A/N-Welcome to another strange installment of That POTO Show. I'd just like to appreciate my thanks to all those who read and enjoy this story.The skit has a death that is talked about.It is not going to be permanent.Sort of like South Park,where they always kill off Kenny than bring him back.Except for that one time they killed him off for good and brought in Butters.I liked Butters.Oh,I'm straying from the subject.Yes,so the character death is not permanent.The character shall return.This has a touch of Leroux.If I got some things wrong than I'm sorry because I only read it once. And if you guys forgot,Elizabeth is Raoul's older sister.
Disclaimer-I DON'T OWN IT! Is that what those fictional lawyers that supposedly monitor the sight want to hear? Because it's the truth!
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Phillipe is traveling across the lake in a gondola he conveniently found.Suddenly he hears a voice that seems to be right in his ear.
"What do you think you are doing Monsieur le Comte?"asked the ghostly voice.
Phillipe looks around in suprise,trying to find where the voice is coming from. "Well,I have come here in search of my brother." responded the Count bravely. "And I guess that little tramp that he is interested in." added he after a slight pause. "By the way,do you know what time it is?"
"DON'T YOU EVER CALL CHRISTINE BY A DEGRADING NAME!" shouted back the voice.Phillipe jumped because it seemed as if the speaker were everywhere now. The voice ,which could be heard breathing very heavily, suddenly seemed to calm down a bit. "Why do you need to know what time it is?"
"I ...just do." replied the Comte hesitatingly. His face suddenly clouds up. "Hey,how did you know that I was talking about that whore,Christine Daae?"
"You have a problem.Why must you always insult my beloved angel? She has done nothing wrong!" retorted the voice.
"I just tell it like it is." stated Phillipe.
He hears an audible sigh. "Well let me tell you how it is.You seem very nasty to those who don't fit the standard in which you have set for your brother's wife.You are very cruel towards the poor girl.I do not see why you must be so hateful towards her! It would not kill you to be nice to her for a day." says the voice.
That was when the siren jumped up and grabbed Phillipe.
Erik stares in horror."Comte?" He than watches in horror as the throttling body eventually ceases all forms of movement."Mon Dieu!" yells the Phantom before he drops into the lake.He drags the body into the gondola and proceeds to row back to his home.
After the chamber floods,and the Persian is the second one to awake.Instead of falling back asleep,he gets up and follows Erik.They both end up outside of the house and chat for a bit.
The Persian suddenly halts the conversation because something has caught his eye.It is a leg sticking out from the corner of the house.Before Erik can stop him he has gone around the house and stumbles upon Phillipe's body.
"Erik,what is the Comte doing sleeping out here?" asked the Persian cautiously.
The Ghost puts on a most guilty expression. "He is not sleeping.He is...dead." says Erik hesitatingly. "But if you think about it ,that's just another form of sleep.A sleep that he shall never wake up from." added Erikin an attempt to lighten up the situation.He expects his friend to react,but the Persian just continues to stand there."I am serious Daroga.He'sactuallydead."
The firmness in which Erik said those words made the Persian react in the way that the Phantom had expected the first time around. "DEAD! WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'DEAD' ?"
"As you know,I momentarily left Christine,and when I returned I mentioned someone asking me for the time.It just happened to be him.I mean,we were having a nice,casual conversation than the Siren came out of the water ,and he died." explained the Phantom in a most calm manner.
"Well you need to do something with his body before-"
"Brother?"
This voice made the duo freeze.They both turn ever so slowly to find the Vicomte standing behind them.
The young man doesn't notice the strange looks he is receiving for the sight of his brother is the only thing he can concentrate on. "It is you!" He than runs to his brother and stoops down to his level. "Phillipe! Wake up! It is I, your brother."
The Persian tries to interrupt the little moment. "Ummmmmmmm Monsieur de Chagny-" Erik holds up a hand,signaling for him not to say anything.
Raoul continues to try and wake his brother. "Wake up!" He starts to shake his brother.
The Persian can no longer contain himself at this sight. "He is dead!" Erik rolls his eyes at his friendand walks back into the house.
The young man becomes stiff at this revelation."Oh God!" says Raoul in horror.He than backs away from the body and stares at his hands. "OH MY GOODNESS! AHHHHHH!" He continues to yell for about 3 minutes.The ebony skinned man tries in vain to calm down the distressed Vicomte. Suddenly Erik re-emerges from the house with a smelly,damp cloth.He walks up to the Viscount, pins him to a wall,and presses the cloth over his nose and mouth.In a matter of seconds,Raoul slumps forward.
Erik swipes his hands together and smiles at his accomplishment.He turns and is greeted by the Persian's disapproving face. "What? I had to do something to calm him down,and if that includes drugging the boy than so be it!" He sighs at the unchanging face. "Will it please you,Daroga,ifI drag him back into the house?"
