't worry about me so much, at least. I don't want to be a burden..."

"You're not a burden. These things just happen..." Ciel stated. "It's just how life is..."

"Why me, though? It keeps happening consistently enough that I'm starting to think it might be me." confessed the blonde. "Now that this thing is over… what's next? Am I gonna… shit… I dunno… Turn into a fucking newt or something?"

"You're not going to become a newt..."

"Impossible to know for certain. We did not predict any of the other things, either."

"Jim..." began the bluenette with a sigh, realising that he was unable to reason with his husband, at least for the time being. He didn't know what else to say, though. If he couldn't console the other man, what could he do?

The silence, however, made Alois uneasy. Lifting his arm up slightly, he peeked up at the bluenette before putting it back. "Sorry..." he apologised again.

"No… There's no need for that. I'm not upset or anything. I just wish I could help you more."

There was no answer right away, so the two endured the quiet for just a few moments. Alois was hesitating. They both knew it. There was something on his mind. Eventually, he sat straight up, sitting sideways on the couch with his back to the bluenette as his eyes followed along the length of the piece of furniture. He looked down and tried his best to gather his courage, but there wasn't much he could give.

"Ciel..." he began, trying to steel himself enough to put a question that had popped into his head and gnawed at him from the inside until he let it out.

"Yes?"

"Do you… Like… Being married to me?" the blonde finally asked, body stiffening and eyes squeezing shut as he braced for impact.

In an instant, the Watchdog's expression fell and his heart developed a crack. He was absolutely flabbergasted. It took him a moment to register what he was hearing as "real". Blinking, his eye stayed trained on the other's back as he leaned toward the man.

"What brought this on?" Ciel questioned, breathless as he felt as though he had just been punched in the chest. Opening his eyes again, Alois looked down, watching teardrops land in his lap on his expensive suit pants. He swallowed harshly in a feeble attempt to keep his voice from cracking or sounding strained.

"Do you think… Do you think I'm just some… Some kind of..." Alois' body betrayed him as he sniffled. The realization that he had just given himself away made him cringe. "...Some kind of fuck-up?"

Icy blue eyes widened as arms shot out and grabbed hold of the menace, pulling him back and holding him in a tight embrace. Alois could feel Ciel's cheek against his jaw. It was hot. It felt like it might burn him. Instinctively, the menace brought up his hands, placing them against the other's forearms. One was on his chest around his shoulders while the other was around his waist. He was pulled flush against his spouse. Odd behaviour for the blue Phantomhive. It was concerning.

"Ci-Ciel?"

"Never." stated the Watchdog with absolute certainty. His tone was sure but it was also sad. Hurt, even. The way he spoke to Alois, however, was sincere as it was desperate. "I have never thought of you that way. Ever. Don't- Please don't talk about yourself like that..."

"I..." Alois began. His vision had gone blurry from the water in his eyes. He couldn't see anything. "I'm sorry..."

"You don't need to apologise..." Ciel replied softly. "You're not a fuck-up. You're my husband, my brilliant, sweet, wonderful husband. And I love you more than life itself. I love being with you. I love being married to you. There's no one else I would rather have. Even if bad things happen, even if things don't go the way we hoped or planned, that won't ever change. I want to help you when things are hard. I want to be there when you need me. That's what I'm here for. To support you. To love you. For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, I will be here by your side. That's a promise."

His words were sweet as they entered the other's ear. Shifting, he kissed Alois' cheek before nuzzling his face against the blonde's skin. Alois' grip on his husband's sleeves tightened as he turned his head to look back. All he could do was stare at Ciel's face, at how the man's eyebrows were curved upward and how worried he seemed. Tears still fell from the blonde's eyes, reddening them while staining his cheeks. When Ciel met his gaze, he couldn't help but look away again, feeling compelled to answer.

"I'm so-" he began, stopping short to correct himself. "Okay..." Alois said, letting go of his spouse momentarily to wipe his face on his own arm.

"You can cry. You're overwhelmed. It's healthy to let this sort of thing out instead of bottling it up inside." Placing another kiss to his beau's cheek, he jested: "Take it from a former professional bottler."

The tiniest of laughs escaped the menace as he sniffled and tried to contain himself. "I don't wanna cry, though."

"Well, cry if you need to. Don't if you don't."

"Alright… I'm still not really okay, and I still think I'm a pain, and I hate having you save my sorry ass all the time..."

"...But?"

"No 'but'. I just feel bad, still."

"Oh…" the bluenette bashfully let out, but it didn't deter him. He continued to press kisses wherever he could reach as he tried to console his spouse. "I'm sorry, baby..."

"Pff… Since when do you call me 'baby'?" teasingly snorted the menace.

"I don't. It just kind of slipped out."

"Is it weird that I kind of like it?"

"I'll add it to my vocabulary, then." chuckled Ciel as he leaned back, taking the blonde with him. Both of them stared up at the ceiling as they quietly laid there.

Alois was still in the process of calming down and felt like he was getting better. He felt awful though and probably would for a while. It felt like he had experienced failure after failure while piling stress on top of stress on top of stress. The results were bound to be messy. He and Ciel both hoped things would turn up for him soon.