A/N-So here we are again.I like that you people enjoy this because after all I'm only writing for you guys.And for the typing practice.With that awkward note,I bring you my random assortment of funny stuff.And the first one is Antoinette and co.

Disclaimer-If my name was Andrew Lloyd Webber than I could say that I own it.It's not,so I don't.I also don't have anything to do with That 70s Show.I just watch it because it's awesome.
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Firmin,Phillipe,and Erik walk into Phillipe's house and right there at the door is Andre.

"Hey guys." said Andre.There was a gleam of joy shining in his eyes. "Today is friendship day! And on account of this momentousday I have gotten all of my friends gifts." He than goes and guides each one of his friends to the gift he has gotten them.He leads Firmin over to the couch and gives him a magazine. "For my friend who likes to stare at pictures." He gives Phillipe a platter of wrapped up candies. "For my friend with the sweet tooth almost as big as mine." He than leads Erik over to a nice looking music box. "For my friend who adores music above all." He than takes a step back to watch his friends enjoy their gifts.Not all is what it appears to be though for soon things go amiss.

As Phillipe popsabout five little pieces of candyinto his mouth he soon spitsthem out and starts to make a wretching noise."Mon Dieu! These are disgusting!"

When Erik opened up the music box,snakes came jumping out at him causing him to jump back a few feet."AHHHHH!" screamed the young man. "What is the meaning of this?"

And when Firmin sat down, a large farting noise was produced.He looks up in embarrassment. "That wasn't me!" shouts the boy defensively.

They all turn and see Andre laughing so hard that he has to clutch his sides."THAT WAS AWESOME! A TRIPLE BURN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Prank day is awesome!"

Phillipe looks at him in shock. "What did you just feed me?"

"Oh,I just injected the chocolate with dirt." said the prankmaster casually.

"What!" Phillipe than grabs a toothbrush that just happens to be on the table and starts to scrape his tongue.

Erik looks at him furiously. "You little git! You did this all just for your amusement! I swear that if I find my lasso than..."

"You mean like the one that's just sitting on the table right there." offered Andre in what seemed like a stupid gesture.

Erik gives him a look that is both appreciative and murderous. "Thank you.Now when I kill you,it can also be attributed to your own stupidity." He than picks up the lasso with both of his hands.He tries to adjust the knot when he finds that he can't move his hands. "What the deuce?"

Andre's smile gets even wider. "Super glue is a marvelous invention." said the prankster airily.

Phillipe chuckles at Erik's little predicament. "Funny.I am just glad that I got that filthy tast off my mouth." The Viscount tries to put the toothbrush back on the table,but finds that it will not leave his hand. "Oh no!" cried he in horror. "I have been glued." admitted the noble in dismay.

Firmin nodded his head in approval. "You have really outdone yourself Andre. You knew that Phillipe couldn't just wait to become clean ,and you also took advantage of Erik's blind rage.I congratulate you." He holds out his hand to Andre for him to shake.Andre takes the hand and yanks it forcing Firmin from his seat.Andre starts laughing even harder than before,for the seat cushion that Firmin had been sitting on was firmly attached to his buttocks.

Erik smirks at this. "It appears he also took advantage of his friend that likes to sit."

Firmin shoots Erik a dirty look. "Shut it." He than redirects his attention to Andre. "I'm going to kill you!"

Andre laughs at the threat. "How?Are you going to squish me with your cushion butt!" Firmin tries to lunge at him,but Andre avoids it. "Hahahahahahahaha. Cushion butt!" He than sees the other two get up and try to attack him. "Crud." He than runs out of the house as fast as he can.

Later Phillipe,Firmin,and Erik are standing in the kitchen gathered around a giant pot.

Erik is staring into the pot with an evil gleam in his eye. "He'll never suspect when we get him with this giant bucket of oatmeal!" He than gives an evil laugh which makes the other two boys back up in fear. "I don't know why you just won't let me strangle him.It would be clean,quick,and above all easy."

Phillipe shakes his head. "No Erik.The point is to get him back,not steal his life so that he can't feel the burning humiliation of what he put us through." explained the Viscount to Erik.

"Whatever suits your fancy." mutters Erik darkly.He keeps on stirring the contents of the pot when the Persian comes walking in.

"Why hello.What are all of you up to?" asked the foreigner innocently.

They all knew that the Persian was against any forms of revenge even if it be for laughs so they tried to come up with a lie.

