It starts out at the Knudson-Loud-Anderson estate and Lynn Sr. opened the door.
Lynn Sr.: [cheerfully] "C'mon, girls, it's time for Take Your Daughter To Work Day!"
[All his daughters and Sailor Saturn stampede down the stairs.]
Girls: "Yay!"
I am sitting on the couch with Varie.
Me: Have a fun time girls!
[Lincoln strolls by elegantly, wearing a lavish girly outfit.]
Lincoln: "As another one of your daughters, I too cannot wait for this day."
I snicker quietly
[Lynn Sr. traps Lincoln with his hand as Lincoln is about to exit the doorway.]
Lynn Sr.: "Hold it right there."
Lincoln: "What's wrong, Daddy?"
Lynn Sr.: "Nice try Lincoln, but it's Take Your Daughter To Work Day."
Lincoln: [takes off his wig, disappointed.] "Come on, Dad. Every year, they get to go with you to work and have an awesome time, and I get stuck at home."
Lynn Sr.: "Sorry, pal. Besides, my office isn't that awesome."
Luna: [eagerly excited] "Hurry, Pops! We don't wanna miss the donut cannon!"
Me: Donut Cannon? That sounds awesome.
Lynn Sr.: It is! [just as excited] "I'll bring you back a jelly-filled!" [heads to the car]
[The girls cheer and the van heads off for the office.]
Varie: I wish we could go. The girls always have a fun time
Me: From what I've heard they always have a fun time on Take Your Daughter To Work Day.
Rita: "They do guys. [To Lincoln] You know, it's not fair that you should have to miss out on Take Your Daughter To Work Day."
Lincoln: "Really?" [puts wig back on and applies lipstick.]
Rita: "Yep. So I'm officially making today Take Your Son To Work Day. You're coming with me."
Lincoln: "Wait. To the dentist's office? I don't know, Mom."
Rita: "Hey, come on. I know it's not as exciting as Dad's office, but you're Lincoln Loud. You can make anything fun."
Me: Come on Lincoln, this will be really fun. Can we come too?
Rita: Of course.
Varie: Great!
Lincoln: "Well, I guess that's true. Okay. I'm in." [goes off in his lavish girly disguise.]
Me: Wait Lincoln. You'd better go change first.
Lincoln: Yeah. Good idea.
Lincoln runs back in to change.
[The dentist's office. Some patients have had some really bad dental work. Dr. Feinstein's patient Tara comes out after having a really bad tooth taken out.]
Dr. Feinstein: "Okay, Tara, the pain will go away in a few days. In the meantime, here's a lollipop." [gives Tara a lollipop and turns to his assistant, Lincoln's mother.] "Good morning, Rita."
Rita: "Good morning, Dr. Feinstein. You remember my son, Lincoln?"
Dr. Feinstein: "Sure I do."
Me: Hello Doctor.
Dr. Feinstein: Hello J.D., Varie. Alright Lincoln, Let's see how those permanent teeth are coming in. Open." [pulls Lincoln's nose and opens his mouth; sees some plaque building up.] "Mm-hm. Have you been flossing?"
Lincoln: "Uh-huh. Every night."
Dr. Feinstein: [disbelieving] "Sure you have." [goes back into his office.]
[A vacant office.]
Rita: "Okay, guys, while I'm working, you can hang out in here and read comics." [hands Lincoln some dental comics.]
[Lincoln looks excited and then disappointed.]
Lincoln: "Teddy Toothbrush VS the Evil Ninjavitis?"
Me: Dentist comics. Cool.
Rita: "Mm-hmm. My favorite issue is number four: Fastest Gums In The West." [imitates whip motion and noise.]
Varie: Neat.
Lincoln: "Can't I hang out with you while you work?"
[Enter Dr. Feinstein]
Dr. Feinstein: "Rita, I have an abscess that needs to be drained. Bring a bucket."
Me: Ooh. Those are painful.
Lincoln: [gags a little] "Actually, I'm good here."
[Rita is writing something.]
Rita: "Be right there, doctor." [leaves]
Lincoln: "Okay, I can make this fun."
[The Blue Danube Waltz by Johann Strauss II plays as Lincoln lifts himself up in a patient's chair, pretending to be an astronaut in space.]
Lincoln: "This is Captain Loud to Ground Control." [makes radio hiss sound] "I can see Uranus from here, and boy, is it gassy.