"Yes,that would ease my conscience a bit more." said the Daroga sarcastically.
With a sigh and an air of reluctance, Erik picks up the unconscious noble and takes him back into the house while the Persian trails after him.
Christine is just sitting dutifully in the room,knitting when they enter.Her eyes widen at the sight of her childhood friend knocked out.She becomes a bit alarmed."What happened to him?" asked the young soprano. "I heard him yelling about Phillipe,but that was all I could make out." Her face than darkens at the mention of the Comte. "How is that lousy bastard doing anyways? Why do I even try to make him happy?"
The Persian walks in just as she makes those two questions. "I do not think that now is the best time to be speaking rashly of the Comte."
"Why not?" asks Christine. "He is just so horrid to me! Was he trying to brainwash Raoul against me again?"
Erik felt the guilt come over him once more. "N...not really." stammered the Ghost. "The strangest thing happened,actually."
Cut to Christine kneeling besides the body.
"The what grabbed him?" questioned the girl harshly.
Erik stares at the ground,trying to avoid eye contact. "The siren." mutters the man incomprehensibly.
"Louder Erik." prods the Persian.
The Phantom sighs in agitation. He than inhales deeply in preparation for what he is about to say."THE SIREN!"
The soprano keeps her eyes glued on Erik. "What in heaven's name were you thinking when you made that?"
"To keep intruders out!" shouted back the mad genius.
The Persian senses that this conversation will most likely end badly so he starts to push Christine back into the house. "You do not want to provoke him any further."
Christine gives in and just lets him guide her towards the house. She hangs her head in sorrow. "This is such a distressing loss."
The Persian throws her a bewildered look. "Did you not just call him a bastard?"
She looks at him in a shocked manner. "I never said such a thing!" said the girl defensively.
Despite the Comte's death,things still play out the same.The only difference being Christine and Raoul not running away on account of Raoul now having to helpplan out a funeral.Raoul is still in horrible mourning so his two sisters and Christine are planning it.Christine has forced Erik to help since he is sort of responsible.
Elizabeth looks over at her younger sister Marie and smiles. "I am so glad that you could come and help Marie." comments the woman in an appreciative tone.
Marie nods. "I had exams at that etiquette academy."
"I'm sorry,Marie." Elizabeth looks guilty for tearing her sister away from school.
"Oh don't feel bad.I never pay attention and was really caught unawares..." She sees her older sister's expression and changes her tone. "But I'm so sad that Phillipe's gone!" She than notices that her sister has an assortment of fresh baked goods surrounding her. "Why is there so much food in here?"
"I just felt like cooking." replies the elder carelessly.
"But you HATE cooking!The last time you cooked was when...Oh no.You're not going through that whole depression thing again,are you?"
Before Elizabeth can answer, Christine and Erik come into the room.Elizabeth turns her attention to the pair. "So how is my brother taking the news?" inquired the busy woman.
Erik rolls his eyes. "You should know how your brother would take it. He talks about how torn up he is,than he starts to sob uncontrollably.Since I couldn't bring my lasso or my chloroform with me I just walked out on him.I did not come out of my home to have to go through someone else's misery." finished he a little bitterly.
Marie stares in admiration at the thought of her brother. "I'm so proud of the way we raised him,Elizabeth.He is so in touch with his emotions."
"He is a nancy." retorted Erik.
Christine gives him a look. "Now Erik,you don't have to be so hard on him.I don't even think you're angry at him.You are just dealing with one of the five stages of dealing with death."explained his ex-wife.
"What do you mean?" asked Marie.
"There are these five stages of dealing with death." replied Christine.She than starts to name them off. "Denial,anger,bargaining,depression,and finally the blessed acceptance." She raises her arms heavenward on 'acceptance'.
Erik gives her an uninterested look. "Christine,I only have two stages.Anger and killing." He than turns his back on her and leaves before she can say anything.
It is now the day of the funeral.The preacher is just finishing up the eulogy.
"And as much as we all wish that the Comte de Chagny could still be here,we must keep in mind that he is in a better place."
"I didn't know that hell was a better place." mutters Christine darkly.
Raoul looks at her in suprise. "Christine!"
She looks suprised and embarrassed. "Did I say that outloud?" She than tries to look innocent.
We travel down the row abit to see Meg and Erik.
Erik glances over at Meg and notices that she seems very depressed. "What's wrong?"
"Oh Erik." says the ballerina in a distraught voice. "Death is so very unexpected.We as humans are so fragile and are unaware of the time that the wind of death has determined to blow out this little flame of existence that we hold so near and dear." She continues to look mournful. She eventually turns her head to see the look of longing that Erik is throwing her. "What?"