"We are cooking a meal for...for...for...uhhhhh." stuttered the nervous Firmin.

"FOR CHARITY!" shouted Erik.

"That's right!" exclaimed Phillipe. "It's an oatmeal charity drive for the poor."

The Persian scrunched his face up in doubt. "Okay." He than walks over to the pot and tastes some of it.He soon gags at the taste. "Goodness! They may be poor ,but I they do have taste buds.Try putting in some spices or condiments." And with that suggestion the Persian left them to their little project.

Ten minutes later Erik and Phillipe are standing at the back entrance of the opera house.They have just perched thebucket ofoatmeal above the door.

Phillipe smirks at the bucket. "I can't wait to see Andre's face when that oatmeal comes pouring on him."

"I still think it would have been better to strangle him,but whatever you think works." said Erik who was still upset at the prospect of not being able to strangle someone.

Firmin comes rushing up to them. "I told Andre to meet us ,and I just saw someone coming this way!" With that news they all look expectantly at the door.

Suddenly Andre burst in from behind them.He is flushed and excited. "Where is the giant chocolate rabbit?"

The trio's eyes widen as they hear Andre behind them. "Wait a minute." said Firmin. "If you came that way than who did I see..." They all jerk their heads back to the door as they hear it open ,and the bucket falls upon the head of someone who isn't Andre.

"MERDE!" screams the oatmeal covered Antoinette.She glares at the horror stricken boys. "Who did this?" hisses the ballerina.

Phillipe cowers in fear. "Please don't kill me." begs the boy.

Antoinette grabs him in a vice like grip and drags him off leaving the remaining boys to stare in silence.

We go to Phillipe's kitchen where for some weird reason the Persian is currently at.Phillipe goes flying into the room soon followed by the oatmeal covered ballerina.

The Persian lifts his head up at this intrusion.He stares at Antoinette. "Antoinette! That oatmeal was for charity!" scolded the young man sternly.

She shoots him a look that dares him to try and speak again. "Charity? You believed that! Phillipe and our other charming friends were using it in a prank."

"It was intended for Andre!" exclaimed Phillipe in his defense. "We were trying to get him back for this dumb prank day that he made.It was never intended for you."

The Persian stands up in shock. "You were using that for means of revenge? How could you?"

"You are missing the bigger picture." said Antoinette. "He got bested by GILLES ANDRE! How did he get you? You might as well have disgraced your family name!" shouted the ballerina.

Phillipe gave her a confused look. "I'm sorry." said the boy slowly. "I was not aware that the honor of my family's name was at stake."

"Well it is.Tell you what,I am going to help you guys out." offered Antoinette kindly.

The Vicomte gives her an incredulous look. "You will! That's great."

The Persian walks over to the pair. "I am afraid that I cannot allow you to help him out.You are not teaching him good things."

"I am teaching him how to work on the defensive!" shouted the ballerina to the foreigner. "He needs to know how to strike back at his enemies! What is going to happen if I don't teach him these things now?" questioned the girl.

"You do know that I am standing right here." said Phillipe. "So you can just address things about me to me."

"Silence!" yelled the ballerina.And suprisingly he clammed up and looked at the floor.She shakes her head in disappointment. "See how he just took it? There is something wrong with him."

"I still disagree with this whole prank thing." argued the Persian. He than walked out of the kitchen shaking his head.

One day later Antoinette,Erik,Phillipe,and Firmin are standing in the entrance of the opera house.

"This is what we have done." began Erik, "We placed a box of chocolates on the stairs of the opera house,because that dandy just can't resist candy."

"We also iced down the stairs." continued Firmin, "So when he runs up them he'll just slip."

Antoinette beams at them proudly. "Good job." She stops and listens to the air. "Oooo I hear someone approaching!"

They all crouch behind the doors and try to peer out of the doors,when a voice distracts them.

"Hey guys.Why are you all crouching behind the door?" asked Andre.

They all freeze and slowly turn to see that Andre is standing behind them.

Antoinette's eyes widen. "If you are here,than who is..."

Her question is soon answered when they hear a cry from outside.They run outside and see the Persian on the stairs cluthcing his ankle.

"Nadir!" exclaims Erik in shock.He rushes over to his dear friend's side.

"I think I heard a pop." said the Persian as he continued to clutch his ankle. "I just wanted to come over ,and I raced up the stairs and here I am."