Me: [Hiding behind the counter and makes radio hiss sound] This is Ground Control, Roger that Captain Loud, we copy.
Lincoln: This is one small step for man, one giant leap for-" [notices something] "Lana?!"
[It turns out his father's office is across the street from the dentist's office. Lana and Lynn are spinning around in office chairs and laughing. Gabrielle, Carol, Tabby, Lily, and Luna have 5 donut cannons and are firing donuts everywhere.]
Luna: "YEAH!"
Lily: (Imitating Scarface) SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE SWEET FRIEND!
Lincoln: "Dad's office is across the street? No fair! I can't compete with that!"
Me: Man it sure is. That's just a short run from here.
Varie: Yeah.
[The supply room]
Rita: "Let me show you one of the other neat things we've got here." [opens up a cabinet] "We call it Dr. Feinstein's Cabinet Of Fun."
Varie: That's a lot of stuff.
Lincoln: [disappointed] "Oh. Dental supplies."
[Enter Dr. Feinstein]
Dr. Feinstein: "Rita, we have a couple of teens with their braces stuck together."
Me: Ooh! That's not fun.
Rita: "Be right there, doctor." [writes something down and leaves.]
Lincoln: "Okay, what have we got here? Dental floss, surgical masks, gloves...I think I can work with this."
[The room is now set up like a jewel heist with the floss acting as a laser security system.]
Lincoln: "Langley, this is Agent Loud. I've got eyes on the president's tooth.
Varie: Roger that Agent Loud. We have visual.
Lincoln: Security's tight, but tell POTUS I'm bringing that molar home." [sneaks past the floss lasers and grabs the novelty tooth.] "Just another routine job for Agent-" [sees the girls] "OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"
[The girls and their father are all having a suction cup dart fight. Luna goes in for a side shot. Leni has hers pointed at herself and Lisa changes it so that she's firing correctly. Anastasia is firing at Lynn Sr. while swinging on a rope from the ceiling. Laney is hiding behind the cubicle walls and a coworker is helping her fire at Lynn Sr. He sneaks past the crossfire.]
Lynn Sr.: "HA! YOU MISSED ME!"
[Lincoln trips over the floss and the supplies from the cabinet of fun fall on top of him.]
Lincoln: "Dang it."
[The break room]
Rita: [walks Lincoln over to a fish tank.] "The fun isn't over yet! Let me introduce you all to our office mascot."
Lincoln: "Whoa. What is it? A piranha? A barracuda? A Great White?"
[A guppy swims by, thus disappointing Lincoln further.]
Rita: "Not exactly. Heh. We call him Fisher."
Me: A little goldfish. He sure is cute.
[Enter Dr. Feinstein]
Dr. Feinstein: "Rita, I need you." [with hands covered in caramel] "We've got a caramel apple emergency."
Varie: Ooh. Sticky.
Rita: [writes something down] "I'll be back, Lincoln. Do me a favor and feed Fisher." [hands Lincoln fish food]
Lincoln: "You got it." [pretends to be an Australian wildlife explorer with a faux accent.] "Crikey! It's a rare Patagonian dental fish. These babies are known to be fierce predators. I'd better be extra careful feeding them or it's bye-bye, pinky."
Me: (Australian Accent) Right-o Mate. Proceed with extreme caution.
Lincoln: [adds in fish food but drops too much.] "Whoops! That's a few too many shrimps on the barbie for this little guy." [tries to get it out.] "Fisher!"
Varie: I got him. [Grabs Fisher and puts him back in]
[Fisher slips out of the tank and through a trunk. Lincoln looks for him and Fisher flails into his pants. Lincoln shakes Fisher out and the guppy flies off the wall and back into the tank which Lincoln seals up.]
Lincoln: "I guess it's J.D. Knudson, Varie Knudson and Lincoln Loud: one, little fishy: zip-" [sees something in his father's office.] "-line?!"
[Lucy, Lily, Penny, Matilda, Sailor Saturn, Riley, and Leni are zipping on a zipline over the cubicles while the co-workers are annoyed by their antics.]
Lucy: "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Sailor Saturn: Woo-hoo!
Lincoln: [sighs] "Why do I even try? This place will never be as fun as Dad's."
Me: No but I have an idea. [I pull out a scroll and unseal some laser tag blasters] Lets have some fun with these.
