New items at the Circus' souvenir stand have been added. Sil had picked up one in particular. She's been waiting for. Puyo Puyo Circus Stylized Playing Cards. She needed to brush up on her cards tricks.
But instead, she procrastinated. She played solitaire. And as she did she left the joker cards faced up.
One card has a single Pierrot. Namely Silvana. Amitie's Pierrot mask had adopted a pink heart design on her mask instead of Sil's green diamond. Done solely to make it easier to tell them apart.
The second joker card had a cartoon of Pierrot and Pierrose holding hands over the other's shoulder with their free hands reaching outward. Sil was unhooded with a mask. And the winking Amitie hooded but unmasked. That way it was clear as say there were two.
Amitie still kept avoiding her these past few days. She sorely missed her at practice and ballet. It distracted her from everything.
Sig said he was gonna make sure she's coming by.
Today they will make up.
Chapter 63: Sisters
Amitie and Silvana stood together face-to-face in Sil's living room. No masks.
Sig had dragged the blonde by the wrist under vague pretenses and then left them alone.
Amitie took the first step. It was a slow step. Sil admired Amitie's bravery there. She took an awkward step as well.
An eternity later they finally embraced. Sil did have to tell Amitie to hug her a little higher where there were no wounds.
"I'm sorry for what I did and what I said…"
"I know you didn't mean it… It's just… Just…" *Sniffle* Amitie stained Silvana's striped polo shirt. "Why would you? HOW COULD YOU?!" Amitie grew angry. She pushed Sil but she quickly regained her balance. "S-Sorry!"
"Ooow… Say, Ammy. Why don't we lie down on the comfy couch and let it all out?" She patted her sister's back.
Amitie quietly nodded. *Sniff*
They lied down. Both sisters continued to comfort each other in the same way lying sideways on the couch.
"Why did I deserve that push, Ammy?" Sil gently asked.
Amitie howled with tears before she could answer. "Why would you do something so dangerous? YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN KILLED AGAI-HEN!" *Sniff* "I'd never forgiven you if you did!"
"…" For a moment Sil believed she was back in hell.
"I always wanted a sister! I finally get one. And I don't even get to enjoy having one for a full year before she wanna get killed."
Silvana gulped. "S-Sooo… You saw trough meeee?"
"Are you kidding me, Sis! You actually wanted to die?!" Amitie could not believe it. Her fists clenched. She pounded her adoptive sister as hard as she could out of anger.
"OOOOOOOWOW!" Sil was panting rapidly. "Shhhtop. If you keep opening my wounds I might die! Owowowow!"
"Eep!" Amitie got even more protection. "Please don't die, Sil. Life is precious."
'Hm…' Sil wanted to disagree. She knew first hand that there's life after death. "Don't worry, if it helps to make you feel better… I figured I'd have a 60/40 chance of surviving."
"You, freaking dumb dummy dummiton!" Amitie flared up. "Why would you take those odds! Even if it's to prevent new Doppelgangers from suffering as you have! Your safety is important too, Sis! You should've taken the kindergartener difficulty."
"…" Sil didn't wanna talk about it. Amitie nailed everything that she shouldn't have done that day. "I'M SO SORRY, LI'L SIS! I did it for a selfish reason…"
"Sis…"
…
…
"Old habits…"
"Bold nab its?"
"You know how miserable I was as a kid, right?"
Amitie nodded.
"Well. It should go without saying, I just wanted to stop living."
"Does Sig know?"
"What doesn't he know? He choked up. He understands. There's just a little problem I have…"
"A-And what that…?"
"…"
"Growing up, when I snapped out of my programming for a while to realize my lot in life… I searched for the most dangerous situations I could find myself in. The most dangerous dungeons, I taunted the toughest opponents in real combat. And regrettably… At the time I came out on top every time…"
"Wh-Why! Okay, I get why… B-B-But wh-why d-d-didn't y-you just… just… you know…" The younger clown, rather uncomfortably, did a noose tieing motion.
