Dedications at the bottom of the chapter.

Chapter 6

Late November

Sarah and Monica's parties were, by now, a staple of Carys' life. Following the one occasion that she'd decided to stay on the sofa rather than join in, she had learned attendance was pretty much mandatory for those lucky enough to receive an invitation.

Of course, Carys' ribs had still been healing at the time, and her boyfriend had just had to leave town, and her, to attend to a family member, so she'd been given a pass. But she'd also been told in no uncertain terms that she couldn't skip another one that year.

Even Richard had been dragged back from Seattle for the gathering, which was to celebrate Monica's promotion. If a three and a half hour car journey couldn't save him, Carys was pretty sure nothing could save her. Only Charlie had been exempt, on account of the fact that he couldn't leave Bella for an entire night. If he'd been there, it might not have been quite so bad - she would have had someone to not talk to for a while.

For the first time since she'd met Sarah, she would have given anything not to be there.

Carys still hadn't told Carlisle exactly how she felt after speaking to Charlie the week before, but she had begun to feel worse - as she feared she might do. It was much easier to pretend that she was fine when no one actually had any proof that she wasn't, and Sandra's constant prodding about Carlisle and his family wasn't making things any better for her. It didn't help that Carys was supposed to be going away with Carlisle on the second weekend of December, and the closer she came to see him, the more she missed him.

Carys stood in front of Sarah and Monica's house and stared at the door, and sighed. And then sighed again. And again. And then one last time, for good measure. She shouldn't have given up her pass when she was doing okay, she realised, listening to the faint happy, confident voices that floated from within the house. She should have saved it for a time like this, when she was close to quitting her job because she couldn't take Sandra for much longer, and when Bella's non-reaction to her presence was getting to her as much as it was.

Carys closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. She was going in. There wasn't a question of that. Eventually, she would go in. The only question in her mind was how long she would have to stay before she could slip out again.

The front door was suddenly flung open, seemingly of its own accord, and then a second or two later, a boy no older than fourteen bounded out of the house, flinging on his coat and easing the door closed behind him. When he saw Carys, he stopped dead in his tracks, fixed her with the brightest, sweetest, most innocent smile she'd seen in a while, and asked: "Are you going in? It's on the latch!"

Carys recognised him, but for a couple of seconds, she couldn't quite place his face, until it clicked. She'd met his parents - and, by extension, he and his sister, the year before. He was Monica's second cousin on his mum's side. Sue and Harry's son... Cedric...? Luke...? Seth...? Yes, that was it. Seth.

"I am... In a minute," Carys told him, smiling to cover the hesitancy in her voice. His smile widened and he headed off on his way, passing her quickly. Just before he reached the sidewalk she spun on her heel. "Hey, Seth?"

"You know my name?" Seth asked, skidding to a stop at the end of the driveway, and turning around quickly.

Carys' face reflected her surprise at the innocent but strangely excited question. "Er... Yeah, yeah, we met last year... D'you remem-"

"At New Year," Seth replied, cutting across her, his eyes sparkling with the same energy that appeared to radiate from his person. "First year mum and dad let me come, Leah made them. You're Carys, right?"

Carys grinned and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Right," she agreed with a nod. "Carys Vale. You remember me too, then?"

"Yeah! I mean," Seth tipped his upper body from side to side, near breathless from his eagerness. "I kind of know about you. You're going out with that doctor from the hospital, right? Dr Cullen? Mon says he's great, but Dad was all like "Sue, we can't let Monica hang out with her, not now she's going out with that doctor," and then Mom was all like "You can't just tell Mon who she can and can't be friends with, you'll end up like Billy," so now," he continued brightly, after imitating his parents' tones and gestures to perfection, "Mom won, and we can talk to you if we want to."

"I..." Carys blinked slowly, trying to comprehend the sudden onslaught of information. The completely unbidden onslaught of information. The completely baffling onslaught of information. She tried a couple of times to work out what to reply with, her mouth hanging slightly open. Eventually, she settled for: "I beg your pardon?"

"We can talk to you again," he repeated happily.

Carys pressed a knuckle to her lips and struggled with herself. Had he just told her that for some unknown length of time, some people had been forbidden to talk to her on the basis of her dating Carlisle?

"People weren't allowed to talk to me?" Carys practically squeaked the question. She'd only stopped Seth so she could ask how crowded it was inside the house. This was the last thing she expected to happen.

Seth's head bobbed up and down, and Carys worried for his neck because of the speed at which he moved it.