Varie: I see what you're gonna do. We're going over there and have fun with them.
Me: You hit the nail right on the head. First we got to tell Ms. Rita.
Enter Rita.
Rita: "We're gonna be another half hour or so, guys. There was more caramel than we thought." [gets her glove stuck to the way on her hand gesture.] "Think you can keep yourselves amused?"
Me: Sure Ms. Rita. We're gonna go over to Mr. Lynn's office and have some fun with the girls.
Rita: (Slyly) Oh I get it. It's payback for not letting Lynn take Lincoln on Take Your Daughter To Work Day.
Varie: Bingo. We're gonna have a Laser Tag fun fest.
Rita: I see. Go get them! Just be sure you're back by five.
Me: With pleasure and we will.
It was 11:25 AM and I set my watch for 4:30 PM.
Me: Lets roll.
We exit the building and fly cross the street below the view of the window of Lynn Sr.'s office and land on the sidewalk. We see an unexpected surprise. It was Bobby, Eddy and Ronnie Anne.
Me: Hey Bobby, Ronnie Anne, Eddy!
Bobby: J.D. amigo! What's up?
Ronnie Anne: Hey Lame-o's.
Lincoln: Hey Ronnie Anne.
Eddy: J-Train! What's happening?
Me: We were just heading over to Mr. Lynn's office for a little laser tag payback time for Lincoln not going on Take Your Daughter To Work Day.
Ronnie Anne: I love Laser Tag!
Bobby: That's cool! I work at that arcade behind you.
We look behind us and we see an arcade.
Varie: That is really coincidental.
Me: Is it your day off today?
Bobby: It sure is.
Ronnie Anne: Bobby now has so much free time because he doesn't text Lori too much after work.
Varie: That's cool.
Lincoln: Yeah. You want to come with us guys?
Ronnie Anne: I would like that Lame-o.
Eddy: If Luan is there than it would be perfect. I bought a jawbreaker for her at the candy store at the mall and I wanted to give it to her.
Me: She'll love it. Lets go.
We go inside the building and take the elevator to the 2nd floor.
Me: This is gonna be good.
The elevator opened up and we go to the door and see the girls and Lynn Sr. having fun.
Me: Ready? One... Two... Three!
We open the door and stand ready.
Me: (Imitating Arnold Schwarzeneggar) It's showtime!
Varie: Laser tag style!
Bobby: Hey babe.
Lori: Bobby Boo Boo Bear!
Luan: Hey Eddy!
Eddy: Hey Luan! Got you a present. [Takes the jawbreaker the size of a basketball and throws it to her and she catches it]
Luan: Oh wow! These Jawbreakers are huge! Thank you!
Eddy: You're welcome my Angel of Comedy!
Laney: Lincoln! [Runs over and hugs him] It's never fun without you big brother!
Lincoln: I know Laney. You can be on our team. [Hands her a laser tag blaster]
Laney: Thanks Lincoln. Lets get them!
Me: Lets. Attack!
We fire our lasers and the girls are dodging the beams and laughing with so much fun and joy.
Me and Varie were using old ambush style tactics and hiding behind the cubicle walls and getting the drop on Lori, Leni, Luna, Gabrielle, Lynn, Shannon, Linka, and Penny. Eddy was having trouble getting a clear shot at Lana and Lola.
Eddy: I can't get a clear shot.
Laney: Here Eddy. [Spins her new Magisword Bracelet and pulls out a Magisword]
Announcer: BAT WING MAGISWORD!
This Magisword looked like a bat wing and Laney fired a beam of light at Eddy and he sprouted Bat Wings.
Eddy: What the!? [Sees the wings] I have Bat Wings!?
Luan: Eddy you look incredible with Bat Wings!
Eddy: I kinda do don't I? This reminds me of that time we were playing Truth or Dare and Ed dared me to do a stupid dare by having me Sprout the Wings of a Bat and Stomp Like a Zombie while whistling "Row Row Row Your Boat" through a carwash.
Luan: (Laughs) That is a very crazy dare.
Eddy: Yeah. But I see what Laney wants me to do.
Eddy flew above the cubicles and did a flanking maneuver by firing lasers at the girls from above.
Luan: All right Eddy! [To Laney] Are you into Magiswords now Laney?
Laney: Yeah. Lana got me into it.
Luan: I can tell.
