I've realised I get the same rising panicky feeling when I so much as look at New Moon as I do when I come towards the end of Order of the Phoenix. Just a great big pile of WHYYYYY? gripping me.
I had full plans for this which were going to make things different over time, but I've realised I've written myself into a corner maybe only I can currently see? I'm just going to throw myself headfirst onto my bed and mumble "I don't wanna" for a couple of hours, and then skip a couple of months to get closer to the return.
I PROMISE things are about to change and get exciting!
Chapter 11
Almost two months later...
"Wait up!" Carys cried, gasping for breath. She bent over double, gripped her knee with one hand, wrapped her other arm around her waist, and pressed as hard as she could against the stitch that had stopped her in her tracks.
Leah returned to her side, jogging on the spot. Rather than envy at the younger woman's energy, Carys felt a pang of embarrassment; three miles into their run, she couldn't keep up.
"Giving in already?" Leah teased, passing Carys the water bottle she'd dropped. "What's with you today? You usually hold on until like mile four before you go all ahhh, my side, it burnsss, the pain!" she mimicked, waving her arms about.
Carys forced herself up and leaned back, gulping breath into her lungs whilst she unscrewed the cap and tipped the bottle to her lips. She gulped down the liquid and shook her head.
"You're-you're too-oh god. You're fas-ter, today," she complained breathlessly.
Leah grinned and grabbed Carys' arm the instant she'd screwed the lid back on, pulling her back to the centre of the path, declaring: "It's just a stitch Vale, push through the pain!"
Carys staggered a little at first, but followed Leah's advice and found her pace again. Headphones pumping, neither talked as they built back up to speed, racing through the forest surrounding La Push.
Fifteen minutes later, they broke from the treeline twenty feet or so from the side of a cliff, and Carys fell to the cold hard ground in a gasping heap. Everything hurt. Her legs; her arms; her entire torso was aflame; when she pulled off her headphones, her ears began to ache from the loss of their warmth.
Leah caught her breath far more easily, hooked her headphones over the back of her neck, and kicked lightly at Carys' thigh until she relented and began to stretch out her sore muscles.
"Your parents should have kept your phone," Carys grumbled when she was able to breathe again, pulling her knee to her chest. "That way I'd-"
"Never've realised we were fine, and wouldn't be torturing yourself every week," Leah finished for her in a mockery of an English accent, bending over one outstretched leg as she pressed down on her thigh. When she was done, she clasped her hands overhead and twisted this way and that. "You know, it's been over a month and a half? Let it go already, or just stop coming on runs."
Carys chuckled, lying back to take a few minutes' uncomfortable rest; they had the run back ahead of them, and it was February; the cold was already beginning to seep through her gilet, running leggings, and thermal jumper. She rolled her head to the side and fixed Leah with an innocent, wide-eyed stare.
"It's fifteen miles from Forks to La Push. No way am I losing to Sarah again, and you're good practice. Besides, why would I want to miss out on your stellar company and excitable nature?" Carys narrowed her eyes, glanced to the side, tried to work out the word, then gave up. "What's the opposite of a foul mouth?"
Leah laughed, settling down beside Carys. Propping herself up, she gazed towards the edge of the cliff. Rather than black, her running outfit was a mismatch of green, blue, and red. It suited her.
"No idea, but it's not like you're always a barrel of laughs, is it?"
"Me?" Carys squeaked, pushing up onto her elbows. "I'm delightful! Even your mum agrees."
"My mom," Leah countered, emphasising the pronunciation of the word, "just likes you 'cause if I'm running, I'm not in the way - especially when Emily-" she spat the name "-comes over. And she doesn't know you like I do. Think you set the record for how many times one person could watch The Holiday before they realised they had a problem."
Carys kicked her heel against the ground as hard as she could, and glared. As usual, she ignored Leah's teasing about her state immediately following Carlisle's departure.
"I still can't believe she has them over to your house. I mean, I get the reason, I do, it's just, I don't get why she does it there. She must know it's just gonna hurt you."
Emily had been injured in a bear attack the year before, after which she'd moved to La Push to be closer to Sam, and Sue checked on her now healed wounds every week over cake and coffee.
"Yeah, well, maybe she thinks I'll forgive her one day. Emily's the golden goose - she can't do wrong in mom's eyes, and Sam can't do wrong in dad's. They can all fuck off with their perfect little second family." Leah dropped back and fisted handfuls of her ponytail, wrenching it tighter. "Man, I'm fucking done with this place."
