A/N-In honor of Valentine's day, I bring you as many Valentine/gifts of love centric skits that I could think up.Entirely Antoinette and co.
Disclaimer-Hmmmmm what to say,what to say.How about...I don't own anything that would make me a millionaire? Yeah,that's it.
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The guys are just in the opera house when Andre comes in with a big box of chocolates in his hands.
"Look what I have gotten for my girlfriend!" exclaims the young man.He exhales in pure delight. "It sure is great to have a loved one on Valentine's Day!"
Erik looks rather annoyed by this statement. "I know what you mean...Wait a minute, NO I DON'T!" The young boy than turns in a huff.
Andre ignores the outburst. "She is going to love these! I just have to save them until that wondorous day of love." He than puts on a bit of a worried face.
Firmin sees the look and snatches the box.He than holds up it to his face and makes it look enticing. "But you love sweet things." reminded his friend.
Phillipe nods in agreement. "Some would say that it not natural the love you have for it."
Andre looks insulted at this. "Sure I love candy,but I love her more!"
Firmin opens the box and looks inside. "Is that so? Than why are there 3 pieces missing." asked Firmin with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Andre puts on an embarrassed expression and grabs the chocolates. "Fine! I love her the same." He than takes the chocolates and goes to a far off corner.
"I knew that his love for candy would overcome his feelings for any girl." spat Erik from his dark,little corner.
Phillipe turned to face his crazed friend. "What do you have against Valentine's day?"
"Nothing! I just can't stand the sight of people spending money on useless things for others that they claim to care for." explained the disfigured boy bitterly. "Anyways,it's just a scam that the greeting card corporations have come up with to rob people of their money." added Erik.
The Vicomte shakes his head. "I think some of Firmin's conspiracy theories have taken hold of you.Honestly,he is such a conspiracy nut."
This remard doesn't sit too well with Firmin. "I am NOT conspiracy nut! That is just something my tutors made up to further discredit me." explains the young man in a paranoid manner.
Phillipe ignores this weird defense and continues his conversation with Erik. "Well,I think it's nice that Andre has found someone to be with."
"Well I think that his love for chocolates will prevail over his love for this girl." challenged the intellectually gifted boy.
"Hmmmm.You think that do you? Well we'll just have to see,won't we?" replied the noble.
"I guess so." said Erik. He than turned to where Andre was.Andre had his back turned to his friends. "How goes preserving those chocolates?" asked Erik.
Andre turns around to face them and Erik and Firmin burst into fits of laughter while Phillipe slaps his forehead.Andre has chocolate smeared all over his mouth. "It's going swell!" retorted Andre before popping another chocolate into his mouth.
Later the guys are sitting in a circle.Andre has a can of chocolate powder and is sprinkling it over the chocolates.
"I have to stop eating these!"exclaimed the young man in dismay. He than picks up a chocolate,examines it and eats it. "AHH! I am HOPELESS!" He than grabs the can and starts to pour it into his mouth.
Firmin stares at his friend in disgust. "That's not very healthy for you." warned Firmin.
"I agree." said Phillipe. "Give me those." He than tries grabs the chocolate box from the chocoholic.
Andre keeps a firm grip on the box. "NO! I CAN STOP ANYTIME I WANT TO!" They than fall on the floor and wrestle over the box.
Erik chuckles at this. "What did I tell you?"
Later that day Firmin,Erik,and Andre are just hanging out when Phillipe comes in.
"My father just yelled at me again and gave me one of those 'You need to start acting serious or else..' lectures." said Phillipe in a rather annoyed fashion.
"You know what might make you feel better?" asked Erik. "One of Andre's chocolates." With that suggestion he points at Andre who is still holding the box.It just happens to be open.
"No! You can't have any!" shouted Andre. "There are only 9 left,and I intend to guard them with every fiber of my being!" He than puffs his chest out in an attempt to look brave.With smirks on their faces, Firmin and Erik each grab a chocolate before Andre can do anything. "Erik! Firmin! Andre!" He than grabs a chocolate and eats it.He moans in ecstasy. "That was the best tasting piece I've ever had."
"You know what might tast better?" asked Erik again in that playful voice. "Eating the remaining 6."
Phillipe marches over to Andre and snatches the box from out of his hands. "No! I will not allow you to degrade the sanctity of this present! I can't believe you guys.Trying to force him to eat them and eating some yourselves.You should all be ashamed of yourselves." scolded the Viscount.