Eddy lands back down by Luan.
Eddy: BATS All for them. (Rimshot) (Laughs) Get it?
Luan: (Laughs) Good one Eddy! You were BATTASTIC! (Rimshot) (Laughs) Get it?
Eddy: (Laughs) I get it. Thank for the wings Laney.
Laney: You're welcome Eddy. Those wings are permanent though. But you can sprout them and hide them at will.
Eddy: Cool!
Eddy hid the wings and continued firing with Luan.
Me, Lily and Lynn Sr. were firing at Lori and Bobby.
Me: Take this Bobby! [Fires a laser beam and it misses Bobby]
Bobby: Nice try amigo! [Fires 2 shots at J.D.]
Lily: I got this. [Spreads her wings and flies over them and fires shots at Bobby and Lori]
Me: Nice Flanking Maneuver Lily!
Lynn Sr.: All right Lily! [to Me] So J.D. what made you want to bring Lincoln, Bobby, Ronnie Anne and Eddy here?
Me: Lincoln was getting bored over at the dentist and we saw how much fun you all were having here. So we decided to bring some fun over here as...
Lynn Sr.: As payback for not taking Lincoln on Take Your Daughter To Work Day?
Me: You hit the nail right on the head Mr. Lynn. [Fires at Ronnie Anne]
Lynn Sr.: Oh man. [To Lincoln] Son I'm sorry I couldn't take you with me. I wanted to but I couldn't.
Lincoln: That's alright dad. Mom made today Take Your Son To Work Day at the dentist.
Me: We saw your office across the street from the Dentist and it made the trip with Ms. Rita boring. We ran into Bobby, Ronnie Anne and Eddy on our way here.
Lynn Sr.: That's cool. Well you all made this day so much fun!
Me: Happy to provide Mr. Lynn. [Fires at Lori]
Lincoln: We're gonna get you guys! [Fires at Bobby]
Me: Not today buddy! [Fires at Lincoln]
Lily landed by me and Lynn Sr.
Lily: I'm going after Lola & Lana.
Me: Okay. Be careful Lily.
Lily: I will. Linka! Come with me!
Linka: You got it Lily.
Linka spread her wings and she and Lily flew over the cubicles for an aerial attack.
Back at the Dentist's office, Rita and Dr. Feinstein were watching the laser tag war. Small lights were flickering in the windows of Lynn Sr.'s office.
Rita: They sure are having fun over there.
Dr. Feinstein: They sure are. You know what Rita how about you go over there and have some fun too? I'll take over for your shift today.
Rita: (Gracious) Thank you Doctor.
Dr. Feinstein: You're welcome. Go kick some butt.
Rita: I will.
Rita dons a commando style uniform and she had a laser tag blaster of her own.
Rita: It's time to kick some butt!
Rita ran over there and got to the entrance of the office building.
The battle was intense as Lily and Linka flew over where Lana & Lola were and fired from above.
Linka: Hey Princess and Dirtpool! Up here!
Lily and Linka fired multiple lasers and Lola & Lana hid under a workers desk.
Lana: [To a worker] Sorry sir.
Worker: That's all right. You guys are all having alot of fun. Go get them!
Lola: With pleasure. [To Linka and Lily] SAY YOUR PRAYERS LINKA AND LILY!
Lana & Lola roared and spread their wings and flew after them.
Linka: They are on our tails!
Varie spread her wings and flew after Lana & Lola.
Varie: I'm on them Linka. Hold on.
Varie fires her laser and Lana and Lola went down.
Linka: Thanks Varie.
Lana: This is so much fun sis!
Lola: Yeah!
Back with Me and Lynn Sr.
Me: This is like fighting in a science fiction war movie!
Lynn Sr.: It sure is.
Riley suddenly entangled us in vines and she, Luna and Haiku were pointing their laser blasters at us.
Me: Nice sneak attack you three.
Riley: Thank you
Luna: Thanks dudes.
Haiku: Say your prayers.
?: I think not! [Fires lasers at Riley, Luna and Haiku]
They went down and the vines let us go and we saw Rita ready to fight.
Me: Ms. Rita? Wow! Great shooting!
Rita: Thank you J.D.
Lynn Sr.: You got off work early?
Rita: Dr. Feinstein gave me the rest of the day off so I can have fun with you all.
Me: That was nice of him and you look awesome in a Commando Uniform Ms. Rita.