She passed a hand over her eyes, and continued, "It's like: Seth's the only one who wouldn't swap me for Emily, so what's the point of sticking around and getting my face rubbed in it every single day? God I can't wait for college. Fuck it," she sighed, rolling to the side when Carys tried to comfort her. "I don't wanna talk about it right now... You heard from Carlisle yet?"
Carys held her tongue. If Leah wasn't willing to talk about something, it meant she'd hit her limit already. She must have had an argument with one of her parents before they went out; her speed suddenly made sense.
"Still nothing. I don't think he gets reception where he is," Carys told her, instead of asking whether Leah new when in March she could expect responses from the two colleges she'd applied to.
"It's been what? Two weeks?"
"Four," Carys corrected with a sigh. Only the knowledge he was looking for Edward and the feeling in her gut stopped her from worrying he'd been hurt. Or worse. "More than last time."
"Fuck-ton of good that is," Leah grumbled, hooking one ankle over the other. They fell into an uneasy silence for a moment before she sat up again. "You don't think he's ghosted, do you...? Like Richard...?"
"Of course not!" Carys snapped. "Sorry, I-its just. Why does everyone keep saying that? I'm tired of defending us - yes, Carlisle's coming back, and no, he hasn't up and ghosted me for another woman. He'd tell me if he wanted to break up, but he hasn't, so we're good."
Whilst "everyone" was an exaggeration, Leah wasn't the first person over the past six weeks to have made the connection between Richard running off with a mystery woman with barely a text to his friends, and Carlisle and his family leaving town just as suddenly.
"What guy quits his job and runs away with a girl to Florida?" Leah asked, changing the subject quickly. "Florida? Of all the places in the world?"
"I don't know. It was January. Maybe he fancied hot and wet weather over cold and wet," Carys replied doubtfully, shaking off the guilt of her outburst. Leah wouldn't hold it against her.
Every time Carys thought about Richard, something gnawed at her gut. She picked at the frozen ground and flashed a doleful smile when Leah rolled her eyes in an exaggerated display.
"Look, I don't wanna worry you, but-"
Crack!
"What was that?" Carys whispered. Pushing herself quickly to her feet, she searched the treeline for the source of the sound that had cut Leah off; Leah joined her, eyes wide.
Crack!
Carys' heart beat a staccato rhythm in her chest, and yet simultaneously seemed lodged in her throat.
A rustling sound, coming from just out of view, drew their attention, and they grabbed each others' hands, edging slowly and carefully towards the cliff edge.
The rustling was closer the next time.
If it was one of the bears that had been sighted in the area more and more since Emily's attack, their only hope would be not to provoke it. If they did, it would fall to Leah to race for help.
So this is how I die? Carys thought to herself, surprised by the calm thought in the midst of her ever-rising fear.
The rustling suddenly stopped.
And a tall, muscular, barechested man stepped from the trees.
"Oh, you absolute FUCK, JARED!" Leah yelled, breaking through the tense silence. "You scared the shit out of us!"
Jared's long black hair hung loose, spilling over wide shoulders; he must have been just shy of a foot taller than them, with a handsome face, tanned skin, warm eyes, more muscles than you could shake a stick at, and-Carys caught herself. Now was not the time for thinking Quileute men were fit.
So this was Jared; best friend to Leah's shit-head ex-boyfriend; member of his gang, or cult, depending on who you asked.
Carys' saving grace was that he appeared older than nineteen or twenty. Older, even, than Carys, though she'd often been mistaken for younger than her age. She bent over her knees to cover her faint blush, and squeezed Leah's hand to assure her she was okay before she let go.
Carlisle needed to come back before Carys became a walking-talking pot of sexual frustration. Or, she needed to go running far more than she had been. Or, maybe, she just needed a good dose of holy water.
Jared held something in his hands, and it wasn't until he began to wrestle it over his head that Carys realised it was a t-shirt.
Thank God.
It instantly moulded to his frame, and Carys' thanks died a swift death. She really, truly hoped Jared was older than her gut told her he might be.
"What'm I supposed to have done now?" Jared asked tiredly. In the same breath, his voice deepening to a rumble, he added, "I only came to tell you you shouldn't be here."
Leah crossed her arms, and Carys raised her head to fix him with a disbelieving stare.
"Oh yeah? And why's that, huh? Do you and Sam need the cliff? Do you own this too, or d'you just fancy stealing another thing away from me?" Leah asked angrily, spreading her arms wide to emphasise her point.
Jared pursed his lips, clenched his teeth, and caught the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.
"Believe it or not, Leah, not everything I do has to do with Sam," he protested slowly. "But yeah," he then scoffed, gesturing to the forest behind him and suddenly appearing far younger, losing himself about seven points on Carys' 1-10 scale of attractiveness in the process, "unless you wanna run into him when he gets here in about five minutes, you might wanna head."
