Ultimately, both demons traveled down the street holding one handle each on the box full of Alois' mail. Few people stopped them on their way back to the car since they looked busy, but the menace definitely knew he would be once they arrived home. He would be going through each and every one of those letters and would definitely have to reply to the Witan's letter first and formally. He would politely decline their request, as he held no interest in governing. In truth, Ciel felt as though his spouse should be more ambitious, but also thought that he should check his mail more often.
"What on earth is in these?" he lamented as the two of them fixed the box securely in the back seat. Curiously, he picked up an envelope, only to have it playfully swatted out of his hand.
"Isn't it against the law to open other people's mail?" Alois questioned, but that didn't help him any. Without a single word, Ciel stared directly into his eyes while picking up the letter.
"Oops." he said, tearing the envelope slightly. "Might as well open it the rest of the way."
"Why does it being illegal make you want to do it?"
"I have had a deficiency in shadiness lately. I need this."
In a flash, Alois took the letter from him before he could open it all the way. "Just get in the fucking car, bad boy." the blonde ordered, pointing at the door. Reluctantly, his spouse obeyed while he took the letter out and hopped in the driver's seat.
"It's a fan letter." he informed. "They're thankful for everything I've done for the town… yadda yadda yadda… I'll read it thoroughly, later… In the meantime, you look like you're absolutely dying to say something."
"I just wanted to remind you that we were doing to get biscuits as well, is all."
"Yeah. Let's go do that, then."
With that, the car started and the duo headed off again. Next was a simple trip to the store. Nothing remarkable. All they would do is walk in, let Ciel pick out his snacks, pay for them, and walk out. Somehow, they managed to find parking, despite it being a little bit of a walk. Getting out of the vehicle, they locked it before taking each other's hand like they always did. Their fingers intertwined and they chatted as they approached the store, oblivious to any sort of danger this may attract, given their species, but this blissful ignorance was eventually shattered when they heard a voice call out to them.
"Oi! Go bumfuck each other elsewhere, you airy faeries! There's kids here!"
Turning around, the Phantomhives didn't expect to see much. They saw a group of twenty-something-year-old men in tracksuits and denim jackets giggling like schoolboys while the shortest of the bunch beamed proudly. Given his expression and the fact that he took the forefront, the duo correctly assumed that it was him who addressed them so rudely.
"We're holding hands." Alois said, not appearing amused in the slightest. "What? You wank on your lonesome so much that you can't tell the difference between that and sex?"
Immediately, the self-appointed comedic genius of the bunch lost his haughty grin and frowned deeply while his associates snickered at him. With that, he stepped forward, prompting the others to do the same. His stance was aggressive and his jaw presented itself as he scowled.
"Think you're funny, don't you, poof?" he hurled back before giving Alois a shove that didn't even make him flinch. Now, Alois could tell that he gave it his entire bodyweight, but it simply wasn't enough to move a demon. Instead, it made the blonde laugh.
"Nah, but you do, unfortunately."
"Yeah. I do. What I don't do is give out blowies to ass-pirates."
"Alright, you stopped being funny." the menace huffed, reaching out and gripping the other man's throat. In a flash, the stranger's expression changed to surprise and then horror as he was lifted into the air with one hand. His friends were of no help to him, as several of them took a step back from the scene as they looked on helplessly. "Listen up, wank stain, I'm gonna give yous five seconds to piss off, or else I'm gonna tear off your fuckin' legs and kick your ass with them so hard, you're gonna have athlete's fuckin' foot on your fuckin' tongue. Understand?"
Feebly, the man nodded what he could of his head before being unceremoniously tossed aside, leaving him to scramble to his feet and run away. The man skinned his knees and shins on the concrete, but it was certainly worth it. His allies, however, watched after him for a moment before turning to stare at Alois in hopes of understanding what just happened. Alois didn't have an explanation. All he had was a warning.
"Well?" demanded the Lion while raising his voice. "That still stands for you lot, as well! Bugger off!" As they disbanded, he rolled his eyes with a huff, shaking his head as he took his husband's arm again.
Leaning in, Ciel felt compelled to say to him: "Is it an inappropriate time to tell you that I find you extremely attractive right now?"
"No, but I'm not really up to flirting at the moment." Alois sighed. "That kind of shit ruins my day… Is it just me, or has it been more frequent lately?"
"It does feel that way… I wonder why… Think it might be because of those 'British Nationalists' or whatever they're called?"
"Probably. If there's anybody making this country go down the can, it's them. They're lucky I don't have the emotional energy to deal with them. They'd be scraping their mate off the sidewalk."
"Sorry?" Ciel answered, leaning in to hear his spouse better. The sound of his voice was partially drowned out by police sirens approaching.
"Fuck the tories!" Alois projected in summation while the two of them entered the store. It was much quieter in there, but it was close enough that the cars could be heard through the glass.
"Is that a promise?"
"I will kick the living shit out of you." the blonde warned, causing the other to throw up his free hand.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding..."
"Damn right, you are." Looking down, he raised a brow when saw his husband grab a shopping basket. "How many packs do you plan on getting?"
"Whatever fate decides." very cryptically answered Ciel, giving the other demon a smile.
He actually ended up thinking very carefully about which kinds he was buying and took a lot longer than Alois could even imagine. The entire time, the Watchdog was teased about it, but took the task very seriously, buying more than one package. He was then made fun of for doing so by his adoring husband.
The poor bluenette was poked at all the way to the checkout counter while he paid for his purchases, but they were both jolly despite the sirens growing louder. As they turned toward the exit, they could see blue flashing lights on the other side of the glass and wondered whether or not they should feel excited, worried, or vexed. This turned into the couple debating on what to do.
"Those look like bomb squad people." spoke the Watchdog. "Think it could be a suitcase?"
"All the way over here? This is a long way off from the mall, don't you think? How does it fit in on the map?"
"I don't know. Should we go see what the problem is?"
"Well, if it might be the Sudoku Killer, I guess we gotta." Alois answered with a shrug, taking a step and coaxing the other demon to walk with him.
On their way out, some men came in, telling people to evacuate, which is something they really should have done as soon as they suspected there might be an explosive. It was absurd. Regardless, the duo stepped forward, wading through the crowd of police officers while flashing their badges, only to arrive at a bomb squad member carefully trying to open a plain brown suitcase. It was a familiar-looking one at that, prompting the others to sigh. Sure enough, it was precisely as they suspected.
"I think I have a theory." Ciel said. "I'm not sure how it's being done, however..."
"Do tell." his husband replied, staring at the pile of human fingers that startled the anti-bomb squad with an amount of calm that would be considered "unusual" to outsiders.
"I think we may be being followed."