Phillipe began to pale. "I am so sorry.Noone was supposed to get hurt.We thought that it was just going to be a harmless prank."

The Persian's face flared at the mention of the word prank. "A PRANK! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THOSE?"

"I am sincerely sorry." apologized Antoinette.The look on her face shadowed exactly what she had said.

"We should bring him inside." suggested Andre. "Firmin,you take his legs and I'll take his arms." He than motions for Firmin to do so.They try to lift the Persian,but it looks very awkward.

Seeing the fear on his friend's face,Erik waves his hands at the bumbling duo. "PUT HIM DOWN!" commanded Erik. "Just go inside all of you."

Phillipe,Andre,Firmin,and Antoinette file back into the opera house leaving the Persian and Erik alone.Erik leans down,picks up his friend,and lets him lean on him. "I am so sorry Nadir." said the disfigured boy with a tone of the utmost regret. "I swear that I will try my hardest to stay away from any form of revenge." swore the boy.

Nadir gazes at him. "Okay than." He than gets off of Erik's shoulder,brushes himself off,and proceeds to walk in without any sign of a limp.

Erik stares dumbfoundly at this new revelation. "You were just faking!" exclaimed the boy in a tone of shock.

Nadir just nods at him as if it were nothing. "You'd be suprised at how many things I can fake." said he a bit mysteriously before continuing his walk.

Erik starts to laugh but than stops when he realizes what he means.
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After Raoul and Christine are married they stay with Phillipe and tend to argue alot.

Phillipe is just enjoying a peaceful breakfast when an angry Raoul comes bursting through the door with an equally angry Christine trailing behind him.

"How many times," started the Viscount, "have I told you that the nightstand to the right is mine! Stop stuffing your belongings in my drawers! End of conversation!" shouted Raoul in a commanding tone.

Christine just crosses her arms and glares at him. "Don't you dare walk away from me! This conversation isn't even close to being over!" screeched the soprano.

"I will walk where I please! See as I walk on the counter!" He than gets on the top of the kitchen counter and than jumps off.

"Fine! Than I will just drink the last of your favorit bottle of wine!" She than storms off in a huff.

Raoul takes a seat next to Phillipe and smirks. "I win." said the young man in a contented voice.Seeing his brother's expression he explains. "I had to put a cigarette out in there."

Suddenly a screech is heard throughout the house. "Ewwwww!" yells Christine.

Phillipe shakes his head at all this noise. "Raoul,what is with you and your 'wife'? You two fight like like cats and wenches."

Raoul sighs. "Please refrain from insulting my wife."

The Comte just gives him a 'yeah right' look.

"Well the honeymoon is over." said Raoul. "I guess after all the excitement of almost dying ,I'm just left with a diva for a wife."

Christine comes back in with a straight face. "I cleared all of your things off the bed."

"Why would you do that?" asks her husband in shock.

"Because that is where we are going to make up!" explained the soprano. "Unless you don't feel like making up..." she than walks off.

A smile is now on the face of the young Viscount. "Honeymoon's back on!" yelled the boy before he ran off in pursuit of his wife.

It is the next morning and Phillipe,Sorelli,Raoul,and Christine are gathered around the breakfast table.Raoul is currently reading the newspaper.

Christine sighs in frustration. "You know that I absoulutely detest it when you read the paper while I am sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!"

Raoul doesn't even look up from his paper. "I am completely aware of it and that is why I do it Lotte."

The singer stands up in a hurry. "Well why don't you read the astrology section while you're at it! I bet it says that your wife WON'T LET YOU TOUCH HER IN ANY WAY!" She than storms out of the dining room.

"Oh here is my horoscope." said Raoul as he pointed to a certain spot of the paper. "It says that you might find yourself MARRIED TO A FLOOZY!" He also gets up and leaves in the opposite direction.

Sorelli looks at the the spot where Raoul exited for several seconds before turning to Phillipe. "Do you know why they fight? Because you decided to punish your brother by giving him a closet of a room.All that tension just builds and so they have no choice but to fight." said the Prima Ballerina rather wisely.

Phillipe considers what the dancer has just said. "You are absolutely right Sorelli!" exclaimed the Comte. "Okay.So you get them out of the house ,and I will change the locks and arrange for guards to keep him away."

"That's not what I meant Phillipe.I think you should let them move into the guest room." suggested Sorreli. "I mean there are so many rooms.It just sits there unused."

