This is the rewritten version of my second chapter, because, as Angela the Platypus mentioned, I didn't examine the deeper character in Murtagh. Hopefully, this is better!
2
The King's Messanger
The door behind Kari flew open. She whirled around. Murtagh strode in, as he had done many times, accompanied with two guards. He turned his head and nodded dismissively. The guards turned and left.
Kari glared at him. It didn't matter what decision she gave to the King, she would never forgive him. For putting her into this position, for endangering her family. No, she would never forgive him. Jadis growled from behind her but remained silent.
"Good afternoon, Kari" he said cordially.
"That's Karisana to you!" Kari snapped, "I've told you again and again: only my friends and family call me that." She hated it. He always put on this façade of friendliness, but she never believed it.
"Please," he insisted. "I know that you'll probably say the same thing that you've said every time I've come here, but I urge you to reconsider."
"I don't know yet. Give me more time," Kari replied instantly.
"Please, Kari. It really is for the best," he told her.
"Karisana!"
"Yes," Murtagh continued, "but the fact is you've been here for nearly two months. You've had more than enough time to make up your mind. Normally, the King would have demanded an answer by now, but I've convinced him to give you a little while to think."
"I told you I'm not ready!"
"The King won't wait forever, Karisana."
Kari had no reply for that.
After a pause, Murtagh asked, "Why do you have such trouble deciding?"
Kari replied in a question. "Why did you choose to serve him?"
"I didn't have a choice" Murtagh answered, smiling grimly.
"Nonsense, there's always a choice," she informed him.
"Not if I wanted to still be standing here."
Kari couldn't answer again. She glared at him, fury filling her. Why did he act like this? Like she was some silly, confused little girl who would hopefully see the light soon?
"Why do you think I should serve him?" she asked suddenly.
Murtagh smiled. "Well, first of all, your family would be safe." Kari scowled.
"Second, you'll be able to learn things you thought were impossible. You could weild more power than any noble, Karisana. And lastly, as long as you serve then King faithfully, then you'll be able to live however you want, and no one will force you to do anything you don't want to do."
Kari bit her lip. It was as if he had known the problems of her life at home.
Her father being a well-off member of the working class, Kari had the chance to be married of to a higher one, such as a merchant house. However, her somewhat willful and tom-boyish nature had caused more than one shouting match at home, especially when Kari had been younger. Kari simply had no interest in a higher-class life. Her father had always insisted otherwise, though, and she knew it was only a matter of time before he would have his way.
Murtagh let the silence stretch for a while, before saying kindly, "I really do hope you will take my advice. I do mean you well."
That touched a nerve. Kari jumped up of the fine bedspreads, her face red with anger. "I wouldn't take your advice in a million years!" she snarled. "You don't care about me! If you had, you wouldn't have kidnapped me or my family!"
Murtagh's face seemed to close. In a flat, expressionless voice, he said, "I came to inform you that the King has been away on business in Terim. Someone rebels have made off with the warship, the Dragon Wing. He will be back in a week. He will expect your answer then, and if you have none, he will force it from you, no matter what I say."
"I ask you then, to think over what I have said," he finished, turning to leave. He looked back once before he reached the door. There was an almost pitying expression on his face. Then he was gone.
Jadis, who had remained silent this whole time suddenly spoke. His voice was quiet and comforting. Oh, Kari…
Kari closed her eyes, fighting back tears. She would not cry.
Finally she managed to say, "Only one week left then."
I know, Jadis said sadly, but don't abandon hope. Something could happen.
"I guess," she said sadly. Then, she turned away and curled up on the finely embroidered sheets, fighting to keep her raging emotions under control.
Her stalling hadn't worked. It was over.
I am currently working on Chapter 3, and now that the bulk of my big projects are gone for the moment, I can devote more time to finishing it!