"Maybe he's right. We should go," Carys counselled, drawing Jared's mildly surprised gaze.
"You brought the Cullen here again?"
"Not a Cullen," Carys replied, cutting off Leah's response. It wasn't technically a lie. "My name's Carys."
"Well, Care-riss," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and clearly mispronouncing her name on purpose, "you'd definitely want to take yourself away again before Sam gets here. You're the last person who should be on the Rez right now."
"Don't talk to her like that!" Leah growled, rounding on Jared when Carys' jaw dropped. "Sam doesn't get a say in who I hang out with, and neither do you - considering you clearly have about as much taste and loyalty as a dung beetle."
Jared's defensive expression crumbled to one of mild despair.
"You don't know what she's-you know what? Forget it." With one last exasperated glance at the two of them, Jared turned and, oddly enough, wrenched his t-shirt off and shook from the cold as he headed back into the forest, five feet from the trail.
Leah toed the ground and then tossed her head.
"He grew a foot and lost his brain," she supplied sadly. "Before Sam, he was actually pretty cool-don't look at me like that. He's in Sam's cult, which automatically means he's got a screw loose."
"I was actually gonna ask what the hell's in the water 'round here," Carys countered easily, hiding her hurt from the reaction she still garnered from some people on the Rez. "I mean, I've met your mum, so you, I get, but him?" she asked, waving an arm in the direction Jared had disappeared. "What, did you all win the genetic lottery or something?"
"It's the steroids," Leah deadpanned, though she couldn't quite hide her smug expression. "Just don't do a Kim - those are Sam-adjacent abs."
Carys raised her eyebrows and planted her hands firmly on her hips. Joking aside, the mere suggestion she was in any way seriously looking raised her hackles.
"The only abs I want anywhere near my person are attached to Carlisle, thank you very much. It just doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good looking man when I see one."
Leah rolled her eyes and smirked.
"Ah, finally, someone with eyes and common sense," she praised bitterly, putting her headphones back on. "Come on. I'm not staying here if the douchebag's on his way."
Carys replaced her headphones, reset her playlist, and followed after Leah. A combination of residual adrenaline from the fear, annoyance, and fast-tempo music fuelled her; she met Leah stride for stride on the way back, and by the time they reached her car, she'd almost caught up.
She waved Leah off and started the drive back to Forks to shower, change, and make dinner before Monica came round about seven that evening.
Later that night, over post-dinner-and-a-movie cups of coffee, Carys carefully inquired after Richard, and Monica told her that after so long without contact, she felt a kind of helplessness about the situation.
Working for the police, she knew she had neither jurisdiction, nor so much as a shred of evidence that Richard hadn't done exactly what he'd said in his text; but she couldn't shake the feeling that Richard had changed since he was younger - despite his parents, siblings, and other friends believing he hadn't.
"I just keep seeing stuff coming out of Seattle," she explained, holding her mug out for a refill, "thanks. They're dealing with this serial killer and a whole spike in missing persons - not that you'd know it from the news yet... I-I dunno... I'm probably just pissed at him, like Sarah is. But..., Care, what if I'm not? What if-?" she broke off to take a gulp of coffee. It didn't seem as if she could finish the thought aloud.
"What if Richard didn't just drop his dream job to run after some woman he never told you about?" Carys offered, phrasing her words less morbidly than she imagined Monica would have. When Monica nodded, she kept her tone as light as possible, and suggested, "Why don't you visit his place? You've still got a key, haven't you?"
Monica shook her head, and then, after appearing to mull over the idea further, she sighed, pressed her lips to the rim of her mug, and said, "No, his family checked his apartment already..."
"Yeah," Carys agreed, warming her hands on her mug, "but... You've known him for what? Like twenty-five years?"
"Twenty-nine, but thanks for that," Monica dimpled.
Carys pulled her feet up onto the couch and flashed a grin.
"Right. Twenty-five years," she repeated with a wink. "If you take a look at his place, you might feel better about it all? Maybe it could put your mind at ease or something?"
Monica cocked her head to the side and worried her lip between her teeth. Carys took a sip of her coffee, scrunched her nose in distaste, and reached for the sugar pot.
"If I went, would you mind coming with me?" Monica mumbled worriedly several minutes later, still speaking around her mug. "Not 'cause I don't want Sarah knowing I'm going or anything; I'll tell her tonight, but just... I'm on four days straight after tomorrow. I don't really fancy going alone, but it's been seven weeks already."
"Of you want me, then 'course I'll come," Carys assured her, placing her now empty mug on the table. "Haven't had a chance to take the car for a proper spin since Bella."