"Yeah!" He switched to shaking his head, and Carys caught herself as she began to actively follow the movements. "Like, only half the Rez though, because most people figured you're an adult and all, and it's just this old thing that only my dad and his friends really believe in, but I'm sure Dr Cullen's not actually a-!" He broke off and tried again with, "I mean, that would mean there were actually-," and then practically threw himself across the path and checked the coast was clear before he laughed and lowered his voice. "Obviously, no one can know I told you this."

"Obviously," Carys whined, her face contorting into an expression she hoped wasn't quite as horrified and crestfallen as she felt. "Why would that be? I mean... Erm... Why? Are you telling me this?"

"Oh, 'cause that's why dad's been so rude," Seth explained easily, tipping his head again. "Him, and Billy, and stuff. We don't all think you're completely mad."

His explanation would have made more sense to Carys if she'd actually seen Harry since she'd started dating Carlisle, but she hadn't. Which meant that without her knowledge, Seth's father and his friends had been talking and spreading rumours about her. A man who'd been so lovely the first and only time they'd met had been talking about her, and he'd been judging her. Because she was dating a doctor.

Carys would later wish she'd asked for more information, but just then, all she could do was narrow her eyes, drop her jaw, and make an inarticulate response along the lines of, "Ah... Aha... O-ka-uh-ah-uhm..."

Seth threw his hand up and curled it into a fist, jabbing his thumb back over his shoulder. "I've got to go get Leah some mints before they notice I'm gone, but it was nice to chat to you."

"Ahhhh... Er... Yah..." Carys settled for a nod that moved her entire torso when she wasn't quite able to find her words, and Seth seemed pleased enough with her reply to leave her with another grin, bounding off into the darkness.

Carys was still staring after him in shock when a wide shaft of light crossing the path around her alerted her to the door having been reopened a few minutes later.

"Carys?" Sarah called from the doorway. When Carys didn't respond, the door closed again, removing the light, and hurried footsteps sounded on the path. "Carys?" Sarah repeated, placing a hand on her friend's arm and turning her so that she could better see her face. "Are you okay? What're you doing standing out here in the cold? Come on inside - Mon's got a bottle of fizz with your name on it."

"I erm..." Carys wasn't sure what to say, or how to explain her shocked expression. She didn't need to think about the reason for the wine, at least; she'd let Monica study at her house over the summer when she wasn't there and Monica needed somewhere she could concentrate more easily. "Is erm..." Carys gestured towards the house. "Is..."

Sarah tilted her head. Her eyes widened with concern, and she gripped Carys' arm. "Carys? What's happened?"

Carys visibly collected herself and shook her head, floundering and trying to focus on her friend's face. "Sarah...?" She asked slowly, forcing the words out past a lump in her throat. "I-I... Has Harry Clearwater been talking about me behind my back?"

Sarah's awkward expression told Carys all she needed to know.

"Has he?" She prompted. "Him and his friends? Charlie's friends? What've they been saying? Has... Have..." Tears of frustration sprang to Carys' eyes, and blinked them away. "Have other people been talking about me behind my back? Judging my worth? Based on who I'm dating? Telling people they can't be around me?"

"No, I-I mean...," Sarah trailed off and glanced back at the house before she took Carys' other arm and looked into her eyes, tilting her head towards her to see better in the dim light. "Care-"

"How many?" Carys asked, cutting across her. "How many people in that house have been talking about me?"

"It's not just you," Sarah informed her quietly, stroking Carys' arms in a soothing manner. "It's... Well, it's Bella as well. Monica won't exactly tell me why, but they're just worried for you is all."

"Worried for me? People are worried for me?" Carys confirmed, laughing bitterly. "What gives any of them the right to be worried for me? Sarah? I don't know any of them." Carys waved a hand in the direction Seth had run off, and added, "Are people not allowed to talk to Bella too? Or is that just me?"

"Just you... But Care-"

"No, Sarah," Carys complained, twisting away from her. "First, you, Charlie, Mon, and Richard of all people - who, I mean, is hardly a best friend or anything, are talking about me behind my back, about how I'm too helpful? Too cheerful? Too cheerful?" Carys threw her hands up in the air and then rubbed her temples, trying to clear her head. "And I'm-I'm... And I'm trying here, I'm trying-"

"I know," Sarah murmured softly, folding her arms across her chest and toeing the ground.

