"I didn't realise that you have a guest."
Penelope turned her attention from watching Ellie sleep to Erin, who was standing in the doorway of her office, a bemused smile on her lips. "One second?" The woman nodded, and Penelope smiled as she got up and pulled the blanket she had fished out of her closet a little higher around the child's shoulders. Then she went over to Erin's side and smiled at her. "I need some coffee anyway, so let's head down to the break room?"
Erin gave her a small smile as she nodded and then they were making their way down to the break room, and Penelope made a beeline for the coffee pot, picking up a clean mug from the counter and filling it with a little cream and sugar before adding the coffee. Looking to Erin, she held up the pot, only for the woman to shaker her head. "I was going to talk to you about helping me source a birthday gift for Bruce, but then I saw that you had a guest. Who is she?"
"That's Ellie Spicer. Her dad, Matt? Was killed by that awful serial killer in California. She's run away from her foster parents, because there is some serious abuse going on there, and she didn't know where else to turn, since her case worker won't listen to her. Derek knows that we need to send her back, but we're hoping to find either her mother or arrange for a new foster family. She's been through so much in her life, it's just not fair that she experience abuse, too. I know, I probably should have come to you right away with this, but I wasn't thinking clearly. Especially since this case is so, so, soul sucking."
"The cases lately have been rather brutal, haven't they?" Penelope nodded as she snagged a cookie from the plate in front of them, breaking off a piece and popping it into her mouth. "So, before we talk about my dilemma, I have to ask. Were you the one who encouraged David to buy me the most extravagant bonsai I have ever seen?"
She choked a little as a piece of cookie got stuck in her throat, and she blushed guiltily as she nodded. "I wasn't expecting him to actually follow through and purchase one for you. He walked into a disagreement that Aaron and I were having, and he teasingly asked about the best way to get into your good graces. I said that you preferred bonsai and succulents to cut flowers, and I guess he took those words to heart. Is it here? Can I see it?"
Erin laughed as she shook her head a little. "You both are incorrigible. But yes, you can, if you think your young charge will still sleep for a few more minutes."
"Ellie should be out cold for hours yet. She hasn't slept a full night since she was moved to this last house, since the father there has wandering hands. I've been good, Erin, and I haven't done anything illegal. Much though I wanted to destroy his life."
Erin patted her arm as they got up and made their way out of the break room and out of the bullpen, over to her office. Helen grinned at her as they disappeared into Erin's inner sanctum, and Penelope let out a soft gasp when she saw the new bonsai tree that dominated the corner of the room closest to the table. "I know, Penny. This is an Omono style bonsai, and while it's not the most expensive, it is a bit overkill. Though I'll never tell him that."
"Of course not!" Penelope sighed as she reached out and ran her hand along a few of the leaves on the tree, a contented smile spreading across her face. "Now, since I'm here, how about we log onto your computer and see about finding Bruce's birthday gift?"
"All right." Erin crossed the room and woke her computer up, calling up her email as Penelope joined her, taking a seat on the corner of her desk. "He mentioned this in passing, but I haven't had any luck in finding it through traditional means."
"Oh, that is a nice moped. Let me write down the information and can you give me until the end of the day tomorrow? I will probably find it quicker, but with this case, I want to have a bit of a buffer, especially since Ellie's situation is so pressing."
"Of course, Penny." Erin's smile seemed a bit fuzzy, and Penelope frowned a little as caught a whiff of alcohol on her breath. Erin flushed a little, which told her all she needed to know. "Mimosas with our morning budget meeting."
"You don't need to explain, Erin. And I'm sorry that it always looks like I'm judging you."
"Maybe you have every right to."
Penelope frowned a little as she cocked her head to one side. "Come again?"
"Mark has insinuated that my alcohol consumption will affect my attempts to get even shared custody of the children. I've been trying so hard not to imbibe quite so much, but there are so many opportunities to have a drink in my line of work. And I would bet you dollars to doughnuts that if you were to look in Dave's desk, or Aaron's, you'd find at least one open bottle of alcohol."
"And where do you keep your bottle?" she asked gently, as she hurriedly wrote down the information for Bruce's gift onto the back of her hand.
"Over here," Erin replied as she rolled away from the desk and pulled open a long drawer against the back wall, beneath the pictures of her children. "This is my dirty little secret."
Penelope tried not to gasp when she saw the number of bottles that filled the drawer. "That is quite the collection."
"You don't have to be nice, you just have to keep my secret. Mark doesn't know about this, I've hidden it since I became Section Chief. I have a different type for every mood, every frustration. I don't always drink to get drunk, but I have the feeling that I do use it as a crutch. But I'm not certain I'd know who I am without it, either. I mean it, Penelope. If you care for my children, even in the smallest amount, you'll keep this to yourself?"
Erin looked down at the floor, as if she couldn't bear to meet Penelope's gaze. Slowly, Penelope closed the drawer before crouching down and picking up Erin's hand. "What about yourself? Don't you care about if I care for you?"
"You've been more of a friend to me than I could ever ask for, dear, but my children are dearer than my self." Penelope nodded as she reached out for Erin's hand, clasping it lightly as she struggled to find the right words to reply to Erin's statement. "Kindness, true kindness, like what you've shown me in the months since Haley's murder, has meant the world, but I need to think of my children rather than be selfish. Because while I might have come to thoroughly adore your friendship, they're my babies. I can't lose my babies, Penny."
Erin's voice broke on her name, and she knew that she would take this secret to the grave if she had to. As she tugged on Erin's hand, the woman leaned forward and allowed Penelope to pull her into a tight hug. The momentum knocked her onto her ass and while she fumbled to keep Erin from falling as well, her hands brushed against her chest which just flustered her more, and then she was flat on her back, staring up into heartbroken blue eyes. Tilting her head to one side, Penelope went extract herself from beneath Erin, only to be stopped by her hand pressing her shoulder to the floor. "Erin?"
"I, I'm sorry," she breathed out as she suddenly got to her feet, reaching her hand out to Penelope in order to help her up. Penelope smiled at her, trying to stop the pounding of her heart and her mind from racing around with the crazy thought that for a moment, it looked like Erin was going to kiss her. "I should let you get back to work."
Erin's face had become the blank mask that Penelope hated so much, even more now, knowing that she was the one who had created that mask in that moment. "All right. As long as you agree to let me come in here at five and we can talk some more, off the clock. I know that we don't have to worry about cameras in here, since you handle such sensitive information. Because I am not going to wait around for you to reach out to me anymore. We're going to talk, in depth, and try to get to the bottom of what's making it so easy for you to turn to a physical crutch when you have an emotional crutch right here in front of you."
"I don't want you to be my crutch, I want you to…" There was a long pause, and Penelope waited for her to finish her thought, not wanting to push her. "I want you to be my friend. My dear friend."
"And dear friends can still be a soft place to rest your head after a long and weary journey alone." Erin nodded a few times before meeting Penelope's eye once more. Her mask faltered for just a moment, and she could see a tender flame of hope resting there. "So, I'll be back at five, and we'll talk. Really talk." Before Erin could protest once more, she turned and left the office, hoping against hope that she could help Erin stave off a more serious problem. "I just have too many balls in the air," she murmured to herself as she stepped back into her own office, checking to see that Ellie was still all right and sleeping. "But I will take care of all my chicks."