Erik gets up and walks up to Phillipe.He looks truly sorrowful. "I am sorry Phillipe." A mischievous grin soon replaces the sorrowful look. "For what I'm about to do!" Before Phillipe can react,Erik grabs a piece of chocolate and forces it into Phillipe's mouth.Because he was taken by suprise,the young Vicomte had no choice but to swallow the piece.
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" exclaimed Phillipe.
"So that you could taste the sweet fruits of temptation." replied Erik casually.
Phillipe rolls his eyes and leaves the room.Erik returns his attention to Andre. "Are you sure that you don't want the last 5?"
"What the heck?" The struggling lover grabs 4 of the pieces and puts them in his mouth.
On the day of Valentine's...
Andre is staring sadly at his box.There is only one lone chocolate left.
Erik nudges Phillipe in the side. "I told you that his love for candy would prevail over-"
"Yadda,yadda,yadda." interrupts the begrudged noble.
Andre tries to hold in a sob."She is going to be so disappointed.Better that she doesn't know." He than picks up the last piece to finish it off but just as he lifts it the paper goes up, and it is revealed to him that there are more chocolates.His spirits brighten considerably. "More chocolate! It is a Valentine's day miracle!"
Phillipe suddenly seems much happier.He than throws a wide grin at the now frowning Erik. "Who's right now? I had a feeling that love for a person would overcome love for sweets." He puts his hands on his hips and looks at Andre proudly.
Andre is still staring intently at the chocolates. "Oh sweet fruits from the heavens! You have me entranced in your wonderful brown spell!" He than starts to devour the chocolate greedily.
Erik regains his smirk,Phillipe slaps his hand to his forehead and drags down his face,and Andre continues to eat his first love.
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The guys are just sitting around in Phillipe's living room,when Phillipe gets up.
"I think I'm going to get Sorelli a ring." announced the Viscount. "She's been really moody lately ,and I think it's because I haven't gotten anything for her lately."
Erik sighs at this seemingly worthless announcement. "Don't discuss your relationship problems here.I don't think that I could handle the secret girl within you.Try your best to keep Phillippina in."
Firmin starts to chuckle. "Awesome your name to make it all feminine.Heh.Good thing you can't do that with my name." He than beams at that supposed fact.
Erik turns his head towards him and smirks."Sure about that,Rachel?"
Firmin's face falls. "Drats.I forgot about my first name."
Andre laughs at the two of them. "Hahahahahahaha! He got you guys good!"
"Shut up Andrea." retort Phillipe and Firmin unanimously.
"Always has to be me! Why is my name so easy?" Andre than leaves the room put off.
Firmin gets up as well. "I think that I'll go with you dear Vicomte.Antoinette's still single ,and I think that I'm the kind of guy she'd go for." He nods his head trying to assure himself.
Erik starts to titter ,which is quite weird for a boy who is mostly serious and sometimes downright frightening. "YOU with ANTOINETTE! Hahahahahahahaha! Maybe never! Hahahahahahaha!" The boy than cluthces his side and rolls on the floor.
Firmin glares at him. "Come on Phillipe.Let's go.Erik simply doesn't understand the intricacies of wooing women." He turns to face Phillipe and sees that he is also trying to contain himself. "Not you too! Ah!"
"I'm sorry." Phillipe takes a gulp of air and composes himself. "Okay,I'm ready.Let's go." Before leaving he takes one last look at Erik who has now calmed down a lot more. "Bye Erik...uhhhh -lina." He faces Firmin. "What's a good feminine name for Erik?"
"Uhhhhhh,Erik...isha?" Firmin shrugs his shoulders.
The disfigured genius sighs at their stupididty. "It is Erica, you simpletons, ERICA!"
The pair makes an 'Ooooo' face than departs for the rings.
The pair is in a dark ,abandoned alley.
Phillipe looks around in paranoia. "What was wrong with the jewelry store again?"
"Those people are highway robbers! And sometimes you forget that not everyone gets a nice fat income like you." explained Firmin. "Don't worry.I know this guy who knows this other guy.He'll give us what we need real cheap."
Suddenly a short hooded figure approaches them.He removes the hood to reveal...
"Joseph Buquet?" exclaims Phillipe in shock.
The little boy waves his hand at the Viscount.
"Yeah it's Joe.Something wrong with that?" asks Firmin.