"It just sits there is a reason to shoot someone nolonger needed in society!" exclaimed the Comte. "It is not a reason to move in a brother who has defied you and a tramp-in-law that questions your authority!"

The dancer's eyes flares at this comment. "You let them in or else..."

Phillipe gulped for he knew what the 'or else' was. He grudingly nodded his head.

That night Phillipe and Sorelli are lying in bed awake.They are listening to the fight going on from down the hallway.

"WHY IS THE LIGHT STILL ON?" yelled Raoul.

"IT IS SO THAT I CAN READ TO ESCAPE FROM YOUR SNORES!" shouts Christine in reply.

"I WAS SNORING TO DROWN OUT YOUR BORING CHATTER!"

Sorelli gets out of the bed. "That is it.I can no longer stand this! It is like a bunch of intoxicated gypsies are next door!" She than storms out of the room in search of a drink to calm her down.

Phillipe remains in the bed. "Hmmmm. Letting two arguing newlyweds move closer so that we can hear them argue even more.Who could have foreseen this..."

The next day we see Sorelli and Christine in the kitchen while Phillipe and Raoul are in the living room.

"Christine dear,Phillipe and I felt like we should talk to you." said Sorelli in a compassionate voice.

"Raoul, Sorelli is forcing me to talk to you." said the Comte rather bluntly.

Sorelli placed a comforting hand on the young singer's thigh. "We are concerned that theway you two communicate is very unhealty to your marriage."

Phillipe sighs in an exhausted manner. "We are sick and tired of you two screeching at each other like a couple of drunk Irishmen." came the truthful yet blunt words of the Comte.He than hit his brother on the head.

Raoul rubs the spot that his brother just smacked. "Phillipe,what happens between Christine and me is confidential."

Christine looks at Sorelli earnestly. "I'll tell you anything you need to know.Our marriage is like an open book at the library."

Sorelli excitedly looks at her. "That is wonderful! Phillipe and I are the same way.Except for toiletries.That is just disturbing." She than gives a shudder.

Phillipe stares at his little brother in frustration. "Well I have to tell her something! Will you two quit fighting and jumping down each other's throats?"

The Vicomte starts to look a bit uncomfortable. "The thing is that..."

Christine resumes her conversation with Sorelli. "Fighting gets so many things out of the way! We also get so worked up and..."

Raoul is struggling with his word. "After we fight...we...well...you know." He shrugs to his brother. Phillipe still looks confused.

"We get into the bed and passionately make love for about two hours!" says Christine quite cheerily.

Phillipe's face pales as he realizes what Raoul is referring to. "Mon Dieu! I did not need to hear that!" He than holds his head in hands.

Sorelli sits there quite shocked for a moment. "Wow! Tell me more about that!" exclaims the dancer excitedly.

Phillipe raises his head. "So what you are saying is that you two..."

"Fight to steam up the part of your marital relationship that only happens behind closed doors?" asks Sorelli.She is still in a bit of a shocked mode.

Raoul and Christine nod in unison. "Exactly." says the pair coincidentally at the same time.

"You two are naughty!" praises the dancer.

"The two of you are fools!" insults the Count.

About ten minutes later Phillipe and Sorelli are in the living room.

"So," starts the dancer, "those two will just have to go back to their old room on account of their refusal to stop arguing." She than starts to titter. "And do you know why they argue?" She continues to titter.

Phillipe leans back in his seat. "Unfortunately, yes. What kind of weirdos would incessantly fight to steam up their..their...well you know!" He than brings his hand to his forehead.

Sorelli turns her head to him. "I think that it's fine as long as it makes their sex life spicier." says she in a happy tone.

He stares at her than rises from his seat. "ARE WE CALLING IT BY IT'S TRUE NAME NOW?"

She is taken by suprise and seems a bit offended. "You never want to talk about anything with me." said Sorelli sadly.

"YOU ALWAYS DO THOUGH!" shouted Phillipe. "I CAN NEVER DROWN OUT YOUR VOICE UNLESS I LEAVE THE ROOM AND WALK ABOUT TEN BLOCKS!" He was shaking by now.

She stares at him in shock. "PHILLIPE De CHAGNY!"

"CAT FINALLY GOT YOUR TONGUE! WELL GOOD!" He than starts to march away.He pauses and turns back around. "Umm Sorelli dear, I thought that we were trying this arguing thing?"

She continues to stare at him until it hits her. "Oooooooooo." She than gets off the couch and follows Phillipe to his room.
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