"And I have to put up with Sandra and her band of cronies at the hospital making fun of me because of course, Carlisle wasn't going to stick around for a twenty-something admin, and the family excuse was probably just that: an excuse. And now it turns out half the people in that house right now - or, at least, half the people on the Reservation, have been talking about me just as much? People I've ha-hardly met? Or not met at all?" Carys gripped her hair at her nape, stared at the stars above, wished they could give her some unknown answer, and gritted her teeth. "They don't want-no, not don't want, they've not been allowed to talk to me?"

"I-Care," Sarah tried again, stepping forward with a painfully sympathetic look on her face.

"What am I doing here?" Carys wondered her revelation aloud, her voice hollow. "What am I actually doing here? I mean, it's not as if Bella's said a word to me in the past couple of months. I hate my boss, I'm missing out on my sister growing up, I-I-I'm standing here, in front of my best friend's house, and I'm... And I know that when I walk into that room, half the people are going to have been talking about me behind my back?" She scoffed and took a large step away from Sarah. "Half the people there, at some point or another, haven't been allowed to speak to me."

Sarah said nothing. There was nothing she could say. And so she did the one thing she could and batted Carys' hands away when she tried to protest, hugged her as tightly as she could, and stroked her back whilst she sobbed into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Carys moaned through gasping sobs, "I-I'm sorry. It's.. It's not-"

"I know," Sarah soothed, adjusting her hold. "I know, I know... It's okay... Shh... Let it out."

"I'm s-sorry," Carys whimpered again, over and over. "I-I know this is your party, but I-"

"Shhh... It's fine," Sarah whispered. "It's fine..."

Carys' sobs had slowed, and she'd begun to catch her breath when the door opened again, and she pulled back and away from Sarah, brushing hastily at the streaks of her tears. Her foundation would be ruined, she realised, her breath catching in her throat.

"Is everything okay?" A voice she barely recognised called out. From the glimpse she'd had of the figure before she'd turned her back on them, the voice belonged to a tall young woman with a mane of long, straight, almost black hair.

Sarah replied in the affirmative, calling back in a cheerful voice to say that they were fine, and just needed a minute. When the door closed again, she moved towards Carys and laid her arm across her shoulders.

"Are you okay?" Sarah whispered. When Carys took a sharp breath, straightened her spine, and nodded, she pressed her cheek to her upper arm. "Care... You are-"

"Don't," Carys protested weakly, "please don't try to make me feel better. I'm not going to feel better right now."

Sarah nodded against her arm and squeezed her other shoulder, turning her towards the house. "Come on, let's get you-" she squeezed Carys' shoulder again when she tried to protest, "-no, Care, you're not going home alone like this. Let's get you inside. You can clean up in the bathroom, and I'll bring you a glass of wine. How does that sound?"

Carys nodded meekly, unable to trust her voice not to give her away if she told Sarah that all she really wanted to do was to go home and curl up in bed. How could a well-meant comment from a fourteen-year-old set her off like that? Carys' breath caught in her throat again. Had she ruined Sarah's night?

"And," Sarah continued comfortingly, "after you've downed at least one glass of wine, you can come and hang out out back with Sue and-"

"No," Carys told her, shaking her head, "not Sue, she's-"

"Sue," Sarah began slowly as she led Carys to the door, "is absolutely lovely, and whatever anyone else might have said, she's been totally on your side the whole time."

"She h-has?"

"She has," Sarah confirmed with a gentle smile, stopping just before they reached the house, and shaking her head. "Look, I can't tell you what people have said, because I really don't know, but what I do know? Is that Sue? She's the best, and always has been. And it won't just be her, either. Her daughter Leah's out there too, and she's had her fair share of shitty moments in the past year. She won't tell anyone you were crying, that's not her style. Maybe you two can hang out a bit and just... I don't know..." Sarah sighed and shook her head again. "Maybe what you need isn't me, or Mon, or Charlie right now. You need someone you can just chat to, who isn't happy like Mon and me, or settled like Charlie and Rich, or depressed like Bella," she listed off the emotions with a shake of her head for each. "Maybe you just need to talk to someone new? Who's closer to your age... Kinda..."

Carys smiled bleakly, through a sniffle. "Kinda my age?" She questioned.

"Well," Sarah clarified, grinning to herself. "Maybe not exactly your age, but younger than the rest of us, anyway."

"How... How old...?" Carys rephrased the inquiry, grimacing. Seth was around fourteen - he couldn't have been older than that... How old could his sister be? She hoped Sarah wasn't about to say she expected her to hang out with a sixteen-year-old. That would be faintly insulting after her breakdown a few minutes before.