Phillipe gives him a dull look. "Firmin,I know this boy."
"Fine,than you're the guy!" shouts Firmin,throwing his hands in the air.
"So what do you two need?" asked the young merchant.
"Uhhhhh,what do you have?" questioned Phillipe.
"Rings,necklaces,shirts,wine,alcohol...other items of interest." He raises his eyebrows suggestively at the last product.
The last one grabs the attention of the two boys. "Really." muses the pair simultaneously.
Joseph nods his head.
Phillipe clears his throat to make his offer."As interesting as the last one sounds I think we'll take-"
"WE!" yelled Firmin. "Screw the ring,I think it's time I give myself a little loving."
"Okay than." says Phillipe slowly. "I'll just take a ring."
"And I'll take up to five year's in prison's worth of the items of interest." says Firmin.
The next day we see Andre and Sorelli just talking at the opera house.
"So," started Andre, "where's the ring that Phillipe bought for you?"
Sorelli's face becomes clouded in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
Andre looks embarrassed as he realizes that he hasn't given it to her yet. "Oh yes,because he hasn't given it to you yet..." He sees her face light up and realizes that he messed up again. "I MEAN...he'll never give you one...uhhhhh." He runs away before she can further question him.
The dancer twirls about in excitement.She than sees Antoinette and grabs her. "Phillipe's getting me a ring!" announces the excited girl.
"That's great." replies the other ballerina in a voice lacking enthusiasm.
"I hope he hides it in food." continues Sorelli. "Because I've told him that if he ever gets me something expensive,that he should put it in food. It's really classy."
Antoinette just nods her head in agreement all while trying to slowly back away from the seemingly delusional dancer.
Later Phillipe is at the park with Sorelli.
"Dear," begins the nervous boy, "I have brought you something to show how much I care for you." He than pulls out a giant ice cream sundae.
"A sundae?" questions the girl critically. She than gasps,thinking about what she has always told him. She grabs the sundae and shoves her face into it.She than starts using her hands to feel around in it. "Fis goold." comments the sloppy girl.
The Vicomte stares at her in horror. "Um s..s..sweetie,could you ummm...c..c..close your m..m..mouth?"
She stops digging around with her hands and grabs the spoon that he was clutching.She uses the utensil to search for the ring. "Gwat da hegl, Phwillipe? Is just a swupid sudaae." She gives him an evil look.
He gets out his hankerchief and starts to wipe the ice cream away from her mouth. "No,it's the ice cream of love."
Now it's Erik's place where Erik and Firmin are.Suddenly Sorelli bursts in on them.
"Where is Phillipe de Chagny? I want my ring!" demanded the dancer.
"He's in the torture chamber." replies Erik with a little smirk to show that he's lying.
Sorelli actually starts to walk over to it until Firmin stops her. "Don't go there! Erik,how many times do I have to tell you that you can't kill friends?" scolded the young man. "He's in Erik's bedroom." Sorelli starts to walk in that direction until she is once again stopped. "Wait! He wants to give it to you,but he just cannot."
The girl puts her hands on her hips and looks at him menacingly. "And why exactly should he be afraid?" inquired the dancer.
"Because you're frightening." answered Erik.
"No." interrupts Firmin. "It's because he just likes to do things his way."
"Like a power crazed tyrant." supplied Erik once more.
Firmin once more ignored him. "You will just have to accept that he'll give it to you when the time is right."
At that moment Phillipe walked out of Erik's room.Sorelli marches right up to him and thrusts her hand out. "I want my ring now,you moron!" yelled the girl.
"Or she could yell at him." commented Erik from the side. "It's more entertaining that way." He than leans back to enjoy what he thinks is going to be a fight.
"I have waited for 2 days ,now give me that ring!" demanded Sorelli once more.
Phillipe seems shocked at how abrasive she was being.He than recomposes himself. "Allright,I was waiting for the a better time but since you want it now might as well do it now." He gets down on one knee. "Sorelli, since the first time I saw you, I knew that I had to be with you.And not in the emotional way,I mean the much better physical way.But when we had finished doing that I found that I still wanted you to hang around.So will you accept this ring?"
She shrugs her shoulders. "I guess I might as well since I wanted it so much."
Phillipe get off the ground and they hug.
Erik looks on in disgust. "Oh Lord."
Firmin looks at them teary eyed. "I know." He than gives a slight sob,which causes Erik to eye him weirdly.
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