They agreed to set off early the next afternoon, soon after Sarah had left for the hospital.
When Carys pulled up, Monica was sitting on her porch, waiting for her just out of range of the drizzling rain.
"She packed us sandwiches," Monica complained, dropping a brown paper bag on Carys' lap as she slid into the passenger's seat. "Sandwiches. Like we're kids or something, and we're not gonna eat in Seattle. She's absolutely ridiculous!"
If not for her tone, Carys might have thought she was genuinely peeved.
Carys eyed Monica and tried not to sound too excited when she asked, "Did she make any-"
"Fudge? Uh. Yeah, this is Sarah we're talking about! God. Like we're just gonna..."
They shared a look, glanced at the bag in unison, and then tore it open to get at the food. Carys started with a sandwich, so she could save her fudge for last, while Monica did the opposite.
"I love Sarah!" Carys called out five minutes later, right before stuffing another chunk of fudge in her mouth. "Can I marry her instead of Carlisle one day?"
"Mm-mm, I'm spending the rest of my life with her," Monica replied, mid-bite of her sandwich. She covered her mouth to cheerfully add, "You know, since she started baking again, I've put on like six pounds?"
"Om'g'd," Carys mumbled around the fudge. She swallowed hard, and repeated, "Oh my god, do you think if I asked her for fudge as my wedding present-"
"You!? I'm saving that for when the stupid law changes. Imagine it." Monica held her hands in the air and stared off into the distance longingly. "An entire wedding cake... But when you cut into it? Fudge. Pure. Fudge."
Carys moaned in delight, popped the last of the meltingly delicious sweets into her mouth, turned her head to check the road, and guided her car away from the curb.
"You should open a sandwich shop and call it that," Carys announced once she'd swallowed. "Like a fudge speakeasy where you need a password for the good stuff."
Monica clapped her hands together. "Yes! And we can just tie Sarah up in the back and make her bake all day."
"I'm pretty sure what you just suggested there is involuntary servitude at best," Carys informed her dryly as she turned them onto the main road through town.
Monica debated back and forth with herself, a little too cheerfully, about whether it was justifiable, or if she could convince Sarah it was a good idea, until they hit the freeway and Carys reminded her about Stockholm Syndrome and the fact she was a police officer.
They spent the rest of the journey distracting Monica from her increasing worry by chatting about what Sarah's fudge could be used for; they were discussing whether it had the structural integrity to build a house when Carys pulled the car up a block away from Richard's apartment building, and parked between two cars which looked about five times as expensive as hers.
Carys was a little surprised; Richard lived in a pretty nice part of the city.
Dream job or no, she hadn't quite expected that level of expense. He was continuing to pay for the apartment while he was away, which suggested he had more than enough in the bank to support himself (wherever he was), with enough left over to maintain his life in Seattle until he returned.
She thought about that while she waited with Monica outside Richard's building for half an hour, and for another fifteen minutes outside his door.
She didn't particularly mind the silence while Monica geared herself up for what she might find, as long as Monica was comfortable.
"I'll wait outside - unless you really want me in there," Carys said when Monica finally unlocked the door and pressed it open. "It's not really my place to go snooping - and I can keep a lookout, if you like?"
Monica nodded, seemingly relieved, and slipped inside, closing the door behind her, though not before Carys caught a glimpse of moss green walls within.
Carys backed against the hallway wall and slid down to sit on the floor. Even the red hallway carpet was on the side of plush.
She'd played about twelve games of snake, texted Sarah to give her an update, and was doing pretty well in a thirteenth round, by the time Monica returned to the hallway with a massive grin on her face.
Carys sighed in relief and stood up, staggering as her legs regained blood flow. Monica's expression alone was enough to clear all concerns from her mind.
"All good?" Carys asked, hugging Monica when she headed straight across the hall to wrap her arms around her waist. All Carys could see of her head was a mass of red hair.
"All good," Monica mumbled against Carys' shoulder. "There's even a picture of him and some goth looking girl stuffed in his mattress, labelled a week before he left."
"A goth, huh?"
"Yeah, well, totally the type of girl he'd run off with, given the chance. No offence, but I think it was the novelty that got him with you."
Carys made an appropriate murmur, though she couldn't help a pang of self-consciousness at being called a novelty. After a while she realised Monica might not let go on her own, and squeezed her friend one last time before easing back.
Monica agreed to the question of grabbing an early dinner before the words were completely out of Carys' mouth.
Finding a place to eat was easy, and around large bites of her burger, Monica filled Carys in on what she'd found. She also admitted she'd been more assured by the absence of some things than the presence of others.