Rita: Thank you J.D. Now Lets get them!
Me: With Pleasure. [Fires more shots]
Rita was using Parkour and jumping all over the place and moving fast and firing multiple shots.
Laney: Woo-hoo! Go Mom!
Lynn: Mom has some nice and sick moves!
Leni: Is she starting to get sick?
Lisa: No Leni. It means that her speed and arcobatic movements are fast and amazing.
Leni: Oh yeah.
Matilda: I agree. Her moves are fast and swift.
Gabrielle: (British Accent) Indubitably.
Carol: They are awesome.
Rita was overpowering the competition and she won.
6:00 PM.
We all were back at the house eating dinner. We were having an Indian Curry Feast.
Lana: J.D. you made this the best Take Your Daughter To Work Day Ever!
Everyone agreed.
Me: We're glad we could help Lana.
Lola: Where's Aylene? How come she didn't come?
Varie: She's sick and is staying at home.
Laney: That stinks but we all had lots of fun.
Lisa: Yes indeed. Thank you for making this a fun experience for all of us 2nd big brother unit.
Me: You're welcome Lisa.
Lucy: I agree. Also Eddy, those bat wings you have are really cool.
Eddy: Thanks Lucy. Laney gave them to me with the Bat Wing Magisword. It reminded me of a dare you gave me a while back Ed.
Edd: I remember that. I told Ed to do a more reasonable dare.
Ed: Yep. I dared Eddy to be Double D.
Me: The Swap Dare. Let me guess, Double D, you dared Ed to be Eddy and Eddy, you dared Double D to be Ed.
Eddy: That's right.
Edd: That's correct.
Varie: We're your imitations that good?
Me: Can we hear them?
Eddy: Sure. [Imitating Edd] Please Eddy. You're invading my personal space.
We all laugh.
Me: (Laughing) That was really good Eddy.
Luan: (Laughing) That's good Eddy.
Varie: That was really good. How about you Ed?
Ed: Let me see here. [Pushes his eyes closer] [Imitating Eddy] I have caused discomfort cause I'm Eddy! (Laughs like him)
We all laugh.
Me: (Laughing Hysterically) Oh gosh Ed! That is too funny!
Lincoln: (Laughing) That was really funny!
Lori: You guys crack us up!
Laney: What about you Double D?
Edd: Okay. [Pulls his face and his eyes are further apart] [Imitating Ed] Buttered Toast!
We all laugh hysterically.
Me: (Laughing Hysterically) Oh that was so funny! You're killing us!
Varie: (Laughing) That was hilarious!
Linka: (Laughing) That was funny!
Luan: That was funny!
Anastasia: That was hysterical!
Me: I'm guessing you guys took the dare too far after that.
Eddy: Yep. Kevin beat me up in Double D's room.
Edd: Sarah thought I was Ed and made me clean his room. I landed in a tub of Gravy in Ed's bathroom.
Lori: EW! A tub of Gravy? That's gross.
Lola: I agree with you Lori.
Ed: I had some weird habits before the Vengeance Express.
Laney: That's unusual.
Sarah: It was weird.
Ed: Jonny dared me for a quarter. I was to be Plank and Plank was to be Eddy.
Me: Weird. But were you a good Plank, Ed?
Ed: I was.
Varie: Talk about a huge case of mistaken identity.
Edd: I agree Varie.
Lisa: That was a very elaborate dare you all put on.
Eddy: Yeah. Truth or Dare may be one of my favorite games but we took it way too far back then.
Me: These things happen Eddy.
Varie: Yeah. It's normal in the developing mind.
Lisa: Yes indeed.
Sailor Saturn: I agree. But we all had lots of fun.
Varie: We sure did.
Lynn: And worked up a good sweat.
Me: You said it.
Laney: This was all really fun for us.
Anastasia: I agree.
Shannon: Me too.
Jessie: It sounds like it.
We all ate our dinner and got ready for bed.
THE END.
Another Fanfiction Completed.
I've had this one on my mind for a little while. I got the idea for the Laser Tag war at Lynn Sr.'s office from my books that I write at home. I wanted to include Ms. Rita in the battle and have her demonstrate some of her sports skills. The episode of Ed, Edd N Eddy we were talking about was "Mirror Mirror On The Ed". One of my favorites. Let me know what you all think.
See you all next time.