"Fheh." Sil smiled as if she reacted to a mildly amusing joke. "Here's an undocumented Doppelganger fact: You can depress us, you can break us, but we will recover. You can't keep us down for long… Trust me, I tested this on two of my fellow Doppelgangers, and I've experienced this myself. We can, let's say, get crippling depression, or a little something EVERYTHING WE HOLD DEAR GET DESTROYED! BUT WE CAN'T JUST END OURSELVES!" Doppelganger Arle hyperventilated.
"S-Sil." Amitie gave a gentle hug. It calmed her down.
"Heh… Li'l Sis~ Fwufufufu~ You don't have to worry about me killing myself, Ammy."
*Slam*
"Ow!"
"Not funny!"
"Yow, notajoke! Ow!"
…
"We can't end our own suffering. Fudoushi, Mamono, _ _, and everyone involved. Maybe even Gramps… Those bastards. But hey, look on the bright side, Ammy."
"What bright side? My Big Sis' suicidal…"
"Not exactly suicidal. I'm not allowed to think about it for long. I will forget I even brought it up in a minute. The word you're looking for is Death Wish. And death wishes aren't my thing anymore. Trust me. I love you, Li'l Sis. And you're not the only one. If I could've killed myself I wouldn't have known you. I wouldn't have known Sig. I would've never thought running a Circus could actually be fun."
"Sis… We'll make your life the best it can be."
"Well, maybe don't try too hard… Give your Big Sister a big hug okay? B-But not too tight!"
"Puhlease stay alive!"
"Trust me. Now please practice again. The Circus has had an inactive Pierrot for far too long"
"Yes, Sis!"
'Did she really think, with the life I had lived, I wouldn't have had a zillion death wishes? She's so innocent compared to me, it makes me jealous. Heh, I'll show her the playing cards when we're done here.'
"And now, before we move on to math. Silvana has an announcement to make." Accord spoke to her class.
"Thank you, Accord. Friends, hopefully-ex-future-sister-in-law, and Arle. I, super-powerful, Silvana Vibitia Pierrot, I am going pacifist."
The reactions everyone had were varied. Everyone was some degree of inquisitive though.
"Heh. Yeah. I wanna tone down the use of potentially harmfully magic, I don't wanna fight anymore except for self-defense because I'm not stupid. Why? Get into contact Fudoushi in a month and see your spirit diminish. That's what! I might make an exception for Puyo Puyo here and there. But you know me. As much fun it can be… It's like a 7/20 chance I'll be okay after a match." All of this did hurt the clown standing in proximity of Arle. She to tried to deliver her announcement in a way so she'll get a minimum amount of questions. "I wanna resolve things as peacefully as possible in the future whenever I can. This is my choice."
*Later at recess…*
Sil walked up to Arle while hiding behind Sig. "Don't think I don't see you behind your security blanket, Silvana." Arle joked.
"My security blanket." Sil held the bug-loving boy tighter.
"So anyway… Pacifism, huh? Good for you." Arle said cheerily. Partially for her own safety.
"Gu Guu~"
"Don't know why… You're not that violent towards anyone 'sides me…" 'She can't be doing this for me…'
'Better be grateful. I'm doing this for my sake and by extension your's.' "Arle… I have a little story for you I remembered recently."
Arle tried to figure out to expect. Was it gonna be a drama or a joke?
"It involves you and one of your many Doppelgangers and myself…"
"Sil, a-are you?"
"Sis! Don't!"
"Miss Sil!"
"When I was a wee non-clown, I got kidnapped by one of your Doppelgangers and got tortured by her for a loooooooooooong time. And that's why I can't stand your stupid undeserving face." Doppel explained.
"Huh?" Was the initial reaction of everyone who knew the real her.
But in Arle, a lightbulb went off. "Oh! That makes so much sense now. You can't look at my face without reliving those days, can you?"
"Gu gugu?"
"Sounds plausible. You poor thing."
"Don'tyoutouchme!"
"OKAY!"
Author's Notes:
I hope it didn't come across as gratuitous suicide sympathy points bait. It's no secret that suicide is an easy plot device, whether be it be an attempt or the real deal. It was just a logical question I had. How did she hold out those 11 years?
My stance on suicide is a case by case basis. It hasn't happened to someone I know. It did to my sister though, I think.
Next up: Raffine screwed up.