"Mm. His favourite watch, too!" she exclaimed after a long pause, fiddling with the straw of her half-finished Coke. "Not the one he usually wears or anything - it's this ridiculous Mickey Mouse one he got years ago, but it's just as important to him as the necklace his parents got him when he graduated high school."
She took a long draw from her glass and jabbed lightly at the tabletop with her spare hand to indicate she was still talking.
"It's this whole thing," she explained once she'd finished, "they wanted to get him a watch, he wanted a necklace - one've those chains-" Monica mimed a small chain, and then waved her hand dismissively. "-anyway. If he was planning on leaving for a while, he'd take Mickey and leave the gold watch. He took Mickey! Now I can just be pissed at him instead of worried," she added finally, dropping back in her chair.
Carys grinned. "Good! I mean, not good when Richard gets back to an earful, but good that you're not worried anymore."
"Thanks. You were right-"
"Imma stop you right there," Carys protested, holding her hand out. "I've just been watching a ton of Maury and Oprah recently, and t'be honest, I was a bit iffy about it too."
Monica laughed. "I thought you were doing that whole running thing to stop you overthinking stuff? Isn't daytime TV just going to make things worse?"
"Yeah, well, that's about twice a week now. What d'you think I do the next day when my legs are on fire?" Carys' lips twisted, and she hid her face in her hands and let out a groan. "Now I just want to butt in even more, but I'm holding my tongue after the whole Bella incident."
"Ah, she'll get over it," Monica promised, after she'd laughed again at Carys' residual mortification, and thrown her half of the bill, plus tip as agreed in lieu of gas money, onto the table. "But remember, you made me promise not to let you let her off too easily when she does."
Carys let out a distinctly Charlie like sigh, which left her grinning whilst she fished her half from her purse and added it to the small pile of notes.
They stood from their chairs, put their coats on, and Carys was in the process of sweeping her long hair from her collar when she said:
"I guess I really shouldn't've said anything about it in the first place, but-"
"No." Monica slapped Carys on the back and shoved her towards the entrance of the small restaurant, earning herself a light kick in return. "I don't even know her, and it's obvious she's clung on to that Black kid like a lifeline - and to hell with anyone else! The only reason Charlie doesn't see it is 'cause he's so happy his daughter might end up with his best friend's son. Men!"
Carys laughed to hide her unease.
Even though she chimed in, when necessary, with comments on Monica's commentary of a book she'd been reading, Carys was only really half-listening on the journey back to Forks.
Esme knew she'd hardly seen Bella for weeks, but... Had Alice seen their argument in the first place? Or that it had come about after Bella had been sent to the emergency room twice in the space of a week, from injuries sustained "helping out in Jacob's garage"?
Carys had promised, before Bella had all but cut her out, not to make a big issue of things which didn't concern her, and Esme was well aware of Bella's injuries, but that only made Carys worry more.
What would happen if Carlisle brought Edward back and Bella was with Jacob? Or worse, for Jacob, if Bella was using him as a substitute for what she'd lost.
Someone was going to get their heart broken, either way.
That night, Carys fell into an uneasy slumber, plagued by dreams of Monica's flaming red hair, Richard, Carlisle, Leah, and Bella.
She'd woken with a start in the early hours of the morning, when she'd been so sure she'd opened her eyes to see a flash of red hair and a white hand against her windowpane.
Carys came to the decision that her dream must have followed her into the moment of half-consciousness between the realms of sleep and reality when a howl went up from the forest, and she fell back against her pillows, where sleep beckoned her to instant and complete oblivion.
Bright light streamed through her curtains when she woke again, and though she tried to remember details of the night before, all she could recall of her dreams was a single image, clear as day:
Richard, lying in a dark alley, blood-soaked and pale.
A/N: I don't mean to make Bella out any particular way (because she has her reasons, and we'll see that soon) but Carys is kind of outside her lunch group, and she pretty much surprised all of them when she started being friendly again, then kind of made a point of wanting to bring Jacob along too despite even his reservations, but anyway... I've been reading New Moon to reference Bella's character in these chapters is my point!
Thank you to: chellekathrynnn, Ella (I agree with everything! Honestly, it would be a bit against Carys' character to be happy with knowing something she shouldn't - in that type of way, anyway!), marylopez0812 (thank you for your review!), TheQueenofGoodbyes, souverian, BMBMDooDoo- Doo- Doo- Doo (Yes! The type of trust Rosalie must have for Emmett is immense, and I think their relationship is sort of lost in Twilight, when really it would have potentially been one of the strongest in the books!), Adela (yay!), Love. Fiction. 2020 (phew! Thank you!), and Bimbumel2 for your reviews since last chapter.
