-30-

At Bloody last!

Thursday night, Stan and Kyle sat up in Stan's room, but sex appeared to be the last thing on the agenda. They were sitting At Stan's desk, surrounded by homework.

"Homework in the forth grade was much easier" Stan commented

"Homework in the fourth grade usually consisted of Ms Chokesondick, Mr. Makay or Mr. Garrison giving us something retarded to do like look after an egg for a week" Kyle replied, not taking his eyes off his work

"That egg was hard to look after!" Stan protested

Kyle looked up and sighed "Stan, you got the egg shot. You are the only person in the fucking world who has ever had someone target his egg!"

"You hid the real egg from me, because you didn't trust me!" Stan protested

"Stan, you are not the most responsible person in the world. I hid it from you to protect our grade and, as it turned out later, to prove Mr. Garrision wrong"

"You hid the egg to protect YOUR grade." Stan replied, starting to sound pissed off

"Stan, Stop acting like a dick!" Kyle Glared at him

"YOU'RE acting like a dick!" Stan raised his voice and stood up

"No, you're the one acting like a dick!" Kyle stood up and got nose-to-nose with Stan, pushing his chest lightly

Stan pushed Kyle harder "And you're an arsehole!"

"Don't push me!" Kyle growled through gritted teeth, clenching his fists. He shoved Stan back

Stan Pushed Kyle again, harder than he meant to push him. Kyle stumbled backwards, lost his balance and fell backwards. Kyle his head hard on the solid wooden frame of the bed as he went down, knocking him unconscious.

Stan walked over to him "Get up!" He barked, Kyle didn't respond "Get UP!" he barked again and kicked Kyle's side. Kyle Still didn't respond. Stan started to get concerned "Kyle?" he asked, kneeling down my Kyle's side. "Kyle?" Stan asked. No response "Kyle please, stop kidding around. I'm sorry." Still nothing "Oh God" Stan said to himself "Oh god, Oh god, oh god! Please, no!" Stan started to panic "Please Kyle! Get up!" He begged

Kyle simply lay there motionless. Stan had to think quickly. He dashed over to the bookshelf and grabbed a book that read "First Aid, the basics" and quickly flipped through the pages.

"Okay" Stan breathed "Unconsciousness" he read from the book "Remember your ABC's. Airway, Breathing, Circulation. Do not try and move the patient, but check their airway is clear, then make sure they are breathing by putting your ear about an inch away from their mouth, and looking down the body to see if their chest is rising and falling and check that they have a pulse by putting your index and middle finger over their neck arteries, as illustrated below"

Stan grabbed a torch and as gently as he could, opened Kyle's mouth, shining the torch down there he could see what he already knew, nothing was blocking his wind pipe. He put his ear to Kyle's mouth and looked down his body. "Oh shit!" he panicked again, realising Kyle wasn't breathing. He looked over at the book again "In the event they aren't breathing, you need check their pulse, see below. If they have a pulse, gently tip their head back, pinch their nose, take deep breaths put your mouth over theirs and breath out into their lungs."

Stan did as the book instructed, Tears welling up in his eyes and preying in his mind "No, please Kyle, don't die! Kyle, I'm sorry!" after a few goes, Stan took his lips away from Kyle's as Kyle coughed and spluttered. "Kyle?" Kyle opened his eyes "KYLE!" Stan wrapped his arms around Kyle tightly, resting his head on his shoulder, crying in relief.

"Stan?" Kyle asked, not knowing what to make of the situation "What's wrong?"

Stan looked at Kyle through tear-filled eyes "I thought you were going to die on me."

"Why?" Kyle asked bluntly

"You don't know?" Stan dried his eyes on his sleeve.

"Stan, what're you talking about?" Kyle looked confused. "God, my head is killing me"

Stan opened his mouth to speak but there was a loud knock at the front door "I…augh, damn it." He turned around and left the room, darting down stairs. He checked himself in the mirror in the hallway and opened the door.

"WAA!" Tweak screeched as the door opened

"Tweak? What's up?"

"Kenny sent me. He says you've gotta meet him over at Erics house right away!" Tweak twitched

"How come?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Tweaked yelled back

"Okay, okay, relax. Give me two minutes" Stan dashed back upstairs, grabbed his car keys and grabbed Kyle. "C'mon dude. Tweak said Kenny wants us to meet him at Cartman's house."

"Whu? Why Cartman's house" Kyle asked, his head still throbbing

"I dunno just c'mon" Stan replied as they both walked out the room

Tweak was still standing by the front door, Twitching in the way that he normally does "K-Kyle? What're you doing here?"

Kyle groaned "Long story, My head hurts too much for me to explain right now"

Stan un locked the car "Get in guys" he got in, as did Kyle and Tweak. Stan started the car and waited for them to put their seatbelts on. Once they had done so, Stan reversed off the drive-way and drove-off down the road.

Arriving at Cartman's house a few minutes later, they could see police cars already there, and Kenny was standing across the street, leaning against someone's garden wall.

Stan and Kyle got out of the car. "Kenny? What's up?" Stan asked

"You'll see" Kenny smirked, not taking his eyes off Cartman's house "I think you'll like this"

"Like what?" Kyle turned around just in time to see Cartman being brought out by one police officer, another carrying his computer and a few more carrying more piles of DVD's

A wide grin slowly spread across everyone's faces, except Tweak, who was paying more attention to the fact the walls of Stan's car appeared to be closing in on him.

"It's Those arseholes over there!" Cartman screamed "They made me do it, they blackmailed me!" But it wasn't going to work. The police already had the three statements, more illegal DVD's and were pretty sure that they would find all the rest of the evidence they needed on Cartmans computer.