Sarah laughed quietly and opened the door, checking the coast was clear before she ushered Carys through to the bathroom off the hall. Right before she closed the door, she informed her, "Leah's nineteen."

"So... She's at college? Or she's finished school, at least?" Carys mused. When Sarah pressed her lips together and tapped her nose, backing away down the hall, she poked her head out of the bathroom and hissed after her, "Sarah. She's. She's at least finished school, right? Sarah!"

Sarah disappeared, and Carys was left alone to lock the bathroom door behind herself and confront the image reflected back in the mirror. She was a mess. And something needed to change. She couldn't do this to herself anymore. Over the past week, it was as if she was waiting for the next time she broke down.

And it wasn't just about Carlisle, she had to admit to herself. It wasn't just about the Cullens leaving, or the way Bella refused to talk to her anymore. It was her past. And what she wanted from her future. It was her. Something had changed with her, and none of it was enough anymore. Waiting around for Bella, working with Sandra, going home to an empty house every night... It wasn't her. It wasn't what she wanted from her life, even if it was just for six or seven months.

Carys had to admit that after knowing what she did about herself - knowing she had abilities and practising them over the course of months, she wouldn't be happy if she was just existing and living as she was before. After finding there was so much more in the world than she'd known existed before she was with Carlisle, she wasn't content anymore.

He wasn't there, but it didn't mean that all she would do for six months of the six and a half human years she had left was wait for him to come back.

First, she'd ignore how she was feeling, take Sarah's advice, and down a glass of wine. Then, she'd spend the night with Sarah, Sue, and Leah. In the morning, she decided whilst she wiped the streaky foundation from her face with a wet paper towel, she would have a frank conversation with Bella. And make sure she listened to her this time.

After that... Well, she'd find her next compulsion, and she'd follow it. No matter what. Only following a compulsion could get her out of the state she'd fallen into.

Carys left the bathroom, nodding to herself, and was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn't think to check the hall, and strode straight into Richard as he headed for the kitchen. They awkwardly laughed off the encounter, found some wine on their way out to join the group (which, interestingly enough, included both of their hostesses for the evening) and settled down beside each other on the porch swing, the only seat that remained unoccupied, save the chair beside Leah which was marked for Seth's return.

Sarah had been right when she'd told Carys that Sue was lovely and that Carys would get on with Leah, no matter how much she doubted it in the first hour. Leah reminded Carys of a cross between Rosalie and Monica whenever she spoke or rolled her long-lashed eyes at something one of the group said. Sure enough, as Sarah also predicted, she kept quiet about Carys' tears.

Slowly, over hours and several glasses of wine, Carys relaxed, and whilst she didn't lose her apprehension or marked upset whenever certain visitors popped their heads out into the garden, it was ultimately a more enjoyable evening than Carys could have expected. That was partly due to Leah. The first time Harry popped out to whisper something in Sue's ear, Carys had turned away, and inadvertently caught Leah's eye in the process. Leah's flash of a faint smile was more supportive than questioning, and she'd made a point of glaring some people down, making them return quickly to the rest of the celebrations in the living room.

According to Richard, that was just Leah - she was often standoffish these days, but Carys wasn't too sure about the assessment.

Sitting with Richard, Monica, Sarah, Sue, Leah, and Seth (who returned with the story that he'd been in the living room the whole time, and to his sister's surprise, slipped her a packet of mints after she'd slipped off for a "breather" halfway through the night) was almost cathartic by the end of the night.

It was what she needed.

And that was why Carys didn't think too much, when the offer was made over Seth's head when he'd fallen asleep in his chair, about accepting Leah's suggestion they swapped numbers.

Carys' friends ranged from nineteen, give or take a couple of hundred years, to forty-one (excluding the aforementioned centuries-old vampire, Jasper). Adding another nineteen-year-old to the list wouldn't be too big of a tip to the scales. Especially not when it added to the human/supernatural being ratio she maintained in her life at the moment.

A/N: Thank you to: McGonnagill1996 (I've PM'd you :)), souverian, Guest (oh, she's going to! Edward especially - Alice at least came back!), Ella (I hope you think the same of her after this chapter!), penmage007, chellekathrynnn, Adela (I'm glad you liked it!), Sting3, Lizzy B (I love him so much, he deserves more time!), GhostWriter71, Love. Fiction. 2020, and marylopez0812 for your reviews! If I haven't PM'd a reply yet, I will in the morning.