"That was beautiful.Now I'm turned on." said the Phantom rather quickly.
"Allright than.Where do you want to go?"
Erik starts to think."Carriage?"
"Coat room." replies Meg.
"Better." compliments Erik.They than get up and head toward the nearest coat room.
Now it's the time where people come up to the coffin and give their last thoughts.The vantage point is from the coffin ,and we can hear the people's thoughts.
Christine walks up and peers down. "Hello there Phillipe.I know that we had our differences.Raoul wanted to marry me ,and you hated me and called me by a plethora of degrading names." She looks very annoyed at this."All I have to say is,try and be nice to God since where that's where you're going to be for awhile.Unless you're in the other place than you'd better be nice to them since those are your tormentors for all of eternity.So farewell,almost brother-in-law." She walks away with a giant grin.
Marie walks up to the coffin now and looks down.She just sort of stares at the body. "Life is so complicated.You get old and die." She is frowning at this thought."Thank goodness that I'm still young and good looking." She than smirks and walks away.
Erik now walks up to the coffin. "Hello there.Well sorry that you died,but you sort of had it coming.I mean who seriously would go down into the cellars unaccompanied!Even those ballet rats know that!Uhhhhh wellthat's all." He walks away.
Richardcomes up to the coffin. "You were the best patron ever! But you never did give us that last amount of money that you promised.Hmmmmmm I think that ring would cover the expenses." He than starts to reach for the ring. "No! I can't! Must resist!" He than runs away before he does something he might regret.
Moncharmin comes up and casually looks down.His eyes widen in shock. "Oh Lord,there's a body in here!" He runs away in fear.
Finally comes Raoul with red eyes.He doesn't look down at first. "Well brother,I guess-" He looks down at the face. "Mon Dieu!" He goes and than comes back with the Pastor.
The Pastor blushes. "Sorry monsieur.Those should not be open." He than reaches down and closes Phillipe's eyelids.
Now is the time where people walk up and give their condolences to the family.
Meg walks up to the de Chagny siblings. "I deeply sorry for the loss of your brother.It was like really sad."
Moncharmincomes up to them with a wide grin. "Great funeral! I wish I could throw one of these! Do you think you guys could plan mine for me?"
Erik shoves him away before he can say anything worse while the siblings stare after him in bewilderment.Erik adresses his statement to Raoul. "I am sorry about your brother,monsieur." He looks atMoncharmin and rubs his temples. "I am also sorry that Moncharmin is a complete idiot." He than glides away.
The Persian approaches the family in a solemn manner. "Mlle.de Chagny,M.de Chagny,and Mlle.de Chagny always remember this.Aloved one's greatness is carried on forever in those that shall always treasuretheir memory." He smiles gently.
Raoul starts to sob horribly.Elizabeth sighs at this. "Have you met our sister Raoul?"
Back at the de Chagny mansion Raoul is talking to Erik and Christine.
"He was like a father to me." lamented the poor boy. "He was always there for me ,and he always had my interests at heart." He buries his face in his hands. "And the last time we talked,all we did was argue.I didn't even say goodbye."
Erik looks at him a bit guiltily. "Raoul,I have something to confess.The last thing I said to your brother was 'It would not kill you to be nice to her for a day.' ,but I think it did because he died soon afterward." He starts to stare at the ground.
Suddenly Elizabeth comes into the room with a sad look on her face.Christine sees the look. "What's wrong Elizabeth?"
"I ran out of things to cook with!" exclaimed the heartbroken woman.She than starts to break out in tears.
Raoul grabs his sister and begins to hug her.He motions Christine to join.She does and than signals for Erik to try it also.He is reluctant to do so but eventually gives in.They are all in a nice hug when Marie comes into the room with a pocket watch.
She is looking intently at the watch. "Do you guys think this is real gold?" She looks up and sees them hugging. "Oh.Emotional,touching moment thing.I'll just leave." She than retreats to whence she came.
2 nights later Erik is at the cemetery.
He stoops down in front of Phillipe's mausoleoum and starts to converse with it. "I deeply regret our last conversation.That must have been some horrible last words for you.I just wanted to say that I think that you're allright.I mean,if you were opposed to that insolent brother of yours being with Christine than that sort of meant that you were on my side." He grins at this. "So I do not feel that you were a horrible person."
Suddenly a voice comes from the mausoleoum. "Than why did you kill me Erik? I shall haunt you forever and never forgive you!"
Erik walks around the mausoleoum and finds Richard hiding behind the corner ,shivering. "What in heavens name are you doing?"
Richard raises his head and gives him a smile. "Freezing my butt off to pull a prank on the Opera Ghost!"
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A/N-There you have it.Don't worry,Phillipe shall come back from the grave.See you next time loving audience.
